Hi Steffi; I see you've been here a while, so you've probably seen my posts on this topic before. Feel free to read my bio in the writers section, on how to turn a normal boy into a crossdresser. Link is in my sig. So, no, not everyone is born this way.
Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.
I'm not inclined to go with the "born this way" notion, from a genetic approach. Example: they have isolated a gene that makes a person more susceptible to alcoholism. It doesn't mean everyone with that gene is an alcoholic, but that they can become one much more readily. I think that some people feel that, if genetics can be the cause, there is no blame on the individual, so no shame. Maybe they will someday isolate a 'cross dressing gene,' but I doubt they will.
So much of gender is a social construct that I believe it has more to do with 'nurture' than 'nature.' How we regard ourselves in general, as well as how we regard the opposite sex, is learned, however subtly. Allowing that if operating within the social norm of our birth gender can become too burdensome, and we can become infatuated with the other gender, and are willing to accept certain options -- it's no wonder experimentation happens. If those experiments result in a positive feeling, we would be willing to violate social norms to continue that feeling. From that point we balance the strength of our desires with the consequences, social and otherwise, and arrive at the degree to which we will take it.
I had no thoughts about dressing when I was younger, but was in awe of the myriad of clothes and fashions of women. It came crashing into my life when I was about 12/13, at that time it was for pleasure. After that it became an enjoyable routine and that's where I'm at this moment.
Geena,
New research has shown that we are indeed born this way , our wiring is different . Personally I can't blame outside influences , so I don't believe our environment has that much influence , if the seed is sown it will grow . I've never looked to blame anyone my brain lead me down this road , nature not nurture took it's course . Experimentation comes out of our brain's need to explore what was already there .
We are put in the LGBTQ community because we share one important fact , we were all born as we are . They can no more isolate the gene that makes someone gay than they can someone who is transgender . Gender dysphoria is not down to nurture , for good or bad nature made us this way .
I love your response, Judy. An excellent way to put it and humorous as well. Interestingly, I seem to be in the same phase you are in. It can last a long time - 70 years for me. Hmmm.
I was born this way for sure. I've always been envious of the female physique, softness, beauty, and definitely the fashion choices and desire to look pretty!
Something I've always found curious:
I was born in the '60's, so no "gender reveals." My parents thought that I was going to be a girl and I was even brought home from the hospital to a "Welcome Home Sally" sign.
Could it be that being spoken to in the womb and treated as a girl in my pre-birth life influenced me? Who knows? I just know that I was enamored with Emmy Mae on New Zoo Revue in her pantyhose and boots!!
And when I discovered my mother's clothes I didn't think twice about trying them on!
Probably not born this way but certainly imprinted from a young age.
I only had girls as friends till I was about five.
Work on your elegance,
and beauty will follow.
As far as i can remember i always wanted to wear dresses, makeup and heels. Part of me loves this side of myself but the other hates it lol.. Its just hard when you live in a rural area and want to dress all the time.
I definitely believe at least some are born this way. The first memory I can remember was slipping into my mom's nighties at a very young age, probably 3 or 4. Ever since then I have always had an urge to crossdress and do girly things. Other than just wanting to be like my mom, I'm not sure what else it could be other than having the genes for it.
It is true, the research on brain structure is growing, but pretty solid at this point. The issue is that our society positions us to view it as something that is wrong, or disordered. How one identifies their gender doesn't always indicate their chromosomes; and that is the way our species has been for a very long time. If you think, you can imagine there are some evolutionary advantages for our species to express gender fluidity. We survived because we needed each other as hunter/gatherers and there is a building body of evidence that gender and sex were thought of very differently in those times.Originally Posted by Teresa
I would argue the 'disorder' we experience as a civilization is the irrational fixation on shaming those who identify outside of traditional gender assignments. Shame isn't productive, and you don't deserve it. You have worked hard to build and maintain what and who you are, be proud of that and protect that.
Alana,
I feel we must consider oursleves lucky that we have the freedom to express how we feel , in some countries it could mean prison or worse . Yet in other cultures the dual persona is embraced as something special .
My ex-wife accused me being proud of what I am , to a point I can't deny that but I pointed out that I no longer feel ashamed and guilty for being TG . Personally I do feel we have something a little extra to offer to society if we are allowed the freedom to give it .
To some extent I was probably wired this way at birth. To the other extent I was an only child growing up in a house with a huge female influence. My grandmother and my mom's 2 sisters lived with us so I was surrounded by all things feminine from the beginning. Growing up I was constantly in mom's and my aunt's things, playing dressup. As a kid I would away act out whe mom took me clothes shopping. I really wanted my clothes form the girls section.
- Robin
Because life is too short not to.
I had no external influences that shaped my desire to dress so I figure I must of had some predisposition to this desire.
Teri Ray Rural Idaho Girl.
I was born this way 100%. No one told me that I wanted to be a girl at age 5 however, I knew it was also "wrong" (boys must be boys and do boys stuff) so never said anything to anyone when I was growing up. No one told me to try my first panites on or skirt or dress... I even remeber trying to make toilet paper into panties when I was 10 (or so) as so I could know how it "feels" to be a girl.
I still want to know how it "feels" to be a girl this feeling never goes away and I wish all the time that I was born a girl and get frastrated that I wassnt... but I am who I am and I love being alive to explore who I am...
Do any of you feel this way?
Sorry maybe alittle off topic but yeah I was born this way...
I was. I'm convinced of it.
I, too, feel that I must have been born this way. (I'm TG of some flavor.) As far back as I can remember, I wanted to be a girl and have had stereotypically feminine traits (that I've learned to hide). I imagine we'll eventually find that it's either genetic or related to something going on a bit differently in the womb. That said, it doesn't really matter to me either way. I am who I am and don't see that changing. I could be wrong, of course, but that's where I'd put my money if I were a betting woman.
Dana
The avatar? Yeah, that's definitely FaceApp. Incognito, right?
Teresa,
I absolutely agree. We are so very lucky, and what happens in some parts of the world is backwards and atrocious. A common quote these days is 'Eternal vigilance is the price if liberty.'- Philpot Curran. To whatever degree we can advocate for ourselves and others, in or out of the closet, we must. Where I am, there's still so much to push back against, though progress can be seen. I'm really glad you're at the point of casting shame off, that can't have been a small feat. Enjoy yourself, you're worth it!
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