Where do you go?

[CharlotteCD]

As posted in another thread, i've got the opportunity to dress and go out in just over a week. I'm really excited, but I don't know where I would go or what I would do...

I'm not sure about going for a drive just for the sake of going for a drive, as I am borrowing a car that weekend from my parents, and it seems like I am asking for trouble.

Going for a walk is somewhat of an option, however I will be somewhat conscious to be alone, even at my height.

Have I even gone out if I don't see anybody though? It's the weird conundrum of not wanting to see anybody, but I may as well have not gone out if I don't!

So where do you go?

[Karren H]

In my book.... Number one... Shopping.... number two... shopping! Three.... Lol. I love going shopping enfemme! And going for a ride just for rides sake is a valid reason! Also going to a Casino enfemme is really fun as is going to the mall or going out to eat!

[Jennifer in CO]

Charlotte, you don't say when you get to go out. Is it a daytime adventure? evening? whole day or a weekend? You say your worried about your height. I assume your tall. I'm 6'3 so most important is own it. If you don't want attention right off the bat, wear flats/loafers or other low-heeled shoe. Dress for what your doing /where your going. Before I transitioned in 81 my wife and I had gone out to dinner. I had always been a bit self-conscious of my height till that night. We had gone to the local Steak and Ale and were sitting in the waiting area when in walks several members of the then Dallas Diamonds womens basketball team. Not a one of them was under 6ft and I had to look up to one of them at 6'6. After several comments about why I wasn't on the team I explained about my asthma and they quickly understood. We sat and talked for a good 5-10 minutes then got called for our table. They were seated several tables from us and it gave me the opportunity to observe them. The most important thing I noticed was they ""owned" their stature. They were who they were and it was no big deal.
My life changed after that night. So I was a tall woman...big deal. It wasn't an overnight switch, but I'd say after a few weeks of consciously making the effort to not be self-conscious the idea finally took hold. Being tall was finally no big deal. My wife could tell you the night the "shell" fell off. We went out to dinner. Same restaurant. I wore 4" heels...

[CharlotteCD]

I'm 6ft 5, and I've currently got a broken ankle that needs surgery, so I'm off crutches and heels, so flats only with some very unsexy strapping when I go out.

I've got an evening to myself - realistically I won't get out in the morning as it's going to be too early to get up and do makeup before I have to go again.

[docrobbysherry]

I go out with other trans to CD friendly venues. So do a lot of other dressers!

Visit the sections in the forum here that deal with events and outings if u r ever interested in that!

[Michaela Jane]

Charlotte, it's nice to see a girl taller than my 6' 3". Most of my "going out" has been in stealth femme and only once have I been out anywhere in a skirt and wig. Then it was a park, plenty of people around and a park that had places to sit.

[Alice Torn]

I m six six, and did go out several times a year for a while, to outdoor classical concerts, to a few stores, and walking, but never talked much with anyone. I never could find size 16 flats, so wore 4"' or 2 1/2" heels. Was made fun of my some teens.

[Ressie]

Went out with a few CD friends during the last 6 weeks. There's a kind of new Hamburger Mary's in the area so that was our first outing. A couple weeks later we went to a restaurant/bar kind of upscale place. No problems at either venue other than the covid restrictions on seating/spacing.

[MarinaTwelve200]

I don't go anywhere--I stay home---and experiment and photograph the results.

[MonicaPVD]

When I started going out dressed, I would run errands a town or two away from my own. Grocery store, pharmacy, bank ATM. Have a set of tasks to complete is much more normalizing than slinking around solo, imagining that every random glance your way is judgmental. (Hint: they aren't.) Plus, going out alone aimlessly gets boring fast.

[TheHiddenMe]

That's the spirit!

Here's what I did.

https://www.crossdressers.com/forums...ing&highlight=

Hannah of this forum and hannahmcknight.org is tall also. It doesn't stop her.

I finally figured out that people may know it's a guy in a dress but they don't know it's ME in the dress.

I wanted to try on clothes, so I made arrangements to make it happen.

And I realized that the world didn't care, except for those who I met who cheered and supported me.

What do you WANT to do?

Choices are malls, casinos, stores, restaurants, cafes, museums, etc. But malls are a good first choice.

If you want to know where I go, I've got about 75 threads in the picture gallery talking about them--all since the first one I linked above.

[kimdl93]

I started like almost everyone...going on daytime trips to the mall. Fairly soon I was walking my dogs in the neighborhood, going to the bank Starbucks, grocery shopping, to the dry cleaners, live theater, museums and even the auto dealership for routine maintenance. Eventually, I began traveling cross country in girl mode too. My favorite places...really I think i?ve most enjoyed going out to dinner and drinks, with friends or alone.

[Yinlingyen]

To start , window shopping is great. No one can bother you and you get to see your own reflection in the window.
Once you gain confidence you can go for a walk in a mall which is safer than the streets.
Once you gain more confidence you can even interact with people.
That's how I started.

[Krisi]

I will just post some things that I have done. They may or may not work for you:

Walk around inside a shopping mall. Stop and look in the windows, sit on the benches and watch people go by.

Go to the tourist part of town and act like a tourist. Look at the sights, read the historical signs, take photos, etc.

Drive around (you'll probably have to drive to get to the places mentioned above anyway), get out of the car to mail a letter, throw trash in a public trash container and pump gas into the car.

Some of these things will not excite everyone, but I'm not comfortable going to clubs, bars, etc. and not comfortable talking to sales people in stores because of my voice.

Best of luck.

[abby054]

Good question. Where I live, shopping is futile. Entertainment and dining were sparse to begin with. What COVID did not wipe out, Amazon did. The only clothing store closer than 150 km is a Ross. The biggest clothing store in town is primarily a hardware store. The fashion police gave up and moved away. Travel is not an option. New spacious airports (like Boise and others) are sprouting like weeds but they all look totally vacant all the time, even before COVID. The daily riots and aggressive vagrants make the big cities, Seattle and Portland, too dangerous even for non cross dressers. The border to Canada is closed.

What do people do here, a long distance from anywhere? Outdoor activities of all kinds. But everyone regardless of gender looks the same when dressing for the outdoors. Buttons on the other side of a shirt is as gender varying as it gets. All dressed up and no place to go is the order of the day.

[Jillian Faith]

Well the broken ankle certainly puts a damper on dressing and going out, but I'm with Karren when in doubt I go shopping!

[Julie 29]

Before the Pandemic I would go to the Exit in Chicago. The have a DJ that plays Metal, Industial, and Punk music. The people there are friendly and down to earth. Parking doesn't cost a anythings.https://www.google.com/search?gs_ssp...hrome&ie=UTF-8. I hope later this year if not next year to go to the Exit again.

[Bobbi46]

My first time out were bordering on frightening but i had to do that because it was a part of me and was something I had to do complete my journey as it were. Subsquently to that o clothes shop that I became a regular customer was a huge boost to my confidence and I was helped greatly by the two women that worked there, sadly that shop is no longer there and since then my confidence has reched the point that I am no longer bothered by the odd glance, if, for whatever reason I get looked at longer than at other times I give a polite smile and/or hello and that works wonders. Add to this that I go pretty much everywhere now.

[CarynPB]

Wish I was as brave as some of you girls! I've only been out a few times. Local gay bars, a few night-time drives etc. Need to get over the fear I guess ( so self conscious about being tall).

[TheHiddenMe]

Wish I was as brave as some of you girls! I've only been out a few times. Local gay bars, a few night-time drives etc. Need to get over the fear I guess ( so self conscious about being tall).

I read stories on this board and on blogs about going out in public. I decided if others did it and lived to talk about it, then I could too.

So I did. I've had probably 200 times out since then, zero bad experiences. I've been to maybe one LGBT specific location (with Kandi in Cleveland). Otherwise, every location has been in the world of the muggles.

[Andrea Renea]

To the mall, ATM. post office, Target, Walmart, grocery store, Casinos in Cherokee NC
Las Vegas, Biloxi.

Pretty much anywhere I would normally go.

I've been called "sir" a few times but mostly referred to as ma'am or miss.

[Teresa]

Charlotte,
May I ask what is the risk with the car , is it because it could be recognised or because driving is difficult with your injury ?

I would still suggest you take a drive rather than walking too far with your ankle situation , I wouldn't want to risk a further fall and then find it's made worse because you are dressed as Charlotte .

As for me I don't have to think about where to go for something special because it's just normal to be out as Teresa everyday . When the next stage of lockdown eases I will be going to view stately homes and gardens and just enjoying feeling that little bit freer .

[CharlotteCD]

Charlotte,
May I ask what is the risk with the car , is it because it could be recognised or because driving is difficult with your injury ?

The risk is that it's a classic car, and it's pretty recognisable. My parents have lived in the same location for 30+ years, and both they and their house are well known as "the classic car house".

Whilst some may mistake me for my Mum, the concern is still that it either breaks down, I am spotted and read by a family friend, have an accident because of my nerves, or get pulled in by the police.

I've been pulled over once in 14 years, and totally deserved it, so the likelihood is very low, but the fear is very real.

[Krisi]

The risk is that it's a classic car, and it's pretty recognisable. My parents have lived in the same location for 30+ years, and both they and their house are well known as "the classic car house".

OK, that's understandable. You don't have your own car? How do you normally get around (as a male)?

[CharlotteCD]

I share a car with my wife - it was a massive saving, and we very rarely clash with car needs. My wife will be with her mum this time however and have the car. I've got free reign to use my parents car whenever I want, I just need to time it right...