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Thread: Told a Friend

  1. #1
    Feminaut Julie MA's Avatar
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    Told a Friend

    For the first time, I told a woman friend that I am somewhat trans, and crossdress. I have told, or shown, others who are not in my real world sphere. That is, friends I have met at LGBTQ+ venues, or friends from on line. But this was the first friend, beyond my wife, that now knows. She was very supportive, saying we are all a little trans, as we all have both male and female hormones in our bodies. She wondered how my wife (not a fan) and kids (don't know; I am in no rush to share it with 17, 15, and 12 year olds) took it. Then she made a great comment, that perhaps the kids will learn from it, that we all have differences which make us special. I like that. She also mentioned how mean some can be to those who embrace their own, especially unconventional, nature. True. We have been friends for 37+ years and I have never felt closer to her.

    Sharing to show that letting true friends know can be a positive experience. The more we embrace ourselves, the more the world may embrace us. It will take time.

    Julie
    Inside my heart is breaking
    My make-up may be flaking
    But my smile still stays on

  2. #2
    Silver Member Geena75's Avatar
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    That is truly wonderful. It's good if you can have someone to talk to outside the household.

  3. #3
    Junior Member Janet Devon's Avatar
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    Julie,
    I wish I had the guts to tell others. My wife knows and so does my ex. My adult son may know but we don't discuss it. Outside of these three, no one that I am aware of. No guts, no glory.

  4. #4
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    I find that I feel better when I have told someone, even if they are not pleased. The reaction I get is usually positive which builds confidence. Don't worry about the younger ones my grandchildren, 19 and twelve were very much OK.

  5. #5
    I can only be me Samm's Avatar
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    Well done, Julie. Although my wife is supportive, she doesn't want our friends and family knowing. Im ok with that. It doesn't stop me from making new friends.

  6. #6
    Feminaut Julie MA's Avatar
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    I have to add that this friend is not known to any of my other friends. So I am not as courageous as it may seem. It's a start.
    Inside my heart is breaking
    My make-up may be flaking
    But my smile still stays on

  7. #7
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    Once you tell someone you lose control of the narrative. There can be unintended consequences that effect husband and wife. It's a tough personal choice to 'out' oneself.

  8. #8
    love to hear from u missynicole's Avatar
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    So happy for you!! I tried that with man I thought was an understanding friend only to find out he wasn't. He told me to get counseling and stay away from him. All I want is someone to talk too.

  9. #9
    Member Rosemary+'s Avatar
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    Thanks for sharing Julie, I have taken it on board

  10. #10
    Sarah Adams Vintage4sarah's Avatar
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    Good for you Julie for finding a true friend to share your inner self with. She could also be a good resource in the future who you can bounce ideas off of and ask for help about feminine feelings. I have been also lucky with this in a different way and their thoughts and suggestions have been helpful in molding Sarah.
    Sarah Adams, mature girl from NH. My photos are on Flickr under vintage4sarah !

  11. #11
    Member Alexis00's Avatar
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    Julie that is awesome!

    Summer 2019 I reconnected with an old GF as she was visiting MA. When we caught up I filled her in on my TG side. She was a little surprised, but non judgmental.

    We reconnected resecrntly as she may visit again and I explained my post-Covid “pink haze.” She’s started researching CD and TG on her own has been actively supportive. We’ve been talking by phone once a week and it’s been great.

  12. #12
    Princess Candice candykowal's Avatar
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    It is nice to hear your spouse is supporting you, so you can open up about your desires and needs and that you are willing to be open with people in your social circles.
    It is evident you do not have any selfish concerns about hurting anyone of your loved ones feelings.... that is the part, a lot of us, worry about.
    We all know our own personnel situations and I do applaud your spouse. As you mentioned, she is an Angel!
    You are so blessed...and that is so nice to hear! Life is so short, living it on your own terms...."PRICELESS!"
    Candice Coleen Kowal ....all my friends call me Candy!

  13. #13
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    Hi Julie , That is Fantastic, >Orchid**OO**
    Having my ears triple pierced is AWESOME, ~~......

    I can explain it to you, But I can't comprehend it for you !

    If at first you don't succeed, Then Skydiving isn't for you.

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  14. #14
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    Julie,

    Congrats to you for disclosing your true identity with your GG friend. Also, your friend's acceptance was fantastic. The world needs more open minded people like her.

    When I disclosed my identity to a GG work colleague she didn't bat an eyebrow. Her non-reaction was kind of liberating to me. Did you experience anything similar?

  15. #15
    Feminaut Julie MA's Avatar
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    Candy, I think you have my spouse confused with someone else's. Mine is not supportive. Wants it all "to just end", said she "might not have married me if she knew then". And I do care about worrying my kids, at their young ages. I don't want their perspective of me clouded at this point. And I don't want them burdened with a secret they can't safely share with their friends, or enemies.

    DMichelle, My GG friend was very accepting. More concerned with how my kids and the world would understand, and react. It was more comforting, versus liberating, to let a friend know.
    Inside my heart is breaking
    My make-up may be flaking
    But my smile still stays on

  16. #16
    Princess Candice candykowal's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Julie MA View Post
    Candy, I think you have my spouse confused with someone else's. .....My GG friend was very accepting.....
    Ah, I read it wrong...got late that night I was perusing the forum....Got it.
    Yes, Having a genetic girl who is a friend, that knows your secret, and is supportive, is very comforting!
    I have a few GG's in my circle who know and actually gift me small tokens of girly things, perfume, pixie dust, costume jewelry....and that's pretty cool.
    Candice Coleen Kowal ....all my friends call me Candy!

  17. #17
    Gold Member Sometimes Steffi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Julie MA View Post
    Candy, I think you have my spouse confused with someone else's. Mine is not supportive. Wants it all "to just end", said she "might not have married me if she knew then".
    Julie

    My wife made the same comments.

    It's really disconcerting. I make a good living, I don't drink (to excess), I don't do drugs, I don't cheat on her and I don't abuse her physically or mentally. I don't hang out with the guys and I haven't made her a "golf widow". Yet, crossdressing is worse than all of the previous.
    Hi, I'm Steffi and I'm a crossdresser... And I accept and celebrate both sides of me. Or, maybe I'm gender fluid.

  18. #18
    Claire M Claire M's Avatar
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    [QUOTE][/Candy, I think you have my spouse confused with someone else's. Mine is not supportive. Wants it all "to just end", said she "might not have married me if she knew then".

    Julie, thats awesome that you were able to come out and be accepted by your friend. It sounds like many of us live very compartmentalized lives where the male life and CD life have no crossovers.

    Your later comment about your wife sounds so familiar. Mine said the same once in one of our less cordial discussions. She thought the only reason i stayed married to her was so she would keep my secret which is SO not the case. I told her i didnt care if she told anyone or everyone if it meant staying with her and clearing thecair between us. As i told her .... sometimes i wish everyone knew this about me. My life would be so much easier if everything were out in the open.

  19. #19
    Feminaut Julie MA's Avatar
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    Steffi, Snowy,

    We are living parallel lives. I wish she was understanding and supportive. She claims to be accepting of every liberal lifestyle and person on Earth, except me. And i really don't care who knows about me. I would feel fully free if they all did. I do worry about the impact on my kids though.

    Julie
    Inside my heart is breaking
    My make-up may be flaking
    But my smile still stays on

  20. #20
    Platinum Member Crissy 107's Avatar
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    Julie, It is not unusual for our wives to be ok about crossdressing with everyone else except the one she is married to.
    Crissy

  21. #21
    Silver Member Rogina B's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Julie MA View Post
    And i really don't care who knows about me. I would feel fully free if they all did. I do worry about the impact on my kids though.

    Julie
    Just remember that you have helped shape those kids....Acceptance is taught and that goes with accepting an "interesting" father.
    It SURE is my hair ! I have the receipt and the box it came in !

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