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Thread: Open questions

  1. #26
    Aspiring Member
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    MaryAnn, quitting crossdressing and quitting smoking are hugely different. I quit a 2+ pack a day smoking habit cold turkey successfully because I was looking forward to emphysema, other lung diseases, being out of breath, not to mention the expense.

    I have yet to hear of a crossdresser becoming ill or dying from wearing pretty clothes.

    FWIW, Ineke

  2. #27
    Silver Member Sometimes Steffi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Paulie Birmingham View Post
    The people that can and do stop never come back to this board.

    The people on this board either don't want to stop (a very clear majority including me) or can't stop. What kind of answer would you expect from this site?
    And that's why I call it preaching to the choir.

    A statistician would call it a biased sample set.
    Hi, I'm Steffi and I'm a crossdresser... And I accept and celebrate both sides of me. Or, maybe I'm gender fluid.

    Gender fluid (adj.) - Describes a person whose gender identity is not fixed. A person who is gender fluid may always feel like a mix of the two traditional genders, but may feel [more] like one gender some days, and [more like] another gender other days.

    Ref: https://www.lgbthealtheducation.org/wp-content/uploads/LGBT-Glossary_March2016.pdf

  3. #28
    Weirdest woman ever! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    Kirsty, I would say, "Yes"!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  4. #29
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    Thanks for your replies, interesting reading...

    A little context, been doing the CD thing since 9ish and about to hit 50... that?s years not hours 😂

    Realise everyone on this site would be somewhat biased, but what with word of mouth, knowing others, own honest opinions I still thought I?d ask... besides last time I checked there wasn?t a stoppedcrossdesing.com site to log onto 😂

    With 40 years of on off experience I still struggle with the can I, should I emotions mixed with the love of ?the act?

    Would just like to get to a point where I sat on one side of fence or the other

  5. #30
    Platinum Member Teresa's Avatar
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    Kirtsy,
    You hve to consider what's the worse that can happen and even then the worse never really happens .

    It also depends what sitaution sitting on the fence is , if you go the CDing side what would that actually mean to you ?
    The real me , no going back.

  6. #31
    Reality Check Krisi's Avatar
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    If you really want to stop crossdressing, you can. It's entirely up to you.

    If you think you can't stop, it's because you don't want to stop badly enough.
    Krisi

  7. #32
    Aspiring Member jacques's Avatar
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    hello Kirsty,
    Why would we want to stop? We are perfectly normal people!
    Yes it is a blessing, unless we are ashamed of being perfectly normal people.
    Stay healthy!
    luv J

  8. #33
    Aspiring Member Star01's Avatar
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    You bring up an interesting point. I have brought the crossdressers are powerless to stop point up in therapy. My therapist will not commit to an answer when I frame it as a question if it is possible to stop.

    In my case I belonged to a strict R for 25 years. In the 80?s my wife caught me in her lingerie, reported me to the R and I was shunned for what I did for a year. Eventually I left the R in 1999 but I went through a lot that I can?t discuss due to the topic and suffered consequences at the time.

  9. #34
    What a great life
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    This is a part of me, I love fem. eyebrows that is the first thing I look at when I look at a woman face. When I dressed up on Halloween I had a full makeover eyebrows the whole bet and loved it. My eyebrows have grown out but thiner from waxing. Last week I woke up in a very bad mood and the only thing I could think of was my bushy eyebrows.Went to a heigh end cosmetic store and had them waxed and they did a better job then last time very fem. and I love them. It calmed me down so much it's hard to believe. This is very much part of me that I could never stop and I'm in a love-hate state.
    In the 60's it was mom's stuff 70's was buying dresses as dress shops scared to death take them home put them on and ended throughout all my stuff being ashamed and buy more. I thought if I got married the craving would go away but it didn't and ended up in a divorce because it wasn't her bag. This is farther beyond our DNA This heart, soul and mind.

  10. #35
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    Like that reply
    Thanks
    I know it?s a journey, but I?ve been on it now 40 years, like to get out the car eventually 🤔

  11. #36
    AKA Lexi sometimes_miss's Avatar
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    I stopped for about ten years; during that period, I had really believed that either I had outgrown it, or 'beaten' it, as I almost never though about dressing up as a girl during that time. But all that had happened, was the my life was going so good, that I wasn't under much stress, and my subconscious 'buried' the desire to crossdress, as well as any feelings of being female.
    It was a combination of losing my job, and then having to take a job I hated and going back to school full time at the same time, which allowed the crossdressing genie to escape from my subconscious, and demand attention to my female desires. So I guess it really depends on the situation; perhaps if everything else in life goes fine, it's possible that maybe I never would have crossdressed again. But unfortunately, it just didn't work out that way for me.
    Maybe it might, for you.
    Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
    There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
    Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.

  12. #37
    Aspiring Member Star01's Avatar
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    Comparing to quitting smoking and drinking. I quit both but have never been able to completely give up crossdressing permanently. People have heaped praise on me for being strong enough to quit the aforementioned vices. If they only knew my secret of what I cannot quit perhaps they would withdraw their compliments.

    One of my theories, and it can be easily proven, is that my happiness as a crossdresser is in direct proportion to other people?s tolerance. If everybody was cool with it and there were no negative social or financial consequences female clothes would be a larger perhaps exclusive thing. Unfortunately, my wife doesn?t want to see or know about it and I live in an area far removed from any social groups and clubs.

    This is where it comes down to a simple choice, which is more important, family and marriage or my dressing? I chose family and marriage but cannot give up my stealth dressing which still puts me at risk to lose it all. It?s kind of ironic that some of us are so restricted that we cannot measure up to our peers yet we stand to lose the most if we got found out. Those who are open about it and stood up to wives and family have already crossed that bridge. People like myself stand at the bridge and cannot decide if taking the plunge is worth losing it all.

  13. #38
    Member Kelli_cd's Avatar
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    I quit smoking (30+ years ago). I broke a cocaine addiction. I have only been able to last a few months without wearing something femme.
    Though, this is something I don't want to quit. I've just given into it.

  14. #39
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    I think the thing for me is I don't want to stop, I have learned to like me and I love to crossdress, it is a prt of me that I came to find peace with many years ago now

    So I guess the answer for me is it's a blessing

  15. #40
    leggings junkie ellbee's Avatar
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    Aside from those who may have gone through a short, temporary curiosity phase when they were younger...


    I believe a small percentage can & actually do stop.

    For those who do? CD'ing probably didn't originally affect them much, relatively speaking... That they only had a "mild case." Maybe it was even simply more fetish-oriented with a certain article of clothing, compared to the whole enchilada.


    I also believe there may be another subset of those who quit -- and are miserable in life because of that, at least on some levels.

    I'm betting that they (perhaps secretly) struggle internally on a fairly regular basis, erroneously believing that sheer will-power can "defeat" this. Other issues may subsequently arise because of that (substance abuse, working waaaay too much, anger management, etc.).

    It's this group that may very well be a ticking time-bomb. That someday, they won't be able to take it anymore, and the CD'ing will suddenly explode & come roaring back with a vengeance. They may even possibly take it too far than they perhaps should, otherwise, and dive head-first into the world of transitioning.



    As for the blessing versus curse thing? It can be either -- or both.

    Or neither.


    For me these days, it's just another part of myself. I have certain traits & qualities, likes/dislikes, interests, psychological/spiritual wants & needs, whatever. Just who I am.

    I suppose at times it can take on the semblance of being a blessing/curse. But after being in this game for the overwhelming majority of my life, it's just another aspect. Gotta take the bad with the good, and just keep on keeping on.

  16. #41
    Silver Member Devi SM's Avatar
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    It is good you make these questions but find your own answers. As you see everybody here have their own amswers, opinion and comments but some are similar and the more you keep reading or researching you'll find some patterns that fit with your feelings so you can find your answers and finally find your identity because, for me, that's all about it.

    I reach to the point of not blame anybody else neither myself and accept my identity as a bisexual crossdresser and confess everything to my wife because I was looking freedom to be myself.

    Living on that freedom I realize it was not just about dressing (I had the freedom to dress 100 % of the time but at home). I needed to go out and be accepted not just as a crossdresser but as a woman. It wasn't enough because the identity of a person is not what she/he dress.

    I am myself happy transexual woman, and I think that GD is something different for everybody, some don't know they are dealing with it, as was my case was, so I believe that my life, as you think, was cursed, or demon possessed, then I saw like a blessing as being different and unique, but why me?

    The bad new it is that it will never stop and the older you get the stronger it will be (not worse).
    it's related with hormones( and after the 40s testosterone start decaying) so hormones, HRT, helped me to balance all this weirdness in my life and be in peace with me.

    I don't want you to lose the main point of it: it's not about dressing, it's not about a name, it's not about sex, neither about hormones but about identity, and all the mentioned things just helped you as a pain killer help with a pain but the best is to find the cause of the pain....

    Mho

    Devi
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