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Thread: Consequences of coming out

  1. #26
    Aspiring Member Star01's Avatar
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    After reading through the responses all I can think is that I am glad that I am not obsessed with coming out as a CD. The time it would take to get all dolled up to run to the auto parts store and feed milk would be a pain in the neck.

  2. #27
    Aspiring Member josie_S's Avatar
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    firstly, lol @ star's reply. because I would *want* to be all dolled up even if only to go get my tires rotated and then get milk at the grocery store...I'd never get any errands done bc I'd spend too much time getting dolled up hahaha

    me personally i don't have children and I'm already mostly estranged from my family for unrelated reasons, so to me the consequences would most likely be professional and social, which could be very hurtful, and so I am not coming out any time soon and do my cd business out of town if not at home.

  3. #28
    Member Vale's Avatar
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    Another thing to remember here is that people change over time. Someone you feel sure will keep your secret may change. A classic example was my first wife. During our Marriage she was supportive and very secret. When she decided to divorce me she did a full 180 turn and told all of our family and friends. Back then (30 years ago) it was a bigger problem for me than today. Sometimes you have to accept some risk but it makes sense to minimize your exposure. Be smart.

    Vale

  4. #29
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    Hi Sara, I completely get your point, . One thing you said made me think:

    "Personally? I don't feel the need to keep what I do a deep dark secret, but for the sake of family peace I don't show it to the world. If someone finds out, so be it."

    Rather than thinking about reasons to come out I am more thinking about why do I need to keep this a secret. Today my mentality is to hide it at all costs and I am starting to question why I am doing this. As I said in another post I have different email accounts for anything femme related. Youtube videos on how to do makeup I wouldnt dare have on my main profile. I pretty much feel I am ashamed of this side of me, and as long as I keep both parts of me completely isolated from one another I cant see that changing.

    If I was asked a direct question about crossdressing I would probably outright lie about it.

    Made me think, thank you

  5. #30
    Aspiring Member DianeT's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Teresa View Post
    Diane,
    I do feel using the term " guilty pleasure " doesn't help if Maria does have GD , we shouldn't be made to feel guilty over something that's part of us and have little control over until we find a balance , being buried in the closet is like purgatory to some people .
    Teresa, nobody is making anybody guilty. My definition of guilty pleasure is the following : https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Guilty_pleasure. Which if you ask me is a very good definition of crossdressing. Something you enjoy and that is not highly regarded (well that's even an understatement..,). Guilty pleasure can also be an addiction to chocolate.
    Also, this section of the board is titled "Something crossdressers", I am a crossdresser and I answered to Maria as a crossdresser. You are a TG (I think), and answer as a TG with your own sensitivity. Allow me to do the same. At least now Maria has both sides of the coin.
    And for the record, I said enough in these forums that I absolutely never felt once guilty in my life for the dressing and that neither anyone should. Just rehashing this here in case Maria doesn't know me well and gets doubts with your post.
    Sorry for the sidetracking.
    Last edited by DianeT; 03-03-2021 at 05:47 PM.

  6. #31
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    Hi Diane,

    Your first comment hit the nail on the head as to why anyone other than my wife now knows. She wanted someone to talk to and I wanted her to have support from her best friend. My best friend, her hubby now knows, his wife told him as I said it was fine too. He is very cool about it, my wife and I have awesome friends.

    Honestly, I like the quite like the validation and acceptance, and the fact I can be honest with them about anything is wonderful.

  7. #32
    Platinum Member Teresa's Avatar
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    Diane,
    Lets not forget the title of this forum " Crossdressers.com not "TGs .com ", I really don't see the sections need to be segregated , thankyou for saying I'm TG but I still faced the heatache and wories of coming out as many other people do when they have gender issues .

    Of course I do have guilty pleasures but I do tend to keep those to myself .

    Star,
    You either have that need to be satisfied or you don't but it certainly doesn't take me hours before I step out the door , tomorrow for instance I will again walk with other dog walkers and then I have an appointment to donate blood .
    The real me , no going back.

  8. #33
    Junior Member mylilsecret8's Avatar
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    [QUOTE=Maria_mtf;4507719]I think I am in the middle of a "coming out pink fog", that is I want to come out to more people but I don?t really know why.

    This is exactly how I've felt lately. I've gone out dressed "anonymously" to stores, walking trails, yoga studios, etc. but never where someone knew me and my full name. Today I went dressed to Dentist appointment. I was nervous but it felt exhilarating to give my real name when I checked in while dressed femme and talk about dressing pretty with my hygienist of five years. No one at the dentist office knows any of my family or close friends but it still felt so refreshing to come out to them.

    Wishing you good luck with whatever path you choose to take in your heels!

  9. #34
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    Do you really need to come out any more than you have?
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  10. #35
    Member *ROXY*'s Avatar
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    From my viewpoint, My wife, children (all under 11) and my mother and sister know. There was a good chance of them seeing me, or popping round unannounced and rather that worry constantly that I'd got all the makeup off or left a large pair of heels lying around I decided to let them in.
    My kids are fine with it - they don't mind daddy in a dress. I've told them not to tell their friends but ultimately it's their decision. I've explained although there is nothing wrong with it, not everyone is as understanding as we are and it may lead to bullying.
    I've pushed boundaries as far as I can, nails painted, women's jeans and coat, worn knee high boots twice at night.
    I'm not about to waltz down the street in a mini dress but if it was just me I probably would. My wife is fine with it, I think like all partners they'd probably prefer it didn't happen but she's no issue with me dressing in the house whenever I like as I don't change, just my clothing.
    I've though about telling my friends but I've only got a couple of non-cd/trans friends that I keep in regular contact with and I don't see the need.
    All we can do is bring up our own kids to be accepting and tolerant of differences in others, be that race, clothes choices, gender or sexuality (when it's time to explain that to them all). Hope it all goes OK x

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