I feel bad for you that you can't bring yourself to.try on a dress in the store, but I also understand where that terror comes from. The taboos that were taught to us from infancy are often too strong to overcome. Tragic.
But if there ever was a chance to thumb your nose at those taboos and put them away forever, that was it. Your wife is ten times more supportive than mine is, and there is no one more supportive than a dress shop SA. You need to remind yourself that SAs don't just tolerate men like you and me, they ENJOY helping us discover our authentic selves and seeing us feeling pretty in a new dress. I have often been told I am one of their best customers and they obviously enjoy my visits.
And despite what others say, online shopping is a poor substitute for shopping in person. Online, you're never 100% certain it will look good on you until you've committed the money and then waited days or even weeks for delivery. Yes there's a return policy, but there's the hassle of repackaging and then waiting for your refund to go through. In my experience, I only return something if it's truly awful. I don't bother with returning it if it's "so so", and I end up.never wearing it in public. That same piece never comes home with me from the store. There is no gambling on size, fit or style in the store, and most importantly, no judgment. There is only "Yes" or "Nope, next piece please" and not a single dollar is spent on anything that doesn't impress.
I really hope you can overcome your fears one day and just go ahead and try on dresses in person. There's nothing like the feeling of liberation you'll get. Really.
