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Thread: Do you just walk straight out the door

  1. #26
    The Anima Corrupt Wen4cd's Avatar
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    These days, yeah, I just do my face, get dressed, grab my bag, and go right out the door to go shopping. I no longer carry an emergency bag to 'switch' back into boy mode at all. (I used to do this, but realized that it was a bit of a 'security blanket' and using it would be a sort of personal defeat.)

    If you are worried about the neighbors, just stride with confidence and purpose. It's not an instant process, but confidence will steadily build.

    A thing to do in nervous situations, or when you think eyes are on you, is to toy with your celphone and chat up a friend or group of friends, just like anyone else would on their shopping trips.

    It helps to have built some confidence in your voice as well. Doesn't have to be perfect, but it should not make you cringe.

  2. #27
    Gold Member Sometimes Steffi's Avatar
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    I think I've done just about everything mentioned above. But, my plan is so complicated, I need a flow chart.

    "One if by land; two if by sea" sort of thing.

    If my wife and adult daughter are out of the house together, I do most of the dressing at home. I will call my wife when I leave, and she will call me when she is on her way back so that we don't meet each other.

    I have a "girl bag" that I take with me that has clothes, makeup and wig, and whatever else I might need. It also has my handbag.

    I have an attached garage, so I can go to the garage without being seen. I'll usually get everything into the car and open them garage door with the remote control and drive out of the neighborhood. I will stop somewhere along the way, either a parking lot or garage to finish dressing and putting on my wig.

    If there is enough light, I will put on my makeup in the car. If not, I'll find a bathroom at the venue to do my makeup, Usually, I grab stall in the ladies room, but I prefer a single "Family" restroom.

    I had a CD friend with an accepting wife and that made it easy to change there. But, they moved to Reno just before the pandemic started. Now, I have an arrangement with another friend who knows about Steffi and is an ally where I can change.
    Hi, I'm Steffi and I'm a crossdresser... And I accept and celebrate both sides of me. Or, maybe I'm gender fluid.

  3. #28
    Exploring NEPA now Cheryl T's Avatar
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    When I first came out fully to the wife and began dressing frequently at home that was a thought.
    At first I made sure to avoid the sight of the neighbors, then after a while the wife said "I don't care what the neighbors think" and so I began not worrying either. I would not only leave the house for outings fully dressed but began doing the mundane things like taking out the trash and fetching the mail. That of course escalated to wearing my swimsuit (sometimes a bikini) in the backyard to tan or swim in the pool.
    Now it no longer matters so I do most anything indoor or outdoor dressed.
    I don't wear women's clothes, I wear MY clothes !

  4. #29
    Senior Member Princess29's Avatar
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    For a while, I was dating a woman who was fully accepting of melissa and I could get dressed at her place and walk straight out the door which was very liberating

  5. #30
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    My car is parked only a few feet from my front door. There are tall hedges between my property and the next on both sides.
    I just go straight to my car fully dressed and with confidence. I always figured that if a neighbor asked, I'd say that my sister is visiting.

  6. #31
    Member CayleeMarie's Avatar
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    While my wife is totally ok with my dressing and allows me full acceptance of anything that i want to wear... at home. She is not too keen on my leaving the house dressed. She lives in fear that someone we know will see me and that will cause the universe as we know it and all of its parallel dimensions to get sucked into a microscopic black hole. So needless to say, there are not many opportunities for me to get out dressed. On those rare occasions however, I have the luxury of having an attached garage. So I can get out stealthily without the neighbors seeing. As an added bonus while masks are required most everywhere still, I can still be my MIAD self without drawing too much unwanted attention to myself.

  7. #32
    Senior Member kayegirl's Avatar
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    I just walk out of the door and either get into my car or simply walk down the street. Most of my neighbours know about Kaye so it's no problem.

  8. #33
    Princess Candice candykowal's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jamienoir View Post
    To further this: I've always wondered about ladies whose SO didn't approve. Do you just get dressed to the 9's while she is doing something else and walk out the door for dinner, event, party, etc.
    Or do you stroll past the unapproving SO and say, "bye dear!" SLAM!!
    Well, as for me, I don't present around my wife, and though we have a DADT relationship, she isn't in the know I have a Candice personna.
    But she is independent enough to go out on her own, drive out of state for craft fairs and to visit relatives and she still works.
    This affords me, when the planets align, my girly time.
    I am sure there are not too many marriages as you suggested....not for long anyway.
    If a CDer is dressing while the wife is home, there is some sort of mutual agreement ,,,if they don't approve, CDers are doing there girly time on the sly, at a private office, hotel, or a mistresses place.
    Candice Coleen Kowal ....all my friends call me Candy!

  9. #34
    The Anima Corrupt Wen4cd's Avatar
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    My spouse probably does not approve, but we're so estranged that we're basically house-sharing at this point.

    If she is in the kitchen, and she hears my door open from my room, she goes into her room so as not to have to see or speak with me.

    After so many years of this, I decided that I would just go about the house dressed however I want, and go out shopping how I want, etc.

    Since I started dressing all the time on the weekends at home and shopping, she's actually been avoiding me a bit less. We might even be friends again one day.

  10. #35
    TrueNorth Strong & Fierce Princess Chantal's Avatar
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    I just walk out the door with my head up and no concerns with what I am wearing. I have no shame of my crossdressing whether it be walking out in a mini dress and 5 inch heels or dress up in a Victorian dress and a parasol. Neighbours seem to be more engaging with me when I am prettied up

  11. #36
    Senior Member Ceera's Avatar
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    It changed for me over time. I am not part time any more, but most of this applies to before I transitioned to full time female life.

    When I first started going out en-femme, I only left the house dressed after dark, and quietly slipped out and tried to avoid being noticed by any neighbors. My destination was almost solely LGBTQ nightclubs and bars, where I felt safe and accepted. I was surprised that the lesbian community embraced and accepted me right away. That phase lasted about a year.

    As I gained confidence in my appearance, I cared less if I was seen, and started going out a lot more during the day, and going to general public destinations. Yet I still generally tried not to be noticed. I had two distinct circles of friends - those who knew me as a man, including my co-workers, and those who knew me as a woman, and had never seen me as a man. Those two groups did not cross over, except for my daughter, who lived with me. Most of my ‘girl side friends’ were lesbian or bi women, and I began to identify my ‘girl side’ as a primarily lesbian, bisexual woman. I considered myself ‘gender fluid’, switching easily between my male and female roles, but keeping them separated. About another year for that phase.

    When I moved to a new town in a new state, still only part time female, I decided I would not hide at all. I was ready to be out of the closet as ‘non binary and Queer’. I was certain most of my social time would be spent as a woman socializing primarily with lesbian and bisexual women, even though I was still legally and physically male. So I came and went as I pleased, and if neighbors commented, I chatted with them in a friendly manner about my habits. I did not go out of my way to avoid conversing with the neighbors, but ai did not eagerly seek to converse with them, either. I started coming out to my male side?s friends and to my family during this time. Coming out at work never happened, because I got laid off (because they were reducing staff prior to a merger, and unrelated to my own activities or performance) and I retired early. It remained that way for the next two years, until I committed to living full time as a woman.

    For me, this gradual approach to being seen and interacting with the general community made my transition much easier. My neighbors - at least any of them who I encounter with any regularity - all know and accept me now. I walk my dog in the neighborhood and chat in a friendly manner with anyone I meet, and just enjoy my new life.
    Last edited by Ceera; 02-16-2021 at 12:26 PM.

  12. #37
    Senior Member Maid_Marion's Avatar
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    I just walk out the door.

    I found it harder to be able to just walk up to the door and talk to someone at the door.

    Marion

  13. #38
    Senior Member Princess29's Avatar
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    Thank you for your responses. Most times when people say, "you're not the only one to go through xyz" (while it is meant to make you feel better) usually it has has no effect at all but the responses on here make me feel better for some reason.
    It's still frustrating though

  14. #39
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    On my street the houses are set on sixty foot wide lots x 140 feet deep. Our front door is seventy feet from the curb. The converted garage door is fifty feet. Our outside lights are not motion activated. When I have the opportunity I exit under cover of darkness the former garage door. My overhead light in my car blew out years ago and I have never replaced it. So, when I open the car door, no light comes on. It's two houses (120 feet) to the corner. Our house is set about six feet above street level. The across the street neighbors door bell camera does not catch the car when it is activated by me coming home. I always wear a dress. No pseudo pants for me. And a low heel with a noise deadening sole.
    Last edited by Stephanie47; 02-17-2021 at 10:31 AM.

  15. #40
    prissy chic ellbee's Avatar
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    I no longer really go out totally en-femme. Only once in a blue moon, these days.

    But I used to -- a lot.


    Eh, 99.99% of the time, I'd get ready at home & step out the front door, as is. No covering up, no changing in the car or at a hotel, etc. And I'd come home looking the same way.

    I recall there was one time where I gathered up my stuff & left as my guy-self to head over to a friend's house to get ready there. Not even sure why that was. He was a drag queen, we were going clubbing during a Halloween weekend... And maybe I thought it would be fun to get ready together?

    Turns out, he didn't even get all dolled-up that night!

    Actually didn't even really enjoy the experience. Felt too rushed. Different lighting/mirror/set-up. Blah blah blah. The end-result was fine, but I felt "off" during the whole process.



    Anyway... Out my own front door was the norm. But I'd be lying if I said it was always easy.


    Despite how much past experience you may have under your belt? Sometimes your confidence level might not be where it should be on any given day... Then you happen to look out the window, and some of your neighbors are milling about. How could I leave like this?!?

    Keep in mind, too, that this was apartment living. Sometimes even with a long hallway, or going down a common stairwell. Multiple buildings clustered together. Bit of a walk to the car. Daytime, or lit up during the evening. Etc., etc.


    Yeah, I was seen enough times -- that I even know of, that is. One neighbor (mid-40's male, total jerk) once called me out on it afterwards. Things got a bit heated, heh. Or other examples, GG-neighbors on two separate occasions *alluded* to seeing me all dolled-up walking to my car... They were nice about it & all, but I just played dumb at the time. I eventually came out to one of them... She was pretty cool with it.



    Anyway, bottom line? Just do what you gotta do. Staying at home can get boring... Especially for the younger and/or extroverted crowd.

    But once you get out there, if that's what you want to do? Totally worth it!

  16. #41
    Senior Member Princess29's Avatar
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    Our Covid situation in queensland is not so severe as in other parts of the world so we have a lot more freedom of movement in general but I still get nervous just walking out the front door (lived in the same apartment for 12 years and had the same neighbour between me and my car) and he is home basically every night with his front door wide open, watching tv, facing the front door.
    I don't really have many places to go anyway so all up, I often don't bother as it will be going out by myself and after many years of that, I really struggle to bother

  17. #42
    Lacy Lacyfem's Avatar
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    My goodness I usually get in my car which is parked in the garage and we have a door to it from our home so don't worry about coming out and being seen walking to my car. However, most in the neighborhood do know me and my car so do give a look around when I back out to see whose there as I do think they'd wonder what woman is driving my car as I never bother to to take the wig off and put it on once out of the neighborhood. Frankly, it's exciting that I may be seen as the gurl I love being.
    Lacyfem

  18. #43
    Platinum Blonde member Ressie's Avatar
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    No, I don't just walk out the door. Neighbors are one thing but I also have relatives in this residential area. And my nephew has been living with me since the pandemic started. I would love to be fancy free but I'm not.
    "You're the only one to see the changes you take yourself through", Stevie Wonder

  19. #44
    New Member Edelia's Avatar
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    When I was a teenager (12-15 y.o.) many times I just walked out the door of my house, I don't think someone discovered me, or a neighbor noticed me, there were no consequences but in the eighties I know it was a bad idea.

  20. #45
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    Princess,
    Is it just a coincidence your neighbour watching TV the way he does or is he intentionally keeping an eye open for you ? I would say 12 years is too long to hide from him , you only have to appear once or just tell him you're TG either way it will soon become normal .

  21. #46
    Senior Member Princess29's Avatar
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    Hi Teresa
    It's just an annoying coincidence. I wish he would take his caravan away more on holidays (he's retired) and the few times he has done that over the years, I have just walked out the front door

  22. #47
    Silver Member Leslie Mary S's Avatar
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    I live in an area were I do not go out dressed anymore. If I do and get caught, I will have to move. Just my luck the mobile home park manager, about six months ago, moved into the trailer right across the street from me. I normally go out after dark, or pack part of my change and coverup what I am wearing, and then stop at a roadside area and finish changing.
    Leslie Mary Shy
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    You do not have to be a man to love a woman, or be a woman to love women's clothes on her or yourself.
    _________________________

  23. #48
    Senior Member TheHiddenMe's Avatar
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    More often my issue is getting out of or into my house. My wife knows, but I go out (or at least used to go out), more often than she knew. She would leave the house for some reason (like a bridge game), I would dress and go out, and come back after my "bike ride" (a/k/a my cover story). That meant changing back into boy mode in the car (sometimes going out in boy mode, change and makeup in the car, and then change back).

    Once dressed, I'm in a fairly nice neighborhood so we have an attached garage and the houses are set back from the road. Sometimes my neighbors are out in their yards so I hold up a towel to block their view, and between that and it's hard to see into car windows these days, I figure I'm ok (sometimes I will remove the wig).

    I also (pre-pandemic) used to spend 2 months a year in a Melbourne, Australia suburb, in an apartment that has 10 units. In that case, I just suck it up and walk out the door, generally about 50 feet to our car in the covered carport. I figure the people in the complex don't know the boy me very well, so they won't make the connection.

  24. #49
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    lets see neighbor woman pounds on door and says help. I answer the door wearing white lace 38DD bra under a thin tight white t-shirt short jeans skirt.She has injured bird at her house come quick. I go to her house bird has died. I put the bird in trash can after she finds plastic bag. We talk for awhile. I walk back home which is 150 ft. Wave at neighbor that drives by. I assume neighbors know.

    Her husband and another neighbor took me fishing when we first met. they were going fishing and asked me to join them. I was wearing shorts with women's tenis shoes top and bra. Neither of them ever said a thing.

    Ive lived all over the country and never had a problem with neighbors. What they say about me has never been bad
    Last edited by lingerieLiz; 02-18-2021 at 10:33 PM. Reason: rest of the stories

  25. #50
    Reality Check Krisi's Avatar
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    Obviously, we are all in different situations, both about the need to conceal our little hobby from neighbors and the situations we live in.

    In my case, I don't want the neighbors to know and the car is not in the garage (tools are) so my method is to underdress, put my clothes, purse, wig, etc. in a bag and walk out and get into the car. I drive to a safe spot (usually a large shopping center parking lot) and finish dressing. I stop and change back before going home.
    Krisi

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