Probably my closest call yet

[stefaniec]

I had a few close calls growing up when I was still at home, maybe family members were suspicious but they never "caught me in the act" so there wasn't enough proof so to say.

Eventually I did get caught though. The last gg girlfriend I had found out about me. We weren't living together at this point in our relationship, but we would spend a day or two at each others' place from time to time just because. So since I still had my own place, I dressed up pretty often if we weren't spending time together for whatever reason. On this particular day, my gf was using my computer and found pictures of me on the bed in lingerie and stockings from a recent dressing session. I was actually driving to work when she must've came across them, because she called me on my drive in to work that morning. She did not beat around the bush about it, when I answered the phone hello? she went right into "why are they pictures of you on your computer of you wearing stockings and panties?"

Needless to say, I did the first u-turn I could manage and sped right back to my place. When I got back home, I sat her down on the couch and of course the natural questions followed: "are you gay?" "how long have you been doing this?" "did I catch something from you?"

I was pretty much caught red-handed, so I had to come clean and own up to it. What I managed to maneuver out of, was me dating other cd's and men. I had plenty of meetups before she and I started dating, and although I continued to dress while we dated, I did put a pause on meeting anyone else while we were together. Still, she was very clearly not into dating a crossdresser. She was the type of girl who embraced gender roles and enjoyed being the woman in the relationship. So she freaked out pretty bad, going on about how she had no idea how I was gay and that I was lying to her this whole time and whatnot.

I eventually managed to talk her down a little. The relationship did not last much longer after that. To her credit, she tried to be ok with it and had me dress up for her one time, but it didn't work. I couldn't get into it because I knew she was forcing it. And she just was not attracted to me (mostly because in normal mode I'm a regular guy) as an over the top crossdresser with a miniskirt and stocking tops showing, 5" pumps, and big hair.

We broke up soon after that. We had a decent amount of mutual friends, so I was definitely concerned about her sharing my secret with our mutual contacts. As far as I know, she did not.

The best advice I can give to a CD who is in a relationship with an unknowing gg partner is: they will find out eventually. We all think we cover our tracks sufficiently but we all slip up at some point. Maybe it is a subconscious desire to be caught, I don't know. That being said, it is infinitely better for them to find out on your terms than for them to discover it on their own.

Looking back, the deception did seem to offend her more than the crossdressing itself. After all, she did want to see me dress up in person. As for the dating other cd's/men piece, there probably wouldn't have been any reconciling that.

So, times are changing. If you haven't come out to your lady and you genuinely want a relationship with a gg, let her know. You might be surprised at the support you get. If not, you no longer have the stress and fear and paranoia of having your secret discovered.

[lingerieLiz]

I told my wife years ago when we were first dating. In the second week I told her about me and that I wasn't gay. She saw me dressed. Would she rather I didn't CD YES. Have I ran into women who it didn't bother yes, but many women don't want their husbands to CD. Before you go to far in your relationship you owe it to the woman. How would you feel to find out that your wife liked riding around as a guy.

[candykowal]

Oh gosh, I suppose the more close calls you have, the better you learn to minimize those potential close calls.
You can never eliminate close calls unless your really doing drastic measures.
It's nice to see threads like this to review your own past close calls and reevaluate strategies to improve or consider opening up.
So thanks for sharing your experience, I think a lot of us can relate.

Growing up, Dad found me sleeping in babydolls, bras, slips, and panties, he knew Mother bought for me a few times.
They argued and I felt so bad for my Mom, that I learned ....to not be caught.
Mom separated and we moved to Indiana where I didn't have to hide my things anymore.
Today, when I dress to reminisce, I am mindful not to be selfish and subject her to things she rather not know or care to know.
In the end, it is all a leap of faith, a game of chance.
I have found, over time, to condition and subliminally bring my wife to accept small things, of a feminine nature.
So when you do finally get caught in this innocent desire to be a more feminine person, the things your SO already knows, might make that moment, not as traumatic.

[Krisi]

My wife left once, but returned about ten minutes later because the tire pressure light was on on the car. You never know when someone will show up and if they have their own key, you are never "safe".

Now if you are in a DADT situation, that means your wife knows but doesn't want to talk about it or see it. If she leaves, she should expect that you will dress and if she really doesn't want to see it, she will call before she comes back home.

[Beverley Sims]

Ever been caught with your pants down? :-)

[barbaralegs76]

My closest call was one of the first time I did it. It was when I was aroung 15 and I have the same size as my mom. There were a wig at home that makes me start doing this.
As I measure almost the same as my mom at that age, and I have no beard at all, or hairy legs, it was easy and I look very beautiful that time. I used my mom's work clothes, so also I looked distinguish. She has a lot of makeup, and I always had long lashes.

The house was empty, and I really enjoyed beign Barbara. Even I cooked sometimes (I love to cook, and I'm a very good cook). Well, that day I was walking through the corridor and in the door, glass door BTW, a guy was there and he saw me and say "HI" with his hand. I had a mini-heart-attack and I ran to the closest room, and waited. He knock a couple of times more while I was there.... waiting and scared. Once it finishes, I lok closely, nobody was there, so I finish my business and stops for a while, The fear was big.
Anyway, I remember that time because it was so easy to CD, and I looked beautiful.

Kisses!

[CharlotteCD]

I've had another close call today. My wife is generally attached to or daughter at the moment, which means when I go out and come home (rare occasions) then I can bring things in and out of the house/garage without her seeing.

She didn't need the car until 3pm, and I was extremely excited for a bit of time to finally be myself alone. I needed to do an errand, and on my way back I picked up some clothing from a parcel locker in prep for trying on at 3pm.

I get in at 1pm, and I hide the clothes under the seats just in case she wants to go out to the car for any reason in the next 2 hours, and she meets me at the back door. She's going out earlier than planned, so wants me to put the pram in the car.

No chance of bringing the clothes into the house as she had full visivbility of the back door. No option to leave them in the car, as once she adjusted the seats to her driving position it'd expose my new clothes.

I then had an amazing bit of luck. My daughter decided to empty herself, and therefore needed a nappy change there and then, and since I was doing the pram, my wife did the duty.

Quickly grabbed the clothes from the car and chucked them in the garage as I was putting the recycling boxes away, she went out none the wiser, and I managed to have a much needed dressing session.

If my daughter hadn't done a poo at that point I was really struggling for an escape route at this point - all I could do was a garage drop whilst she went to the toilet. It would have been risky, but I think I'd have managed it.

Either way, the joys of DADT, and the efforts we go to avoid causing conflict with out partners.

[jenabrooks]

Playing a game what we will screw up and get cough.