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Thread: Simple sound advice

  1. #1
    Gold Member Helen_Highwater's Avatar
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    Simple sound advice

    I stumbled across this vid on FB.

    It addresses the debate between passing and blending and how to approach it. I thought it provided sound advice to those considering going out.

    There are other vids by the same person but I'll leave you to find those.
    Who dares wears Get in, get out without being noticed

  2. #2
    Aspiring Member Sandi Beech's Avatar
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    Helen,

    I have been thinking about that topic a bit lately and for me it depends completely on where I am going. If I were to go to the mall I might want to blend in, but if I am out clubbing - I thrive on the attention. So I go for whatever I can get away with. On the other hand I would not get caught dead wearing a clubbing outfit to the grocery store. I like to match the dressing to the venue.

    As I recall I think it was Julie Slowinski who said something about wanting to be noticed. That is what made me realize I like being noticed as well. For better or worse.

    Sandi

  3. #3
    Gold Member alwayshave's Avatar
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    Helen, thanks for posting. I'm not going to pass. I like to dress up, so I'm not going to blend.
    Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".

  4. #4
    Sunshine Gal AngelaYVR's Avatar
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    I’m still waiting for the everyone else to get their act together and dress to blend in with me!

  5. #5
    Silver Member Micki_Finn's Avatar
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    I’m with Sandi on wanting the attention, but I suppose that’s why I’m a Drag Queen.

  6. #6
    Weirdest woman ever! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    I'd much rather look good than blend!

    I can't pass anyway. Except at costume events. So, when I dress I avoid vanilla venues!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  7. #7
    Member MonicaPVD's Avatar
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    Sometimes you want to blend in, other times you want to draw attention. Depends on context. The person in the video looks good and offers sound advice.

  8. #8
    Gold Member Helen_Highwater's Avatar
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    I felt the crux of the video was aimed at those hovering on going out. Those first times out shopping for most are a nerve racking experience certainly for the first few minutes. Hence knowing how to take those first steps and gain confidence is an important skill.

    I'll put on a more stylish dress, heavier makeup, heels to match for the right time and place but as is often said, killer heels and a micro skirt will get you noticed if you're in the fresh produce Isle of a supermarket. If you desire that attention and can cope with any possible outcome then go for it. However for those going out for the first few times, being anonymous in a crowd is IMHO the way to go and the advice offered will certainly facilitate that.

  9. #9
    What a great life
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    Tanks for the video good advice.

  10. #10
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    Helen,
    I've already been aware of Sydney from Rogina suggesting we take a look in the NB section .

    Most of her suggestions I'd worked out for myself some three years ago but that doesn't mean we can't get things wrong but that applies to GGs as well .

    Obviously we are talking about comfortably stepping out the door , lets face it we are trying to emulate women so we have to consider levels women go to in daily life .

    Sydney calls it , " not being noticed " I call it integrating but I do agree with other comments that sometimes we do want to be noticed but that also applies to women .

    To turn the " passing " label around , I don't like being seen in male mode anymore so I prefer not to pass as a man but that doesn't mean I will pass as a woman but if I tick enough boxes to be comfortably accepted then that is all I can hope for . We must also consider there is a difference to being accepted by the public and being accepted by other members of the TG community , too much cheerleading isn't always a good thing . Being told to "go for it girl !" and then falling flat on your face or running for the hills can really take some coming back from .

  11. #11
    Member jessica33's Avatar
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    I always wear office attire while in public . If it means not blend in that is ok by me .

  12. #12
    Platinum Member Karren Hutton's Avatar
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    I wear what I like to wear out enfemme .. that does not include what women normally wear to the mall. Aka womens jeans!! Big thing is to not care what others think.

  13. #13
    Member jessica33's Avatar
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    Karen , Not being care what other thinks . I like your attitude .

  14. #14
    Member Liz Jones's Avatar
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    Sounds like another Rachel Rollins.....

  15. #15
    Platinum Member Shelly Preston's Avatar
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    This has always been a balancing act.

    Firstly you have to consider where you are going

    Walking in the park
    Grocery shopping
    Dinner
    Nightclub

    There will always be some overlap in certain activities

    You would not dress up for a nightclub then go for groceries as you might be noticed too much.

    The time of day may change that if your visiting a friend and you just pop in for a small gift on the way.

    Also you can be dressed in smart office wear during the day you could be going for an interview or going home.


    You just need to choose what you think is best.
    Shelly

    Super Moderator....How to tell your partner......Abbreviations

  16. #16
    The Anima Corrupt Wen4cd's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sandi Beech View Post
    Helen,

    I have been thinking about that topic a bit lately and for me it depends completely on where I am going. If I were to go to the mall I might want to blend in, but if I am out clubbing - I thrive on the attention. So I go for whatever I can get away with. On the other hand I would not get caught dead wearing a clubbing outfit to the grocery store. I like to match the dressing to the venue.
    But seeing as we're living in the times we are living in, the potato chip aisle at the Walmart supercentre is the now place to be, in clubbing gear. I like my dystopias to be a bit surreal anyway.
    And so we go, on with our lives...
    We know the Truth, but prefer Lies.
    Lies are simple, simple is Bliss.
    Why go against tradition, when we can admit defeat,
    Live in Decline, be the victim of our own design?

  17. #17
    Exploring NEPA now Cheryl T's Avatar
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    I too wear what I enjoy wearing, but at the same time I don't push the issue just to wear a particular outfit.
    No stiletto heels and minis to WalMart or the grocery store. Certainly no jeans and sneakers to the club for a night out either. Maybe I'm just getting older, but I really just want to be one of the gals anymore.
    Pass?? Probably not unless it's a dark club and I've really taken the time on my makeup and hair. And then only if they've had a couple ... LOL. It's not my concern any longer. I am what I am (thanks Popeye) and others will just have to deal with it.
    Wear what makes you feel Confident !

  18. #18
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    Once I presented with just noticeable perky boobs looking at bras, the SA suggested I should wear a decollete bra and use some padding.

    She was apologetic and said I was attractive but I did need to protrude more to enhance my figure.

    I took her advice and wore larger inserts from then on.

    I was twenty at the time and my figure is not as cute now as it was then. :-)
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  19. #19
    leggings junkie ellbee's Avatar
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    Easy shortcut to this? Wearing women's clothes out in public -- while presenting as your guy-self!

    All while not drawing too much attention to yourself, of course.


    Right off the bat, to some dismay, that's probably gonna rule out dresses, skirts & noisy heels.

    So, some kind of pants/slacks, leggings, jeans, joggers, etc., instead.


    Colors & prints? Up to you & your comfort/confidence levels, but perhaps stick with things more on the plain side, in masculine and/or neutral colors.

    Do it. From head to toe. You'll probably look like a femmy guy, but whatever.

    Now go run some errands/out to eat/whatever, dressed like that.



    My outfit right now, for example, while in guy-mode? Black pullover hoodie, darker medium-gray leggings, black sporty slip-ons (Skechers).

    I've worn this type of outfit countless times out in public. Yes, I got *some* attention... But also a lot of people just not really caring or even noticing. Oftentimes flying under the radar.

    (And yes, it totally works with the following...)


    Then, take it one step further to complete that final look...

    With your outfit as described earlier? Simply throw on some body enhancements (fake boobs/hips), a wig, and some makeup.


    Voila! Now you're ready to blend as a GG in many situations & environments.

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