Are you born a trannie or made into one?

[Sophie62]

Hello Girls

Are we born TV's or are we made into being one?. I don't not what to say. DMS-IV (That is the "BIG BOOK" published by the APA which talks about all the mental illnesses and it is used as a guide line for diagnosis by Mental Therapists) called a "Psycho Sexual Disorder".

I am not about to question the psychological aspect of crossdressing, I just want to know if some of you are like me. I can remember myself experimenting with woman's clothing and nail polish since the age of six. During puberty, around the age of 12, I stared experimenting crossdressing in a fuller scale with female clothing (panties,pantyhose, bras, dresses, high heels) jewelery, lipstick, make up, nail polish in both hands and feet and perfume. I was very lucky because my mother spent lots of money in the best of female apparel and accesories. This pattern continued through out my teenage years.

No one ever encouraged me to venture into womanhood, I did it on my own following my insticts and my personal desires. So, Was I born a trannie? Or it could be that I have a very attractive mother who loved looking at the her best (Oooohhh her shoes collection, WOW !!!) and some extra sensitivity on my part awoke those woman like feelings in me?.

On the other hand, there are things that I started to remember I did as a child. For example, when I played baseball my older brother used to bother me because of the way I threw the ball. Even though I have a regular potential in my throw he would say something like "You throw the ball like a girl". I am not a sissy in my mannerism. When we were older in highschool, he would also pick on me telling me "You do some strange pose with your hands", I knew he was trying to say I posed my hands like a girl.

I also remember that when I was in elementary school I went to an all boys school. I remember that during the breaks at school we all play together but, after a while, some of the boys would sweet and started to smell. I never sweet as a child and I hated when they got all sweety and stinky,,eeewwww, Is that a girly, girly, girly, reaction or what? .

I also remember playing female rolls with my brothers and sister. I would put on my sisters highheels shoes (from a Sevillana custom) and play the mother. It is wonderful how can you get away with those things when a child.

I think I act and move like I male, so I think. But I know I am not as rough or as a manly as other guys. What I mean is that I am kind of delicate in my moves, not graceful,but delicate. I see how my male friend sit, talk and walk and they do look like the setreotypical male. I think that when I hang around them I behave like them,they never seem to feel unconfortable with me. However, a couple of times some girls have ask me about my sexual orientation. May be they detect some small femininity in me, I really can't tell.

Another aspect to consider comes with my sexuality. I am attracted to women, so I have had many girlfriends. When I had made love to them I am usually very gentle and let my self go along with them. It is as if I could feel what they feel when I made love to them. It is as if I could read their women's desires and feelings.

I also noticed that I differ in the way my male friends think about women and relationships. They tend to see woman in a sexual oriented manner, I tend to see the beauty, the wamrth and their sweetness on them. I always wonder how can they sleep with women and not get involved. For me is different, when I made love I get emotionally involved. Believe it , I had tried to be like my male firends, but felt awful after sleeping with a woman and not wanting to get involve with her. I see the relationship between a man and a woman in a romantic way. When I have discussed that with my mother, she simply says, "Son, you experience the relationship between man and woman as the we woman do".

Anyhow, I don't know what to say. I only know I enjoy this side of me and that I would love to finally paying the attetion that deserves. Trying to deny does not work, other wise I wouldn't be here writting to you, ladies. Trying to cure it. I have being in therapy before to disccuss insomnia and anxiety, but, never, ever, have I talk to a profesional about this; NEVER !!!. May be I should talk to a professional about it, but I would feel more confortable in front of a female therapist.

Girls, you are the first people I ever talk about this subject. I am so glad this forum exist. At least I, do not feel alone and lost on this, plus I am getting some confidence and a higher self steem. Thanks to all of you, my ethernal gratitude.

Kisses,


Sophie

[Harriet]

If I wasn't born this way, I am glad I found out how to enjoy it. Dispite the problems, I enjoy expressing my feminine being. Indeed, maybe I will be able to actually be the feminine me someday.

[Star]

The yearning started at a very early age for me. I believe the answer is born this way. If it was a simnple matter of learned beahaviuor, why can't I unlearn it?

[maid phylis]

i personally believe that we are born this way,my feelings are that as early as i can remember i felt like i was born wrong and should have been a girl.when you want to put on stockings at a early age that is the tip off that you were different from all the other boys.love phylisanne

[DawnRodgers]

I think, in my case, it was a environmental, kind of learned thing. I was raised by my mom, her sister and her sister's two daughters. An all girl household. No men around except for the occassional uncle. Learned to act like and think like a girl. Wished I could dress as pretty too. Thiese early feelings stayed with me through the years and when I got a chance, as a teenager, to put on my mom's nylons, heels, panties, bra and a dress, well that was the greatest thing! I would gladly have dressed that way every day for the rest of my life. Well, that feeling has never gone away. I still love and enjoy it, feel totally fem when dressed and often wonder - what if.

[Kimberly]

Behaviour within our lives, I think, is often a direct imitation of others - taking what people (in general) do, and immitating it so that we form our social being. This means identification in a number of areas: Sex, Gender, Sexual Orientation, Social group.

Noticed how Gay men are often camp? Or how teenage boys all try to strut (generalising, but you know the type to which I refer.)

I remember going through what you describe: I un-taught myself from crossing my legs at about 12, because someone told me that I looked like a girl when I did it. I was quite shy, so - to fit in - I un-taught myself. But I think these different ways to which you held (or hold) yourself personally are taken from FEMALE immitations, because whether we like it or not, I believe TGs are baised, especially in the younger years, of immitating who we best relate to: women.

For this to work, of course, you need to be a birth case of TGism. Some people aren't: I am, and you sound you were born like it too. I have always got on better with girls, and absolutely hate the devisions between gender that go into growing up. My dad crosses his legs anyway, and I don't think he wants to change his sex!! He's finding it hard enough to come to terms with me wearing female clothing on and off. :P

[Marla S]

Are you born a trannie or made into one?

From a non-professional point of view I'd say both is true.

The latter because there is a very very narrow border a boy or a men isn't allowed to cross if he doesn't want to be seen a somewhat mentally ( psycho sexual) disordered or just as a pervert (to say it clear). You only have to like to wear a skirt or like to play with dolls and all of a sudden you crossed this border and you are stamped. This way you are made a trannie.
And this will stay like that at least as long as it is spoken of a "psycho sexual disorder." Sure, we are somehow disordered (stress, depressions, guilt feeling, etc.), but thats not a consequence of a psycho sexual disorder but of a socio cultural intolerance.

I think I am (we are) born with, because quite a few have very early memories, far more than us few trannies had attractive mothers, were born as first son, had a lot of sisters, etc.
Though I have no evidence for it I believe even those of us who have been forced to wear girls clothes by their parents are a minority of all children that have been treated this way. And it is hard to believe that only we tried some of mothers clothes or make up. I assume most boys did it, as probaly most girls once wore fathers jacket or shoes, but only a few are trannies.
So, there have to be some predisposition that others don't have that lets us keep some early events as key memories. Key memories that made our self evident despite or even because it stood against the conventions.

[Ranee Daze]

Like others have said, at this point it really doesn't matter. I really enjoy crossdressing and that's it for me. Aside from performing music, dressing is the most fun I have, and that says alot.

Nature.....are we born that way? Yes we ALL are. Look at the male of any other species and you will discover longer shinier feathers, flashier scales, lions have manes, roosters have crests....
My point here is that the historical construct of "gender" took a left turn around 1790. A look at seventeenth and eighteenth century fashion will show males as porbperly decked out as women.
Our current social view runs counter to nature in this way. It is fuelled by a greedy fashion industry and fashion homophobia. How many of us have Dads who would be caught dead in a pink shirt or shoes? The construct creates alot of internal anger.

So I think that it is perfectly natural to want to wear flashier, softer, taller, sweeter smelling fashion. We were born to be adorned.

Why then do I have the need for breastforms, shaven face and legs? Well a couple of times I've gone without and have felt sexier and freer than ever. But still I have a yearning for breastforms, cleavage, tucking etc. female attributes and I suspect that that is the product of NURTURE. Am I blaming my mother? You bet, thanks Mom! (No really)

Like Popeye said: "I yam what I yam"

[susiej]

Sophie,

My opinion, based on a case study of one (me), is that we are born with wiring that makes being feminine attractive to us. Then, some time later, we start behaving in ways that are self-reinforcing. The wiring *itself* doesn't trigger behavior, but sooner or later, some random event does, and then stimulus-reward takes over.

In my case, I was a sensitive and somewhat moody child, certainly not the prototype of a sports-playing, roughhousing boy. As near as I remember, I had no major environmental pressures toward the feminine (as others have reported, growing up in a family of females, strong mother, etc). But, in early puberty (maybe age 12?), after seeing a brassiere ad on TV (for heaven's sake!) I put on some of mom's clothes, and was rewarded by intense feelings of well-being, satisfaction, and comfort. So, of course, I did it repeatedly , and repeatedly received these splendid feelings. Small wonder I'm still dressing, 35 years later!

Like many with our unusual "gift", I have remained totally in the closet to this day -- this forum is the only social setting at which I present feminine. Consequently, I feel justified in concluding (for my sample set of one) that socialization factors had/have little to do with my self-feminization.

Other, (excuse the expression, please) "normal" guys report no particular pleasure or change of personality (except possibly feeling silly) just because they've put on a bra, for example as part of a halloween costume. They aren't wired for the reward, so it's just an odd-shaped, ill-fitting garment to them.

I have since explored my feminine side enough to know that I'm more than a transvestite; I feel most comfortable and "at home" seeing myself as a woman. Over the years, I've come to believe that this is definitely "wired in", not "acquired".

Since you mentioned the dreaded DSM-IV, a psychological reference that many of us believe improperly classifies crossdressing as a "disorder", I offer a competing reference to the Benjamin scale, which has helped me at least, understand where I fit into the spectrum of gender-enhanced individuals:

http://www.twentyclub.org/docs/bscale.html

Hugs,
Susie

[Helen MC]

I always found girl's and womens clothing, especially their knickers and panties, had an attraction for me but this finally came to fruition when I was 12 and I first wore a pair of my big sister's knickers and went on from there to wear her skirts etc.

So I feel that TV tendencies were latent within me but that I was not made a CD by any action of my mother, sister, relatives etc.

[joannejoanne]

[SIZE="3"]Definately born that way. I started quite naturally in my mid teens and now 35+ years down the road and still doing what i percieve has natural. Though as human nature works i expect that is not the case with everyone, whichever lets all enjoy it. [/SIZE]

[Deborah]

I remember going through what you describe: I un-taught myself from crossing my legs at about 12, because someone told me that I looked like a girl when I did it. I was quite shy, so - to fit in - I un-taught myself.

OMG you had that type of experience too? I remember when i was about 12 also i used to walk like a girl (arms to the side leading with the hips), crossing my legs, lots of giggling and arm movements. This girl in the neighborhood told me once that i acted like a girl.
At the time of this event i was the only American going to a British school. The last thing i wanted was for anyone to think i was girly and to set a good impression for Americans.
Anyway to make the story short i killed all the behaviors i wish i still had now and looked natural doing it.

[GypsyKaren]

I've always felt I was born this way, my thoughts of being a girl go back to my earliest memories. My tranny-doc and I were discussing this subject recently, she said that some research now points to some kind of trauma occuring to the fetus at 5 weeks as the trigger for gender disorder.

Karen

[joannejoanne]

[SIZE="3"]Sophie. Whatever you decide to do make sure it feels right for you, I have in the past made some grave errors in trying to prove myself but i learnt from my mistakes. Now i let my heart lead me not my head. Good Luck in whatever you do. [/SIZE]

[CaptLex]

Are we born TV's or are we made into being one?

I was born a tranny - same as I was born right-handed and brown-eyed. No amount of ignoring it, denying it or fighting it ever made it go away, so now I embrace and accept it.

I yam what I yam . . . Popeye

[Joy Carter]

Well I totaly belive that mine was enviromental I had an abusive stepfather and he loved to hear us scream. My personality was cemented by my inability to defend us from him and I became more like my sister and mother. I can't remember when I have not been accused of being a girl or queer or gay in some way. I have sensitive feelings and they dam well show. But you know I would not trade who I am for anything my SO likes the way I am and so do my kids. Just wish I could really be accepted as a part time woman.

[Miriannah]

I was born a tranny - same as I was born right-handed and brown-eyed. No amount of ignoring it, denying it or fighting it ever made it go away, so now I embrace and accept it.

I might as well just quote this, because this sums up my take on it perfectly. In fact, long ago in my teen years, it disgusted me to the point I just threw all my clothes out and said "I'm done with this, never again!" As my being here now indicates, that didn't last. Hell, it didn't even last more than a few months.

[MarinaTwelve200]

Hello Girls

Are we born TV's or are we made into being one?. I don't not what to say. DMS-IV (That is the "BIG BOOK" published by the APA which talks about all the mental illnesses and it is used as a guide line for diagnosis by Mental Therapists) called a "Psycho Sexual Disorder".


Sophie:GE:

My own studies of the brain and more recent authoritative sources confirm it, is that CD along with TG and related conditions are NOT "psycho-sexual" but IDENTITY disorders/conditions. (S&M and fetish CD may be an exception)

Identity has several complementry components, such as Human vs animal, male vs female, man vs Woman, ME vs another person, Animate vs inanimate etc. which are each usually "toggled" in "standard configurations" at birth. ----However some of the Identy aspects may not be toggled as standard for one's sex or whatever---hence, we have several variants of TG CD TS--and even "furry"/transformationist types, depending upon the possible combinations of toggling.

Indeed, we can often play with some of the settings----Character actors and some forms of CD involve this--when one learns a "trick" to it--usualy involving disguizes or role playing---Temporarly Tripping an ID toggle results is a tremendos "high" or "rush" (its something the Brain resists--and successfully breaching such brain barriers result in the aforementioned rush)

Yes, some people may be born with certian ID settings others may learn to 'trip them" at will. I think that their may be "latent CD" settings---for some people. They might never had CDed save for an event where they may have experimented with it out of curiosity or forced into it---AND THEN discovered a pleasure or rush that can not be achieved any other way---and That may hook a youngster into a lifelong habbit.

[DawnLabelle]

Hi Sophie,

I've been asking myself this question for years now, you may want to check out a thread I started a week or two ago titled "Born with this" (search for all threads I've started and you'll find it) for other responses that haven't yet appeared in your thread.

As for my point of view, I have no bloody idea. I want to believe that its genetic because that would erase my guilt over it (after all, wasn't my fault I was *made* this way) but I just can't. There are so many things in my life which could have triggered me towards cd'ing, such as raised primarily by my mother, troubled friendships with boys and comfortable friendships with women, anger towards my father, jealousy towards my sister, anger towards men in general, jealousy towards women in general, etc etc etc. Even my first "porn" as a kid were the lingerie pages in the Sears catalog, and the first part of women's clothing that I experimented with was lingerie, connection?, maybe, who really knows.

I'm currently in therapy for this along with a host of other issues, and one thing I'm noticing, is as I'm coming to terms and making strides with other issues in my life, the dressing isn't going away, the desire is still there. Wouldn't it decrease if I was getting over those issues that could have "triggered" it?, my logical side says yes, but thats not what is happening.

I think the truth is somewhere in between nature and nuture, are we like all other males?, no, if a "regular" male would dress up as a chick for halloween he may have a great time at a party, but he wouldn't get turned on or feel "different" just because he looks like a chick, yet we would. A possibility could be that we feel different than other men, so in our mind we aren't normal men, and therefore what else could we be?, well, the only other choice in our binary society is a woman, so perhaps thats what drives us to be feminine, because its our only other option (I just came up with this while writing, but I think I may have something here, hrm).

I also have a feeling that the answer to this question is going to be different for each and every one of us, but its still a very important question in order to find peace and acceptance by the only person that counts, which is yourself. One thing I'm conviced of, is that once I'm totally OK with Dawn, then I'm going to be a much happier person overall, wether or not im dressed up. I've already noticed that as I make baby steps towards accepting this part of me, that my regular male life has improved, and now thats saying something.

Good luck in your search, and if you figure anything out, come back here and let us know

Hugs
Dawn

[Josi]

I refuse to see it as a "Disorder" .. it gives support to the lie that there is somethoing "wrong" with me.

Well there is nothing "wrong" with me .. I am just "me" ... and who is to say I shouldnt be?

[Trinity_cat]

Are you born a trannie ?

[SIZE=5]............YES...............[/SIZE]

[Amelie]

I wasn't born this way, I was made into the person that I am today.

I have had events in my teen years that lead me to become a woman or as close to a woman that I can be.

[Bernice]

Who knows? I don't. My earliest recollections were of public streaking at age 3 with another girl. At six, I was into very tight shorts or swimtrunks (a girdle fetish?). At 11, I chose to put on a dress, then stockings, bra, etc. I was never into sports. Still don't watch. I only made friends with girls or with sensitive guys. I thought boys generally behaved badly. I was never taught to be feminine.

So was it genetic? Doubt it. Trauma at 5 weeks? I don't really remember. I'm middle aged now, and that was a long time ago.

What difference does it make? Only that it might help others to understand, because I no longer really care why.

Hugs,

Bernice

[Dawn/David]

When I was in 3rd grade and learned that my body could produce a baby and the whole womanly thing that comes along-I FREAKED,SCREAMED and CRIED. Really! I had no reason to resent this as my upbrining was a positive and supportive one. Yet, I hated anything that meant being a woman. I never understood why so I guess I was born to really reject being a woman in a complete sense and have always identified with wanting to be a man , at least in a sexual sense. It took a long time and I have finally come to accept the fun in dressing as a woman and shopping as one too, but I really don't like much of anything else about being one. I often ponder on why I am the way I am. People get thrown for such a loop with me as I look so female and when they get to really know me- it just doesn't make sense.

[TGMarla]

I don't think I was born transgendered. I wasn't a big, he-man type when I was younger (err...I'm still not!), but I was never especially effeminate, either. I got a taste of pantyhose when I was 12, and I was hooked. My attraction to crossdressing is as much about the clothes as it is about anything else. I found in addition to the clothes, I was also greatly attracted to and enjoyed the other accessories as well, such as makeup, wigs, jewelry, and breasts. I'd love to do nails, but my circumstances aren't particularly conducive to them.

I feel more that I was attracted to it, and less that I was born that way.