Results 1 to 23 of 23

Thread: Almost feel like giving up on dressing

  1. #1
    Aspiring Member Sandi Beech's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2019
    Location
    Southeast US
    Posts
    764

    Almost feel like giving up on dressing

    Not wanting any pity or anything because I do have a lot going for me, but wondering if others are feeling the same. Pre covid I got to go out clubbing at least once a month dressed up. Now it has been over a year. My work travel is near zero now. On top of having an unaccepting wife, a relative had to move in with us over a depressing situation which I can not discuss here.. The bottom line is that there is zero opportunity at home. I did a few risky partial dress ups last summer, but after getting caught once I had to stop or run the risk of a big confrontation as I have run into before.

    I just do not see any reasonable opportunity any more. I am not going to purge, but I feel like I am trying to cling onto something that is fading away.

    Anyone else feeling the same?

    Sandi

  2. #2
    Silver Member Sometimes Steffi's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    Nation's Capital
    Posts
    4,504
    To me, it's like a rainstorm. As soon as it stops "raining" I'll be going out again. I have no plans to stop.

    My relationship with my wife is DADT, but she does let me go out dressed, as long as she doesn't see me and neither do the neighbors.
    Hi, I'm Steffi and I'm a crossdresser... And I accept and celebrate both sides of me. Or, maybe I'm gender fluid.

    Gender fluid (adj.) - Describes a person whose gender identity is not fixed. A person who is gender fluid may always feel like a mix of the two traditional genders, but may feel [more] like one gender some days, and [more like] another gender other days.

    Ref: https://www.lgbthealtheducation.org/wp-content/uploads/LGBT-Glossary_March2016.pdf

  3. #3
    Weirdest woman ever! docrobbysherry's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Orange County, Calif.
    Posts
    22,052
    My situation is very different that yours, Sandi. Since my grown, unapproving, daughter moved out a year ago, there r zero limits on my dressing!

    On the one hand, I dearly miss dressing up in sexy club wear and hanging out with the "girls" at clubs and bars.

    On the other hand, I have my stories and costume characters. Which MORE than satisfy my dressing compulsion!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  4. #4
    Rachel Rachelakld's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    New Zealand
    Posts
    4,256
    every few years I get the feeling, but if you can manage to go without dressing, then why not go without dressing.
    While I can dress at home often, it's not always in the best interest of others I share the house with.
    See all my photos, read many stories of my outings and my early days at
    http://rachelsauckland.blogspot.co.nz

  5. #5
    Aspiring Member DianeT's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2017
    Location
    France
    Posts
    527
    Sandi, if it drives you insane or makes you miserable, if I were you I would open up to my wife about it and find an arrangement, such as going to a hotel for a night. If your wife has reservations about you going out dressed, you should probably ask her (and maybe yourself too ) why, and discuss it as well. I don't think any wife wants to be miserable, but I don't think they want their husband to be either, there should be a way to find a common ground, even in a DADT situation.
    As shocked as my wife was by my coming out, she tried to settle with me for something that would be bearable for the both of us. I sincerely hope you can too.

  6. #6
    Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2014
    Location
    Nr London UK
    Posts
    465
    We are in lockdown in the UK so no going out, so wife is always around and we are in a DADT situation. So its dressing in my man cave twice a week while she watches TV in the evenings. The only plus point is that I can sleep en femme regularly as we both disturb each other at night so then we sleep in separate bedrooms.
    Vikky
    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Adventure before dementia

  7. #7
    Gold Member Helen_Highwater's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Midlands UK
    Posts
    5,787
    As often discussed, it's difficult to give dressing up. For you I'd suggest it's more a case of setting it to one side in the knowledge that eventually things will change.

    Yes it is frustrating, it's been 15 months since I last ventured out but I'm hoping towards the end of this year I'll once more be able to get out and about again.

    It is what it is, we just have to go with the flow.

  8. #8
    Member MonicaPVD's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2018
    Location
    New England
    Posts
    446
    This has been a trying time for those of us who do not have the freedom to dress at home. I, too, used to travel often for work and took advantage of those trips. At the very least, restaurants and bars operated normally and there were places to go and events to be a part of. I think it's important to put things in perspective. I have more than a few friends who have lost ones to this thing. I have two friends who lost their businesses over the past nine months. The fact that I have less options to dress during a prolonged yet temporary pandemic is really not such a big deal after all. Stay strong.

  9. #9
    New Member Alana Westenra's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2017
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    17
    Some really good perspective on here. Sandi, I think it's wise not to purge. We're gonna get around this and if you've kept your gear safely away for a while when we are able to re-emerge I have a feeling it'll be fantastic. I sometimes have to let go for a while, and when the opportunity presents itself, make it count! That being said, your frustration on this is very real, and I'm in and out of it myself. Hang in there!

  10. #10
    Aspiring Member Sandi Beech's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2019
    Location
    Southeast US
    Posts
    764
    Thank you everyone. It feels like it is helpful to talk about it here. Trust me I understand how lucky I am compared to SO many others. I am always trying to analyze myself and I think the anxiety I have over the pandemic for all of these months is starting to wear me down. Mix that up with some family issues and it does have me a bit down.
    On a positive side , I do look at my few dressed up pictures I have often. I have some really great memories over the last few years to keep it going in my mind. I am ok, just having a bit of a low point and was wondering if others do as well.

    Thanks again

    Sandi

  11. #11
    Gold Member alwayshave's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    Washington, DC
    Posts
    8,366
    Sandi, I can't dress at home, as I have my wife's adult children are living with us. Usually, I go to a hotel dress and then I head out, but because of Covid, that opportunity has gone away. It has been since January 2020 since I have been able to dress.
    Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".

  12. #12
    Junior Member Jacke's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2019
    Posts
    55
    Hang in there Sandi, this thing will be over someday. I think we are all having a bit of cabin fever.
    Continuing or not is such a personal decision it is impossible to give advice, so I will just be the best you you can be. Whatever that "you" is at the time.
    Today I can not go out because of ice and snow. We rarely get it here. I would not go out at all, but I am out of firewood and have to trek out to the woodpile.

  13. #13
    Member Lux's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Posts
    279
    Sandi girl, I see the sadness in your posting but absolutely know that there is always light at the end of the long tunnel. In the meantime is there any way you can set up a work trip to get away for a couple days? Maybe a solo road trip to go do something on your bucket list? Here’s to patience and staying safe in the meantime!

  14. #14
    Member Liz Jones's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2020
    Location
    The north Wirral ( near Liverpool ) U.K.
    Posts
    303
    Sandi,
    Nothing lasts forever -- good or bad . My concern is --- putting on weight !
    Liz

  15. #15
    Rural T Girl Teri Ray's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    Idaho
    Posts
    1,627
    Sandi as you can tell from the responses in this thread you are not alone. I was amazed to find how many of us had a lull in our dressing desire for one reason or another this last year. I join others in supporting your feelings and wish you the best in finding a way back to your normal. I have gone through similar feelings this last year and just recently began to feel like my old self. Try some bubble bath therapy followed by nice smelling lotion. Its at least a start.
    Teri Ray Rural Idaho Girl.

  16. #16
    Feminaut Julie MA's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2016
    Location
    Massachusetts
    Posts
    540
    Dressing is something I love and need to feel whole. Even if I cannot for awhile, looking forward to future opportunities is thrilling and sustaining. I also love sailing, and live in New England. The sailing season is really only June-Sept. But that doesn't keep me from thinking about it, remembering how much I love and need it. I realize that sailing is something I can do openly and pretty much know I will do again this summer. But, as for dressing, nurture that feminine side of you, inside your heart if you have to. And find ways to keep it a positive, and not a regretful hole in your life. Could be as simple as online shopping or reading about others' experiences here.
    Inside my heart is breaking
    My make-up may be flaking
    But my smile still stays on

    Such is CD life (sounds so much better in French)

  17. #17
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Location
    Western Washington
    Posts
    11,980
    Sure, my wife fully retired. She had been working part time, but, full days. I had seven plus hours of Stephanie time multiple days a week. Sometimes she babysat our grandson overnight at our daughter's apartment. Now Covid set in. We are glued at the hip. She does not drive due to a vision impairment and definitely will NOT take a Covid bus. Until Covid is under control my only outlet is banging away on the keyboard, buying panties on occasion, but, since we do sleep apart for medical reasons I do wear a nightie every night. The dresses and heels await the end of Covid.

  18. #18
    Gold Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Location
    Illinois
    Posts
    8,261
    Sandi Beech;
    What about under dressing. Maybe that might be a way for you during tough time.

  19. #19
    Aspiring Member Sandi Beech's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2019
    Location
    Southeast US
    Posts
    764
    Thanks again everyone for the kind responses. I think I am mostly down in the dumps because of a family issue which will hopefully be temporary.

    I used to underdress years ago Rader. I kind of got a kick out of it back then. Funny thing, but not so funny at the time: I once put some thigh high stockings on under my work clothes in the winter. Go figure, my wife sat next to me on the sofa, and put her hand on my leg and felt the band, busted. I caught real hell for that as it was one of the first times I was caught. Today, it just does not do that much for me so I do not bother to underdress. I live for being fully dressed up and going out on the town to socialize with others. I will just need to be patient and stay well until those days return.

    Sandi

  20. #20
    Member Debs's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    North West UK
    Posts
    166
    My wife is (maybe was) DADT, but has allowed me to dress at home now since covid, I used to only do it at my holiday home, but she allows me to dress and wear makeup whenever I want now and doent even bat an eyelid or make a remark. But i respect that i wiont go outside the home dressed in case the neighbours see me, then she has no explaining to do. But i guess its better than nothing, cant wait till lockdown over and I can get out to my holiday home and get out and about shopping and clubbing again.

  21. #21
    Aspiring Member Geena75's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    529
    I can understand what you must be feeling, even though my involvement in cross dressing is far less than you. Last fall I moved up a level in cross dressing by getting more clothes, body shaping, and trying make-up. I was even working at going clean shaven and presenting as fully female for the first time. Then circumstances changed so that there is zero home alone time I can plan on, and I don't see that changing for months. I find it very frustrating since I was ready to really work on presenting, even with the possibility of venturing out and being seen. That is all on hold indefinitely. For now, I work on weight loss, writing, and dreaming; and being ready to take advantage of such opportunities that come up. As I told someone from this site, Geena is as much in my mind as in the clothes.

  22. #22
    leggings junkie ellbee's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Location
    US
    Posts
    1,826
    See, that's what I don't get about the all-or-nothing crowd...

    Isn't at least *something* a tiny bit better than nothing??



    For example, the past couple days I've been mix-moding it while chilling at home -- in guy-mode, at that.

    Panties, cheapie-leggings in a comfy brushed fabric, guy-socks, and an oversized guy t-shirt.


    Just a lazy, lounge-around, pajama-style look. Nothing too outrageous. Technically CD'ing, yet still look like a dude.

    Granted, the leggings I'm wearing at the moment are a cute pink plaid print, but that's besides the point.

    (Masculine & neutral colors are also readily available. )


    You mean to tell me that an otherwise-disapproving family member would object even to this look?

    Fine, go buy a pair of leggings in the *men's* department, to shut them up.



    Is it everything (i.e., totally en-femme) you may want/need? Nope.

    But, it's *something* to at least help you suffer a little less!


    I dunno... Guess I just don't understand that mentality -- that of the CD'er, as well as the family member(s).

    People are weird.

  23. #23
    Always been a GIRL. Michelle1955's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2017
    Location
    Texas Hill Country
    Posts
    85

    We are all down due to covid, weather, etc

    The pink fog and weather are bad here also. I put my boyshorts or slip shorts daily (365) to help the pink fog. With this weather my leggings and one of my female shirt under my heavy winter cloths. Been out several times this week helping neighbors and family since so many are losing electric power. Hauled several to town since we do not know how long the electric outage will last. Luckily we still have power, but runners heaters in water well / pump house to keep water flowing using a generator.

    Many things to do to get through this storm event in TEXAS.

    Stay busy help my fog, but do underdress to manage it.

    Stay the course, the fog will setttle down,

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  


Check out these other hot web properties:
Catholic Personals | Jewish Personals | Millionaire Personals | Unsigned Artists | Crossdressing Relationship
BBW Personals | Latino Personals | Black Personals | Crossdresser Chat | Crossdressing QA
Biker Personals | CD Relationship | Crossdressing Dating | FTM Relationship | Dating | TG Relationship


The crossdressing community is one that needs to stick together and continue to be there for each other for whatever one needs.
We are always trying to improve the forum to better serve the crossdresser in all of us.

Browse Crossdressers By State