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Thread: How do you manage your needs when there's no option to dress?

  1. #1
    Member CharlotteCD's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2009

    How do you manage your needs when there's no option to dress?

    I'm having a strong pink fog day, and lockdown means I haven't got any option to dress. I know an awful lot of us have been in this situation on/off for the past year, so I'm wondering how you are all managing that need to sort out the disconnection between who you present as and who you really are?

    I've been underdressing on and off, but I don't get any satisfaction from that - I am still hiding who I am, and it's just not me.

    Any suggestions?

  2. #2
    Reality Check Krisi's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2014
    I like to dress and do so as often as I can, but I don't feel I have any sort of "disconnection". I just returned from a week of visiting friends and family. I did not dress and because I was busy with people and things to do, I did not have a problem. If you cannot dress, involve yourself in something else.

    I am home now and dressed as I write this.

  3. #3
    I can only be me Samm's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    The only thing I really do, is sleep in my smaller forms and a girly tee. I know that doesnt really help your situation a whole lot. But when I find myself not being able to present the way I feel, this gives me enough to get me by.

  4. #4
    Aspiring Member DianeT's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2017
    I watch photos from previous sessions. That's one of the reasons I take them. It soothes me and makes me happy to watch them once in a while.
    "There's one thing I don't understand. The thing that I don't understand is every [bleep]-ing thing about crossdressing."
    - The Blimey (or was it?)

  5. #5
    Aspiring Member Geena75's Avatar
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    Mar 2013
    I haven't had a good dress up session since before the first of the year, and not at all for the past month. I look at past photos and browse this site. I've also taken to writing and that has kept the urge in check. As someone said, find something to keep you occupied.

  6. #6
    Platinum Member Karren Hutton's Avatar
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    Aug 2005
    South Western PA
    Think this pandemic has reduced my dressing so much so that I have turned to darker.... kinkier endeavors... not suitable for this forum and we will just leave it at that... it is controlled. Lol.

  7. #7
    Aspiring Member Christie ann's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    out and about
    I am now coming to a 1 year anniversary of not being able to do anything. My wife is not a fan and with the pandemic we spend lots of time together. I keep my sanity by allowing my adventure side to blossom. Isn’t this what we all do to keep our feminine side hidden? But the close call with the avalanche took much of the fun away.

  8. #8
    Aspiring Member TheHiddenMe's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2016
    Metro East area near St. Louis, Missouri
    I cope by looking at the light at the end of the tunnel.

    I am, by nature, an optimist.

    First, I try to count the positives. My family--including my relatives--have avoided contracting the virus. Some of my relatives have gotten at least their first vaccinations. My 27 y/o son, who normally would be a student at Georgia, is currently living with us, so we are getting unexpected time with him. Even with the recent snow and cold, my wife and I are still able to get out and be active, walks, runs, etc. Contrast that with 500,000 dead, power outages in Texas, etc., and on the whole I have it pretty good.

    Plus, I spent about 40 years of adulthood not dressing on a regular basis, so it’s not like this isn't new. I survived those 40 years; I can survive these times.

    Right now I'm trying to keep up my exercise and diet disciplines to dump the stubborn 8 pounds I want to lose, so when my time comes I ready to look fabulous (and so I can perform better in the running races and triathlons that have been on hold for the last year).

    Spring is coming. We just need to be patient and look forward to its arrival.

  9. #9
    Member Joyce Swindell's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    Orlando, Fl
    I would suggest having a friend and using whatever excuse you can to go out and dress with them. There are groups in many larger cities, maybe join one of them.

  10. #10
    Member Charla's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    South Virginia
    Try doing things to reinforce your femininity where possible. Keep your fingernails and toenails manicured and, if possible, painted. Use hand lotion with scent. If you can underdress, wear panties as often as possible. Shave your legs and underarms and hands.

  11. #11
    Gold Member alwayshave's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Washington, DC
    Charlotte, I have not dressed fully in more than a year. I underdress (i.e., panties and camisole) every day under my clothes. Other than that, binging a lot of TV.
    Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Jul 2018
    I just look forward to the day when I can go to the dress shops and cosmetic counters again. I?ll have a bit of a spending spree and looking ahead to that keeps me going at present. The first available day I?ll head for the beauty salon then the shops.

  13. #13
    Aspiring Member Star01's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2018
    I can?t remember the last time I dressed fully but I believe it was the last fall. Going into the pandemic I always dressed when my wife or I were gone overnight. There were more opportunities but that has changed so that when things get going again I will have even fewer chances to dress. It is frustrating but buying too many guitar pedals and some self medication works to keep my sane.

  14. #14
    The Anima Corrupt Wen4cd's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Outer Trannysylvania
    Work out the booty, in tights that you can sort of pass off as boy's?

    Doing femme exercises has been very helpful to several aspects of life.

  15. #15
    Aspiring Member AnnieMac's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    cute panties

  16. #16
    Lady By Choice Leslie Langford's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    near Toronto, Ontario, Canada
    I typically bury my face in a large pillow into which I let out a gut-wrenching primal scream that no one can hear. Works for now, anyway...

    JUST KIDDING, but it does seem like a viable option to help keep the pink fog at bay...

  17. #17
    Junior Member AndieB's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2021
    Western VA
    Strangely enough, I've been able to dress up more during Covid, primarily because of working remote. So I've been pretty fortunate. Before everything happened, it was more difficult for me and found myself slipping into things at night after the spouse went to bed, or when she was out and about. I'm sure in this environment many are struggling and I can only hope it gets better from here with the vaccine and the like.

    Since I can't dress all the time, my favorite thing to do to keep my femme side alive is getting a pedicure. I was able to find a salon that has good practices in terms of Covid safety, one that only accepts appointments and has large screens up between me and the workers. I always get a gel pedicure with a cute color, and the nice thing about it is you can hide it for the most part. It might not be possible for everyone, but it always makes me happy to see my toes painted.

  18. #18
    Senior Member faltenrock's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    This pandemic is difficult for all people - worldwide.

    I have't been able to get out in six weeks, which isn't too bad. My wife starting working again on the first of February, that means I have opportunities four days a week if I want to dress.

    Yes I miss going to clubs dressed and having fun dancing and going out to pubs and restaurants, including shopping.
    All that isn't possible in Germany. Clubs and restaurants have been closed since October, shops since mid December.
    I just look forward to the future and try to make the best of it.

    I also used these ties to clear my closet and sold about five skirts and 30 dresses, sure I got about 10 new dresses during that time.

    Wish you all the best

    My new flickr account has pictures to look at:

  19. #19
    New Member Alana Westenra's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2017
    Quote Originally Posted by Wen4cd View Post
    Work out the booty, in tights that you can sort of pass off as boy's?

    Doing femme exercises has been very helpful to several aspects of life.
    Oh hell ya! Get yourself a resistance band, activate those Glute Mediuses, and do some RDLs. Check out Bret Contreras on YouTube, goes by the 'Glute Doctor'.

  20. #20
    Junior Member lucy_miller's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Yes it?s hard with a family at home, someone is always in. My DADT was established with a always sleep in silk nightdresses clause which has been a life saver. I often run at about 16.00 then put on loungewear over a silk gown. I?ve bought a few extra when feeling particularly stressed. Have also looked into a few herbs that help calm gender issues and finally I?ve started to grow my hair out. My wife is my hair dresser and I?ve been open about my female roll model so there are some wins.

  21. #21
    Exploring NEPA now Cheryl T's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    I dress daily, perhaps not with hair and makeup all the time, but then it's just the wife and I at home so that's fine.
    When I go out nearly all my clothes are women's anyway. Panties only for the last 20 years, my jeans, top, socks and sneakers all from the pretty side of the aisle. I don't really get that feeling anymore that I Have To Dress because I'm always dressed.
    There are times, like this past Sunday, when we aren't going anywhere, just sitting about the house, and yet I felt the desire to get all dolled up for a change. I had to go all out and took my time doing my face and hair, put on my prettiest skirt and top, wanted to feel feminine and donned matching lingerie including a garter belt and stockings and slipped into my best heels. No one was going to know but us. No one was going to see me but her. But I felt I needed to dress up and feel pretty for a change. I guess that's my fog ...
    Wear what makes you feel Confident !

  22. #22
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Western Washington
    It's not just the coronavirus lockdown. It is also my wife has retired. Fortunately, due to medical issues we sleep apart. I am able to wear a nightgown and panty when asleep. Sometimes a bra and hosiery too. She sleep late into the morning. At 9:45 AM I arouse her so she can watch "The View." I'm usually out of bed by 7:30 AM. I don a long bathrobe and hit the computer as I am doing now. If my wife gets up early the length of the bathrobe obscures the nightgown. I have become accustom to wearing a nylon panty during the day.

    I also continue to peruse ebay and retailers for Vanity Fair panties of the styles I wear. As I stated before on this forum I have been collecting discontinued and new colors. Sort of like collecting stamps or coins.

    And, visiting this site several times a day. I am looking forward to the end of covid so my wife can babysit our grandchild overnight at our daughter's apartment. I don't do any of that "grab the crumbs of time" dressing for half and hour, etc. I like the overnight babysitting so I can fully dress, relax and go for an evening drive and stroll.

  23. #23
    Gold Member Helen_Highwater's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Midlands UK
    I'm a rugby fan and one of the things you hear coaches and pundits say is good players play what's in front of them and that's sort of sums up how I live day to day.

    Life throws challenges at us and the only thing you can do is deal with them as best you can at the time. It's been 15 months since I last went out enfemme (but hey who's counting) and 12 since I had any real home alone time. However like Stephanie my SO has health issues and she too stays in bed late so each morning I can be found in skirt and top tidying the kitchen and making her breakfast in bed. After a quick cover up and breakfast delivered I get a bit more time being what I call PF (partially femme) before she finally starts to rise and the covers go on once more.

    This is why I tell folks not to be sorry for me being in the closet. I get these regular little shots in the arm to use a current phrase to boost my spirits and that's what you have to do to keep in touch with this thing that we love to do. Underdressing, chatting to folks here, looking at vids of others from our community on FaceBook and getting really jealous about just how good some look as well as thinking why on earth did you think THAT looked good on you of others.

    If I couldn't do my little PF sessions then so be it. All things will pass and one day Helen will hit the shops once again. I'll get to see others from our community, the breeze will swirl around my knees and I'll be cursing false eyelashes.

    It is what it is, accept it, just get on with life and wait for better days. Stay calm and carry on.
    Who dares wears Get in, get out without being noticed

  24. #24
    Silver Member franlee's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    SE USA
    Not being a smarty but, where there is a will there is a way. It may not be optimal but you should with a little forethought be able to get a quick change in even if it is without makeup. Beats nothing.
    It's worth something just being around to Fuss!

  25. #25
    Senior Member Pumped's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Back when my wife and I were DADT I would dress in the evening after she went to bed. She has always gone to bed an hour or two before me so it worked. She "caught" me once when she couldn't sleep and gave me a little grief. I told her if she didn't want to see me dressed then don't come looking for me! We have a family room in the lower level of our house, the bedroom is in the upper level. She had no reason to come down other than to see me.
    I will admit the DADT didn't last long.

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