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Thread: How to plant the seed to gauge openness?

  1. #1
    Junior Member KimberC's Avatar
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    How to plant the seed to gauge openness?

    So, while I'm 100% certain if I fully opened up to my wife it would be the end.... guaranteed.... but i think if I eased her into it that she would be more open and who knows....

    My question is, do you think there is a good way to see how she would likely react? Is there a good place to maybe start (like discussing wearing panties, or stockings under, something unseen?). I would be interested to hear what's worked and what hasn't, understanding that everyone is different and there is no easy way....

    Thanks for your insights.
    ~ Kimber

  2. #2
    Silver Member Micki_Finn's Avatar
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    Let me get this straight: you know your wife is 100% against something, but you think you can somehow manipulate her into being “ok” with it? Good luck with that.

  3. #3
    Junior Member Diane426's Avatar
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    There really is no perfect way to drop that on anyone. Best advice I have is to keep it to yourself. Most women just aren't ready to deal with this. Don't let the cat out untell you have to. Keep it special to yourself.
    Diane 🎀

  4. #4
    Miss Conception Karren Hutton's Avatar
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    I would get all dressed up... and jump out of the closet and surprise her! No sense to in beating around the corset...

  5. #5
    Junior Member KimberC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Micki_Finn View Post
    Let me get this straight: you know your wife is 100% against something, but you think you can somehow manipulate her into being ?ok? with it? Good luck with that.
    No, I'm 100% sure that if I just dropped it on her out of nowhere she would shut down...

    [SIZE=1]- - - Updated - - -[/SIZE]

    Karen, hehehehe not thinking that would be a good plan....
    I'm not very brave, and definitely not brave enough for that, not to mention what it would mean to the family as a whole.

  6. #6
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    How does your wife react to issues related to the LGBT community? Pro rights? Anti rights? This is an indication she would receptive to a cross dressing husband, but, it would give you some indication if she is absolute against our community. My wife is supportive to LGBT rights, but, she married someone of her liking. As she told me, "If I wanted to be married to a woman, I would married a woman." Further, if a husband and wives are at odds against each other, then springing something else is usually not going to go well.

    How would you go about asking if under dressing is alright? Just blurt it out at breakfast one day? Usually, there is some preliminary discussion.

    If your wife wears sexy lingerie to bed, such as an ankle length nylon gown, maybe you could tell her you really like the feel of the fabric. Maybe she would drape part of the flowing gown over you body to get you aroused. Maybe, some mutual benefit may ensue. Of course, all that may happen is she drives you nuts.

    When my wife and I were first married she did find me one night wearing her nightgown because I did find the nylon sensual, etc. We did end up buying me several nighties and hosiery. When it progressed further, the infamous "The Talk" happened. Then it became DADT which could become a viable solution in the end.
    Last edited by Stephanie47; 03-14-2021 at 09:47 PM.

  7. #7
    Super Moderator char GG's Avatar
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    Last edited by char GG; 03-14-2021 at 09:55 PM.

  8. #8
    Junior Member KimberC's Avatar
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    HOLY CRAP......

    So, my wife was talking that she needs new panties (hers are falling apart) and I suggested I pick them out. She responded that would not be a good idea (she knows I'd pick out something sexier) and she said "if I don't like them you'll get them for your birthday"... I laughed and said she can pick them out. We looked around Amazon and picked out some she likes and as she sat down in her chair I joked and said want to pick me out some too. She said sure, we can look at boxers, and then I turned the laptop around and said I like these (they were a pair of womens bikini panties)... She said "uh, ok.... go for it" and even helped me pick out a color (it's a purple-ish)....

    So... I'm going to get the panties, and start to wear them and see what happens... the seed was planted...

    Thank you all for being a sounding board.

  9. #9
    Aspiring Member Sandi Beech's Avatar
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    That went great it would seem. Certainly a lot better than when I tried wearing some women?s boyshorts underwear. My wife literally threw her yogurt all over the carpet. She did not have to say anything since I got her point. You just never know how it will go until you try.

    Sandi

  10. #10
    Junior Member KimberC's Avatar
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    We will find out Wed, that's when the order arrives.....

    Fingers Crossed

  11. #11
    Princess Candice candykowal's Avatar
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    Nice! ...pretty cool to have the hindsight to grab the brass ring sort of speak, as it was there for the taking!
    I am an older gal and I have been tinkering in the last 10 years with things that tend to come up as we grow old.
    I kind of play up a dry skin condition and I am able to epulate my hair on my arms and legs, moisturize with pretty smelling creams and wear silky polyester unisex dago-T's that are camisole like.
    Since we can't find satin mens boxers anymore, so they don't make me itch, she is okay buying me womens Barbra brand Full Coverage Satin Briefs from Walmart.
    She buys them in a multicolor 6 pack and I have a few in pink.
    I gotten her to buy me high waist panty shapers and 2 Rago open bottom girdles for a slight hernia condition.
    She also has bought me gloss clear nail polish to break my habit of biting my nails. I can now grow then past my finger tips and keep them shiny!
    She knows I wear pantyhose under my slacks for warmth in winter and has even bought me tights.
    I have a lot of unisex satin shirts I wear all the time in summer. They are blouse like and pretty femme.
    Wearing polyester slacks and hard sole dress shoes with those satin shirts, while underdressing in lingerie, I feel pretty feminine while still presenting as a snappy dressed man.
    Next up, she sees my 38C breasts everyday bound in tight satin Dago-T's ... if I start having back pain, I might be able to talk her into buying me a few soft cup satin bras.
    She did shoot down my ears getting pierced....Drat. I have to really sell the idea. Is there any medical reason to have pierced ears?
    I believe if you can get your wife to accept buying you lingerie, it's a green light to be feminine.
    Now I know she isn't stupid and I do believe she figures my CDing isn't hurting anyone.
    As long as I am not in her face with my sissy ways, she can be okay with it all in our DADT relationship.
    After all, I am fine with being husband first....so maybe slow and steady, pick your moments, as you just did, and you will be feminine 24/7 by the time your chest sags and your retiring! It is working , so far, for me.
    Candice Coleen Kowal ....all my friends call me Candy!

  12. #12
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    One thing not to do is show her female impersonators and have her comfortable with them and assume she will be comfortable with your cross dressing. Many women find female impersonators fun entertainment, but not for her husband doing it. She might let you wear something for Halloween but that is the end.

  13. #13
    Member HelpMe,Rhonda's Avatar
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    Yes, have found that you can't predict that someone who you'd think would be supportive will be, but probably not a good sign if you think they won't be supportive.

  14. #14
    Administrator Di's Avatar
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    That is what we GGs call the drip drip drip method.
    What ends up happening many times we end up not to believe anything you say ....just a game to you it seems. First it’s pantys then this then that . Seriously we are not that stupid because When it comes out....and it will ....she will remember all the nonsense you said to gage her reaction.
    Stop the games and be honest.
    Last edited by Di; 03-15-2021 at 05:19 AM.
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    Hi Kimber , Quick look at line #4 in my Signature !
    Having my ears triple pierced is AWESOME, ~~......

    I can explain it to you, But I can't comprehend it for you !

    If at first you don't succeed, Then Skydiving isn't for you.

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  16. #16
    Super Moderator char GG's Avatar
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    Please re-read what Di said.

    but i think if I eased her into it that she would be more open and who knows....
    Obviously, you know your relationship better than we do. However "easing her into it"? Really!? My thought is that it's time to have a real conversation. Don't insult her intelligence by playing games.

  17. #17
    Miss Conception Karren Hutton's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KimberC View Post
    We will find out Wed, that's when the order arrives.....

    Fingers Crossed
    Hopefully you have a fall back position! If her reaction is less than positive you can always blame it on Amazon screwing up your order!

    Can not believe that the sent this instead of the new hunting outfit... mosquito repellent, cheese curds and bratwurst that I had ordered!! Lol.

  18. #18
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    Make sure to keep us posted. Hopefully all goes well and the seed grows into a beautiful fully dressed good time.

  19. #19
    Junior Member KimberC's Avatar
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    Karen, no chance of the "wrong order" excuse... she picked them out. Now, she may not have actually thought I would order it but that is for Wed I suspect.
    If she is resistant when it comes in I'll know to back off.... if she isn't, who knows... I may just take it to the next level right away.

  20. #20
    Reality Check Krisi's Avatar
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    I asked my wife once why she was wearing sack dresses around the house and she said "Because they are comfortable." I said "OK, I want on too." A couple days later she bought me one and I started wearing it. She was talking about buying some bras and I told her I could order them from eBay. She said "OK." When they came in she said "Are those my bras?" I said "No, they are my bras, they have my name on the package." I proceeded to take off my shirt and put the bra on.

    I got to where I am now in small steps and at this point can walk around the house with my wig, boobs, hips and butt and any of my closet full of women's clothes.


    There are different ways to deal with this situation and it all depends on the people and the relationship. What works for one couple may not work for another. And some women are not going to accept this regardless. You will have to figure this out yourself.
    Krisi

  21. #21
    Junior Member KimberC's Avatar
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    So, another new twist to the story.....

    This morning i was taking a shower and had just stepped out when my wife comes in. She has a package of panties that she had and forgot about and says "here ya go". I giggled and said that I'm sure they're a bit small for me.... she starts to leave the bathroom (she did it as a joke I'm pretty sure) and I say "just leave me a pair and I'll try". She does and then goes about here morning stuff. I put them on (they are a bit snug and the sides will likely dig in a bit too much to be comfy) and then I finished getting dressed. She finished what she was doing and came into my office (work from home these days) so I undo my belt and jeans and pull them down to show her. She thought they looked good but agreed they were a bit tight on the side, to which we proceeded to discuss that its the problem she has with this brand too and then I reminded her that we did order my size, and that they are in Wed.

    She seemed ok so far.... once they are in I may breach the subject a bit more, or discuss if I am OK to get more so I can every-day where them....

    ~ Kimber

  22. #22
    Miss Conception Karren Hutton's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KimberC View Post
    Karen, no chance of the "wrong order" excuse... she picked them out. Now, she may not have actually thought I would order it but that is for Wed I suspect.
    If she is resistant when it comes in I'll know to back off.... if she isn't, who knows... I may just take it to the next level right away.
    Well make sure you have a couple pounds of cheese curds ready when you tell her you want to grow your breasts! Lol. Women love cheese curds! Ok my wife does and she is from WI so I figure they all do! PS she hates crossdressing so that might speak loudly to all WI women?

  23. #23
    Junior Member KimberC's Avatar
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    I have forms on order (delivery today actually)..... so..... hahahahahahah

  24. #24
    Miss Conception Karren Hutton's Avatar
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    Just tell her that the forms are the same one Brett Farve wears! They are green and gold? Right? 😜

  25. #25
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    I think that you are living in interesting times.

    Just don't push it though.
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

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