Where do you go?

[Kandi Robbins]

Not sure where you live, but if you want to go out and soak it all in, visit a museum. You will be in public. You will be in an accepting environment. You can leisurely walk about, listen to your heels click, take photos, basically just breathe and relax. You may well have a wonderful interaction with someone. Then grab a glass of wine somewhere.

[Debs]

I am in the UK and am very fortunate to live near a seaside place called Blackpool (google it), its got loads of drag clubs and gay venues, there are safe places and very safe places if you know where to go, never really have any trouble if I stick to safe venues all within a half mile radius, some clubs are 100 yards between each other, got to say all seem to be welcome wether you pass as female or not, I stay at a place called "Peak a Booze" its a drag club with bed and breakfast stay over the club, so you only have to walk downstairs to be in a bar full of Crossdressers, Trans , and evrything else yu can imagin, and I love it everybody friendly, always have an amazing night, other clubs down the road "The Flying Handbag" is another great safe venue, and several stops eitherside of the road. Now shopping in the afternoon in Blackpool is safe in the town centre, nobody seems to care, and lots of shops to dart into if you have a problem, big shopping malls with security also make you feel safe, you actually notice quite a few of our girls out shopping, but nobody really bats an eylid in Blackpool. There are no no go places though, the pubs on the sea front can be a bit unsafe, with stag parties and macho gangs, so we dont go down there not even in a group. My point is if you pick the right venues who cares if you pass or not, your not going to get challenged or judged, so do your homework and pick the right place to go, and nobody gives a hoot what you look like.

[Lori Ann Westlake]

Sounds like Blackpool really reinvented itself!

[MarinaTwelve200]

I don't go anywhere--I stay home---and experiment and photograph the results.

[Sandi Beech]

Charlotte

I suspect many of us have been where you find yourself now - wanting to go out but unsure of ourselves. I totally get it because I have been there as well.

FYI the car situation is easy to resolve, just use Lyft or Uber. I have used them while dressed probably 100 or more times and never had an issue with them. In fact one male driver pulled out his phone and showed me a picture of himself dressed up. We had a fun conversation about it.

I have pretty much gotten where I mostly just go to LGBT friendly bars and clubs. I almost always end up having lengthy and friendly conversations with accepting people. I just do not have that happen all that much when shopping although that can be fun, so I am not knocking shopping. That is fun as well.

You are attractive enough you will not have any problems. The only thing holding you back now is self doubt. Once you have friendly interactions with others, your confidence will go WAY up. You just have to trust me on that.

Of course I would not go out and about that much unless you have the covid vaccine if I were you. Good luck, you can do it.

Sandi

[Rachelakld]

I started a a quiet coffee shop early in the morning and botanic gardens, the movies, libraries can be quiet, eventually the doctors, blood bank, the mall, the pools and occasionally the local bar

[Krisi]

The risk is that it's a classic car, and it's pretty recognisable. My parents have lived in the same location for 30+ years, and both they and their house are well known as "the classic car house".

OK, that's understandable. You don't have your own car? How do you normally get around (as a male)?

[CharlotteCD]

I share a car with my wife - it was a massive saving, and we very rarely clash with car needs. My wife will be with her mum this time however and have the car. I've got free reign to use my parents car whenever I want, I just need to time it right...

[CarynPB]

Wish I was as brave as some of you girls! I've only been out a few times. Local gay bars, a few night-time drives etc. Need to get over the fear I guess ( so self conscious about being tall).

[samuktv]

My first time I said to myself I just go to the waterfront and walk around. Then I thought, screw it, life is daring adventure or nothing at all. So I just took the train in the city centre and just spent the shopping and interacting with sales assistants. X

[XemmaX]

Coffee shop is a good start, i think.

[Bobbi46]

My first time out were bordering on frightening but i had to do that because it was a part of me and was something I had to do complete my journey as it were. Subsquently to that o clothes shop that I became a regular customer was a huge boost to my confidence and I was helped greatly by the two women that worked there, sadly that shop is no longer there and since then my confidence has reched the point that I am no longer bothered by the odd glance, if, for whatever reason I get looked at longer than at other times I give a polite smile and/or hello and that works wonders. Add to this that I go pretty much everywhere now.

[Julie 29]

Before the Pandemic I would go to the Exit in Chicago. The have a DJ that plays Metal, Industial, and Punk music. The people there are friendly and down to earth. Parking doesn't cost a anythings.https://www.google.com/search?gs_ssp...hrome&ie=UTF-8. I hope later this year if not next year to go to the Exit again.

[TheHiddenMe]

Wish I was as brave as some of you girls! I've only been out a few times. Local gay bars, a few night-time drives etc. Need to get over the fear I guess ( so self conscious about being tall).

I read stories on this board and on blogs about going out in public. I decided if others did it and lived to talk about it, then I could too.

So I did. I've had probably 200 times out since then, zero bad experiences. I've been to maybe one LGBT specific location (with Kandi in Cleveland). Otherwise, every location has been in the world of the muggles.

[Andrea Renea]

To the mall, ATM. post office, Target, Walmart, grocery store, Casinos in Cherokee NC
Las Vegas, Biloxi.

Pretty much anywhere I would normally go.

I've been called "sir" a few times but mostly referred to as ma'am or miss.

[Genifer Teal]

There's an old joke that said if a crossdresser goes out and doesn't take a photo does it count? I think that's similar to yours if no one sees you. I think we build our own circle of acceptance. We make our own place to go out sort of. Perhaps it's easier because I'm fortunate to live near New York City, east of the city. I've managed to carve my own little niche in the 50s single crowd. I can go to a lot of different places and usually run into a handful of people I know. Maybe there's a hobby you like or something else and you can make a space for yourself there. All it took was acceptance from a few and they grew to acceptance from many. I hope you can find a place where you can feel at home like I do.

[CarynPB]

not sure how I could leave this out....while on vacation in Tokyo...the Onnanoko Club in Shinjuku, A small crossdresser bar that provides clothes and makeup. No one besides me spoke English but it was a blast!

[HollyGreene]

I live near the sea, so I often go walking on the cliff tops in one of the less busy areas. Or I go through the park that leads down to the beach.

[Lana Mae]

Where ever I want! Dress for the venue, get your walk down, enjoy to the max! Hugs Lana Mae

[Sometimes Steffi]

I go shopping at vanilla stores en femme, usually alone, but sometimes with friends. I go out to restaurants and bars (both vanilla and LGBT), sometimes alone and sometimes with friends. I go out with my local T-girl group, usually 20 to 40 girls, but it's been as many as 100. We usually hang out at the bar/restaurant at a local hotel. Some of the best expediences have been meeting GGs while we were out, like the GG girls from the quincinerra party or the GG girls from the travelling soccer team, or the people from the wedding party.

[Lori Anne]

My first time out, dressed, i checked my (away from home) mailbox; then feeling brave, I did my grocery shopping. If I go out dressed now, I just do whatever I'd do if I were not "dressed". I just try to blend in.

[CynthiaD]

Last week was my “two weeks after second shot” so I’ve been going out en femme every day since. Let’s see if I can remember ...
Friday Salt Grass Steakhouse for dinner. Also, I checked into a hotel en femme, using my male name. Not my first time.
Saturday, went to a wig shop for a new wig. I got some snacks at CVS. I also stopped at “Buckey’s” on the way home. It’s a convenience store on steroids.
Sunday, drove to the park, but was too overdressed to use the exercise trail.
Monday, went for a walk inside Walmart. Can’t remember what I bought.
Tuesday, did the exercise trail at the park. Got some donuts and some cupcakes at two different stores.
Wednesday, dropped some stuff off at Goodwill.
Thursday, more donuts. Got lunch at an Italian place.
Friday, (today) went for a walk inside of Kohl’s (it’s been rainy). Got some new earrings. Went to Starbucks for coffee.

To OP: does this answer your question?

I don’t go any special place when I’m en femme. I just do regular stuff, because I’m just a regular gal.

[Jillcder]

My first public outing was a mall 4yrs ago since then I have been out at least 50 times mainly shopping in the malls fortunately I live in the Minneapolis area with the mall of America being a great all day outing. Recently I have started going out to nice restaurants with what I consider a safe bar atmosphere. I also dress at hotels when traveling for work. Next on my list is a casino and I would love to sit at a crowded bar on Friday evening.

[Teresa.Smith.VA]

Deleted by Teresa.

[JulieC]

I wish I could have that joy. Don't get me wrong; my wife is 100% supportive, and would do this. It's me that's the problem. I have too many features that are dead giveaways that prevent me from passing. I would want to pass enough at least to make people second guess themselves if they suspected. But, I am way far off from pulling that off. My only advantage in that regard is that I am not all that tall. But, I've got a huge head, block jaw, etc. etc.

So for me when I want to get out in public...it's to get into public but not be seen, per se. I don't go into stores. I especially like rainy, cold evenings when I can wear a nice dress and heels, cover up well and carry an umbrella to hide my face to anyone who comes close by.