Hi I'm Faye,
or at least that is the name that I have chosen for myself, this has been, I suppose an ongoing thing for me from a young age, I don't really know why. (By the way I will do my best with spelling & grammar however I am not the best typer!
So in the past i have always been drawn to women, as a man I suppose this would seem natural to most people, however overtime I found i developed more of an interest towards women's clothing than anything else & had some drawing templates & started looking into designing clothes. However this went no where.
Later on a girlfriend of mine left her Bra at my place after she stayed over, I remember saying to her "you left your Bra here by the way", to which she replied, "its ok I'll pick it up when I come over next", shortly after that we broke up though, so she never picked it up. I was young & naive so I kept it & hung it from my lampshade, I was 18 & she was the 2nd girl that I had slept with so, I suppose it was almost a bragging right to my friends.
Then one day I decided to try it on... Surprisingly it seemed to fit quite well so I put some socks in the cups & found the tightest fitting top that I had, I really enjoyed wearing it & wore it several times after. This is not the first time that I had worn women's clothes, or thought about wearing women's clothes, but other times had been things when I had got soaked at A party or something & one of my female friends had said, "I bought A spare pair as I'm staying over so wear these ones", I had no hesitation in the matter I was just polite as always & said "ok thanks", then she turns around & says "they look good on you". I had a huge crush on the girl who leant me her jeans that day, maybe that had something to do with it, but again I felt comfortable wearing them & went about the party as if nothing had happened.
All that stuff though was when I was in my teens, I'm now twice that age & life has many complications & I'm trying to find something for me, that I can enjoy, at first I wanted it to be something that I could share with my family & friends, but this proved more difficult than I had imagined
Last week I was down & fed up & all I wanted to do was look at models or girls doing cosplay (I'm a big fan of Anime) as much as the sex appeal was there, I didn't feel that was really why I was looking at those pictures/videos, I came to the conclusion (A conclusion I think I have know for a long time... That I am jealous, I've never been one for self esteem, never really loved myself & it shows, as much as I may try to hide it.
So I decided, why not try some women's clothes... This could be what you need to feel better about yourself, maybe it will make you take care of yourself better, maybe it can be A little thing for YOU.
So I did i decided to start with a wig & some underwear, as soon as I'd ordered them I couldn't ,wait for them to arrive even thought I knew it would be a while, since then I've ordered on 4 more occasions, all the time wondering if this is really for me, Am I just being silly is there something better I could do?
Anyway the wig arrived which I sort of screwed up cutting the fringe as I could not see anything, & I know nothing about hairdressing, however now I can see & the majority is "Un-Fayed", I thought the underwear was probably going to arrive when I was at work, when I realised it was going to arrive today I was so excited & so nervous, have I ordered the right size will I feel silly, is the wig that I bought going to work with this? But when It arrived I got showered, (had fun putting the Underwear on), tried to find what I had that I thought would work if I want to look like a woman, Looked at my self & I'll be honest I was happy & relieved.
I know I am not A woman & have thought about changing my gender before but to have that feeling that I could at least look like A woman. I love it.
I know that I have typed A lot here, (more than I thought I would have,) I just wanted to share my feelings & emotions & talk to people who feel this way, instead of me sitting alone by myself wondering whether I should or shouldn't do this, despite all the things I will probably have to learn & understand, apart from wearing women's clothes in the past I feel this is very new to me.
But I love it & would love to hear from anyone who would like to chat or give me advice on anything, sorry this has been sooooo long.
Thank you for reading
Catch up soon
Faye