Forgive me if my attitude has been showing but my crossdressing life is nothing but one frustration after another.
Small town, year spent at home in DADT, wife pays bills so no purchases, vehicle is shot and won?t start and doing anything in lockdown prompts questions. Home body, do not drink or go clubbing, could never discretely join support groups, no CD friends to serve as mentors. Basically just an old man with some kind of curse that has only caused more anxiety.
Do not bother offering solutions, trust me, this is an impossible corner I am painted into. My wife is not some kind of ogre, we agreed that she would do finances and she is better than I am at it. She drives the good car and I get the old hauling to the compost rusty beater because that is what I do. I think if there is such a thing as a Devine being he or she played a huge joke. Pick the most unlikely country hick, give him gender issues and watch him struggle. Even therapy leaves me frustrated as I can clearly see what I am but cannot act on it.
Solutions aside for me this comes down to a simple choice, family and friends or give it all up to dress like a woman. That would surely see me splitting my income and investments and becoming a recluse after I lose everything. I look at this as a curse because it is impossible to fit it into a small town conservative existence.
Add the fact that I am looked down on for on here for omitting information and lying due to my DADT and things feel pretty hopeless right now. I am the kind of person who will carry on but I can see where some might feel trapped with no way out and resort to self harm.
