Quote Originally Posted by AndieB View Post
That's awesome. Was it just a mental block sort of thing at first that went away after the first time out dressed? Or was it something that told you not to care anymore?

I worry about clamming up and getting nervous to the point where the male side of me becomes too obvious.
It was a bit of both for me, unfortunately. I do gain confidence each time going out, but there's the first time for everything. It was literally my first time out alone, but I was determined and willing to use my love of Vietnamese cuisine lure me out of my comfort zone. After dinner I went to the soiree and met Steffi and so many others and had a great time.

But then the next day I realized that the my choice to attend the event, and my choice to overcome my fear and go into a restaurant dressed, had effectively ended my marriage, my relationship with my wife, and this trickled down to my kid, and it's a bit tragic but I needed to do it.

It was a harsh scene the next day, and led to a lot of pain, and after enough pain you just don't care anymore, or else you grow from it. When I told my family about overcoming my fear and actually getting the confidence to be in public, it was not the confidence they had wanted me to gain. My wife told my daughter, (right in front of me,) that "your father is so selfish that he now forces his fetish (never had a fetish element with dressing, but whatever) on people in restaurants and service positions who are forced to put up with him" and she vowed never to touch me again because I had shaved for the event.

After a few (maybe 5) years of living in a disused back room on a sleeping bag on the floor, crying over the loss of my family's love and connection, I ended up just not caring anymore, so yeah.