This is a long read. As the subject says I probably have to much time on my hands. I am 74, retired, blessed with an accepting wife, dress when I want (lol, daily) and confined to house mostly because of COVID. So to much thinking time.A little background. The earliest female dressing I can remember for me was between 1952 or 53 and about 1960. For you younger gals, back then we had to find ways to entertain ourselves. When it would rain and we couldnt go outside my 2 year younger sister and I would play house. We would wear my Mamas dresses and high heels. I can still remember the sound of those heels on the hardwood floors. My mother made my sisters clothes so after falling and hurting myself several times on her long dresses on day when it was raining Mama gave me a present she had made for me, a red dress with white daisies and my own 2 1/2 inch black heels and a pair of red panties that matched MY dress. LOL when I out grew them my sister got my hand me downs. Only rule was I had to change back to my boy cloths before Daddy got home from work. This all stopped about about 1959 or 1960 when I found out the real reason boys and girls were made different
Fast forward, married 23 years, 2 children and divorced. Not CD related at all since the desire to dress had not returned. We did have some roll reversal in the bedroom occasionally. About three years after my first marriage i met my second wife now for about 30 years. About 15 years into second marriage my feminine side started to emerge, another story for another time. So had the "TALK" and almost divorced but started individual and marriage counseling and we worked thru it and are still happily married. It wasn't easy but we worked it out. Now what this post is about. My wife was pretty black and white and could not wrap her head around my dressing. We were in a session one day and lots of tears and i told her i had something to say without being interrupted. So i say there have been three women in my life, you being one, that have ALL told me something very similar "Sidney, i have never met another man like you. I can't put my finger on it but you are kind of unique". So i say to her do you maybe think it is my softer femine side you were feeling that made you think subconsciously i like this in a man. I also asked if other than liking and wearing womens cloth had i changed or was i the same person she had married. She was speechless and didnt answer. Almost like a deer in your headlights, her mouth was actually hanging open. Finally the counselor told her it was a very valid question i had presented and she needed to respond. She started and stopped three or four times and finally said, i want to think about this but added he's probably right, he hasn't changed That was the turning point in repairing our marriage and the beginning of her accepting Sidney. Hope this makes sense to yall.