If asked outright, would you lie to your family?

[beccadeath]

I am a two timer #2. First time she found my pictures on our computer so there was no lying about it. This time ended in DADT for many years. Later my wife confronted me again because she know I dressed when she was away but had no clue what I did and why I wanted to dress. The second big talk resulted in more honest answers (least as honest as I could be be, but why I had this desire was an answer I did not have). Since the second talk and being more open and honest, showing her this site and continuing to be open and have talks things between my wife and I are so much better. I wish I we had the second talk the first time. Live and learn. The end result is I feel so very very lucky to have my wife be as accepting as she is.

This is very similar to my story (minus the whole her knowing about this community), I think it's much more liberating to just be able to share that side of me with her even if she doesn't "get it"...the fact that she accepts it and doesn't care and still loves me? That means everything.

Now, do I want my kid knowing about it? Eh...no. If it came up I'd probably lie unless he encountered me around the house femmed out which...unless it was after his bedtime and in our bedroom...or he comes home unexpectedly, I don't foresee that happening.

Extended family? My parents? My sister? ...****, I don't know. Dad would surely disown me...mom and sister would just be an awkward conversation and probably not proceed much further (hopefully). I figure it took me nearly 20 years to come FULLY out to my wife, so like...not really in a hurry to have those conversations.

Knowing my family though, if it were to come out I'd probably pack the family up and move to Canada or something...which has always low-key been my "escape plan"

[JuliaGirl]

I have kept this part of me secret from the age of 12/13 until now, so 45 years. Married 28 years.

A few decades ago I would have said (3) ... still stigma around it, made the mistake of not telling during our dating days, and had young kids. Did not want to mess up.

A decade ago I might have said (3.5) .. not really sure what I would have done.

Now? (4). I still think I've done something unforgiveable not being open to this point, but that's such a heavy long weight to bear, that I'd be honest now. Fully. She will have a very hard time fully accepting, and I don't need to be belittled in any way for my need. Still fearful but I'd go for it now.

That said, being in lockdown and not having *any* chance to dress for more than a year has been frustrating but oddly manageable. Except those days when the fog rolls into my head.

[XemmaX]

Im a number two and i was also open to people i was dating about it especially if i thought it would develop. For me keeping secrets damaged me alot and i heard some stories about people jeeping it to themselves because of childhood trauma of parents catching them and reacting badly. But coming out even late down the line is better for your mental health allbeit risky, being out reduces alot if negative things in the ling run Its sad to hear so many people still feeling like they have no option but to keep it secret, i understand though and everyone has their reasons.