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Thread: Biggest Challenge

  1. #26
    Senior Member GretchenM's Avatar
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    Good question, Di.

    Like others, in my virtually 76 years I have to say the biggest challenge has been self acceptance. I had no problem with that until I got caught playing with my mother's clothes and makeup when I was about 8. As a result of the reprimand (this was the first half of the 1950's) I not only went into the closet but into denial. Sixty years of it! That stance had a huge effect on my life's course. But once I surrendered and accepted that I was right in the first place true acceptance by others has been the challenge.

    Tolerance is fairly easy to come by, but accepting me as being a type of transgender person is really hard for some. So many people, especially those more or less my age and older who just can't get to the point where they truly recognize that such an identity can exist. They are still locked into a gender binary concept and have a hard time accepting that this concept might be in error and in fact there can be people who naturally have a goodly amount of the "opposite" gender traits and characteristics that influence their behavior and sense of self in ways that don't fit the ideology. It is not really opposite in the way all of this works in the brain, but in terms of the gender binary concept it is easy to think of opposites. It appears there are just traits and characteristics and how they are blended in each person is unique to them. I think the old thinking is changing, but thousands of years of thinking that way will take a very long time to shift.

  2. #27
    Rural T Girl Teri Ray's Avatar
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    I agree with others that the biggest issue I personally have with my desire to crossdress was gaining self acceptance. Lots of personal loathing and reflection on my behavior caused me to believe there was something significantly wrong with me. This forum and other internet information helped me get through it and only time and personal reflection caused me to accept that my desire was never going to change and it did not make me a bad person. And likely the biggest and most significant event in my life was the "big talk" with my wife and her ability to still love and accept me. Life became so much better having no longer to hide my desire from my wife.
    Teri Ray Rural Idaho Girl.

  3. #28
    Aspiring Member josie_S's Avatar
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    Here to echo most of the replies and say that it's been self acceptance for sure. so many purges and even bouts with depression but like Teri coming here and other websites as well as lots of reflection and therapy have helped me move toward acceptance and so I stopped purging and that alone feels like a huge feat

  4. #29
    Platinum Member
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    Challenges come and need to be resolved. Life is a long journey. At 73 there have been numerous personal challenges.

    As a teenager it was a trying to understand why I wore my mother's clothing on occasion. At the time society told me I was a homosexual although the terminology was brutal and vulgar. I was very confused. Lusting after beautiful starlets and neighborhood girls...gay? I got past that hurdle with self analysis. It took a long time, but, I am comfortable with myself. Yep, self acceptance.

    As a husband with a developing cross dressing issue it was challenging for my wife and myself to develop and understanding and come to some agreement...Enter DADT. Fortunately, although my wife is not onboard with my cross dressing she does not say anything negative towards me or other men she encounters.

    Another challenge, as stated several times on the forum, was my combat tour in Viet Nam. Trying to get past watching too many people kill and get killed has been a hurdle. I mention it only because cross dressing has been a source of comfort....escaping from the reality of being a male in the most adverse situation imaginable. Of course, now with women attached or in the combat arms in Iraq and Afghanistan...welcome to the club.

    Some of these challenges are never 100% resolved.

  5. #30
    Non-Binary Member Krea's Avatar
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    Yes, the biggest challenge for me concerns acceptance: The fear of abusiveness, rejection, isolation by relatives, in-laws etc.
    Knowing what i do of their general opinions, coming-out would surely be a disaster, so i keep my true-self hidden from them.

  6. #31
    Member XemmaX's Avatar
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    I guess dealing with shame that still comes back every so often. Which sucks.

  7. #32
    Exploring NEPA now Cheryl T's Avatar
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    It used to be self-acceptance and all the guilt I carried for so many years.
    After coming out to the wife and finding her fully accepting (after some time, tears and trials) I've been able to unburden myself and begin to love being me.

    So, small as it may seem, right now my biggest challenge is eye makeup. My hand isn't that steady and I'm never satisfied with my outcome.
    I don't wear women's clothes, I wear MY clothes !

  8. #33
    Platinum Member
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    Cheryl and I have known each other...here...for a while. Where she succeeded and I failed is in building a relationship that could accomodate the person that she and I really are. Frankly, I admire what Cheryl and others have acheived in their relationsips and regret I could not do the same.
    Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.

    Eleanor Roosevelt

  9. #34
    Silver Member prene's Avatar
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    Initially it was self-acceptance.
    then with therapy I feel better about me

    Now it is acceptance with GG's I hope to date. Have not found a gg who is accepting.
    Now besides gg, my biggest challenge it making my voice higher LOL

  10. #35
    Aspiring Shopaholic BTWimRobin's Avatar
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    I'm not sure if this is a challenge or not and it may even need it's own thread. This whole lifestyle (for lack of better terms), seems to consume me. It's always on the forefront of my mind and I am constantly thinking of new things I could try. I sometimes feel/fear I am falling too deep in the rabbit hole.
    - Robin


    Because life is too short not to.

    It's ironic ... I finally found a group of guys I fit in with. Funny how they all enjoy being one of the girls.

    Wife: Why do you fold your panties? Me: I don't like my panties in a wad!

  11. #36
    Member Christina89's Avatar
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    My biggest challenge at first was accepting myself. But now it's just finding people in my life circle who I feel comfortable with coming out to about being a crossdresser.

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