For Those That Dress With Accepting Wife Around

[Lacyfem]

I am closeted with wife not knowing but I wonder, for those that have accepting wives do you become fem or more fem when you dress in general as I definitely do.... but when you dress around the house with the wife there are you very fem and more like a gurl or do you have the same demeanor as you have without having fem clothing on. Though my wife doesn't know and know she wouldn't approve, I do know that I change totally once I dress and it doesn't seem to be put on as it's just what dressing does to me when I become the gurl I love being. Just wondering again if those wives like their man being so different when they change from what and who they are when in male clothing. Lacy

[Micki_Finn]

No I do not.

[Just Dana]

My physical mannerisms are probably slightly more feminine. Otherwise, I'm still me. But, I go from (looking like a) not very macho guy to someone who'd probably be described as a tomboy.

Dana

[bridget thronton]

I think I act the same regardless of my attire

[mbmeen12]

Just wondering again if those wives like their man being so different when they change from what and who they are when in male clothing. Lacy

I dont really change persona/ go into character (Kara). She has suggested to change my gate (walking) i.e. get the hips moving one time.

[Teresa]

LacyFem,
I can't answer your question as such because I live alone and fulltime as Teresa , some days I don't femme it up too much because I have my home to run and tend the garden . My mother now accepts me and finally my sister , I was very careful how I presented myself , I serioulsy had to think how would a GG have dressed and presented herself in the same circumstances and it worked . I personally feel it's better to avoid doing a man in a dress but at the same time don't make people feel uncomfortable by wearing something inappropriate .

[Cheryl T]

Oh I am definitely more feminine and it doesn't have to do with her being around.
It's simply that I let go of all that male BS. I relax and just be me.
It's not in my style of dress, it's in me. It's how I carry myself, how I talk and mostly how I feel.

[Stephanie47]

I see two things in play. One is mannerism that may arise because I am emulating a woman. I am in DADT with my wife so she is not going to see me wearing heels and a dress. I only wear dresses. That attire does mean I have adopted some female mannerisms. I may walk slower because a three inch heels demands it. I may smooth my dress as I sit down. I may wisp away a long strand of hair from my wig. I may have to adjust a bra strap. Those are external mannerisms. As to demeanor that more the question of the "chicken or the egg." As far as I can think back I believe how I perceive others in the real world have always been the same; accepting everyone until they prove themselves unworthy of my friendship. I've never bought into some societal norms of men because those perceptions or norms are just plain wrong. No dragging my knuckles on the ground with me. Maybe some GG's will chime in to let us know what "becoming a gurl" may be? Or what "more feminine" may be. Presumably, it seems to be the opposite of more masculine?

[LoriB]

As I have been retired for a couple years now I do dress most days during the week for 4 to 5 hours while the kids, who do not know, are at work. My wife definitely feels I am more relaxed and likes what she says is a softer side of me. What she does not understand is my fondness for skirts/dresses, hose and heels as she no longer owns even one. It's slacks and flats only for her.

[kimdl93]

When I dressed fully around my wife, I did not change mannerisms, so far as I was aware.

[beccadeath]

Took a few weeks off here...interesting thread to come back to!

So it's impossible for me to know the FULL answer to this one yet, but I wanted to share that this past Tuesday was the first time it's really even happened.

My mother was watching our 7 year old overnight, and my wife had just gotten her 2nd dose of the Pfizer vaccine so after the boy left, and after finishing my work, I got all femmed up (no makeup, BUT i had shaved errything on Sunday)...wife felt kind of like butts, so I was just hanging out en femme...and I gotta be honest, it was pretty rad. She did note that I was acting a little weird during dinner, but I mentioned I'd never eaten before while dressed up...and I was dealing with boobs vs. the kitchen table, so it was new and a little weird (good weird). She felt like checking in early, so around 10:30 I retreated to my (wo)man cave and played video games and guitar for the rest of the evening...it was the longest I've ever remained dressed, and it was pretty glorious...

Hopefully there will be more sleepovers here with the pandemic presumably winding down. What I'd really like is a full day and night to do the thing...plus makeup. Still haven't done that...

I'm curious what my wife will think or how she will react. She's been super accepting and receptive, although she's openly admitted that it doesn't do anything for her and that she just wants me to be happy. I want to involve her, but *shrug*...we really just watched a movie and didn't do anything out of the ordinary. She has said since I opened up to her (about a month ago now, I guess) that I've been more openly promoting trans rights and the like on social media...but I don't honestly see any of that having been ramped up *shrug*.

Well...thanks for letting me share Sorry to derail.

[Just Dana]

I had a chance to dress fully this past Saturday, for the first time in a number of months. I tried to pay attention to my mannerisms. The hip pads definitely gave me a bit more swing. I don't know if that was due to geometry or my being constantly aware that they were there. The thing that struck me was that my left wrist went completely limp whenever it wasn't doing anything useful! I hadn't really paid attention to that before.

My evening actually went a lot like Becca's. My wife had her second jab that afternoon and went to bed early. I stayed up watching Youtube vids and playing mandolin - with my breasts getting in the way. Lovely!

Dana

[Lacy PJs]

During the times that I do dress in her presence, she definitely says that I'm more relaxed and laid back But I don't think I'm over the edge with femininity.

Lacy PJs

[Tania]

My walk changes and how I sit and hold my hands. My personality softens a bit, but no voice changes or exaggerated hand gestures.

[AndieB]

I'm in the camp of changing my mannerisms for sure. Typically I have more femme hand and arm movements when speaking, and I also speak softer as well, trying to let higher pitches roam free. I feel like when I'm dressed up and engage with my wife in this way, I actually listen better and sometimes we even have more fun. Honestly it's the most relaxing and natural way for me to be, as I'll never pass as some sort of manly man anyway. Nor would I want to!

[Lori Ann Westlake]

Lacy, I found this a hard question to answer because there are two opposing forces at work.

On the one hand, I do tend to act and feel "more feminine" when dressed, and this is a very real phenomenon for some. Researchers have noted and even measured it. That doesn't mean it applies to everybody who crossdresses, so some tend to pooh-pooh the idea from their point of view. But for others of us it's real, and I know it's true in certain ways for me.

On the other hand, with my wife, I have a "normal" way of relating to her as her husband (as anyone would), and perhaps it's hard to change that when I'm "Lori" as opposed to "Larry." It's as if she acts as a "moderating force" on what otherwise might be my tendency to become and act "more feminine" when dressed. In many ways I feel much like the "usual me" with her when dressed, and not prone to "act out" or exaggerate feminine mannerisms,

I do appreciate what Stephanie said about "feminine mannerisms" that are imposed on us by feminine clothing: brushing a skirt under us as we sit down, walking differently in higher heels, flicking away a wisp of long hair, adjusting a bra strap and so on. These can be cues prompting us to act in a "more feminine" manner." As far as these physical things go, I certainly do them when dressed, whether or not I'm with my wife. But as for the rest, it's hard to say.

Would I be different as Lori with someone else? I can't be sure. With another accepting woman, perhaps, just a friend, someone I didn't already have an established relationship with, an established way of relating "to," I might be "more feminine." With my mother, who passed long ago and never knew about my dressing, maybe? With a man, who knows? That could go either way. I might be tempted to "act feminine" and enjoy being treated that way by a man--but only if I felt safe. I might on the other hand feel the need to reassert masculinity as a shield against either masculine ridicule or possible sexual advances. But with my wife, I guess I'm "just me," the person she's always known.

[Pumped]

I fem it up a bit. Try put a bit more swing in the hips, cross my legs like a lady instead of a truck driver, try to be a bit more dainty. Much of it is because i am more careful of my clothing. In male mode I am probably wearing grubby jeans that I wore in the shop so I might wipe sticky fingers off on my clothing, where as a woman, I need a napkin!

[Gi Gondin]

Very interesting topic! How diverse and colorful are our realities and dynamics.

In my case my girlfriend complains when she sees a boy wearing woman's clothes. She loves Gisele and checks in everyday how is my mood to dress? unfortunately for me, my desire to dress vary a lot. It comes and goes. It drives her mad! Last weekend she said her favorite timing was when I?m about to consider a sex change? How can I not love her? ❤️

When in a good mood, my manerisms change a lot. Otherwise, when dressing more to please her, its a boy wearing woman?s clothes!

[franlee]

I think I used to try to act the part more than I do now. But my wife excepted the fact that I enjoy dressing in my fem clothes and roleplay. But in a normal situation when I'm dressed now I am at ease and don't become more fem or sexual, I do it now mostly for de-stressing and comfort. And have accepted me, so we just interact in a casual and normal manner. However, there are special times that call for acting and immersing into a more fem role.

[Samm]

I can pretty much cut and paste Dana's reply, but I will add....
I don't intentionally 'change'. I don't dress to become someone else. I'm still the same person.
I do, however, try to keep a lid on acting too fem around my wife. Although she loves me for me, no matter how I'm presenting, I don't want to push the manurisms too far. After all, she married the male me...

[SaraLin]

I do, however, try to keep a lid on acting too fem around my wife. Although she loves me for me, no matter how I'm presenting, I don't want to push the manurisms too far. After all, she married the male me...

This it it for me. We arranged what is and is not OK with her before we got married. One of her "sticky points" in the beginning was that she complained that I was "acting too swishy" when I was in my nighties, and she didn't like it at all. I didn't even realize I was doing anything different, so I was surprised.

So - that put me in an odd situation. It was OK to wear some feminine stuff, but I couldn't act feminine at all. Weird, huh?
She hasn't complained in years, so either she got used to me or I learned to stop whatever it was that was upsetting her. I'm guessing it's the first.

[Maria 60]

That's an interesting question, because my wife tells me I'm much more calm when dressed. She has even asked me to get dressed at times because she would rather have curtain conversations knowing I'm more calm and focused dressed.
I don't realize it but my wife tells me I'm act more feminine when dressed.

[Cass42]

Wife loves it here as well and loves me as Cassie more

[Cass42]

Wife loves it with me as Cassie fulltime

[JenniferWhenCD]

I think I do dress to be someone else. I am now dressed all weekend, and we go out together, typically to nearby towns. I want to fit in, and move and speak to do just that. Most of the neighbors have seen me dressed, and I have conversations with a couple of them while dressed. In all these cases I change my mannerisms to try and fit in with how I look and feel.