Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 25 of 69

Thread: Purging then Returning

  1. #1
    Junior Member Mackem Sue's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2019
    Location
    North East England
    Posts
    74

    Purging then Returning

    So here I am again. I'm sitting here fully dressed up, black dress, satin slip, padded bra (giving the appearance of breasts under the dress), panties, heels, stockings, suspenders, wig (red hair with glasses is actually quite fetching), etc. after a year out of the game.

    Before the purge, I'd accepted it was part of me and it was nice to dress up when no-one was around. I'd tried to stop, but it always came back and once I accepted it I began to really enjoy it. However, a family tragedy made me think I had to get my act together and I purged. Everything I had hidden away ended up in charity boxes.

    Your mind can work ten to the dozen during lockdown, which I'm under again. For a while the grief seemed to keep the urge at bay, but slowly it came back. The last few weeks, the urge became overwhelming and in one fell swoop, I bought two entire outfits via Amazon plus a red haired wig. All that gear arrived today.

    The plan was to go for a jog then change into girl mode once I got back. A mate rang just as I was ready to get dressed, delaying me for an hour when, being honest with myself, I was really looking forward to it.

    So finally the phone call finished. After laddering one stocking I finally got dressed up. I've thoroughly enjoyed it and it's clear it's with me for keeps. I live alone at the moment, so it's clear more often than not than I'm going to dress up on an evening when I get home for a girly few hours and I guess the slips double as night dresses.

    I don't know how I got the idea of the two padded bras giving a breast effect but they works quite well without needing breast-forms, which I'm not keen on. And I've chosen well with the two dresses, especially a black one where the fabric is quite soft.

    My one mistake is the high heels I bought are a size too small. However, I reckon I can probably slightly stretch these to fit better and I've seen advice elsewhere on the forum. Next payday, I might obtain a larger pair. I guess a couple of skirt / top combos might come too.

    So here I am again. Purging doesn't work, end of.

    All of a sudden, lock-down evenings are a much more pleasant prospect.


    Sue.

  2. #2
    Miss Conception Karren Hutton's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    South Western PA
    Posts
    23,249
    Welcome back! I know women who wear multiple bras to enhance their breast appearance. Lol.

  3. #3
    The Anima Corrupt Wen4cd's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Location
    Outer Trannysylvania
    Posts
    948
    Purging is one thing I've never experienced in 40 years of dressing. I recently dug out the first blouse I ever tried on in the attic when I began, and have begun using it as a night shirt.

  4. #4
    I can only be me Samm's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Location
    Massachusetts
    Posts
    926
    I've purged before... twice. Both times thinking I didn't need it anymore. But it always comes back.
    I realized, way back then, that we can purge the clothes, but we can never purge that which is a part of us. It's who we are.
    Now when I purge, it's to make room for new things. I only have so much closet space....
    "Samm" Sammara Michaels

    I also speak fluent sarcasm

  5. #5
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    Lowestoft UK. Beverley was here.
    Posts
    30,880
    Don't purge and get used to bras with silicone inserted in the cups. :-)
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  6. #6
    Princess Candice candykowal's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Location
    Arlington Heights, Illinois
    Posts
    1,073
    Being disappointed about purging your feminine items and learning purging doesn't work is always a tough and costly lesson.
    I think we all have done it. You are not alone. Might not be the last time you purge either.
    We get to a point where we balance both sides and learn how to store those things for the future.
    Enjoy your femme time, it's a great way to de-stress and unplug from all the issues your male self tackles everyday!
    Candice Coleen Kowal ....all my friends call me Candy!

  7. #7
    Member Valerie Louise's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Location
    SE Wisconsin
    Posts
    131
    Yup. Purged several times before it hit me ... this is a stupid, costly thing to do, even if it does allow me to update a wardrobe.

  8. #8
    Fun Member Natalie5004's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2020
    Location
    Central California
    Posts
    1,017
    I like forms. Some bra's I have allow nipples to show through clothes. Very good look for me. I have not purchased a full pull over forms that some use here. I would like to see major cleavage on me. Made later.
    I need a wig first, I need long hair again.

    Never purge!!!!! Pack away and store it if needed. The urge will not go away forever. Especially if you go full out like I do. I can fully dress at least 2x a week at home.

  9. #9
    Junior Member lynn.crossdresser's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Location
    Southwest UK
    Posts
    61
    Maybe I should have purged a few times but I have never felt the need too.

    Unlike my male side my fem side is a bit of a hoarder and having just moved house its worst than I thought. I thought that moving house would be a good time to sort through all my feminine stuff and scale it down a bit, 36 skirts kept and 2 for the charity box lol, well at least I tried.







    Quote Originally Posted by Mackem Sue View Post
    So here I am again. I'm sitting here fully dressed up, black dress, satin slip, padded bra (giving the appearance of breasts under the dress), panties, heels, stockings, suspenders, wig (red hair with glasses is actually quite fetching), etc. after a year out of the game.

    Before the purge, I'd accepted it was part of me and it was nice to dress up when no-one was around. I'd tried to stop, but it always came back and once I accepted it I began to really enjoy it. However, a family tragedy made me think I had to get my act together and I purged. Everything I had hidden away ended up in charity boxes.

    Your mind can work ten to the dozen during lockdown, which I'm under again. For a while the grief seemed to keep the urge at bay, but slowly it came back. The last few weeks, the urge became overwhelming and in one fell swoop, I bought two entire outfits via Amazon plus a red haired wig. All that gear arrived today.

    The plan was to go for a jog then change into girl mode once I got back. A mate rang just as I was ready to get dressed, delaying me for an hour when, being honest with myself, I was really looking forward to it.

    So finally the phone call finished. After laddering one stocking I finally got dressed up. I've thoroughly enjoyed it and it's clear it's with me for keeps. I live alone at the moment, so it's clear more often than not than I'm going to dress up on an evening when I get home for a girly few hours and I guess the slips double as night dresses.

    I don't know how I got the idea of the two padded bras giving a breast effect but they works quite well without needing breast-forms, which I'm not keen on. And I've chosen well with the two dresses, especially a black one where the fabric is quite soft.

    My one mistake is the high heels I bought are a size too small. However, I reckon I can probably slightly stretch these to fit better and I've seen advice elsewhere on the forum. Next payday, I might obtain a larger pair. I guess a couple of skirt / top combos might come too.

    So here I am again. Purging doesn't work, end of.

    All of a sudden, lock-down evenings are a much more pleasant prospect.


    Sue.

  10. #10
    Member Shiny's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    205
    Over the years I have purged several times. I never had much stuff at first and purging was basically getting rid of old lingerie---torn straps, runs in stockings, worn out garter belts etc... But, my most prominent purge came after finishing college. I had a lock-box and my own apartment and when I graduated and had to move I didn't want the hassle of hauling all my stuff with me. The lawn bag was huge but ended up out on the boulevard with the other trash waiting for the ride to the dump. Only a few hundred bucks loss. But now I face the "final purge!"

    I am at the age where mentally, I am still the same but arthritis is creeping up. Can't move that well and high heels are gathering dust as I can't do the full 6 inch heel stilettos now. This is my big collection too. All the fancy dresses, blouses and skirts and lingerie and heels searched the world over and all my favorite vintage stuff and hard to find stockings too. I shuddered to calculate what I have spent to fill my spare closets over the years. Thousands of dollars, thousands! And a lot of the stuff I bought that didn't fit at being too small, etc... even with practice you make mistakes when ordering only by mail and how they fudge on women's sizes nowadays.

    But there's tons of stuff I will soon have to get rid of! Nobody lives forever and you can't take your stuff to the last round up you know. My final purge, when it comes will be a careful plan to rid myself of all my feminine accoutrimants either with a large "Goodwill" dump or a one by one item purge into the weekly garbage bag. Either way the plan is to rid myself of all my "hobby" stuff so when I ain't around anymore, nobody will be the wiser. Hopefully!

  11. #11
    Exploring NEPA now Cheryl T's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    NEPA
    Posts
    9,264
    I've purged, to my great regret.
    So many lovely things just thrown away in some attempt to deny who I truly am.
    There are many things I wish I still had. One in particular is a chocolate cowl neck dress with long sleeves. I felt so good in that dress.
    Funny too how that is the dress I wore in a picture I had taken. The picture the wife found and began my journey from the closet.
    Wear something pretty every day !

  12. #12
    Claire M Claire M's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    83
    When I first started fully dressing I would purge pretty regularly. I would dress then go through the emotional cycle of joy followed by fear of being caught, shame, disgust at myself then resolve that I didn't need to do this and would never do it again. Of course sometimes I would be out buying a new dress 2 weeks later!

    I went to a counselor who told me it was how I was wired and I should accept it. Being pre-internet days I was sure of 2 things ... the counselor was a quack, and I could definitely stop crossdressing on my own any time I wanted. Silly girl!!!

    I later came to accept and embrace this part of my life. Recently we moved cross country. Moving costs were very expensive so we downsized most of our belongings, including about 95% of my wardrobe and accessories. Guess it's time to start rebuilding???

  13. #13
    Aspiring Member MonicaPVD's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2018
    Location
    New England
    Posts
    638
    I purge once or twice a year and have come to accept it as part of what makes me tick. The only problem is that breast plates, nice shoes and wigs are expensive. Other than that, I don't mind renewing my wardrobe every 6-12 months. Thank goodness for fast fashion and thrift stores.

  14. #14
    Aspiring Member josie_S's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Northeast somewhere
    Posts
    555
    Oh the purge...Like snoqueen, I purged often when I first started, convinced I could be "cured" and would never need all that frilly stuff once I got a gf/started working out/got a new job/joined the army/moved to a new state...I was always looking for a reason to "quit" and purging was the logical result of "quitting." But I came to understand that I can't purge who I am, and like Monica said: wigs/forms/shoes are expensive! So I stopped. But I think about this beautiful A line skirt I got rid of all the time, among many other tops, dresses, shoes and so on that I wish I still had. Good luck to you and welcome back! But you're likely to find you never really left.

    Oh, and I'm sorry for your loss...

  15. #15
    Junior Member Mackem Sue's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2019
    Location
    North East England
    Posts
    74
    Quote Originally Posted by josie_S View Post
    Oh the purge...Like snoqueen, I purged often when I first started, convinced I could be "cured" and would never need all that frilly stuff once I got a gf/started working out/got a new job/joined the army/moved to a new state...I was always looking for a reason to "quit" and purging was the logical result of "quitting." But I came to understand that I can't purge who I am, and like Monica said: wigs/forms/shoes are expensive! So I stopped. But I think about this beautiful A line skirt I got rid of all the time, among many other tops, dresses, shoes and so on that I wish I still had. Good luck to you and welcome back! But you're likely to find you never really left.

    Oh, and I'm sorry for your loss...
    Thank you.

    The last year has certainly been hard. And that's just it. Grief masked my issues, but once that faded, everything just came back and I knew I had to make a decision.

    I never really did leave as its part of who I am. It's funny I can trace this back to trying on a pair of tights when I was 11 or 12, and it's evolved from there. I saw a meme somewhere that once you try it, there's no turning back.

    The last two evenings I've gone girly once I knew everything essential was done. That's a pattern that was developing before.

    The release in tension is palpable when I do and that I remember from before and I feel happier for it. I guess this is my new normal.

    One screw up with my buying the two outfits a few days ago. The heels I bought are too small. So they'll have to go back, but a new pair of the right size (and slightly lower heel I can manage to wear) are on their way. I've big feet.
    Last edited by Mackem Sue; 02-13-2021 at 08:56 PM.

  16. #16
    Gold Member Crissy 107's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2018
    Location
    Maryland, USA
    Posts
    7,226
    Every once in a while we have a thread on purging and it seems close to unanimous that it is a mistake to purge. There are different reasons but shame, disgust and feeling we can dump this part of our life are some. I have done it several times and was sure it was over. I suppressed it for many years but it just comes back and usually stronger then before.
    Crissy

  17. #17
    Junior Member Mackem Sue's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2019
    Location
    North East England
    Posts
    74
    I've just bought a leopard-print midi length dress (wearing it tonight) and seem to be sorting out the wig issue.

    So yes, I'm seemingly working out to be a bit more girly when I wish.

    "Yummy" is the best word to describe the feeling when properly dressed, than being bar the bra and heels (if incorrectly selected) the fabric in women's clothing seems so much nicer and fun to wear.

    Sue

  18. #18
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2021
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    56
    Sue

    All the best, i too have been down that road many times.

    Am trying to come to the final conclusion that it is in me and I?m trying to accept it. As the one unarguable fact is I love being dressed.

    Am trying to use this site and all those around to help me and share thoughts and experiences.

    Every time I?ve purged has been a fail, so trying to accept it (as never tried that one before)
    😃

  19. #19
    Junior Member Diane426's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2021
    Location
    So Cal.
    Posts
    67
    I purged one time and regretted it right after I did it. I don't know about any of you but I've learned that this clothing becomes a very important part of my life.

  20. #20
    New Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2021
    Posts
    21
    Once in a while I purge the women's clothes I never wear. I keep the things I like. It's been a long time since I felt bad or weird about cross dressing. I like a smooth body and dressing like a woman

  21. #21
    Miss Judy Judy-Somthing's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2015
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    2,951
    I remember back in the days after dressing, then thinking WTH am I doing.
    Then I would cut up everything so I couldn't change my mind.

    Well here I am at 63 thinking "will this ever end"?

    I'm dreading the day when my wife asks me if I'm still dressing, I think she's afraid to ask.
    "This is ME" I am not CRAZY, I'm just a GUY who likes dresses!
    Since allot of men dress up in woman's clothing that makes it a manly thing to do!
    Much more fun than fishing.
    I do construction like house building and I love CD-ing, what's the difference?

  22. #22
    Gold Member Alice Torn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    Midwest U.S.
    Posts
    7,351
    I am almost 67yo, arthritis hitting hard, have had many close calls on the roads recently, and so fortunate to be sucking air yet! I am single all my life, had to move 52 times, may, need to move again soon, too. If i get hurt badly, or very ill, no one to help me. I do not want my landlord to have to call my brother and sister to have to come here and find my stash!! If i die, not so bad, but i would never hear the end of it from my siblings, if they found out. I also have had severe inner conflict all my dressing time in life. A double life? Hiding? No girlfriends. I wish i had not been afflicted with this desire, and habit. I would have had more confidence, which is what women like most in a man. I failed. Also, because life is changing so utterly fast, and so much division, and uncertainty now, as never before in my lifetime. I am considering giving all my dresses, skirts, tops, and wigs, which are not that many, to a consignment shop, for sale. i only have ten dresses. last time i purged, i gave 8 boxes and bags to a charity store. Could have sold 25 dresses, many skirts, tops, shoes, but just gave them all away. Some women or Cd or TG has some very nice classy clothes form that purge. It will be very hard to part with the things again. I would like to destroy my 13,000 photos, and 80 videos too, and that will be even harder to part with!! But, i am old now, and fading some, and feel in my gut and bones, that terrible times we are now entering, when mere survival, will be the main issue. I want less things to be concerned with, and as difficult as it will be , for the part of me that loves it, I feel and think i need to say goodbye to this part of me, before i have a severe health problem, or injuries, or death. It is not going to be at all easy.
    IT TAKES A REAL DRESS TO WEAR A MAN.

  23. #23
    Junior Member Mackem Sue's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2019
    Location
    North East England
    Posts
    74
    It's to and fro at the moment. I have days I can't be bothered, others where I just want to be girly.

    It's funny how it comes on you in what can be fairly intense waves.

    Sue.

  24. #24
    Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2018
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    328
    Diane I agree clothing is a big part of my life. Even when I can?t dress it?s nice to look at the wardrobes full of clothes. Throwing it all away would be unthinkable.

  25. #25
    Member MiniRock's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2018
    Location
    Wien (Vienna)
    Posts
    227
    There are four things [physical] in my life that I miss when I don't have access to them. The first is a push bike. I don't use it that often but if I'm without one, for example it was stolen once, I just have to get another. The second is a leather jacket, which I've always been comfortable in since the first one I was bought by my mum in 1979. The next is my homebuilt aeroplane, which has been out of action for a couple of years now and is really starting to bug me. And finally I have a box of women's clothing under the bed. I don't put them on as often as some of you girls here - although there are no gf issues, shame issue or health issues to stop me. But I know they are there, enough that I can still put together a new combination and go out for a few hours when I get that irresistible urge. Not an enormous amount of money's worth but quite a bit I think, if I were to count up. And I know absolutely for sure that were I to get rid of them, I would immediately regret it and want to start replacing them. Which would take quite some time as most of the stuff is somehow mixable and matchable, it all fits well and has been collected over quite a lot of years now. So I won't do that. It can stay under the bed, rarely seen, where I always know it will be when I want it. As for my flying, I don't know if I'll ever manage to get that back.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  


Check out these other hot web properties:
Catholic Personals | Jewish Personals | Millionaire Personals | Unsigned Artists | Crossdressing Relationship
BBW Personals | Latino Personals | Black Personals | Crossdresser Chat | Crossdressing QA
Biker Personals | CD Relationship | Crossdressing Dating | FTM Relationship | Dating | TG Relationship


The crossdressing community is one that needs to stick together and continue to be there for each other for whatever one needs.
We are always trying to improve the forum to better serve the crossdresser in all of us.

Browse Crossdressers By State