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Thread: Where do you go?

  1. #1
    Member CharlotteCD's Avatar
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    Oct 2009

    Where do you go?

    As posted in another thread, i've got the opportunity to dress and go out in just over a week. I'm really excited, but I don't know where I would go or what I would do...

    I'm not sure about going for a drive just for the sake of going for a drive, as I am borrowing a car that weekend from my parents, and it seems like I am asking for trouble.

    Going for a walk is somewhat of an option, however I will be somewhat conscious to be alone, even at my height.

    Have I even gone out if I don't see anybody though? It's the weird conundrum of not wanting to see anybody, but I may as well have not gone out if I don't!

    So where do you go?

  2. #2
    Miss Conception Karren Hutton's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    South Western PA
    In my book.... Number one... Shopping.... number two... shopping! Three.... Lol. I love going shopping enfemme! And going for a ride just for rides sake is a valid reason! Also going to a Casino enfemme is really fun as is going to the mall or going out to eat!

  3. #3
    Senior Member Jennifer in CO's Avatar
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    Jun 2004
    Rocky Mountains
    Charlotte, you don't say when you get to go out. Is it a daytime adventure? evening? whole day or a weekend? You say your worried about your height. I assume your tall. I'm 6'3 so most important is own it. If you don't want attention right off the bat, wear flats/loafers or other low-heeled shoe. Dress for what your doing /where your going. Before I transitioned in 81 my wife and I had gone out to dinner. I had always been a bit self-conscious of my height till that night. We had gone to the local Steak and Ale and were sitting in the waiting area when in walks several members of the then Dallas Diamonds womens basketball team. Not a one of them was under 6ft and I had to look up to one of them at 6'6. After several comments about why I wasn't on the team I explained about my asthma and they quickly understood. We sat and talked for a good 5-10 minutes then got called for our table. They were seated several tables from us and it gave me the opportunity to observe them. The most important thing I noticed was they ""owned" their stature. They were who they were and it was no big deal.
    My life changed after that night. So I was a tall woman...big deal. It wasn't an overnight switch, but I'd say after a few weeks of consciously making the effort to not be self-conscious the idea finally took hold. Being tall was finally no big deal. My wife could tell you the night the "shell" fell off. We went out to dinner. Same restaurant. I wore 4" heels...

  4. #4
    Member CharlotteCD's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    I'm 6ft 5, and I've currently got a broken ankle that needs surgery, so I'm off crutches and heels, so flats only with some very unsexy strapping when I go out.

    I've got an evening to myself - realistically I won't get out in the morning as it's going to be too early to get up and do makeup before I have to go again.

  5. #5
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Orange County, Calif.
    I go out with other trans to CD friendly venues. So do a lot of other dressers!

    Visit the sections in the forum here that deal with events and outings if u r ever interested in that!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  6. #6
    Aspiring Member MonicaPVD's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2018
    New England
    When I started going out dressed, I would run errands a town or two away from my own. Grocery store, pharmacy, bank ATM. Have a set of tasks to complete is much more normalizing than slinking around solo, imagining that every random glance your way is judgmental. (Hint: they aren't.) Plus, going out alone aimlessly gets boring fast.

  7. #7
    Platinum Member kimdl93's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Nearing the end of the trail.
    I started like almost everyone...going on daytime trips to the mall. Fairly soon I was walking my dogs in the neighborhood, going to the bank Starbucks, grocery shopping, to the dry cleaners, live theater, museums and even the auto dealership for routine maintenance. Eventually, I began traveling cross country in girl mode too. My favorite places...really I think i?ve most enjoyed going out to dinner and drinks, with friends or alone.
    Last edited by kimdl93; 04-22-2021 at 06:47 AM.

  8. #8
    Senior Member TheHiddenMe's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2016
    Metro East area near St. Louis, Missouri
    That's the spirit!

    Here's what I did.

    Hannah of this forum and is tall also. It doesn't stop her.

    I finally figured out that people may know it's a guy in a dress but they don't know it's ME in the dress.

    I wanted to try on clothes, so I made arrangements to make it happen.

    And I realized that the world didn't care, except for those who I met who cheered and supported me.

    What do you WANT to do?

    Choices are malls, casinos, stores, restaurants, cafes, museums, etc. But malls are a good first choice.

    If you want to know where I go, I've got about 75 threads in the picture gallery talking about them--all since the first one I linked above.
    Last edited by TheHiddenMe; 04-21-2021 at 07:58 PM.

  9. #9
    Member Yinlingyen's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2015
    To start , window shopping is great. No one can bother you and you get to see your own reflection in the window.
    Once you gain confidence you can go for a walk in a mall which is safer than the streets.
    Once you gain more confidence you can even interact with people.
    That's how I started.

  10. #10
    Reality Check Krisi's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2014
    I will just post some things that I have done. They may or may not work for you:

    Walk around inside a shopping mall. Stop and look in the windows, sit on the benches and watch people go by.

    Go to the tourist part of town and act like a tourist. Look at the sights, read the historical signs, take photos, etc.

    Drive around (you'll probably have to drive to get to the places mentioned above anyway), get out of the car to mail a letter, throw trash in a public trash container and pump gas into the car.

    Some of these things will not excite everyone, but I'm not comfortable going to clubs, bars, etc. and not comfortable talking to sales people in stores because of my voice.

    Best of luck.

  11. #11
    Member Michaela Jane's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2019
    Goldsboro, North Carolina
    Charlotte, it's nice to see a girl taller than my 6' 3". Most of my "going out" has been in stealth femme and only once have I been out anywhere in a skirt and wig. Then it was a park, plenty of people around and a park that had places to sit.

  12. #12
    Aspiring Member
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Pacific Northwest
    Good question. Where I live, shopping is futile. Entertainment and dining were sparse to begin with. What COVID did not wipe out, Amazon did. The only clothing store closer than 150 km is a Ross. The biggest clothing store in town is primarily a hardware store. The fashion police gave up and moved away. Travel is not an option. New spacious airports (like Boise and others) are sprouting like weeds but they all look totally vacant all the time, even before COVID. The daily riots and aggressive vagrants make the big cities, Seattle and Portland, too dangerous even for non cross dressers. The border to Canada is closed.

    What do people do here, a long distance from anywhere? Outdoor activities of all kinds. But everyone regardless of gender looks the same when dressing for the outdoors. Buttons on the other side of a shirt is as gender varying as it gets. All dressed up and no place to go is the order of the day.
    Last edited by abby054; 04-22-2021 at 08:47 AM.

  13. #13
    Girliegirl Jillian Faith's Avatar
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    May 2010
    Well the broken ankle certainly puts a damper on dressing and going out, but I'm with Karren when in doubt I go shopping!

  14. #14
    Banned Read only
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    May I ask what is the risk with the car , is it because it could be recognised or because driving is difficult with your injury ?

    I would still suggest you take a drive rather than walking too far with your ankle situation , I wouldn't want to risk a further fall and then find it's made worse because you are dressed as Charlotte .

    As for me I don't have to think about where to go for something special because it's just normal to be out as Teresa everyday . When the next stage of lockdown eases I will be going to view stately homes and gardens and just enjoying feeling that little bit freer .
    Last edited by Teresa; 04-22-2021 at 09:34 AM.

  15. #15
    Senior Member BrendaPDX's Avatar
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    May 2016
    Portland, Oregon
    Walmart, there is always someone way more over the top than you

  16. #16
    Administrator Di's Avatar
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    Feb 2005
    SouthEastern Ontario
    I normally would say go shopping or window shopping.
    But since you have the ankle problem right now I agree with Teresa go for a drive, maybe stop and get a coffee (drive though) go to a nice park and enjoy the day.
    I think do not add extra stress on yourself with the temp ankle problem. You want the first time to be stress free.
    Also please stop the negative thoughts of being too tall just own it.
    Think positive and visualize call yourself being confident.....then act Confident till you are confident.

    Think of something you would like and feel comfortable with. After you get it under your belt a few times you can just go anywhere.
    Last edited by Di; 04-22-2021 at 01:29 PM.
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  17. #17
    Member CharlotteCD's Avatar
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    Oct 2009
    Quote Originally Posted by Teresa View Post
    May I ask what is the risk with the car , is it because it could be recognised or because driving is difficult with your injury ?
    The risk is that it's a classic car, and it's pretty recognisable. My parents have lived in the same location for 30+ years, and both they and their house are well known as "the classic car house".

    Whilst some may mistake me for my Mum, the concern is still that it either breaks down, I am spotted and read by a family friend, have an accident because of my nerves, or get pulled in by the police.

    I've been pulled over once in 14 years, and totally deserved it, so the likelihood is very low, but the fear is very real.

  18. #18
    Super Moderator char GG's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
    Hi Charlotte,

    I agree with Di. Try to keep your head held high and embrace your height. I think tall women look stunning. Most women models are very tall. It makes me wish I were taller.

    Your unique car situation presents a problem. If you don't want to drive around CDed in your parents car, maybe you can take your women's clothes with you to a mall or someplace where there is a single stall restroom and change. Walk around the mall, eat at a food court, browse a bookstore if there is one, then change back before you drive the car home. By the time you spend a few hours on your ankle, you may be ready to get off of your feet. You probably don't want to worry about the car, be noticed, or be distracted while driving so don't make yourself uncomfortable.

    BTW, your newest photograph in the pink dress is beautiful. That would be a great mall dress.

    Enjoy your time out whatever you choose to do.

  19. #19
    Exploring NEPA now Cheryl T's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    I'm with Karren.
    Shopping is my go to Go To. As for being tall, just remember, there are tall women in the world. You won't be the tallest ever by along shot. Yes, people will look, but they would look if you were 4'5" as well. If you present yourself with confidence you'll be fine. Own it where ever you go.
    I don't wear women's clothes, I wear MY clothes !

  20. #20
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Western Washington
    I have always made decisions using "risks v rewards." You're tall. I am six foot bare footed. Add heels and both of us are way taller than the average woman. If your potential adventure is going to run from 6 PM to 8 AM there really is not too much time to go to a mall. Sometimes the anticipation exceeds the actual event. I have no desire to go to a mall. It is outside my comfort zone. There are many ladies advising to not go for a stroll. Going for a walk is within my comfort zone. My favorite neighbor is totally residential with tree lined streets with little traffic. There are two 24 hour grocery stores. I use the ruse of coming home from the store by carrying a tote which usually contains a change of male clothing in the event I need them (car break down). I end up maybe walking for a half hour which gets all that pent up demand satisfied. Then it becomes, "OK, I've done that. Now what?"

    Having the use of a recognizable classic car complicates the adventure. I drive a run of the mill Toyota Corolla. Totally boring car. If you're going out during daylight the complication is getting to the car and out of the neighborhood. That can be done not wearing a wig. Of course, if it a rather unique classic car you may attract unwanted attention no matter where you go. Tough choice.

  21. #21
    Silver Member Aunt Kelly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2016
    Greater Houston
    You hit the nail on the head. There's going out and then there's just slinking around where nobody will notice. Go do something you enjoy, e.g. shopping, dining, concert, whatever. Yes, social distancing somewhat limits the options, but you can do it.
    "Being honest may not get you a lot of friends, but it will always get you the right ones."
    -- John Lennon

  22. #22
    Sallee Sallee's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    San Diego
    I would like to say I go where ever but that wouldn't be totally true However I do go to the mall for sure, shopping and shopping. I have been to drag shows always fun, even done the grocery store and lots of walks in the park. You can pretty much go where ever you want just remember dress for the occasion. Slacks and flats are a good choice for anywhere. To drag shows do it up you'll get read no matter what. Most folks are to wrapped up in their own life to even notice you if they do it is just a passing glance as they move on. After you have been a few places you won't have any problems

  23. #23
    Aspiring Member StephanieCLT's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2014
    For me, since I usually dress when I'm on the road for work, it's after work and out for the night. Since I'm always by myself, it's dinner, and if there's time, I'll try to squeeze in some shopping, even window shopping, if I can. There's something different (and awesome) shopping for women's clothes en femme. Whatever you do, have fun doing it. Take time to breathe and smile every once and a while!
    Letting the girl in me out.
    More pictures here:

  24. #24
    Gold Member Alice Torn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Midwest U.S.
    I m six six, and did go out several times a year for a while, to outdoor classical concerts, to a few stores, and walking, but never talked much with anyone. I never could find size 16 flats, so wore 4"' or 2 1/2" heels. Was made fun of my some teens.

  25. #25
    Platinum Blonde member Ressie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Went out with a few CD friends during the last 6 weeks. There's a kind of new Hamburger Mary's in the area so that was our first outing. A couple weeks later we went to a restaurant/bar kind of upscale place. No problems at either venue other than the covid restrictions on seating/spacing.
    "You're the only one to see the changes you take yourself through", Stevie Wonder

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