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Thread: Open questions

  1. #1
    Junior Member
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    Feb 2021

    Open questions

    Hi simple questions, not so easy answer. I have been CD since as far back as I care to remember... still wrestling with the usual issues.
    So do you think a CD can ever stop ? And is it a blessing or a curse ?

    Suppose I should say
    I think I see it as both
    Keep wanting to stop but keep enjoying it too much and find an inner happiness when CD
    Last edited by Kirsty2907; 02-28-2021 at 07:34 AM. Reason: Update

  2. #2
    The Anima Corrupt Wen4cd's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Outer Trannysylvania
    Due to unknown karmatic forces, I have found that seeing it as a blessing will suddenly make the first question seem a bit less relevant.
    And so we go, on with our lives...
    We know the Truth, but prefer Lies.
    Lies are simple, simple is Bliss.
    Why go against tradition, when we can admit defeat,
    Live in Decline, be the victim of our own design?

  3. #3
    Gold Member Crissy 107's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2018
    Maryland, USA
    No, I do not believe we can stop, we can take breaks but the desire is in us and will never go away.
    For myself it is a blessing, it makes me happy and we all need more happiness right now

  4. #4
    Banned Read only
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    I know you don't mention your age or marital status so your question could be answered in different ways .

    If you take a look at the threads running questioning if it's genetic or not you may get a more balanced answer .

    At times many of us may go through the notion it's a curse , some argue you can stop . So much depends if you have dysphoria and how bad it is , some find it waxes and wanes they may go weeks , months or even years thinking it's behind them then out of the blue it hits them again . No one can fully explain why but it's probably best to consider it doesn't go away so you will have to find ways to live with it .

    I had a gut feeling 24/7 that something wasn't right so finally I now live full time as Teresa , I no longer wish it had gone away because I'm so much happier and content . Would I go as far to say it's a blessing ? Perhaps I would now because my life is in balance , I no longer have to pose myself these questions .

  5. #5
    Aspiring Member MonicaPVD's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2018
    New England
    In my case, I tried many times to stop in the past. A few times I went for years without dressing, convinced that I had overcome the desire. Wrong. It never went away. I learned to manage it, to find alternative outlets, but being Monica is ingrained in my DNA, in my mind and in my heart. Of course I could stop again, but I would be profoundly unhappy as a human. Why would I want that? I don't see it as either a blessing or a curse, it's simply a part of the complex human that I am. I didn't ask to be this way but it's me and I'm alive right now. Got to get busy living.

  6. #6
    Miss Conception Karren Hutton's Avatar
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    Aug 2005
    South Western PA
    It is a curse... and it never stops so accept it and figure out how to enjoy it... that is what I did and it worked... for the last 6 decades.

  7. #7
    Senior Member Jean 103's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2013
    Central Coast, CA
    It would depend on your definition of the words, stop and CD.

    Like if you're talking about the act of wearing clothes then, yes.

    If you're referring to a state of being then, no.

    The last question depends on your point of view.

  8. #8
    Aspiring Shopaholic BTWimRobin's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2019
    Dor the better part of my life I thought it was a curse. I would experiment a here and there and think boys are not supposed to do this and stop. While the desire to dress has always been with me, I stopped acting on it. Two years ago it hit me like a ton of brick and I decided to accept this was never going away. I acted on it and started dressing. I've seem to find some kind of inner peace when dressed and have realized it's a blessing.
    - Robin

    Because life is too short not to.

  9. #9
    Always been a GIRL. Michelle1955's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2017
    Texas Hill Country
    You stated “inner happiness” and your profile does not provide any additional information such as age and martial status.

    The inner happiness statement tells me it is more than just cross dressing in my opinion.
    Clothing can be fun, or just required (inner happiness) it is clothing ultimately. Casual clothing blends into most activities.

    You will have to ultimately determine where you are on the transgender spectrum. Transgender is a broad spectrum is basically all in compassing and CD is just one aspect, you will have to decide how much of the spectrum you are. This forum is a very good place to learn and their is a lot of advice, take it in then you have to decide where you fit in we are all somewhat different.

    I’m 65 years old, been crossdressing for at least 60 of those years. In my opinion I was born with the desire to be female.
    For my inner happiness to be managed, I got have at least one from of female clothing on 24/7 to have the calming effect I need.

    I do not need to dress up to the nine’s, to manage my needs it can be as simple as panties, bra, forms on most days and just working in the yard / garden being casual. Outer clothing can be a mix depending on what I am doing, it about managing my inner happiness.

    Curse, born in the 1950’s yes definitely a curse. But society is constantly changing so not so much a curse these days.

  10. #10
    Aspiring Member Star01's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2018
    I do not believe that it is possible to stop. My current situation tells why I think that I cannot stop.

    Still semi locked down in a DADT.
    Gained too much weigh this past year.
    Family lake home sold so I can?t get away or be home alone with a free place to stay.
    Put off replacing vehicle and went a year too long, it?s not reliable and without wheels I am DOA.
    I could list more challenges but I think it is obvious that I have an uphill battle just to get back to where I was.

    In spite of those challenges plus my age I shave and underdress daily. One might think I would give up but we got a treadmill and I am down ten pounds so far looking forward to shopping and dressing again. Vaccination will be any day now and after that buying a newer second vehicle. The obstacles will eventually fall one by one and I plan on coming back better than ever.

    I have found that the best way to deal with challenges is to have patience and meet them head on. It will take a while but some say that we will follow with a Roaring Twenties so I am looking forward to that.

  11. #11
    Member Georgia_Maine's Avatar
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    Jun 2012
    Metro Denver, CO
    I look at my gender variance / CDing similar to being left handed. If asked I imagine most left handed people would prefer to be right handed if only because most tools, etc. are designed for right handed people. Is it possible to change? Yes, but it is extremely difficult and for most all left handed people not worth the effort. CDing, like being left handed, may cause problems but certainly is not a curse nor a blessing. It is just who we are.
    Georgia (Gigi) Maine

  12. #12
    Gold Member alwayshave's Avatar
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    Dec 2011
    Washington, DC
    I don't believe I could ever stop and at this point don't want to.
    Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".

  13. #13
    Rural T Girl Teri Ray's Avatar
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    Jun 2008
    Nothing in life is absolute. Your question was "can a Crossdressser ever stop?" "Can?" yep it can be done; human beings are capable of doing amazing things under the right circumstances. But is it likely? I say nope. Based on my own experience and the information I have gleened from others in this forum is that the odds of someone quitting crossdressing (who is really a crossdresser) and stop forever is crazy low.

    Is crossdressing a blessing or a curse? I think there is no generic answer for everyone on this one. So my answer is yes, it will be either depending on your individual life experience.

    The real thing you got right on this question was that its not easy to answer.
    Teri Ray Rural Idaho Girl.

  14. #14
    Join Date
    May 2008
    St Louis, MO
    The only curse for me is that I cannot share this openly. Otherwise It is a blessing.

  15. #15
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Lowestoft UK. Beverley was here.
    Maybe a curse, I wonder what mylife would have been like otherwise.

    Been at it since about five.

    Had fun all the way.
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  16. #16
    Silver Member CynthiaD's Avatar
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    Jul 2011
    Blessing definitely. I can stop whenever I want. Why would I want to?

  17. #17
    Member Jacqueline Vivaldi's Avatar
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    Dec 2014
    Many years ago I purged all of my outfits three times. Since then I get so much joy and pleasure out of being Jacqueline that I feel very blessed. This condition has existed also for many years and I can see myself growing into a more lovely creature with each day. Just be joyful and let yourself be natural. For me I will never let it go away, because this is who I am and the person I want to be.

  18. #18
    New Member Maggie3210's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2019
    St. Louis, MO
    Curse or Blessing?
    It has been a blessing during stressful times. For me, I find dressing is a stress relief after rough day, maybe it is a escape from the reality of my male life to a fantasy life when dressed up since I am primarily "in the closet".
    It is a blessing to feel comfortable wearing women's clothes. The beautiful styles colors and materials are so different from most men's clothes, and feel soft and wonderful against the skin.
    It is a blessing when dressing makes me feel happy and peaceful.
    It is a curse when dressing makes me feel conflicted and different, like I don't fit into my place in society.
    It is a curse when it brought emotional pain and distress to my wife who was only slightly tolerant of dressing. While we always maintained a strong love for each other, she certainly did not accept my desire to dress, and I know it distressed her sometimes.
    So Yes, for me it definite has been both a Blessing and a Curse

  19. #19
    Exploring NEPA now Cheryl T's Avatar
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    Feb 2006
    Can someone stop?
    I'm sure someone can, but I certainly can't and don't want to. I've come to accept the woman I am and believe that all of the better qualities of my personality are attributable to my feminine side. I feel so much more comfortable as a woman and expressing all those qualities in that way.
    Is it a blessing?
    Yes, I believe it is. It has opened so much more of the world to me. I've experienced and enjoyed things I never would have otherwise. I think it's those that don't understand how we feel that believe it to be a curse.
    Wear what makes you feel Confident !

  20. #20
    Senior Member GretchenM's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2016
    Denver, Colorado
    You can stop, but it is unlikely you will like the result. Your need is most likely a part of who you are and denying it is part of denying yourself which is usually not a particularly great idea. But the behavior, like all behaviors, can be managed to be reasonably comfortable in most situations. It is a part of your sense of self and drives what kinds of behaviors and physical expressions you use to tell others something about yourself and who you are.

    Is it a blessing or a curse? Depends on your point of view AND the point of view of you that others have. So, it can be both in the social world depending on the expectations others have for what they think is right for you. Ideally everybody should accept everybody else and have no expectations at all. AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN! But you have the final say in what is right for you. However, morals and ethics are still critical to being a successful human in the human world.

    Accepting within yourself who you are can bring a great deal of personal happiness. But if it creates unhappiness in others then some adjustments may be needed and the adjustments need not be traumatic. Compromising is an art and we gender variant people are often really good at it because, in some environments, it is the way we survive being different in sometimes very significant ways. Unfortunately, compromise doesn't always work, especially if you have to compromise yourself into being someone you are not. That never ends well for anybody. It is a balancing act.

  21. #21
    Join Date
    Sep 2019
    The people that can and do stop never come back to this board.

    The people on this board either dont want to stop (a very clear majority including me) or can't stop. What kind of answer would you expect from this site?

    Tg and some other issues aside, I do think one can stop buying pantyhose, opening the package and putting them on. There are many mental and physical calculations that one goes through to do that. Most women dont wear pantyhose so it can be done.

  22. #22
    Aspiring Member Geena75's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    The answer to the second question will determine the answer to the first.

    Is it a blessing or curse? How do you feel when doing it as compared to when you are not doing it. Is the total impact on your life a real positive, negative, or neutral? One one hand, is it like playing a musical instrument that makes you feel good, and enriches your free time. If it does not negatively impact your family life or take you away from other important aspects of life, it is truly a blessing. On the other hand, is it more like alcohol which can turn into a destructive behavior that you regret, or hurts your family, or makes one irresponsible. Kept in check (a glass of wine on occasion) it can be a blessing. Run out of control, it is definitely a curse. It all depends on the individual.

    Consequently, if it is a blessing, then you are not likely able to quit, nor should you. If it is a curse, it is probably something you should make the effort to give up, and keep giving up. Most likely, it lies somewhere in between, and remain something that you control according to your circumstances. Once again, I marvel at my ability to say both yes and no. Like J.D. Salinger once said, I don't have the answers, I just have the questions.

  23. #23
    Sort of a n00b Pixie_94's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2017
    Costa Rica
    At least from my experience:

    1. I'm not sure yet, I have been looking for a way to fo so for years. Always without success.

    2. A curse, one I don't know what to do with, it doesn't even serve for any trolling or anything hillarious, only embarassing situations.

  24. #24
    Member MaryAnn1963's Avatar
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    Feb 2020
    Mid West
    Well, My wife says it is no different than smoking & one can quit any time they want... I have never smoked so I cannot say she is right or wrong. I however KNOW that I cannot quit and have even a small resemblance of happiness. Curse/blessing... both.
    The Pink Fog is thick with this one....

  25. #25
    Aspiring Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2016
    You can't stop "being". You may be able (or not... depends on the individual) to stop "doing".

    Curse or not depends on your state in life. I'm married to someone hostile to it. So I would have to say "curse" in my particular circumstances.
    Last edited by JeanTG; 02-28-2021 at 08:36 PM.

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