Excellent, Jena.Originally Posted by jenabrooks
Excellent, Jena.
I have come to realize that there is no reason for me to quit something I am enjoying when it is not hurting anyone else. Although, I am divorced and live alone so much easier for me than others.
30 years later and have "quit" several times, slowed down a few,and been quite active quite a lot in recent years, after the feel of women's attire and being in public XD'd there's always a desire to get dressed up feminine style.. so nope don't think so..
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My wife knows as we have made several debuts on Halloween before our 4 kids and after they were a bit older, and I "missed"some eyeliner a couple times hoping to have a real conversation but when questioned it felt like an attack so I chickened out and could only say "it goes with the rest of the girly stuff"... I wore women's panties,shaved legs, women's pants and grew my hair long before we married and still to this day, also don't any longer hide the corsets,pantyhose,wigs,high heel boots and shoes dresses, skirts, bras etc so she definitely knows, she also knows I am kinda homophobic and definitely attracted to women... but still scared (?)to talk to her.. kinda hoped to get caught so I was put on the spot to have to talk.. I hear if so many of us that their wives are cool and even helpful in our hobby I long for that..
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EXACTLY!!! At 54 I don't really care who cares anymore.. my kids are ok with it and my wife and very few others know and I LOVE IT!! So who cares??!!!??
Ya almost always come back...even if it means loosing a marriage, home, money, and friends. I know I gamble everyday with this fact, but I come back.
I always wondered is it a artistic trait we all possess?
A lot of us can draw or paint, play a musical instrument, model railroads or make dioramas, woodwork, or make something from nothing. We imagine and engineer, modify and collect things.
Or maybe a stress reliever? So many of us were in the military or are responsible for a lot of workers of critical infrastructure.
For me, one thing is for sure...I always come back.
Candice Coleen Kowal
I do not think that there is any reliable statistical data relevant to the question. I also think that the question for me is totally unimportant. I want to lead my life based on my analysis, considerations and decisions. My life continues to expand and become more complete as a female, and I want only to incrementally move toward an even more pleasing circumstance.
Sad I know, but the only one I knew about developed altzheimers and forgot what all the dresses in his closet were for.
Yes, he just didn't do it anymore.
Work on your elegance,
and beauty will follow.
Sometimes our minds can repress urges subconsciously, to the point that we can go for years, not knowing that the desire has never actually gone away, only hidden in the back of our minds, out of consciousness. That was the case for me; when everything else was going okay, I didn't experience any urge to crossdress. That went on for about 10 years. I thought that either I had grown out of it, or 'beaten' it.
It was only when my life was seeming to go down the toilet, that the desire to crossdress came back with a vengeance, and I became short tempered, impatient with others as well as myself, and had incredibly strong feelings of a need to buy women's clothing and crossdress, and immerse myself in female specific activities again. My own thoughts are, that our minds work in a similar way to computers; we can multitask, but only to a point; when there are too many things going on, something has to give, and we 'crash', because there aren't enough resources to hold back the feelings of wanting to crossdress while doing so many other stressful things as well, and the crossdressing genie escapes from the bottle.
Once the stressful things are gone, the desire to crossdress can decrease, especially if life once again becomes loaded with pleasant things that keep our minds busy.
At least, that has been my experience. It don't think that it ever goes away entirely. But that does explain why some of us can go for years or decades, before the urge to crossdress comes to the forefront of our consciousness.
Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.
Personally speaking?
Yes, it goes away. And then it inevitably comes back!
Will it ever go away for the rest of my life?
Well, our time here on earth seems to pass by in the blink of an eye. Yet, it still lasts a lifetime... And hopefully that's a long time!
I have no idea what the future may hold -- even when I *think* I might.
Plenty of times & for various reasons I foolishly thought I had "licked" this thing for good, only for it to come roaring back somewhere down the road. Sometimes I tried forcing it (hint: purging doesn't work!). Other times life just took a different & unexpected path for a while due to outside forces. And other times, it just naturally (and temporarily) went away on its own.
However... It. Always. Returns.
For me, anyway.
What has changed, however, is how I "approach" it.
After much organic experimentation & deep navel-gazing over the years & decades, I learned to stopped fighting it, first & foremost. Kinda pointless, really. In fact, it's usually even to one's own detriment.
Also, when it hits? It's not like, "Well, okay... I guess I have to perform the same time-consuming routine & fully shave everything, dress really femmy, plus wear the wig & make-up & fake boobs & the whole 9-yards stuff. And photos! Don't forget all the selfies! Oh, and let's see if we can push the envelope even farther! Of course, as the session nears the end? Self-pleasure time!"
Yeah, all set with that, thanks.
These days? Throw on some clothes & guy-mode it. Oftentimes just chilling out at home, maybe run a few errands. Good enough for me. Usually.
No point in making this big production out of it -- every single time, at that.
Do I still get all dolled-up? Yeah, once in a while... When I have no choice not to, that is. That dysphoria can be a cruel bitch when she rears her ugly head!
Also, part of it for me, was simply getting a lot of this "out of my system" in the past. And I hate to use that phrase, but I suppose it's one many can understand. I've never really had a "bucket list," per se... More of simply played things by ear. And while I might not have done everything I may have wanted to experience at the time, I've already done a *lot* with all this.
Ah, to be young & stupid (and thin & pretty!) again. Had a pretty good run, truth be told. But, I've had my fill, thanks.
Anyway, I dunno. That's just me. Evolving & progressing? Doesn't necessarily mean you have to transition, or something, ya know. Sometimes just naturally toning & winding things down & enjoying a laid-back CD "semi-retirement" *is* evolution & progress.
Oh, and remember, kids: No one likes a quitter!
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