Finally a Positive Story about Crossdressing!

[darla_g]

So just out of interesting i get a newsfeed from Google about crossdressing. Many days it is quite appalling like some guy who dresses up as a women to rob a bank or something.

Today I got a real treat, there is a syndicated Dear Abby story which actually comes off as helpful and supportive. So i thought i would share as it sounds oh so familiar.

Dear Abby: My husband and I have been together for 11 years, married for eight. We have been through a lot together, which has served to strengthen our marriage. My husband is my Prince Charming and my happily forever after.

Recently, he has discovered that he likes wearing women's clothes. It started with him wearing women's underwear under his clothes, which didn't bother me. I even bought him a few pair I liked. It has progressed quickly.

He assures me that he isn't gay, he does not want to become a woman or want to dress in women's clothes full time. However, some of his behaviors have changed, and his wearing women's clothing has increased. When I tried discussing my concerns with him, he said I was being irrational. We fought, and I thought we had worked some things out, but he still has an attitude.

I'm terrified that this is the beginning of the end of my marriage, and I don't want to lose him. But I also don't know just how much of this I can accept or how far he wants to go. He says if I can't accept it, he will stop doing it. But we will both know that he has that desire, and I don't want to stifle something that seems to mean so much to him. I have no one I can talk to about this, Abby. Please help. ? Struggling In Florida

Dear Struggling: Take the opportunity to learn all you can about cross-dressing. More men than you may think engage in it, and the majority are heterosexual. An excellent support group for cross-dressers and wives of men who need (not "LIKE") to cross-dress is The Society for the Second Self (Tri Ess). Its website is tri-ess.org. Go there and you will find the support and answers you're looking for. Keep the lines of communication with your husband open and honest. Only the two of you can determine how to navigate through this. For many couples, it's not necessarily a deal-breaker.


I contrast that with a treasure trove i found of all Dear Abby columns i came across from the 60s. So yes there may be improvement

[Stephanie47]

Over the years Dear Abby has commented many times about cross dressing; answering the queries of a wife and a husband. "Google" "cross dressing (ers) + Dear Abby" and many will pop up.

[Sometimes Steffi]

I cut out a "Dear Abby" column years ago that was favorable towards crossdressers and have seen others since then.

I assume you know that you are reading "Dear Abby II". The original "Abby" died years ago, and her daughter decided to take over.

[MonicaPVD]

In this modern era of woke-ness, it makes sense that any advice column would speak favorably about crossdressing. Thank goodness for that.

[Natalie5004]

Thanks for the Dear Abby story. I will have the letter ready next time my wife and I have a tiff about it.

Natalie

[Alexis00]

In this modern era of woke-ness, it makes sense that any advice column would speak favorably about crossdressing. Thank goodness for that.

Two sisters, friends of mine, were all about transgender expression - until I started dating their brother. Then it got a different name....

[candykowal]

I use to regularly read Dear Abby for advice and to read up on relationships, we got the newpaper everyday.
She made me understand how a lot of people think, manipulate others, and how I should be more in tune in the way I interact with others, in a positive light.
I remember one reader wrote (I did finally find the article on the internet): My aunt desperately wanted a baby girl, but to her disappointment, she had a baby boy. She kept that kid in frilly dresses with ruffles and his hair long and in curls. Of course, the rest of the family accepted his mother's "eccentricities," and no one ridiculed or poked fun at him. If a pink blanket is the worst thing that kid ever has to contend with in his life, they should all be grateful. Dear Abby wrote, I agree-- as did many readers who responded to that letter.
DEAR ABBY: All a baby is concerned about is having a full tummy, a clean diaper and something interesting to do when he's awake. Pink for girls and blue for boys is not some kind of biological imperative.
DEAR ABBY: You might be interested to know that pink didn't start out as a "feminine" color. In the Middle Ages, the color red was for men because it represented strength, war, fire and blood. The color blue was for women back then. (Blue represented harmony, peace, sky and water.)
DEAR ABBY: In the 19th and 20th centuries, baby clothes were all white. If they had any color trimming, pink was used for boys and blue for girls. The Ladies Home Journal in 1918 said: "There has been a great diversity of opinion on the subject, but the general accepted rule is pink for the boy and blue for the girl. Pink, being a more decided and stronger color, is more suitable for the boy, while blue, which is more delicate and dainty, is prettier for the girl."

I still think that letter to Dear Abby was wrote by one of my female older cousins as they use to babysit for me when my parents went out.
I had a lot of things in my room a girl would have including a vanity, pink record player, doilies and perfume bottles on my dresser, lace curtains, and powder blue walls.
My comforter on my bed had flowers and Barbies and accessories all over my room.
I cut that article out of the paper and kept it on my mirror for a long time. Like a affirmation for me as I wasn't alone.

[Leslie Langford]

Abigail Van Buren, the original "Dear Abby", was always sympathetic and open-minded towards crossdressers, and that goes back even to the 1960's (shocking, for the times, I know!) when I was still a teenager and began reading her advice column. I always looked forward to the letters regarding crossdressing which would appear in her column from time to time as the years passed, and I could always count on a favorable response from Abby. Call it a form of validation for me in those dark days of being deeply closeted, and when there was precious little information out there regarding our predilection. And what information there was, well, it was was generally hostile and dismissive and put us in the same league as sexual deviants and pedophiles. On the other hand, alcoholism and smoking were highly acceptable - a sign of sophistication, actually - (Exhibit #1: Dean Martin on television singing and bantering with the audience while holding a cigarette in one hand and a highball in the other...but I digress). Go figure.

Interestingly enough, Abby's twin sister Ann Landers - who had a competing advice column - was quite dismissive of "transvestites" in her early days, issuing such gems as "Just hit 'em with your purse, dearie..." to one crossdresser who tried to explain his affinity for crossdressing and was concerned about negative public reactions to it. In fairness, though, Ann eventually saw the light and issued a public apology in a later column. She went on to say that she had educated herself on the topic after having received much backlash for her previous comments and after speaking with experts, and now realized that her past negative views on the topic were misguided and wrong.

[Tania]

Interesting. This thread brought back memories. It was shortly after we were married, and it was a “Dear Abby” column on the subject, that lead to my admission about my dressing to my wife. That was 33 years ago. My how time flies! It was of the few positive things on the subject available at that time.

[Micki_Finn]

Sounds like a pretty typical crossdresser going too far too fast. How many posts have we seen here where the community has to tell someone to take it slow? Abbey’s response does bother me a bit because she doesn’t address any responsibility on the husbands part, and basically tells the wife to learn to live with it.

[Darla L]

I like your post, Micki.

I have a wonderful wife. She accepts this part of me, but I can sense when it is too much. It is too easy to overwhelm our wives. They want the man they married most of the time. The burden shouldn’t be on them, it is on us.

[Natalie5004]

I agree Darla.

[Maria 60]

I agree it should be on us, I sometimes think back at the road me and my wife drove to get here. Thinking back now I was at times very aggressive when I wanted to take another step. I seen at times she was getting upset or frustrated and I found that when I would pull back she would calm down. My aggression was pushing her away, instead she wanted a open communication between us and didn't mind the advancements she just wanted it at her pace and to just swollow and digest it. The new generation crossdressers will have alittle easier time because times have changed, but I have to give my wife a lot of credit because she was watching her husband take a road that she didn't know where it was leading with no lights and only darkness because we really had nobody to talk to or educate. Now with the Internet and more things out in the open it is much easier now, but still not that easy.

[jenabrooks]

This a little off the subject my wife?s grandmother went to barn dances with the Lander's sisters where Lawrence Welk played in Iowa. This was when he first playing an accordion at barn dances.

[docrobbysherry]

Unfortunately, both Dear Abby and TriEss r dated. As Micki pointed out!

[michelleddg]

These are from the early 70's, so late high school for me. Both have strongly stuck with me my entire adult life. I had few clues what was going on other than I too wanted to get dolled up and go to town. Hugs, Michelle

[Leslie Langford]

One of my all-time faves...methinks For Better of For Worse cartoonist Lynn Johnston "gets' it....

Oh, and did I mention that she is a fellow Canadian? Sorry that we inflicted Justin Bieber on the world, though...

[michelleddg]

Good one, Leslie. I've seen this one before, can't recall if it was in the paper or on the net. I think it's too realistic to not have been based on a real life experience.

I've also seen Jimmy Olson, Dagwood, Archie and Dick Tracy villains dolled up. The Dick Tracy villain wore button-activated periscope heels in his shoes so he could change on the fly. Freaked me out. Hugs, Michelle

[Beverley Sims]

Definitely more insight and information available now, more than even 20 years ago.

[kellyanne]

Thank goodness for the openminded woman who accepts others as they are.

I dated who I thought was the most open minded and liberal woman in the world in university - but she made it clear she would never accept any " role reversal" when I tested the waters.