Busted

[MonicaPVD]

Last March, right before all the pandemonium hit, I was driving through a nearby town returning from a wonderful evening with a friend. It was late and I was dressed in a tiny, very revealing dress and had all my gear on. I was listening to music and my mind was on another planet when, suddenly, I saw a cop car behind me, lights flashing. I pulled over and waited for the cop to do their usual terrified/badass strut to my window. Low and behold, the cop who pulled me over was the adult son of a lifelong friend who was a fresh rookie on that police force. He recognized me immediately but, to his credit, played it straight and was very professional. So professional, in fact, that he gave me a 10 mph over the limit speeding ticket, which was ridiculous and terrible but what could I do. Well, I spent a couple of months fretting over whether or not he would tell his parents that he had pulled me over all dolled up. In the months since, I have had multiple interactions with his father, who never mentioned anything. This past weekend, I decided to get together with my friend and another for drinks at a favorite nearby restaurant after months of isolation. Wouldn't you know that, after knocking back a couple of beers, he turns to me and says, I heard you have great legs! I played dumb and kept talking with the other friend present. Friend #1 followed up, snickering, yeah, my son told me you looked kind of hot when he pulled you over. He couldn't control himself at this point and just started laughing. Friend #2 asked what was going on, he didn't understand. Friend #1 told him the entire story about his cop son pulling me over late one night. Friend #2 was somewhere between shocked and embarrassed. I just sat there, trying to smile and wishing that I could climb under a rock. When friend #1 finished telling the story, friend #2 immediately changed the subject to sports. The conversation continued for another half hour or so until we left. On the way out, friend #2 said, I'm sorry this guy embarrassed you like that. You do you. Don't worry about it. This was one of the first times ever that my two lives have crashed into each other. It was surreal. Needless to say, I'm not particularly pleased with friend #1. This is the life we chose, I guess.

[Giselle(Oshawa)]

Monica Friend #1 is not a friend and his son was very unprofessional and you should report the incident to his superiors.
Friend # 2 is a genuine friend

[Krisi]

We run risks when we deviate from the norm. It was an unlikely event that led to this, but as they say "Sh*t Happens".

In reality, the cop shouldn't have told his father. That was unprofessional.

[Jillcder]

Not cool I would have a serious discussion with that jerk! Friend number 2 sounds like true friend. I have done. Multiple 150 mile drives completely dressed and always worried about being pulled over but after reading all the positive comments on this forum about police interactions I no longer worry about it. Stay strong Monica.

[Alexis00]

Not cool I would have a serious discussion with that jerk! Friend number 2 sounds like true friend. I have done. Multiple 150 mile drives completely dressed and always worried about being pulled over but after reading all the positive comments on this forum about police interactions I no longer worry about it. Stay strong Monica.

I was pulled over in a DUI roadblock. The state trooper asked me if I?d been drinking, said no, and was on my way.

[MonicaPVD]

Thanks, Jill. I have never worried about being out and about while dressed. This was just a freak occurrence while driving through a small town with a tiny police force that happens to include someone I know. It's almost statistically impossible to repeat. I'm more offended by my friend's attitude than I am concerned about being outed at this point.

[Geena75]

A 'friend' who looks to ridicule you in front of others is always offensive, even more so on what is a sensitive situation. A one on one conversation would have been appropriate. Maybe he thought it was friendly teasing, but not in public on this issue. You are totally right and mature in your reaction.

He was right about one thing -- you do look kind of hot.

[MonicaPVD]

Hah! Thank you, Geena.

[Crissy 107]

Monica, I agree about the father not being a friend, if you called him on it later he most likely would have said it was just a joke. Yeah right

[MonicaPVD]

Kim, I'll just ignore him for now. If he brings up the matter at some point, I will let him know that I am disappointed in his adolescent approach. I don't plan on hanging around with him any more.

[Janet Devon]

Monica,
I think you would be wise to just stay away , I would just wait. He might decide on his own that he made a major mistake and apologize but if not, he isn't a real friend anyway.

[ShelbyDawn]

Monica,

Since he is a shared acquaintance with several others, I would offer this;

When my ex and I divorced, I am positive she outed me to at least a dozen of our friends. I was a scout master at the time and several relationships became strained for reasons unknown to me. I kept doing what I do and being who I was, singing up for camp outs and teaching merit badge classes, after a while, most of the people must have decided that it either didn't matter or that my ex was lying out of spite. Point is, true or not, it was a third party rumor and I did absolutely nothing to address it, letting it have it's own life. With no corroboration, I am sure some still believe it and others don't, but that I will never acknowledge or address it either way.

Keep the high road.

[Crissy 107]

Monica, Interesting that he called you but I would still dump this loser, he is no friend

[Pumped]

So, now he wants to go on a date?

Makes me wonder his motives!

[josie_S]

So, now he wants to go on a date?

Makes me wonder his motives!

It doesn't make me wonder about his motives at all! LOL

[alwayshave]

Monica, I'm so sorry that this happened to you. At least friend #2 ended up being a real friend.

[Genifer Teal]

No one commented about the ticket? A long time friend of his dad and he couldn't give you a warning? That was the first bad sign.

[Pumped]

Monica, at least now if he gives you any crap about your dressing you can ask him who had his hand on your leg and looked disappointed when you shut him down!

[Julie MA]

Scary, and a little funny. Sounds like you took it all well. As beautiful as you are, maybe jerko was jealous.

Some people are so far in the closet, all they can do is hate.

[MonicaPVD]

Thank you, Julie. I'd like to believe that his inhibitions were down due to the drinks. However, I have no tolerance for a person who might continue to ridicule me or hold this over my head. This episode hasade me think a lot about being more open regarding Monica. I have successfully compartmentalized my life for a long time, but that can be exhausting.

[DianeT]

Monica, I suppose that friend #1 had one too many and obviously skipped the class about subtlety and tact. Friend #2 is clearly a keeper.

[Stephanie47]

You can make a complaint against the officer for unprofessional conduct. If he were to be fired, then the question would arise; Why? Then, the entire story may become public. You can lose control over the situation. Kick father and son to the curb.

[Sandi Beech]

Monica

Gee what are the odds of that. That is crazy and unfortunate. I guess you can see their true personalities. Seems like friend 2 understood how it would have made you uncomfortable and hence explains his discomfort at the situation.

I am not sure I would want to maintain a friendship with number 1. Only time will tell if number 2 is a true friend. Hopefully that friendship remains intact. So sorry.

Sandi

[Meghan4now]

Monica,

Of course this is too late now, but just as a thought, what if you did the unexpected? Embrace the conversation? Basically answer back, "Why, yes I DO clean up well. Your son said I was hot?? Really?? I hope he isn't planning on asking me out on a date or anything. Come to think of it, it seems as if YOU'RE quite intrigued as well. Is there something you're not telling us?"

It's an old Tai Chi strategy, use their force against them. When they push add a little energy in the same direction, and they overcommit and fall off balance. Essentially you flip it on them, and then they have to defend themselves.

Just a thought

[Leslie Mary S]

Monica,

Of course this is too late now, but just as a thought, what if you did the unexpected? Embrace the conversation? Basically answer back, "Why, yes I DO clean up well. Your son said I was hot?? Really?? I hope he isn't planning on asking me out on a date or anything. Come to think of it, it seems as if YOU'RE quite intrigued as well. Is there something you're not telling us?"

It's an old Tai Chi strategy, use their force against them. When they push add a little energy in the same direction, and they over-commit and fall off balance. Essentially you flip it on them, and then they have to defend themselves.

Just a thought

I really like the way You (Megan4Now) advised. Be ready to turn the table.

And I have had a few barflies try to hit on me. They, like myself, were near "Older than the Hills" age. grin