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Thread: Busted

  1. #1
    Member MonicaPVD's Avatar
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    Busted

    Last March, right before all the pandemonium hit, I was driving through a nearby town returning from a wonderful evening with a friend. It was late and I was dressed in a tiny, very revealing dress and had all my gear on. I was listening to music and my mind was on another planet when, suddenly, I saw a cop car behind me, lights flashing. I pulled over and waited for the cop to do their usual terrified/badass strut to my window. Low and behold, the cop who pulled me over was the adult son of a lifelong friend who was a fresh rookie on that police force. He recognized me immediately but, to his credit, played it straight and was very professional. So professional, in fact, that he gave me a 10 mph over the limit speeding ticket, which was ridiculous and terrible but what could I do. Well, I spent a couple of months fretting over whether or not he would tell his parents that he had pulled me over all dolled up. In the months since, I have had multiple interactions with his father, who never mentioned anything. This past weekend, I decided to get together with my friend and another for drinks at a favorite nearby restaurant after months of isolation. Wouldn't you know that, after knocking back a couple of beers, he turns to me and says, I heard you have great legs! I played dumb and kept talking with the other friend present. Friend #1 followed up, snickering, yeah, my son told me you looked kind of hot when he pulled you over. He couldn't control himself at this point and just started laughing. Friend #2 asked what was going on, he didn't understand. Friend #1 told him the entire story about his cop son pulling me over late one night. Friend #2 was somewhere between shocked and embarrassed. I just sat there, trying to smile and wishing that I could climb under a rock. When friend #1 finished telling the story, friend #2 immediately changed the subject to sports. The conversation continued for another half hour or so until we left. On the way out, friend #2 said, I'm sorry this guy embarrassed you like that. You do you. Don't worry about it. This was one of the first times ever that my two lives have crashed into each other. It was surreal. Needless to say, I'm not particularly pleased with friend #1. This is the life we chose, I guess.

  2. #2
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    Monica Friend #1 is not a friend and his son was very unprofessional and you should report the incident to his superiors.
    Friend # 2 is a genuine friend

  3. #3
    Reality Check Krisi's Avatar
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    We run risks when we deviate from the norm. It was an unlikely event that led to this, but as they say "Sh*t Happens".

    In reality, the cop shouldn't have told his father. That was unprofessional.
    Krisi

  4. #4
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    Not cool I would have a serious discussion with that jerk! Friend number 2 sounds like true friend. I have done. Multiple 150 mile drives completely dressed and always worried about being pulled over but after reading all the positive comments on this forum about police interactions I no longer worry about it. Stay strong Monica.

  5. #5
    Member MonicaPVD's Avatar
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    Thanks, Jill. I have never worried about being out and about while dressed. This was just a freak occurrence while driving through a small town with a tiny police force that happens to include someone I know. It's almost statistically impossible to repeat. I'm more offended by my friend's attitude than I am concerned about being outed at this point.
    Last edited by char GG; 01-12-2021 at 09:15 AM. Reason: Not necessary to quote the post directly before yours

  6. #6
    Aspiring Member Geena75's Avatar
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    A 'friend' who looks to ridicule you in front of others is always offensive, even more so on what is a sensitive situation. A one on one conversation would have been appropriate. Maybe he thought it was friendly teasing, but not in public on this issue. You are totally right and mature in your reaction.

    He was right about one thing -- you do look kind of hot.

  7. #7
    Member MonicaPVD's Avatar
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    Hah! Thank you, Geena.
    Last edited by char GG; 01-12-2021 at 09:18 AM. Reason: Not necessary to quote the post directly before yours

  8. #8
    Gold Member Crissy 107's Avatar
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    Monica, I agree about the father not being a friend, if you called him on it later he most likely would have said it was just a joke. Yeah right
    Crissy

  9. #9
    Member MonicaPVD's Avatar
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    Kim, I'll just ignore him for now. If he brings up the matter at some point, I will let him know that I am disappointed in his adolescent approach. I don't plan on hanging around with him any more.

  10. #10
    Junior Member Janet Devon's Avatar
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    Monica,
    I think you would be wise to just stay away , I would just wait. He might decide on his own that he made a major mistake and apologize but if not, he isn't a real friend anyway.
    Last edited by char GG; 01-12-2021 at 12:46 PM. Reason: Not necessary to quote the post directly before yours

  11. #11
    Feminaut Julie MA's Avatar
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    Scary, and a little funny. Sounds like you took it all well. As beautiful as you are, maybe jerko was jealous.

    Some people are so far in the closet, all they can do is hate.
    Inside my heart is breaking
    My make-up may be flaking
    But my smile still stays on

    Such is CD life (sounds so much better in French)

  12. #12
    Member MonicaPVD's Avatar
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    Thank you, Julie. I'd like to believe that his inhibitions were down due to the drinks. However, I have no tolerance for a person who might continue to ridicule me or hold this over my head. This episode hasade me think a lot about being more open regarding Monica. I have successfully compartmentalized my life for a long time, but that can be exhausting.

  13. #13
    Aspiring Member DianeT's Avatar
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    Monica, I suppose that friend #1 had one too many and obviously skipped the class about subtlety and tact. Friend #2 is clearly a keeper.

  14. #14
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    You can make a complaint against the officer for unprofessional conduct. If he were to be fired, then the question would arise; Why? Then, the entire story may become public. You can lose control over the situation. Kick father and son to the curb.

  15. #15
    Aspiring Member Sandi Beech's Avatar
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    Monica

    Gee what are the odds of that. That is crazy and unfortunate. I guess you can see their true personalities. Seems like friend 2 understood how it would have made you uncomfortable and hence explains his discomfort at the situation.

    I am not sure I would want to maintain a friendship with number 1. Only time will tell if number 2 is a true friend. Hopefully that friendship remains intact. So sorry.

    Sandi

  16. #16
    Silver Member Meghan4now's Avatar
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    Monica,

    Of course this is too late now, but just as a thought, what if you did the unexpected? Embrace the conversation? Basically answer back, "Why, yes I DO clean up well. Your son said I was hot?? Really?? I hope he isn't planning on asking me out on a date or anything. Come to think of it, it seems as if YOU'RE quite intrigued as well. Is there something you're not telling us?"

    It's an old Tai Chi strategy, use their force against them. When they push add a little energy in the same direction, and they overcommit and fall off balance. Essentially you flip it on them, and then they have to defend themselves.

    Just a thought
    Put on a Happy Face.

  17. #17
    Member MonicaPVD's Avatar
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    That's a great point Meghan. I prefer not to imagine where that rabbit hole could have led. Lol. I'll just keep my distance for now and let time tell.

  18. #18
    Weirdest woman ever! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    I have been out countless times, Monica. But, not wanting to experience what u did, never near home!
    Of course, I could always be pulled over driving to or from an event. But, I don't drink and drive so I'm not worried.

    I live in a county with 4 million people. So I have better chance of being hit by a meteor than being pulled over by someone who knows me!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  19. #19
    There's that smile! CarlaWestin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MonicaPVD View Post
    This is the life we chose, I guess.
    When I was your age I was in the mind set of trying to still figure out why I was doing this until the truth hit. This life chose me. This is who I am. Even in DADT where my outward presentation is stereotypical male, I'm still lovely Carla.

    Hon, sorry to hear about what happened. You do know that alleged friend #1 was bolstering his bravado fuelled by alcohol, right? This is what insecure people do. And the waiting for a moment to intimidate instead of being accepting and curious like a true friend is unforgivable.
    I've waited so long for this time. Makeup is so frustrating. Shaking hands and I look so old. This was a mistake.
    My new maid's outfit is cute. Sure fits tight.
    And then I step into the bedroom and in the mirror, I see a beautiful woman looking back at me.
    Smile, Honey! You look fabulous!

  20. #20
    Member jamienoir's Avatar
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    That's a truly ugly thing to do, especially in front of another person and then re-state the incident. Deep, deep, deep down in this person's sub-conscious he probably wants to see you dressed (or is interested).

  21. #21
    Fun Member Natalie5004's Avatar
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    Totally not cool at all. My instincts would be to say that right to his face. That could have been a private conversation if it was needed.

  22. #22
    Member LIKETODRESS2's Avatar
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    Sorry to hear that, If that was my friend not sure i would be able to talk to him anymore

  23. #23
    Aspiring Member josie_S's Avatar
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    [QUOTE=jamienoir;4498277]Deep, deep, deep down in this person's sub-conscious he probably wants to see you dressed (or is interested).[/QUOTE

    This was my reaction as well. I wouldn't be all that surprised if he brings it up again, maybe in a one-on-one setting, before you ever do, Monica. He might have been subconsciously testing the waters, so to speak...

  24. #24
    Member Molly Wells's Avatar
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    Very timely post Monica;
    Just today I was under dressed with bra and forms working in my shop and around the house. The weather is in the 40's today so I was layered in a long sleeve pullover and a sweatshirt. The sweatshirt is kind of baggy and my breast are not very noticeable, although you can tell if you take a closer look. I am dadt and am usually very careful when I leave the house in any level of femme mode. But today, I needed to go to the storage unit for some items. I got in my truck with forms still in and stopped at the convenience store for a drink. I figured nobody would notice and to my knowledge I was correct. I did the same thing at the storage unit, had to go into the office for a minute, then spent time at the unit loading items in my truck. All while wearing my forms. In retrospect, it was a real roll of the dice because I could easily have encountered someone who knows me. Probably not the smartest decision.
    Also, more along the lines of your experience, through my work and network I have several friends and acquaintances that are law enforcement. I have often wondered what would be the result of getting stopped while out enfemme on one of my outings if the word got around that I had gotten stopped while dressed. Fortunately it has never happened but always a roll of the dice.
    I think like others, I would likely stay away from friend #1 and hope the story died.

    Molly

  25. #25
    Senior Member mbmeen12's Avatar
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    he probably wants to see you dressed (or is interested
    There it is....and or just so ignorant....
    Escapism isn't necessarily bad, but is definitely unhealthy in the long term. While helpful in the short term, things will degrade over time. At some point, the escapee will have to face the issue. Things simply blowing over isn't really going to happen in many situations.

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