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Thread: Wife opened up

  1. #1
    Silver Member Maria 60's Avatar
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    Wife opened up

    Last night after dinner we decided to go for a walk and we ended up at a coffee shop sitting on a bench enjoying the unseasonal weather. There was a commercial plaza across the street and a car pulled in and when the door opened I automatically caught the view of the lace of black stockings. We were both starring and curious of what was going to come out of the car. Once the person got out it was definitely a sister and my wife asked to look it's one of my friends and dressed very poorly. This person was wearing a very short black skirt and see threw top and stockings fully exsposed and very high heels. There was nobody in that parking lot and the person was looking around to see if anybody was around and I guess there was a dash cam because she was posing in front of the car and my wife believes this person was lifting the skirt exsposing themselves but I couldn't see from my angle and this person would run back into the car every time a car would come close. From where we were sitting I guess we were out of site because it was dark and we were only getting the view from one plaza light. My wife turned to me and told me that she never asked what I do when I go for a drive to respect my privacy. She stressed with great aggression that she hopes I'm not doing what this persons is doing and hopefully I'm acting respectful and decent when in public. She stressed that when I go out that I shouldn't have to hide like that person was doing, she found it very creepy and told me to act respectful and even though I'm not a women but act like a respectful crossdresser. She said she knows I leave the car because her car is washed and full of gas when I go for a drive and that my heels are usally very dirty. She doesn't want to know what I do but hopes that whatever I'm doing that I'm acting respectful. I never really heard my wife talk to me about my outings but she was very upset about that persons actions and stressed that she hopes I'm not hiding like that and rather in public acting normal and have everyone see a respectful crossdresser then a creepy crossdresser. It was great to hear my wife talking about her preference of how she wants me to present myself when in public, and in our situation it's always great to just talk openly. Communication is key.

  2. #2
    Member susanmichelle's Avatar
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    That?s wonderful that you were both there to see the poor show the other cross dresser was promoting. Also congratulations on the two of you being able to communicate with each other. I hope you reassured her you would never act that way.

  3. #3
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    Maria,
    When I attended my first social group outing I'm sure that was one of my wife's fears , you may look good and possibly very tarty so who are you trying to attract . OK this person didn't want to be confronted but that was this time so what happens next time ? I feel your wife is right it can appear creepy as she assumes you go out wanting to be accepted as a woman and not a hooker .

    This person has every right to do what he/she did but she was living dangerously but what exactly your wife meant by disrespectful I'm not sure .

    I hope it doesn't mean the end of your drives but you may find your wife will take more note of what you choose to wear next time .

  4. #4
    Junior Member KimberC's Avatar
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    Keep the conversation going....talk to her about what you are doing, include her in the experience, or at least share it with her....

  5. #5
    What a great life
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    This will help the Crossdressing community if we act like Proper ladies out in public and willing to blend in as a proper lady. That's wonderful, You are blessed with a wife who loves you for who you are.

  6. #6
    Weirdest woman ever! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    Curious minds need to know! So, r u a "respectful" CD or a "creepy" one?

    Judging by what your SO thinks is creepy? Since I'm clueless how a "respectful" CD acts? I probably fall on the creepy side!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  7. #7
    Member Terrihoney's Avatar
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    I certainly can't speak for all, a wife's biggest fear is that her CD husband will do something embarrassing to her or in the community. Or, as a woman, are you flirting with men.

    Maria, since your wife knows and accepts you dressing feminine, this conversation is a golden opportunity to become more presentable in public with her help. Few women would do random panty photo shoots on a public street. To keep your wife's trust, neither should you.

    Hugs, Terrri

  8. #8
    Aspiring Member MonicaPVD's Avatar
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    There are all kinds of people doing all kinds of things. In my town there's a CD friend who loves to post pics of herself posing in lingerie in very public places (in front of well-known businesses, along busy roads, etc). I don't know about any of you, but I have seen just about everything a person can see in this world yet I have never ever seen a woman posing in lingerie outdoors in a public setting. Ever. Some people get a kick out of doing extreme things.

  9. #9
    Senior Member mbmeen12's Avatar
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    To each his/her own as to someone making a movie....Your GG provided you with standards of conduct and good luck hun...
    Escapism isn't necessarily bad, but is definitely unhealthy in the long term. While helpful in the short term, things will degrade over time. At some point, the escapee will have to face the issue. Things simply blowing over isn't really going to happen in many situations.

  10. #10
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    I am envious that you and your wife can have a conversation about cross dressing. I think one of the fears a wife has about her husband's cross dressing is not knowing what he may be doing. I think many women would not find displays such as you described as reflective of most women.

  11. #11
    Member CharlotteCD's Avatar
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    Going out into public places and exposing yourself is creepy in my view, and it really doesn't do any favours to transgender people, instead just re-enforcing the perverted stereotype.

  12. #12
    Member Liz Jones's Avatar
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    Keep an open on youtube for new video's .........
    Liz

  13. #13
    Aspiring Member SaraLin's Avatar
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    I'm curious, Maria - what did you say? It sounds like you had a golden opportunity to talk things over with her - and possibly reassure her a little?

  14. #14
    Senior Member GretchenM's Avatar
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    I'm with Charlotte. Fortunately, few people saw this performance of pretty raw sexuality. Those people exist, but if seen it simply reinforces ideas that crossdressing is a sexual thing. It is true that the person had a right to do that so long as not violating any laws involving indecent exposure. It also provided an opportunity for your wife to give you a warning shot across your bow about behaving that way yourself. And your wife has every right to be disgusted by the behavior of that person because that person's behavior clearly shows what they personally think about women. And it is definitely not flattering.

    I think, on balance, it was a good experience between you and your wife as it got communication going and clearly set some boundaries as to what is acceptable and what is not in her mind. It is too bad though that your wife had to view such a display of disrespect for females this person exhibited. I suspect it made her very uncomfortable.

  15. #15
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    I found myself on a UK based forum last week and I immediately deleted my account. It was totally distasteful and borderline gross the pictures all over there. I was so shocked, It made me question myself, did I really want to aline myself to these people. But I'm new to CD and there are fringes in all types of people. Live and let live I guess but maybe some kind of warning would've been nice.

  16. #16
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    I have to disagree with many of the comments. Maria said "There was nobody in that parking lot and the person was looking around to see if anybody was around". Maybe they were just having fun and maybe they were single. I understand that many (if not most) of you do not like crossdressers to be sexual in anyway. But some of us do like that. Young women go clubbing and dress sexy and enjoy themselves. Some cross dressers like that too. There is a drag bar near where I live that has drag shows. The performers will often strip down to their thong. People have fun that way with other adults. And yes some crossdressers like to have fun that way too. I see nothing wrong with that.

  17. #17
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    Kristi,
    Maybe the point your missing is Maria's wife relating that person's behaviour to Maria , I'm sure most wives would react in that way if they thought their husband was revealing himself in that way .

    Also Maria does point out the person woul run back to the car when a car approached so there must have been people passing through and obviously with their lights on so they would witness everything .

    Mila,
    I also have no interest in that style of CDing , so lesson learned , stay away . No forum is perfect this one serves it's purpose I guess it's " Horses for courses !"

  18. #18
    Gold Member Helen_Highwater's Avatar
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    The problem is for us as a community if a GG does the same thing it's construed as sexy behaviour, for us it's seen a at best weird and at worst perverted.

    I would suggest that there's a difference in that which Krisi describes in that a drag show is just that a show, performance art in a designated place. It takes on a different meaning when it shifts into a public place. Onlookers will view it more as exhibitionism.

    Maria,

    Perhaps it would be beneficial to invite you're wife out for a drive with you and to demonstrate just what a typical night out consists of for you. Try to allay her fears somewhat. The power of imagination can be a destructive thing so removing any doubts she may have can only be beneficial.
    Who dares wears Get in, get out without being noticed

  19. #19
    Lacy Lacyfem's Avatar
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    So many of us out here have our wives not knowing and for different reasons and one of them may be how this cd's wife reacted. This site is very very conservative and many others aren't. This dresser who was seen most likely loves to dress and be a woman as much as we all do and wants to be attractive to whomever. However you can't be attractive to someone if you don't get out there and doing what she was doing was an attempt to do that as it's scary to go out in public as I think we all know and taking a few pictures or a video of ourselves out like this is kind of a beginning to get out as a gurl or cd. In that they were not close enough to really see what she was doing and to think she was exposing herself is pure speculation as being a cd is to wear sexy lingerie and she could have been just wanting to show that she was wearing lovely panties and lace top thigh highs. Women, not all, love to dress to be attractive to men and perhaps this ones wife does not want her crossdressing hubby to be one of those which I know if my wife found out she'd definitely think that. So I think this cd's wife is very understanding in the first place to accept her dressing and just making sure she doesn't cross that line. As for the cd doing the performance it's just part of getting over the scary part of getting out into public as a gurl.
    Lacyfem

  20. #20
    Member CharlotteCD's Avatar
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    I don't believe that exposing yourself in a random public car park is appropriate whether you're a GG or a CD, or a TS.

    Just because people like Cardi B, Nicki Minaj and co go around dressed in such a way doesn't mean we as society should have just accepted that it's perfectly fine.

    There's sexual liberation and there's having zero respect for yourself. Feminists can argue that women are owning their body all they want, but it's simply an excuse.

  21. #21
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    my tolerant wife always comes to support group events with me, ever once in a while a crossdresser
    will be dressed very inapropriatly and it drives her mad and i hear about it for ever.

  22. #22
    GG Dutchess's Avatar
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    For the record here this GG does not think exposing yourself in public is cool and I am no prude . I just don't want people to see me as someone they could exploit/use like that . I like to do alternative things but not that ,nor do I want the cops to pick me up for something ridiculous as that . . and at night too, alone etc . No .
    Id be scared to death if I saw some random guy doing that , especially at night . I don't care how he is dressed or how he identifies .
    Last edited by Dutchess; 03-12-2021 at 01:54 PM.
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  23. #23
    Silver Member Aunt Kelly's Avatar
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    "Creepy" is the first word that comes to mind for many of us, when trying to describe that behavior. Probably harmless, yes, but far out of the range of common female behavior. Well into "creepy" territory when done in public by a CD.
    "Being honest may not get you a lot of friends, but it will always get you the right ones."
    -- John Lennon

    https://groups.io/g/gno-houston

  24. #24
    Silver Member Maria 60's Avatar
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    I came home tonight from a Friday drive and told my wife something happened tonight that can be misinterpreted wrong. I went on a drive tonight and when I'm dressed I'm more precautions. At one point a car was tailgating me and I started to get nervous and when I went to move out of his way I spilled my coffee all down the back of the seat and I got all my rear wet. I pulled over at a gas station and taking my advice of my wife not to hide I got out of the car and cleaned the seat. It is a very windy night and when I was cleaning my seat I was struggling to keep my dress from flying up with the under current from the car. People were walking on the sidewalk and I'm more then sure I exposed my panties more then once. I told my wife that could have been misinterpreted as I wanted to show my rear and there's no way I could be mistaken as a women so I could have had a creepy moment to someone My wife gave me a none convinced maybe?? but asked me was I trying to hold the skirt down or was I holding my skirt in the air exsposing myself. I told her of course I was trying to hold my dress down but look how easy it is to create a creepy moment.

  25. #25
    Princess Candice candykowal's Avatar
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    Oh gosh Maria, interesting events happening with you these days....and this thread is a great way to remind all of us to be good ambassadors of the community at all times.
    These times in our divided nation, where people are sensitive in all aspects of society, we all need to respectful on how we present ourselves, how we are perceived.
    Those "creepy scenes" we cannot stop...but we can make sure the numbers of good, wash out the bad.
    Candice Coleen Kowal ....all my friends call me Candy!

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