Hi Monica, That is the chance that we take when we go out dressed,
Agree that #1 should not have outed you in front of #2, >Orchid**OO**
Hi Monica
Agree that #1 should not have outed you in front of #2, >Orchid**O
Having my ears triple pierced is AWESOME, ~~...
I can explain it to you, But I can't comprehend it for you !
If at first you don't succeed, Then Skydiving isn't for you.
Be careful what you wish for, Once you ring a bell , you just can't Un-Ring it !! !!
Monica, first, what a great person friend 2 is. They deserve a thank-you.
Second, friend one is way out of line as was his son. My suggestion is that you say something like this to friend 1 -
‘I feel I have to tell you that your behaviour towards me was unacceptable. It seems to me that, if you got the information about me from your son, disclosing that information to you was completely unprofessional on his part and would damage his career if I complained to his employer. Because we are friends it is not my intention to complain, but I want you to understand that your behaviour was not only unkind to me but put your sons career and livelihood at risk.’
Last edited by JennyMay; 01-13-2021 at 07:20 AM.
Monica, Friend #1 is a Bully. They never change. They are small people and it makes them feel better about themselves to bully others. I?d walk away from that friendship.
Update: Friend #1 called me this morning. I was on a Zoom meeting, so he left a VM. Apologized for being inappropriate, said he respected me and had no problem with any of it, and *drum roll please* offered to be available to meet up for coffee or lunch with me dressed, as a good faith gesture. Lol. Yes, ladies, those of you who speculated about his motives were onto something. 😂🤣😂
Monica,
That is an interesting development, and maybe it is ok and good, but I would be wary about taking him up on it. All you need is for him to take a bunch of pictures with his phone and spread it around to the world. If you give it some time you will know if it is ok or not depending on further spreading it or not. Still it sounds good.
I hope it works out just fine.
Later
Sandi
Sandi, I have no interest in feeding his kinky curiosity. This is a man I have known for decades with whom I have a lot of shared acquaintances, not some random person. Presenting as Monica to him could open up a can of worms. So far all he has is a third-person account. I plan on keeping it that way.
GOTDANGIT!!!! I swear I logged in to give further details to my prior comment. That he would probably call you in a few weeks (contact you) and apologize blah blah - and then leave it at that. Then he would probably follow-up with another call/contact to talk more about.Originally Posted by MonicaPVD
I was almost right. He got right to the point, DANG. This is interesting.
Yes, indeed, Jamie. You were right. I guess he will have to satisfy his curiosity with someone else. I have never played close to home and don't intend to start doing so any time soon.
Monica,
Since he is a shared acquaintance with several others, I would offer this;
When my ex and I divorced, I am positive she outed me to at least a dozen of our friends. I was a scout master at the time and several relationships became strained for reasons unknown to me. I kept doing what I do and being who I was, singing up for camp outs and teaching merit badge classes, after a while, most of the people must have decided that it either didn't matter or that my ex was lying out of spite. Point is, true or not, it was a third party rumor and I did absolutely nothing to address it, letting it have it's own life. With no corroboration, I am sure some still believe it and others don't, but that I will never acknowledge or address it either way.
Keep the high road.
I am Me and Me is OK!
Shelby
Monica, Interesting that he called you but I would still dump this loser, he is no friend
Crissy
So, now he wants to go on a date?
Makes me wonder his motives!
And suddenly all becomes clear. If you go to this meeting dressed, you will soon discover that f(r)iend #1 did too and invited the unsuspecting you to a GNO, hoping to get advices on his wardrobe and tips for smoky eyes done right.
"Uncle Bob, can you rewind the tape and enhance sound like they do pictures in these police movies."
"Sure, inspector Fanny."
- Clock! - zwiiizwiiiwiiwiiwiiwii - clock! -
F(r)iend #1: "I heard you have great legs!"
(To himself) "How does he achieve that. He's moisturizing every day for sure. Darn. If only I could find out the cosmetic brand he is using. Mine are dry and itchy in pantyhose."
- Click! - zweeezweeezayzay - clack! -
F(r)iend #1: "Yeah, my son told me you looked kind of hot when he pulled you over. Mwuhahahaha!"
(To himself) "How does he pull this off? I'd love to look like an atomic bombshell but when I'm wrapped in my bodycon dress I look more like an overstuffed hoagie than Marilyn Monroe singing for Kennedy. I definitely need the address of his tailor - Aw, friend #2 changed the subject to sports. Pfff here we go more talk about greasy hairy sweating bipeds with no clue about color matching and floral patterns..."
- Clock! -
Last edited by DianeT; 01-14-2021 at 11:01 AM. Reason: Minor edits
Monica,
You already know his true personality!
One thing would be if he had made fun of you, butnit is a totally different spitefull thing to make fun and out you to another friend. There is no excuse for that.
It doesn't make me wonder about his motives at all! LOL
Diane,
This is hilarious! I don't doubt it. All the more reason to stay far away. You might be surprised at the number of men, who I have met over the years, who come on strong only to reveal their lifelong closeted desire to be CD or trans. If I had a Bitcoin for every alpha-looking guy who eventually took a sharp turn into "I love to wear panties/pantyhose/etc", I would be a multimillionaire. 😂
Thanks for posting your experience in this matter, the thread caused me to visualize what I would do.
I could see the same scenario as I know a few local men and women officers who have friended my wife thru volunteer work.
And mine situation would be a bit more of a sticky wicket than yours.
I also would take the high road though, I might have said something during the initial stop like, "lets keep this professional and keep it to yourself please!"
I also have a TG I.D. card I use along with my license to bring that point across....
my address and license numbers are faked to show the message of the I. D.
CKID 4X3v2.jpg
I got it a my local TG salon, they made it while I waited, for $10 but if you have a laminating machine, you could make your own!
I had to use it when trying to get around a out of town tourist, the police officer was very professional and knew a can of worm when he saw my I.D.
It leaves no doubt in a court room and also conveys you respect them. No ticket, just a verbal warning...PHEW!
Candice Coleen Kowal....all my friends call me Candy!
Candice, that's very cool. Not sure if it would have changed anything in this very freak scenario, but definitely worth pursuing for the future. I have been pulled over before while dressed, mostly because I'm a terrible driver, and have never ever had any issues. There's a first time for everything!
As a TGwoman that has been out to the world for 15 years,I suggest you take control of the narrative. Meet the guy for a coffee and a talk. Dress mainstream,exude confidence in your right to be you. Thank him for volunteering to be your publicity agent,but you would rather tell your own story. Ask him if he has questions or fearsand let him know that you aren't ready to come out,if that is in your future. And let him know that he is trusted in your inner circle or you wouldn't be there. I bet he will shut up if that is what you wish...
It SURE is my hair ! I have the receipt and the box it came in !
.....and be wary of his hand on your knee!
I think I would still refer you to my previous answer. He has shown himself to be untrustworthy and immature. Take control. I would not go along with his voyeurism.
Last edited by JennyMay; 01-14-2021 at 05:35 AM.
Candace,
Please, PLEASE - tell me that this isn't your real drivers' license number!
That isn't something you should be sharing with the world at large.
And to Monica:
I'm sorry, but if it were me, I'd tell #1 that he has shown himself to be un-trustworthy and he's going to have to earn back the friendship that he's damaged so badly. Then see what happens...
About the son, I'm not sure, but I think a "you should know about this" letter to his superiors might be in order.
Since he's new to the force, now is the time to set him straight. He needs to know that this is not OK.
Last edited by SaraLin; 01-14-2021 at 06:14 AM.
I really like the way You (Megan4Now) advised. Be ready to turn the table.
And I have had a few barflies try to hit on me. They, like myself, were near "Older than the Hills" age. grin
Last edited by Leslie Mary S; 01-14-2021 at 06:44 AM.
Thank you all for the feedback, suggestions and laughs. I ❤️ you!
Just another note, while the son telling the story to dad was not very cool, it's to be expected. A police officer is not a priest or a doctor, and is not bound to a code of secrecy in their dealings with the public. They gossip as much, if not more than, anyone else. Going to the department is likely to not do anything. He treated you professionally in the field. Even if the department is large enough to have an LBGTQ liaison officer, this is a mild bending of conduct rules at best.
I would just leave it alone for now, and just ask friend #1 if he and the son just forget about the incident for the sake of the friendship.
Candace, I didn't know Rory was still doing the license thing. I always thought that would be cool, and that it should be two sided. I hope the number on there is not you DL #. You need to redact that, as that is a very dangerous sec ops foul.
Monica
You know what is kind of funny. If some of these clowns like friend number one got to hang out with some of the very pretty young women who I have been with just by being dressed up, they would probably be saying this - give me some lipstick honey.
And I am not joking , but it is funny.
Sandi
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