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Thread: Wondering how long members have gone without feeling like dressing?

  1. #1
    Aspiring Member Star01's Avatar
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    Wondering how long members have gone without feeling like dressing?

    OK, let me start out by admitting that I'm asking this question on a crossdressing forum so I obviously still feel a connection but I have not dressed fully for close to a year and a half. I have had a few opportunities during this past year due to lock down and by the end of the day was too tired and disinterested to dress.

    I know this feeling never leaves but I think a combination of things this past year have taken the wind out of my sails. It's such an uphill battle to try to do anything and I think that combined with age and other worries have kind of wiped out my desire to dress. I'm still going to therapy trying to make sense of of things but the sessions are now about life in general. I got put on medication for anxiety a couple of weeks ago and that seems to be having an effect as well.

    I'm not sure at what point my crossdresser card will be revoked but I'm thinking that could be next. But seriously, I have gone years thinking my dressing was behind me, most recently from around 2004 to 2012 before it came back. I think a lot of feeling this way really boils down to being so restricted that it has become an out of sight out of mind thing. I guess I should be happy because it removes a layer of complication from my life that is hard to manage.

  2. #2
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    Well, I don't think the card will ever be revoked...it's just one of those things that's going to live in you forever, at least that's how it feels for me.

    I've been much more active lately, and I don't know why that is...but I suspect it's for a variety of reasons.

    I do want to add this, I don't know if anxiety is common among crossdressers or if having anxiety turns crossdressing into a "trigger" but I feeeeeeel that in my bones. I do wonder how much being on a good anxiety medication might suppress some of the urges or at minimum the anxiety around it.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member kimdl93's Avatar
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    I would say that the longest hiatus I can recall was a period of about 15-18 months following separation and divorce from my second wife. We broke up over failing to come to a workable accommodation of my gender issues, and I tried for months following to convince her and myself that I was able to quit. It didn’t work. When she filed for divorce and subsequently began a new, serious relationship, I gave up on denial.

    During that time, I don’t suppose I went for long without “feeling” like dressing, but I abstained.
    The years to come seemed waste of breath,
    A waste of breath the years behind

  4. #4
    What a great life
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    I gone as long as 4 years and not one time did I have the desire and I though maybe I might have taken the blue pill instead of the red one. When it came back it came back hard and I couldn't shake it. This is who I am for life and I am peace with myself and love it. This is from my heart

  5. #5
    Platinum Member Karren Hutton's Avatar
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    Almost 20 years.... come to find out it was due to a medical condition! That is under control now.... where as my crossdressing is out of control! Lol.

  6. #6
    Gold Member Alice Torn's Avatar
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    The desire has not really gone away, but the energy and work to do it and act out is not there much. And old age, and health issues, both mental and physical . I have not dressed in several months now. I am all alone, and no one to help if i get badly injured or ill, and i need to put reality ahead of dressing . End of life issues, the dangerous scary times we are now in, too. I wish the desire would just go away for good. It is a deep inner need i think i was born with. When is die, it will be gone. I choose not to act on it though, as it has increased my isolation and distance from all relationships with others.
    Last edited by Alice Torn; 04-15-2021 at 11:13 AM.
    IT TAKES A REAL DRESS TO WEAR A MAN.

  7. #7
    Sort of a n00b Pixie_94's Avatar
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    I don't remember much the last times, but currently almost 5 months or so, trying not to even think about it or trying to repress if any sort of urge appears.

  8. #8
    Member Lori Ann Westlake's Avatar
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    A good question, Star--and a with a lot of very varied answers, so I see!

    I suspect it makes a difference what's motivating the crossdressing. If it's chiefly a matter of gender dysphoria, the needs can be very insistent, and if they're not fulfilled, extremely depressing. Yet with some people it seems that gender-related needs can in some circumstances go underground for long periods, even for years, or not emerge at all until later in life.

    Speaking for myself, my crossdressing has been at least partly sexually motivated, and since my early teens when it started I can't say I've ever gone more than a few weeks at most without wanting to crossdress. With me it's not "relief from anxiety." Luckily I've never habitually suffered from anxiety, and unlike some, I'm comfortable in male mode. It's more like "I just can't resist the urge."

    I will admit I haven't put as much effort into crossdressing in recent years as I got older, into wearing makeup every time and so forth. The old TV/TS Tapestry magazine that used to be published in the 80s and 90s once ran an article called "The Tired Transvestite," about how many of us get lazy as we get older. Sometimes it's enough for me to toss on a skirt and panties around the house, with an accessory or two, or a nightdress at night, and I feel "feminine enough."

    Also while I have not been historically an "anxious" kind of person, I have had serious vision problems during the past year, and that has been worrying. I probably have felt less like dressing during that period. Unlike some, I dress for pleasure and enjoyment and not to relieve inner stress. It was the same with smoking, when I used to smoke--I gave that up sixteen years ago. Apart from the nicotine addiction itself I smoked for pleasure and not, as some people do, to relieve stress. So after the initial phase, I had no trouble giving it up permanently, since there are other pleasures in life, unlike those ex-smokers who are driven to find other ways of relieving stress and have a hard time quitting for good.

    But crossdressing is different. The desire to dress does wax and wane somewhat as the weeks go by, but it's never left me for very long. I'm sure I would have a very hard time if I were obliged to give it up entirely. That's something I've never succeeded in doing, despite making game efforts in my earlier years. My resolve never lasted more than a few weeks at most, until I finally decided to "give up giving it up"!

  9. #9
    I can only be me Samm's Avatar
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    The longest I've gone is a year. Which was the first year I met my (now) wife.
    Any other time where I did not dress was during new relationships.... It always comes back.
    Now, my dry spells are due to working two jobs. But are never longer than a week.

  10. #10
    Senior Member JocelynJames's Avatar
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    At one point I went 10 years, but I was just very busy with a family and business and was in the closet anyways. Nowadays ,
    I regularly go 7 months or so. I talk my self out of dressing quicker than I can talk myself into it.
    If you only knew the power of the pink fog! ~Joss

  11. #11
    Amanda countrygirl's Avatar
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    6 months
    Amanda

  12. #12
    Aspiring Member April Rose's Avatar
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    I've gone years without dressing. I don't think I've ever gone more than a week without thinking about it.
    I am a vessel of the goddess. Let me express my calling to a feminine life through nurturing love and relatedness.

  13. #13
    Super Moderator Raychel's Avatar
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    I went almost 15 years. After I got married
    and kids were growing up. Then it came back
    and even stronger then before, on a few month rest
    period now.

    Maybe be a couple of months before I get a chance again
    But definitely not turning in my card.

    Time will come and Raychel will be back for sure
    my sister's reply when I told her how I prefer to dress

    "Everyone has there thing, all that matters is that you are happy, love what you do and who you do it with"

  14. #14
    AKA Lexi sometimes_miss's Avatar
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    About ten years. Turned out, it wasn't gone, just subconsciously repressed because everything else in my life was going well at the time. Like a computer with nothing much going on, the repressed thoughts going on in the background never made it to consciousness. But start to overload it with other tasks, like dealing with losing a job, having to work a lower paying job full time, go to school full time, and deal with an irritable wife full time, and that background thought process will bring everything else to a halt, while it takes priority over all others.
    After that ten year hiatus, the desire to crossdress arose to conscious prominence with a vengeance.
    Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
    There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
    Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.

  15. #15
    Rural T Girl Teri Ray's Avatar
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    Depends............... I started very young (7-8 years old) got married and started a family and went 25 years without dressing and then BAM the desire and opportunity struck me and I dressed on and off from then on. I have had periods where I can barely think of anything else besides dressing being planning or buying items to wear and then I can go for months being busy with life and never have the desire to dress, even when opportunity presents itself.

    I have checked my CD handbook and found that as long as you keep a minimum of one pair of panties somewhere in your house you will not loose your CD card, provided you check on the panty location once a month.
    Teri Ray Rural Idaho Girl.

  16. #16
    Lady By Choice Leslie Langford's Avatar
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    How long have I gone without feeling like crossdressing? The short answer is several hours...maybe, and on a good day.

    As for the opportunity of acting upon it...well, the short answer again is "Covid 19", and the dearth of "Leslie" time, what with all this "togetherness" with my spouse during these social distancing and forced lockdown times...

  17. #17
    Aspiring Member kayegirl's Avatar
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    I agree with Leslie, there is a difference between thinking about dressing, and actually being able to dress. Luckily this does not apply to me now, but in the past, I constantly thought about dressing, but due to work and family etc. only got very rare opportunities.Now, it's the other way around, it's a rare day when I don't dress to some degree.

  18. #18
    Silver Member prene's Avatar
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    max maybe one week, usually not more than 10-12 hrs, always underdress

  19. #19
    Life is for having fun. suzy1's Avatar
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    Two minutes and 38 seconds not counting when asleep and not dreaming.

  20. #20
    Aspiring Member Angela1954's Avatar
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    I once went almost 2 years without dressing, but he urge was always there. After I started dressing again I knew that something deeper was involved.. Now the pandemic has drastically cut down on my dressing, mostly because I don't like wearing a mask with my makeup. However there is a bright side. A few weeks ago I applied for a position; and when the question of sex was listed I chose the response, which I cannot quite remember, which basically said neither. I went to the interview with a nice pair of women's dress pants and a small purse. No make, wig, etc. I don't know if I got he job but going out for the first time presenting as a female so to speak was liberating; because I now feel I can acknowledge my feminine side openly. So long answer as I said I did stop for a while but no more.
    Last edited by Angela1954; 04-15-2021 at 06:53 AM.

  21. #21
    Reality Check Krisi's Avatar
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    I feel like dressing pretty much every day, but I sometimes go for long periods where I can't so I just get over it and do what I'm supposed to do.
    Krisi

  22. #22
    Senior Member GretchenM's Avatar
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    Great question Star. Raychel describes the way it was and has been and is for me very well. There have been long periods where the needs to dress have declined to nothing. But the sense of the female-like identity is always there in some form or other. She was my enemy for 59 years; the one who made me do things that I had been taught, somewhat forcefully, were wrong. "I am a male and males don't wear women's clothes unless there are some marbles missing." Now she is my best friend and we collaborate on everything, but that does not actually require dressing to do. For me, Dressing is just an outward way to express that inner feeling that nobody can touch or eliminate. Gretchen does not need to be all there is in the expression because she does it in other ways that involve female-like behavior.

    On the other hand, on most days I do wear something that is designed, manufactured, and marketed to women. I love women's T-shirts even though they are almost identical to men's. They are usually longer and the fabric seems a bit better and softer. But the colors are amazing. Rarely do you see that in men's T-shirts. And on most days I underdressed to some degree, but that is not an outward expression.

    It is not unusual to have lulls in those of us where going 24/7 with transition is not really a need or even a want. We are part of a spectrum that is vast and extremely variable. Nevertheless, for me, it is fun once in awhile to really go for it and do the complete transformation. It feels really wonderful, but after a few hours it often slides back into the partial mode. But that does not mean the feelings and identity pattern that produces that desire goes away. It is still very much a part of my daily behavior to have a usually little bit of dominant female-like feeling that, now, is smoothly blended with the male-like feelings. Up until 9 years ago it was a war; now it just me and so far as I can tell all my marbles are still there.

  23. #23
    Platinum Member
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    How long with feeling like dressing?
    The short answer is when I was in the army for two years; especially when I was in Viet Nam. All thoughts and energy were directed to surviving. The last time I was able to fully dress from wig down to heels was pre-covid. My wife babysat our grandchild at my daughter and son-in-laws apartment on New Years Eve 2020. In January, 2020 she was overnight in the hospital post op for a total knee replacement. When my wife fully retired from the teaching profession I lost the daily opportunity to be en femme for seven hours daily. Now? Until Covid is squashed to the extent my daughter and son-in-law want to escape overnight and my wife babysits again it is limited. My wife sleeps late. A long time ago she made me a ankle length fluffy bath robe. So, today, like most mornings while I am banging away on this keyboard I am wearing a bra, panty and full slip under the bath robe. Other mornings it is one of the nightgown I sleep in as my wife and I sleep apart for medical reasons. Just yesterday I order a Shadowline long nightgown in black. I recently bought a red Shadowline nightgown. That's about the extent of my femme time; sleeping in a choice of pink, red, white, and teal nighties with matching bra and panty and changing into a full slip in the early morning.

  24. #24
    Aspiring Member Star01's Avatar
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    Even when my thoughts turn away from dressing I still shave my body and put on scented lotion and panties most days. I am not purging either and I fully expect to want to dress again. I am close to two weeks out from the second shot and recently purchased a much nicer vehicle to restore my mobility. The desire to dress will come back.

  25. #25
    Exploring NEPA now Cheryl T's Avatar
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    How long without WANTING to dress?
    Honestly I would have to say no longer than a week Ever. And during that week I'm sure I thought about it many times.
    How long without actually dressing? That's different. When I was younger and in school I probably went months without it. Once I got married that all changed as I was of course surrounded by femme things all the time.
    During the last 16 years I don't think I've gone a day without wanting to dress and I haven't gone more than a day or two without dressing.
    Wear what makes you feel Confident !

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