What if your "fetish" is simply an obsession? Explain, please!

[docrobbysherry]

Recent threads dealt with sexual content involved in some folks dressing. Rather than argue about whether your 100+ panty, bra, whatever, collection is a fetish or not? Let's agree it's an obsession, OK? Now that we've removed the dreaded "sexual content" from your hobby, maybe we can find out your motivation?

My excuse is obvious. Not only is Sherry a female with a 1000 faces and figures? I have an army of mannikins who need to be clothed around her!
But, most of u can't claim those excuses!


So, maybe you'll share with us WHY u need 150+ shoes and 100+ nities, etc?

[Lydianne]

" . . . and I looked, and behold, a dead horse . . . "




It's actually really simple. There are two parts to this:


1. The first is that you need to comprehend that people can be different. Some people can be fetishists and others can be non-fetishists.


2. The second part is that on this site, the more vociferous non-fetishists overtly distance themselves from the fetishists. Not entirely unlike how this person did:

Let me be clear: This is NOT a pantie and bra thread! If those r your fetishes? Please DON'T COMMENT!

https://www.crossdressers.com/forums...=1#post4439299

So those people ( and, actually, anybody other than full femme ) no longer feel(s) welcome here, and new ones know not to sign up here.

There's a 1000 other threads for u to post on!

Not anymore . You miss them now, no? .



So they're all gone. You stuck around, but you're clearly struggling to maintain your footing - hence your dwelling upon this.


And that's it.

..until the next time you write the same question.

- L.

[Deborah G]

This is an interesting quandary! I have over 200 pairs of women's shoes...why?, and a large number of lingerie and women's day wear? I am establishing my en-femme self, why the excessive show of who I really am? I know it completes me, makes me whole, and not a sham.

[Cheryl T]

Why does any woman need many pair of shoes?
For different occasions and different looks of course.
Men wear maybe 3 or 4 different pair because they want black and brown and maybe a loafer and a wing tip for a change with a particular suit.

Remember, in the animal kingdom it's the male that fluffs and shows off to find a mate. In Human society it's the opposite. It's the female who decorates herself with bright colors, makeup, different outfits to show off. Some to attract a mate and others just because. Personally I love that I can change my look to suit my mood and adorn myself with pretty colors, sparkling jewelry and clothing that reflects how I feel that day. No, I don't have hundreds of shoes or dresses or anything, but I certainly could.
It's not an obsession or a fetish for me anymore than a mechanic having one more tool in his toolbox.

[docrobbysherry]

Must disagree, Cheryl, as I was married and dated a number of women well enuff to know what their closets looked like!

Not one instance of 150 shoes or 100 undies or bras in the lot!

[cindylouho]

You haven't met my wife Doc, well over 200 pairs of shoes... and most of them fit me!

[Stephanie47]

Perhaps, neither fetish nor obsession is the proper word to express what many feel. I have always encouraged expression in complete sentence and paragraphs rather than one word answers. Is it possible to have a "hobby" within the context of acquiring femme garments? Certainly men and women "collect" things; stamps, coins, glassware, etc. Some women "collect" vintage attire. Some guys "collect" basketball/athletic shoes. A therapist I see for war related PTSD issues uses the term "retail therapy." Perhaps there is some void in a person's life that is satisfied by "collecting" something that brings joy. My relationship with my wife is a deep DADT. I called it the ostrich effect. Stick head in the ground and it all goes away. For her, not me. In order to keep "my head in the game" I come to this site. I also fill my needs by "collecting" some femme garments. I have stopped acquiring my first love; full slips. I have exhausted the marketplace. It was fun. The hunt was fun. It filled a void. Now? I "collect" three styles of my favorite Vanity Fair panties. I certainly will never wear them all. Totally impossible. I enjoy the hunt. Is it any difference if I collecting something more traditional: stamps, coins, tea cups? I believe if I was able to freely dress as I felt on any given day I would still acquire lingerie. As far back as I could remember I liked vibrant colors. As a kid I enjoyed drawing. As an adult I like growing flowers for their colorful beauty. In my male business world I shunned the classic white shirt and red tie. All those politicians lined up at the US Capitol all wearing blah stuff is hysterically funny to me. My sole white shirt has turned yellow. I my business attire consisted of colored shirts of the spectrum and ties which included designs and some cartoon figures.

And, yes, women (GG's and transwomen) may acquire too many garments of a specific type for a multitude of reasons. So do I. Fetish? No. Obsession? No. Compulsive disorder? No. It's something else.

[Kimberly A.]

Ok, I'll bite. LOL..... My fetish, (or obsession) is not shoes, bras, dresses, nighties, or panties..... It's pantyhose! I have probably well over 100 pairs of pantyhose and tights. So, THERE ya have it! Now, I could go into more intimate detail about it, but I'm sure that's not allowed on this forum. Hehehe

[Pumped]

Must disagree, Cheryl, as I was married and dated a number of women well enuff to know what their closets looked like!

Not one instance of 150 shoes or 100 undies or bras in the lot!

My wife has a ton of shoes, probably not 100 pairs, but certainly over 50, and perhaps 75 pairs. Bras? Maybe 20. Not crazy about bras, she doesn't understand my interest in them. They just hold up boobs!

[Ressie]

I finally came to the point of not hardly ever wearing men's undies anymore. I'm probably obsessed with panties because there are so many different styles. I love the sexy ones but they lack comfort for everyday undies. So I have enough of the comfortable kind for the latter and way too many of the former.

I have a few CD friends that are obsessed with dresses. Like they can't be seen in the same dress twice? And their closets are filled to the brim! We get obsessed because we can!

[docrobbysherry]

I don't agree, Ressie. Not being seen in the same dress and having 200 panties r apples and dinosaurs! No one sees your panties after all.

[sometimes_miss]

There is a tendency to want to believe that we are just like others, so we can feel at least a little 'normal'. So we project our own feelings onto them. Hence, someone who has a crossdressing fetish, wants to believe that it's a fetish for all the rest of us, too. Same with those for whom it's due to OCD.
It's neither for me. For a long time, I wondered how many others might have been conditioned into it when very young; over the years I've only found a few.

Maybe the hardest thing to accept, is that it can have an assortment of causes. It seems so many are searching for the ONE, TRUE cause, and won't be happy until they find it.
I feel good shopping and buying girl stuff, because I know it's something that girls do, so it helps relieve the GID, same as dressing up does. For me, at least, there is no sexual excitement connected to dressing up as a girl, and as OCD treatment hasn't been successfully used to get a crossdresser to stop crossdressing, it's probably not an obsession, either.
My own take, is that at some point, for whatever reason, we start to self identify as female, and all the things we do, are an effort to control the GID, and the general discomfort it causes in us.

[Cheryl T]

I'm disagreeing also Doc.
Recently went to the house of a long time friend and former co-worker of my wife to help her with a little home repair. It was our first time in her home so I got the grand tour. When she showed us the closets in the bedroom (walk-ins) I just stared. Piled floor to ceiling in one was nothing but shoes in their original boxes. As I stood there she said she's been downsizing, giving some away and selling others on Ebay and Poshmark as she's considering moving when she retires in the near future. There were at least 100 pair.
Then she showed us the other ... OMG, not as many but still ! And there were more in the hall closet. I started calling her Imelda.

My wife isn't that way, but she still has 20+ pair (almost as many as me).

[kimdl93]

It seems to me that we needlessly shy away from terms that imply some sort of pathological component to cross dressing or even gender identity. Over on another subforum, there is a discussion of possible links between autisim and gender variance.

I know I at times think that if my gender identity is a product, at least in part, of some related behavioral health issue, that somehow invalidates me, or well, just means all these years and mixed emotions are reduced to a diagnosis. That unwillingness to acknowledge a thing that suggests any link a mental health problem probably says something about the stigma we still attach to mental illness.

[Alice Torn]

SM. I totally agree with your post. I will always be in conflict with it all.

[Lori Ann Westlake]

I don't have "hundreds" of anything, but there are plenty of reasons for having a lot of anything, chiefly due to variations in color and style.

I have a number of bras, including strapless bras to wear with certain dresses, and longline bras for that different sensation of feeling more "enclosed" in the bra. Naturally they also come in different colors: black and white at the minimum.

Then there are slips in numerous different lengths to wear with different skirts, ranging from 14", 16", and so on up to 28"--and once again in different colors, which multiply up.

I have a lot of shoes: not "hundreds" but there must be two or three dozen. This is partly because I've bought a lot over the years in an attempt to find some that are comfortable enough to wear all day without pinching and cramping.

Most of all I have dozens of skirts and dresses and especially blouses and tops for the obvious reason: there are so many attractive variations in color, pattern, fabric and style. Besides, over a lifetime of crossdressing--several decades anyway--the numbers add up!

[Ressie]

I don't agree, Ressie...No one sees your panties after all.

No one? Speak for yourself!

[docrobbysherry]

I was, Ressie!

I don't show my panties to strangers when I'm out and about. Do u? If so, where and why?

[Judy-Somthing]

I don't need a large stash.

I do need something new each time I dress or I find it hard to get in the mood!

Usually it's a dress but, a new wig, shoes, or a new makeup idea will work.

I use to love undergarments but not I like them just to make my shape look good in a dress.

[Rachelakld]

I wish I could afford to have a fetish, does 3 pairs of shoes, 3 bras and 5 undies count?

I've always wanted a Latex fetish but after 56 years I still don't own anything Latex (not even kitchen dish gloves, which I should buy as dish wash is wrecking my hands).

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Sherry , 160+ pairs of shoes and a wardrobe of clothes that would support at least a Dozen Women,

It's just who I am and it is what I can afford and love doing, >Orchid **00**