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Thread: Does it ever go away?

  1. #1
    Silver Member Sometimes Steffi's Avatar
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    Does it ever go away?

    The urge to crossdress, the desire. Does it ever go away?

    This question has been asked many times, and the almost uniform answer is that it never goes away.

    But, having some education and work experience, I can assuredly say that we can't make an assessment about whether or not it ever goes away.

    In statistics, this would be called a biased sample. What would the answer be if we asked all the members on this forum, past and present? There are many that have come and gone, Even if we eliminate all those members with less than 100 posts, and those who were only active members for a year, the currently posting members probably only constitute about 1% of the total members. That doesn't even count the guest that outnumber members sometime by 10 to 100 time the number of members. Furthermore, we are probably the members more likely to answer "yes" as opposed to those inactive members who may be more likely to answer "No".

    So if you think you can stop whenever you want, you're mostly right. Some 99% of the total numbers of members managed to stop coming here.

    And don't forget that all of the FtM members have moved on to another forum or been "cured".

    To put it in layman's terms, "We're preaching to the choir".
    Hi, I'm Steffi and I'm a crossdresser... And I accept and celebrate both sides of me. Or, maybe I'm gender fluid.

  2. #2
    Junior Member Stephanie_V's Avatar
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    I don't think it's accurate to analyze the membership patterns and come to a statistical conclusion to that question. There are too many variables that can be assigned to why someone would not be a die hard, everyday poster here.

    While a lot of us share a somewhat common past when it comes to crossdressing, we are also all unique in our own ways. I'm sure there are some who have packed up their girly things and never looked back. I'm also sure there are ppl here who cringe at the thought of never dressing again. I think as human beings, we all need answers about why things happen. We need to know why things happen. Especially when we are taught that certain things go against what we perceive as "normal" I know I do. I spent a long time trying to figure out what was going on with my life in order to make sense of things.

  3. #3
    Silver Member Micki_Finn's Avatar
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    A better analogy would be assessing divorce rates by interviewing married couples. If the only people you ask are people that are still married, then marriage never ends in divorce!

    But realistically, yes I have heard about people who have crossdressed then gave it up never to return. So yes it is possible. The more important question, as I mentioned in another thread, is WHY you want to quit.

  4. #4
    What a great life
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    I stoped for 4 years at one time but pink fog hit me and I'm back and it's going to be around for a while.

  5. #5
    Miss Conception Karren Hutton's Avatar
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    If I stop my medication, a short while later the urges will just fade away... It has in the past... but then again my brain tumor will start growing again.... So, pick your poison!!
    I reject your reality and substitute my own!:

  6. #6
    The Anima Corrupt Wen4cd's Avatar
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    My personal experience tells me that yes, it goes away, sometimes too often.

    Personal experience also tells me that when the urge to dress and express goes away, I am about to experience a nasty bout of depression.

    Sometimes I make myself get up and get dressed, sometimes we all have to will our way through life when the energy turns sour.
    And so we go, on with our lives...
    We know the Truth, but prefer Lies.
    Lies are simple, simple is Bliss.
    Why go against tradition, when we can admit defeat,
    Live in Decline, be the victim of our own design?

  7. #7
    Member Debs's Avatar
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    Yes does go away, but only for short stints, Ive done extreme sports all my life, but nothing, I mean nothing give me a rush like going out dressed in public and completely dressed upto the nines with stilletto heals on and smelling my perfume and feeling completely woman.

  8. #8
    Senior Member Jean 103's Avatar
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    Are you assuming because somebody no longer comes here that they are cured?

    I highly doubt that.

    I stopped coming here for a year because I just didn't have the time. Working full-time and a new boyfriend family and everything else good grief I didn't have time for all the stuff here. And I was dressing every day. Living in the real world.

    Also lots of them just move on as this site is pretty much stuck , it's kind of like groundhog's day.

    I'm not saying it's a bad thing I'm just pointing out the simple truth.

    And the simple truth with trans women is they tend to move on into society,and disappear, as this is their intention.

    Most people I run into, transgenders, don't know anything of this site. Which tells me the popularity of this site is very low. I found this out at the first diva Las Vegas event I attended.

  9. #9
    Aspiring Member DianeT's Avatar
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    I agree with Kim that only studies could give an answer. Not logging into this forum for years isn't proof that you stopped, but on the other hand, if you stopped, would you still log in here? So I could risk a statistics that 99.99% of the persons logging in here have never definitively quit, and some unknown share of the persons who haven't been logging in for years may have entirely quit. Asking the people here or making stats about active members has a huge bias.

  10. #10
    Gold Member Helen_Highwater's Avatar
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    I would suggest that stopping and losing the urge are not necessarily the same thing. It's quite possible that the will power to stop can overcome the desire to dress.

    There are many for whom life dictates their dressing and years can go by before they get the opportunity to dress.

  11. #11
    Junior Member Mackem Sue's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jean 103 View Post
    Are you assuming because somebody no longer comes here that they are cured?

    I highly doubt that.

    I stopped coming here for a year because I just didn't have the time. Working full-time and a new boyfriend family and everything else good grief I didn't have time for all the stuff here. And I was dressing every day. Living in the real world.

    Also lots of them just move on as this site is pretty much stuck , it's kind of like groundhog's day.

    I'm not saying it's a bad thing I'm just pointing out the simple truth.

    And the simple truth with trans women is they tend to move on into society,and disappear, as this is their intention.

    Most people I run into, transgenders, don't know anything of this site. Which tells me the popularity of this site is very low. I found this out at the first diva Las Vegas event I attended.
    I'm back after a year, life taking me away from it and that says it all really. The urge is strong at the moment and no doubt it will have it's ups and downs.

  12. #12
    Gold Member Crissy 107's Avatar
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    Funny, ask the members here about it going away and the answer would be no, of course not, we were born this way. Ask someone who joined and was here for whatever period of time and leaves and they may say yes they quit and not looked back. How do we find these people to be in our survey? Don’t worry, they will be back eventually.
    Crissy

  13. #13
    Member susanmichelle's Avatar
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    I doubt that?s a reason either. There have been spells when I wasn?t on here for a year or two myself. It?s not that I lost interest in dressing I had medical problems that prevented me from dressing for a bit. I have Crohn?s disease and had to have emergency surgery. Soon as I was well enough hello I?m back. Main reason I come here is all the fabulous girls we have here. They are older too like me and with age you have experience. They have many great topics covering everything under the sun. They have great advice and understanding plus compassion since most of us are the same yet quite different.

  14. #14
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    Steffi,
    If you have GD then it will never go away , all we can do is find ways of living with it .

    As for numbers active on the forum , lets not forget this is an open forum anyone can see so , many drop in as visitors because they are worrined to take the first step . I still recall when I accepted I was a crossdreser , after all those years in male mode wondering what my gut feeling meant .

    It's taken me time I have to accept some do treat it as a hobby , so they possibly have more control over their needs . All I can say to that is if it was just a hobby I wouldn't have put my wife and family through the heartbreak and anguish .

  15. #15
    Aspiring Member SaraLin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Micki_Finn View Post
    A better analogy would be assessing divorce rates by interviewing married couples. If the only people you ask are people that are still married, then marriage never ends in divorce!
    NOT SO!
    If I were interviewed, I'd have to say that I'm on my third marriage. That makes the odds of success at one in three.
    I'm pretty sure there are a lot of other married people who have been through divorces too, thus ensuring that the "never" conclusion wouldn't pop up.
    Now, with that sampling, you might draw the conclusion that 100% of them feel "it's worth it."

    But getting back to the "why" of people leaving this site, we can't even begin to conclude that their leaving means that they've stopped dressing.
    Maybe they got scared off by something they read.
    Maybe they don't need us any more and have found their happiness.
    Maybe they lost their password, had a system crash, or some other technical problem and never rebuilt.
    Maybe their SO's found out and added it to their "don't" list.
    Maybe just reading about it was boring to them.
    (as others have said) Maybe their lives are so busy that they just don't log in.
    ...
    And maybe they did quit.

    Without asking each person who isn't here any longer - why they aren't here any longer, we'll never know. It's risky to make any assumptions. The chances of being wrong are too high.
    Last edited by SaraLin; 02-14-2021 at 06:11 AM. Reason: clarity

  16. #16
    Platinum Member
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    Crossdressing is like the Mafia, You just can't quit and walk away from it,
    Having my ears triple pierced is AWESOME, ~~......

    I can explain it to you, But I can't comprehend it for you !

    If at first you don't succeed, Then Skydiving isn't for you.

    Be careful what you wish for, Once you ring a bell , you just can't Un-Ring it !! !!

  17. #17
    Rural T Girl Teri Ray's Avatar
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    I figure it depends on why you started. If mild curiosity got you started then possibly you might find that you tried it and it might not be something that you want or need to continue. I recall the confluence of feelings I had when I first wore female attire. I felt excited, calm, happy and sensual and at the same time, or shortly after I felt shame and fear. The confluence of feelings for me was always around at the beginning. These conflicting feelings caused me to mentally set aside my desire dress for a while, life, family and responsibility were my priorities but lurking in the background always was the feeling of "how nice it would be to dress". I lived with the desire and disgust of my desires most of my life, until finally I accepted that "why" I had this intense desire to crossdress was a question I would never find an answer to, and frankly did not need to understand. Letting go and accepting my desire was huge for me. Next having my desires revealed to my wife and finding the world did not end was a great blessing. So making a simple opinion much longer than it needs to be I figure the answer to the question "Does the urge to crossdress, the desire. Does it ever go away?" My answer is .............depends on why you started in the first place. For me the answer is no, your mileage may vary.
    Teri Ray Rural Idaho Girl.

  18. #18
    Senior Member NancySue's Avatar
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    For me the complete answer is a very simple NO and I don?t want it to go away. I?ve enjoyed dressing since the proverbial get-go. Enjoy life.

  19. #19
    Sort of a n00b Pixie_94's Avatar
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    Part of may have wished this was right, it may have been for a month or so after a thread I started, that got deleted. Yet after that while, what some call the "Pink fog" hit like a truck, just no ways to do anything about it.

  20. #20
    Gold Member alwayshave's Avatar
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    I'm at the point where I don't need or want it to go away.
    Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".

  21. #21
    Silver Member LilSissyStevie's Avatar
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    I've always thought that asking people here if it's possible to quit was like going to a skid row bar and asking if it's possible to quit drinking. "No, I tried a thousand times and a thousand ways." Of course, it may be true that person will never quit, but that doesn't mean you can't. I didn't dress for 10 years and before that it was only partial and sporadic. During that 10 years, I got my fix by reading erotic TG/CD/Sissy literature but had no overwhelming desire to act on it. Then, all of a sudden, it hit me like a Mac truck. But, I can't think of a reason why I'd want to quit. It doesn't really interfere with my life in any substantial way other than it seems ridiculous sometimes. I dress because of AGP. I can quit dressing but I can't quit AGP any more than I can quit being heterosexual.

  22. #22
    What a great life
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    It's easy to quit i've done it a bunch of times.

  23. #23
    Silver Member CynthiaD's Avatar
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    Is it possible to quit?

    Who cares? I’m having the time of my life!

  24. #24
    New Member from Scotland paulinescotlandcd's Avatar
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    You can count on one hand my posts on here but I am still here and I am still CD'ing as and when I can, which is rarely, but in my opinion it can't go away. It's just the you are wired.

  25. #25
    Silver Member Bobbi46's Avatar
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    I dont think it does, and not for me, its a way of life for me, one in which I am very comfortable with and cannot ever see myself turning my back on it all. I strongly believe and have been told so as well, that I was born to be the way I am. Did I struggle with this ? over the years yes until i find the answers i was searching for. Now? perfectly happy with a reduced circle of friends because some turned their backs on me when I "came out"
    I started life a lost man now I am a found woman

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