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Thread: PSA: Outed by Alexa?

  1. #1
    Member CharlotteCD's Avatar
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    PSA: Outed by Alexa?

    A warning to those of you who shop with Amazon and own an Alexa.

    Mine started flashing yellow, the sign it has a notification. Generally this has been to tell me that a band I follow has new songs out, or that my account is due to renew and subscription.

    Today however, my wife noticed it was flashing and started to ask what the notification was. I jumped in quickly just in case it was something relating to her mother's Day present.

    When she left the room shortly after, I put the volume down and asked for the notification, and got the follow response:

    "last month you purchased brand women's hipster briefs, would you like to rate them out of five stars"

    There's no getting around that in a DADT relationship. I'm so lucky I was in the room, and Alexa didn't slap my wife with an unwanted truth.

    So for those of you with an Alexa, go into the app on your phone, select settings, notifications, shopping, and then switch them all off!

  2. #2
    Member SirDonna's Avatar
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    If in DADT, why not uninstall Alexa. Garbage app anyway as it collects too much

  3. #3
    Member CharlotteCD's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SirDonna View Post
    If in DADT, why not uninstall Alexa. Garbage app anyway as it collects too much
    It's an echo device that gives the audio notification, not an app, and it's far from garbage for how my family use it.

  4. #4
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    There are many ways to be 'outed' by the internet. If I peruse any store I always get an email about something I may have looked at. I have an ad blocker but it seems retailers or the internet gets around it. If I am enticed to look at something and click on it the internet host gets some few pennies which ad up. Even on the msn page I get little notes about items I may be interested in. I frequently get emails asking me to rate something I purchased. Fortunately, my wife and I do not share any accounts. If she were so inclined and delved into our JCPenny or Macy's account she would see prior purchases of fem articles of clothing along with household products. I do not have Alexa. The last thing I need is another voice in the house.

  5. #5
    Gold Member Helen_Highwater's Avatar
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    Charlotte,

    My big gripe with new tech is that it tries to help too much. Windows telling me it can organise my life for me, integrate this or that. Aarh I can do it myself thank you!

    It's been discussed here recently about using private browsing as one way of limiting intrusion while shopping online.

    Amazon is another site that can out you with it's, "Buy again" and recently looked at features. I now make sure I delete my recent browsing regularly as well as archiving femme items I've bought.

    The machines are taking over!

  6. #6
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    Helen, I agree with you whole heartedly.
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  7. #7
    Platinum Member Teresa's Avatar
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    Helen,
    While it's no longer a problem for me , I'm sure some will be caught out by items placed in the shopping trolley but not purchased and it's flagged up on Emails etc..

    I also find it hard to avoid signing up for Amazon Prime , I ordered some Lego sets for my grandsons as Xmas gifts , I know I missed ticking the Prime box but I still had a notification telling me a payment was due at the end of the month , OPTING OUT means just that but I've had this problem with Amazon before over this issue .
    Last edited by Teresa; 03-01-2021 at 06:24 AM.
    The real me , no going back.

  8. #8
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    I personally use different amazon account for femme purchases, different email address, different browser and clear cache on exit. There is still some linking that can happen, ads showing dresses on my normal browser, normally this is where a cache hasnt cleared.

    I'm not suggesting my approach is a good idea by the way just an option.

  9. #9
    Platinum Member Teresa's Avatar
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    Charlotte,
    Another issues I was caught out with was when I first joined the forum I ticked the box not to use my Email address . At that time I was sharing a laptop with my wife even though we had differnt Email addresses .

    The problem can arise when your PM box is full , sometimes the only way you realise is notification from Cders. com as an Email . I can vividly remember sitting next to my wife checking my Emails with her occasionally glancing over my shoulder when I noticed the message .
    The real me , no going back.

  10. #10
    Member Shiny's Avatar
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    This is Orwells' 1984 for sure. I do not carry an iPhone (so info can't be stolen and I can't be followed) or have Alexa or Siri. I dislike computers too. I just got a new TV set and heard that they have put cameras behind the screen to monitor you 24/7! And this is true! Think about it. You got rid of cable but are now plugged into the internet! You can be watched easily now. And the NSA taps all phones too! I do my best to stay low or no tech. Check the tops of your computer monitors, see the pin-hole camera and the little microphone hole? I immediately cover these with black electricians tape! It's a shame what our world has become but with being ultra careful you can survive. All computer-tech devices spy on you to some extent and if they are plugged into the net that becomes a dangerous certainty!

  11. #11
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    This is indeed a problem. My wife and I both shop online with Soma. I have a separate account that I set up with Soma, with it's own email address. I recently purchased a red satin nightie with matching panties. The follow up request for a review on these items was sent to my wife's email address. Fortunately I saw it and deleted it before she saw it. You can never be too careful these days.

  12. #12
    Member MonicaPVD's Avatar
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    If you are in a DADT situation, technology is not your friend. Have burner accounts that have no interaction with your regular ones, to make your purchases. Repeat. Technology is not your friend. It's bad enough that we are on video somewhere from the moment we step outside until the moment we return.

  13. #13
    Reality Check Krisi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shiny View Post
    This is Orwells' 1984 for sure. I do not carry an iPhone (so info can't be stolen and I can't be followed) or have Alexa or Siri. I dislike computers too. I just got a new TV set and heard that they have put cameras behind the screen to monitor you 24/7! And this is true! Think about it. You got rid of cable but are now plugged into the internet! You can be watched easily now. And the NSA taps all phones too! I do my best to stay low or no tech. Check the tops of your computer monitors, see the pin-hole camera and the little microphone hole? I immediately cover these with black electricians tape! It's a shame what our world has become but with being ultra careful you can survive. All computer-tech devices spy on you to some extent and if they are plugged into the net that becomes a dangerous certainty!
    I don't believe that we are being monitored by our TV sets, but if you can supply proof, I am certainly willing to learn.

    As far as cameras and microphones on computers, they are there for a purpose and you can turn them on and off at will. No need to put electrician's tape on them.

    Yes, you can be tracked by your cell phone, but unless you are committing serious crimes, nobody cares and nobody is tracking you.

    As far as DADT situations, my understanding is that this means your wife knows but doesn't want to see or hear about it. If she finds out you bought something feminine, it shouldn't be a surprise to her. If you are hiding your dressing from an unsuspecting wife, these notifications could be a problem. You'll have to be more careful with online shopping.
    Last edited by Krisi; 03-01-2021 at 08:32 AM.
    Krisi

  14. #14
    Platinum Member Shelly Preston's Avatar
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    This may have been posted but I can't be sure

    I remember a recent story of someone who had a conversation with a colleague that was unexpected.

    There colleague ask if they had decide on which curtains to buy (or similar). To which the reply was how do you know we were discussing curtains.

    It turned out that Alexa had called his colleague while him and his wife were discussing the subject, and they had no idea.

    Can you imagine the fall out if they had been discussing his choice of skirt.

    Technology can be too clever sometimes.
    Shelly

    Super Moderator....How to tell your partner......Abbreviations

  15. #15
    Aspiring Member Star01's Avatar
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    Your experience underscores why I never shop online. These days even searching through things could potentially make them pop up as ads it seems on any device on the home network. Advertisers are one step ahead of us looking for add content to present and that doesn?t even touch on notifications like the one you mention.

    In my case I set my wife up for online sales as far back as 2,000. I explained how to scan and size photos and got her going online. Today she buys and sells and all the bills come through here. She even has it setup where if either of use makes a purchase she gets notified on her phone. In most cases that is a security protection...except when one is a stealth crossdresser it becomes a liability and forced cash purchases.

    Even things like online searches are done with caution always using a private browsing session. That is how I avoid online shopping problems, I don?t do it.

    [SIZE=1]- - - Updated - - -[/SIZE]

    PS, so that nobody wastes their time suggesting that I get a cash card and drop box allow me to clarify things. My vehicle, an old van, is shot and has bad tires. I had intended on junking it and buying my retirement vehicle last spring until everything locked down. I had a set of used tires put on it and kept it as I am not driving anywhere. The intent is to get the vaccine then go down to the showroom and treat myself to something reliable. That still won?t solve my shopping and dressing problems. We have been home for almost a year together and see each other?s every move. It?s only natural that after me not going places for a year that my wife will ask where I am going. Obviously right now there is no alibi for me to go anywhere. Suggestions on how to get out will fall on deaf ears, I know our household dynamics and the only viable solution is that I wait a while longer.

  16. #16
    Member SirDonna's Avatar
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    Amazon is not your friend. If in DADT and wanting an echo device instead of using spotify or other streaming service, the shop at locations other than Amazon. Amazon has changed since Jeff left and is starting to use the information it collects.

    Want to be scared of 1984? See how the tech companies have now ganged up and are working to embed user and location data into photos and other data sharing files, like docs, spreadsheets and PPT presentations.

  17. #17
    Princess Candice candykowal's Avatar
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    Tech can be scary. I have bought perfume, bras and panties at JC Pennys and Kohls on-line, to pick them up at the drive up.
    If those stores are shopped on-line by my wife, they know Candy and my wife are related, even though I have a dedicated debit card for Candy only.
    I believe they know by the IP used though our internet provider and/or thru a credit rating service.
    I might have gave a birthday and the store might use that info to suggest to my wife, in an e-mail, it is Candices birthday!
    Last time she bought these bras and perfume, you may want to send her a gift!
    Not knowing who Candice Kowal is...she might google the name and find pictures of her husband in drag below her favorite wall hanging!
    I am pretty out there in cyber space.
    So if you do "ANYTHING" with a computer as your feminine self, you better be ready to be outed.
    Though I am in a DADT relationship, I know she is not dumb...and I am not very smart.
    I am ready to accept that fate, whatever happens, good or bad....are you?
    Candice Coleen Kowal ....all my friends call me Candy!

  18. #18
    Member CharlotteCD's Avatar
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    I didn't realise that tin foil hats were a crucial part of the crossdressers wardrobe.

  19. #19
    Silver Member CynthiaD's Avatar
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    Tin foil hats? No, certainly not. Tin foil bras? Oh yeah!

  20. #20
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    My wife's hinted that she's seen ads that seem targeted to my interests. We do not use the same computers or even the same operating systems. All we share is a common DSL line. Apparently that is enough to link us.

  21. #21
    Crossdresser Taylor186's Avatar
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    Thanks for the tip Charlotte. I'm not DADT but I turned off all notifications, except delivered. Though my wife is generally tolerant of my occasional CDing, I prefer to minimize flaunting it unnecessarily.
    Last edited by Taylor186; 03-01-2021 at 12:37 PM.

  22. #22
    The Anima Corrupt Wen4cd's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shiny View Post
    Check the tops of your computer monitors, see the pin-hole camera and the little microphone hole? I immediately cover these with black electricians tape!
    I often just leave mine broadcasting live onto my discord server so that any of my friends can watch me working out.,trying on clothes, sleeping, etc, whenever.

    Usually no one does, but I always expect to hear one of them chuckle or comment out of nowhere, having been watching my feed quietly.

  23. #23
    Aspiring Member Territx's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CharlotteCD View Post
    It's an echo device that gives the audio notification, not an app, and it's far from garbage for how my family use it.
    I agree Charlotte!
    I am what I am and also what I am not!

  24. #24
    Weirdest woman ever! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    Sometimes I'm glad I'm an old fuddy duddy!
    As I watch the younger masses enslaved by their phones and other "cool new" devices!

    I continue to use my phone as a phone, period! And even then, refuse to respond to every call or text that comes in on it!

    Never mind having to respond to every nuisancy clickding or pop up that would come in online!
    Last edited by Di; 03-02-2021 at 09:14 AM.
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  25. #25
    Member CharlotteCD's Avatar
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    Good for you, I'm glad you're an old fuddy duddy and us young people are so terrible.

    Alexa, play my music playlist. Alexa, play the radio. Alexa, turn the heating on when my phone gets to within 5 miles of home.

    Gosh, I really am enslaved with all of these awful features that not only make my life easier, but help the environment as well. So awful
    Last edited by Di; 03-02-2021 at 05:43 AM. Reason: She did not say you were wrong or stupid, why make personal?

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