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Thread: Some of us were born this way

  1. #26
    Rural T Girl Teri Ray's Avatar
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    Jun 2008
    Whew................. discussing how we came to be as we are is exhausting. I, like many here, had many years of self loathing over my desires, feelings and thoughts. I always struggled with the "why" I had these feelings and desires. It took me a long time to finally accept myself as a good person with feelings and desires that do not fit within mainstream normals. Bringing up the why question ( or a similar were we born this way ?) question, for me, requires reliving the thoughts of the past I had finally come to peace with. So with that said I figure I may have been born this way or I could have been conditioned this way through my life events .............. either way it doesn't change the fact I am a crossdresser and that fact is not going to change (I know I have tried). Hopefully my response is not offensive it was not meant to be. Its just how I think and feel. The good news is I am content with who I am no matter how I became who I am. I consider myself to be a lucky thankful person.

    Teri Ray Rural Idaho Girl.

  2. #27
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    S.E.Baltimore Co. Maryland USA
    Hi Steffi, I have been in this program for 74 years now started around 4 years old,

    Having my ears triple pierced is AWESOME, ~~......

    I can explain it to you, But I can't comprehend it for you !

    If at first you don't succeed, Then Skydiving isn't for you.

    Be careful what you wish for, Once you ring a bell , you just can't Un-Ring it !! !!

  3. #28
    Gold Member Lana Mae's Avatar
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    May 2016
    North Carolina
    I am not sure why! I do know that at 4-6 I wanted a dress as my playmate threw hers over her head and I thought that was neat!
    I was born male after my parents lost 3 daughters because of blood pressure problems! It is possible I was born male to survive so my parents could be parents!
    I do not know why for sure! I do know I am happier than I ever was before! I am 24/7/365 and loving it! Being happy is more important than why any day! Hugs Lana Mae
    Life is worth living!
    "Foxy lady! You look so good!!" Jimi Hendrix

  4. #29
    AKA Lexi sometimes_miss's Avatar
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    Nov 2008
    The state of flux, U.S.A.
    Some were born this way, some were not. Some may be genetically caused, some, not. Some affected in the womb by mothers hormones, or perhaps the generation of female hormones at the wrong time. And others, by experiences after being born. Or any combination of the above. The insistence that it's something which is always completely out of control, is just wishful desire that no one is ever to blame. It's understandable; after all, if it might be something avoidable, it would fuel the hater's beliefs that all of us aren't what we should be, and that they must try to reverse the process somehow. Same as with their belief that homosexuality is something that they must find a 'cure' for. All because they can't stand the idea that we exist.

    Still, that doesn't mean that we must ignore all the possibilities, just because of all the morons in the world who can't get their head around the fact that others who are different from themselves, also have the right to exist peacefully and live out our lives the way we want to, as opposed to the way that they want us to.
    Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:
    There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
    Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.

  5. #30
    Platinum Member
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    Oct 2010
    Western Washington
    Quote Originally Posted by Sometimes Steffi View Post
    I've read this really amazing hypothesis about how we could be born this way. And it's not necessarily in our genes. And, the fetal development doesn't take place in one fell swoop; it is staged over the 39 months of gestation.
    I'm surprised none of the GG's caught this. My sympathies are extended to you all. THIRTY-NINE MONTHS! No wonder my mother hated me!

  6. #31
    Member Lori Ann Westlake's Avatar
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    Mar 2021
    This is a fascinating topic in so many ways.

    Quote Originally Posted by Teresa View Post
    I was lead to believe just after conception the natural development is on the female line and at some point some "deviate " to form male parts but the brain as you say does not discern sexuality till sometime after . The problem arises when the physical parts don't fully align with the sexual asignment in the brain , in fact that alignment may never happen as it continues after birth . We may look like a boy but our brains are suggesting something different , that misalignment is not consistent between individuals , this is why we each have a slightly different story to tell , obviously that may be influenced by our environment .
    Yes, by default the embryo will develop as female. It takes "watering" with male hormones to make it grow into a male instead. In Turner's syndrome, where one of two X chromosomes is missing (XO), the embryo develops physiologically and psychologically as female, while suffering from genetic defects including sterility. It seems that at least one X chromosome is needed to survive. As far as I know, nobody ever survived with just a Y chromosome.

    I think it's safe to say that significant sex and gender anomalies just about always boil down in one way or another to variations in the uterine hormonal environment. The question is what caused those variations in the first place. That can be a number of things, certainly including (but not limited to) genetic predispositions. Even if the genes were all perfect at conception, all kinds of "accidents" can happen during gestation. Hormonal supply may be interfered with, or tumors may generate excess testosterone or estrogen, Sometimes medications may have side effects of this kind. One way or another, the upshot is that we end up being born this way.

    Since masculinization requires a continuing and healthy supply of testosterone for the process to complete normally, it's commoner for this process to be disrupted at some stage than it is for a female fetus to be accidentally masculinized. That probably accounts for the fact that there are more male-to-female transsexuals than female-to-male.

    It's likely that the effect of a hormonal anomaly depends on timing, since different parts of the body and brain develop at different times during gestation. So for instance whatever features of the brain are responsible for overall "masculinity" or "femininity," and for a sense of gender identity, may develop at a different time from the mechanism responsible for sexual orientation. So depending on the stage at which a hormonal anomaly occurs, someone born male may be transgender, but entirely "straight," while a gay guy may or may not be "effeminate." He's often completely masculine in other ways. The two traits can be correlated, but are quite independent of one another. Somebody told me a long time ago that 45 percent of male-to-female transsexuals end up "lesbian" in orientation. I can't vouch for that statistic, but maybe somebody else knows.

    Speaking of gayness, another cause of hormonal anomalies can be stress during pregnancy, which lowers the level of male hormones in the uterus. Some researchers decades ago noted that when pregnant rats were subjected to severe stress, male rats born subsequently were sexually attracted to other male rats. An East German researcher named Guenter Doerner apparently devoted his career to studying homosexuality and its causes, and he surveyed 800 gay men, with special attention to their birth dates. He found significantly more were born during the stressful years of World War II, with a spike during the last months of the war when Germany was being invaded and stress and fear were high. I don't know that he ever studied transgender conditions, but it would have been interesting to know if any similar phenomenon occurred regarding gender.

    Quote Originally Posted by Teresa View Post
    The one problem I encountered was after explaining this to my mother , she later rang me very upset because because she felt she was responsible for my gender issues . I eventually persuaded her that it was no one's fault , sometimes nature doesn't stick to the rules , which isn't surprising when you consider how complex a human being is .
    I'm sorry that happened, Teresa, but I'm glad you persuaded your mother that it was never her fault. Mothers are reputed to suffer from a perennial sense of guilt, much of it totally undeserved, I would not have expected her to react the way she did, but she instantly flew to wondering if she "did something wrong" during pregnancy, which I'm sure she didn't.

    That's one of the nice things I like about "natural" explanations. Thinking back, since my crossdressing (like many) started off as "sexual" in nature, luckily I never had to struggle with questions of gender identity or of gayness. For me it was just "why do I have this particular kink?" which I could put down to "fetishism" once I learned about that. It wasn't quite the whole story, but it would do as a placeholder for the time being. But it wouldn't be healthy at all if I started suspecting I was "this way" because of something my parents or someone else "did to me." I think my mother would have preferred a girl. Sometimes when I did something boisterous and naughty as a little boy she would say "Why couldn't I have a nice, quiet little girl instead?" (If boys are boisterous, are girls girlsterous?) However, it didn't matter, because she didn't harp on that theme, and I was loved anyway. But imagine going through life with bitterness and resentment, full of needless blame because "you or they 'made me' this way!" How miserable for everyone concerned, especially myself!

    It wasn't until years later that I started thinking about causes, probably because there was so much social constructionist junk contaminating the field of gender that it wasn't until nearly the end of last century that more reliable research about biological causes began to gain publicity. I guess it had to wait for the technology to advance far enough. Anyway it's far more comforting to be able to say "I was just born this way. It wasn't anybody's 'fault.' It was Nature. Accident or not, it was the way I was meant to be, the way I was all along." I gather from your posts that you feel the same. Good for you!
    Last edited by Lori Ann Westlake; 03-27-2021 at 03:17 AM.

  7. #32
    Aspiring Member jacques's Avatar
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    Sep 2008
    East Yorkshire UK
    hello Steffi,
    it could be conditioning - because for the 9 months before I was born I only wore women's clothing!
    just a thought!
    luv J

  8. #33
    Aspiring Member April Rose's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2017
    In her excellent book, "Sexing the Body" Anne Fausto-Sterling elucidates the seemingly endless variety of ways that hormones affect the development and function of the human body, both physically and behaviorally.

    Having been attracted to women's clothing, and also attracted to other feminine activities, in spite of my deep sense of shame about this throughout my early life, in a social climate that explicitly disparaged it, I am convinced that I was born this way.
    I am a vessel of the goddess. Let me express my calling to a feminine life through nurturing love and relatedness.

  9. #34
    Member rhonda's Avatar
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    Jan 2011
    terre haute , in
    I'm from the old school . where it says you can grow up to be what ever you want to be , that's my opinion , and I could be wrong these days I'm ready to believe about anything

  10. #35
    Member Christie Camelle's Avatar
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    Jul 2012
    Small Town, Alabama
    I am a chimera. At some point during my mother's pregnancy, my "womb-mate" and I merged. Physically, I was born male. My limbic system is completely female. I'm smaller than any of my siblings by close to 100+ pounds. I'm relatively short, standing about 5'8". My parents were expecting me to be either fraternal twins or a girl. My dad even bought a locket to give me when I turned 16 (he passed away when I was only 14 and mom died when I was 16). I had 4 siblings, two of which have died. My older sister (Rest in Peace, hun) knew about how I was. My parents told only her and she got my locket. Anyway, when I was 3 years old, mom dressed my as a girl for Halloween. I wanted to wear a scary mask with the little dress she bought for me. When she asked my why, I told her, "Because I'm a girl monster." I'm 54 now and still feel like a monster sometimes. As I get older and the testosterone level drops, I feel more at home in my body. Not 100%, but more at peace. *hugs*

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