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Thread: To you what is looking passing

  1. #26
    Member MiniRock's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2018
    Wien (Vienna)
    Quote Originally Posted by AngelaYVR View Post
    Like many others, I pass until within the event horizon of another person. Although I think I actually distract as I am always far more gilded than most. Women have such an extraordinary range of clothing options, it would be a colossal waste to not take advantage of it! Wear what you like, not what the unimaginative people do. Normal is another word for average.
    Good for you Angela. Glam is more fun!

  2. #27
    Silver Member Leslie Mary S's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Madison AL
    Stephanie, you and I are in about the same boat. I think I am a bit older. I to am mostly a stay at / and in the home girl too.
    But I do not have the privilege of going out for a walk in our mobile home park. To go for a walk I have got to get into my auto and drive a distance to some park/area were I will not attract attention (hard to fined around here due to neighborhood watches etc.)
    So Stephanie and everyone else who can, enjoy your luxury outings while you can.
    Leslie Mary Shy
    A Southern Hippo in a Tutu
    Everyone can love a woman !

  3. #28
    Member Lori Ann Westlake's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2021
    As others have said, there are "levels" of passing. Can we pass at a modest distance, just walking down the street, or browsing through a grocery store? Some can, and I dare say I have, given enough makeup. I'm luckier than some. I'm not bulky like some men, and I'm 5 feet 11, which is tall for a woman, but not greatly so. I once worked with a woman who was 6 feet 2--and very attractive too. A fair number of women are as tall as I am if they're wearing high heels. At a distance, people are not comparing heights that precisely anyway. That's what I'd call "Passing, Stage One."

    But what if we go to the checkout line, and stand there for some time with people close by studying us?--in pre-Covid days anyway, before "social distancing." I'm not so sure about that.

    Still, how hard do people look? I've looked hard myself at women at the checkout counter who seemed notably masculine. Look at the hands; are they big for a woman? That can be a giveaway. And at a detailed level, if it's visible, is the index finger longer than the ring finger, or vice versa? If it's the latter, hmm...! But I only know about that stuff in the first place because gender is a natural topic of interest to me as a crossdresser. Most people don't even know about that business of finger length, and as for the more obvious clue of hand size, they won't be looking to begin with! They take in the big things first. What do my hairstyle and face look like, superficially at least? Am I wearing a skirt and a pretty top, with an obvious bust? Then I must be a woman!

    Another woman I worked with seemed very masculine in her size and build, including her hands and a very low-pitched voice. Partly due to high testosterone at some stage, I'm sure. Yet it didn't take much "study" to conclude without doubt that she was a genuine GG. (And attractive, a nice woman too, and good to work with. Unlike some, I have no prejudice against "big" women.)

    When it comes to hands, mine are naturally large for a woman's, and yes, I do have that long ring finger--but who's looking? They're more likely looking at the large ring on my finger, thinking it's pretty! If my hands are larger, that's set off by the relative slenderness of my fingers. I don't have "stubby" fingers like some men, what I call "mechanic's hands"--strong and competent like my neighbor's, but unmistakably masculine. My mother always said I had "piano fingers." I guess I have what's called a "gracile" build.

    So maybe I'd pass visually at the checkout counter, as long as people don't look too closely, and detect things like "beard shadow" underneath my thick makeup designed to cover it. "Close quarters" is what I'd call "Passing, Stage Two."

    But then we get to the next stage, which is not visual but auditory. What if I'm asked a question and I'm forced to open my mouth to answer it? "What is your date of birth for this bottle of wine we're selling you?" That's an annoying and intrusive policy recently introduced in my local Fry's grocery stores. So dumbass stupid when we obviously left our 21st birthday behind long ago, and why ask anyway when we're free to lie, since they're not checking IDs. So even if I pass Stage Two under most people's scrutiny, I'm not going to pass Stage Three, since my voice is bound to give me away. Even if I speak in an artificially high voice, it's going to sound false--which is why they call it "falsetto"! I'd fail at Stage Three.

    Even if I could train my voice sufficiently to sound passably feminine--there are matters of feminine cadence to master as well as pitch--I can't imagine passing Helen Highwater's final test, which I'd call Stage Four: talking with someone close up and extensively and leaving them convinced that I'm a woman! There's just too much for them to see through. Helen is right that not many would pass it.

    All I would say is, if anyone is going out in public, don't ignore the most basic giveaways. Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons may have sung "Walk Like a Man" nearly sixty years ago, but that is not the thing to do if you want to "pass" even at a distance when out in public! The right shoes may help you to walk more like a woman!

  4. #29
    Sunshine Gal AngelaYVR's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2014
    British Columbia
    Stephanie, my friend is 6 feet and 220 pounds. She goes out in heels and makes friends everywhere. Do not hold back if you really want to go out more!

  5. #30
    Weirdest woman ever! docrobbysherry's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Orange County, Calif.
    There r no "levels" of passing. A person either believes u r a female or doesn't!

    Very few of us will ever pass. Get over it!
    Which is why I dress for myself and not for some squint eyed toady staring me down at Dennys. Or, for that disapproving ignoramus chuckling loudly at me in Walmart!

    I'm a CD. So, fortunately I don't need to dress to vanilla venues to get my T kicks! Or swoon, thinking I've passed because some SA or server called me "Maam"!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  6. #31
    Aspiring Member Sandi Beech's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2019
    Southeast US
    The more I think about it, I really do not care about passing any more. The reason is that if I can look attractive, get compliments, have a great time, and even more importantly be treated like a lady, who cares if my size or voice etc gives me away, I still had a good outing and to me that is what it is all about. I do what I can with what I have to work with and let the chips fall wherever they land. So far it has been a fun ride and worth going out. Now if I could improve my dancing, that would be a real plus ; )


  7. #32
    Platinum Member Teresa's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    The question of passing or otherwise often originates from the home environment , many say the first big hurdle is stepping out you own frontdoor but the problem that is often behind that is stepping out from a DADT situation .

    The biggest hurdle many face is what the wife /partner thinks , my wife would throw so many obstacles in my face in an attempt to put a stop to it all , even now I live alone that little voice sometimes nags in my ear ,the little doubt creeps in .

    We possibly don't really need to pass 100% even if we wanted to or could , the biggest change for me was having the freedom to be me , passing is very much connected with confidence and with that confidence we gain accpeptance . The phrase often used on the forum is " Own it " ! Believe in yourself and try and forget what aspects may or may not let you down . I openly converse with anyone , my belief is what they see sets the stage very quickly , what you sound like is often overlooked if you act normally . As I mentioned earlier talking about my children and grandchildren is fine but I've learnt to stop referring to " My wife " in those conversations because they have caused raised eyebrows . Am I considered a mother and grandmother , it's hard to say but it is a nice feeling to think they do .
    The real me , no going back.

  8. #33
    Platinum Member
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    Dec 2008
    S.E.Baltimore Co. Maryland USA
    I think Blending is very important,
    Having my ears triple pierced is AWESOME, ~~......

    I can explain it to you, But I can't comprehend it for you !

    If at first you don't succeed, Then Skydiving isn't for you.

    Be careful what you wish for, Once you ring a bell , you just can't Un-Ring it !! !!

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