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Thread: Biggest Challenge

  1. #1
    Administrator Di's Avatar
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    Biggest Challenge

    Reading an article it stated
    The Cross-Dressers biggest Challenge is Acceptance. Be it loved ones, work ect.
    I am hopeful that is changing
    My question is regarding crossdressing what do you find as your biggest challenge?
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    You forever and always will be my one and only true love . ❤️

  2. #2
    Platinum Member kimdl93's Avatar
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    My biggest challenge has always been self acceptance. That applies not only to crossdressing, but to most aspects of life. Kinda the “I’d never join a club that would have me as a member” syndrome.

  3. #3
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    Di,
    Believing you can do it and keep doing it , that was my biggest challenge going full time . Dressing to the nines for a few hours is one thing but it's a different matter from the moment you wake till the moment you slip back to bed at night and you've done every thing in femme mode .

  4. #4
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    I've had no problems with anyone I've told I was a crossdresser. A couple people in my family, my dad included, do not think it is right for a man to be wearing women's clothes, period. There are a few girls at my work, whom after I decided they were nice and would most likely be understanding, told them I was a crossdresser. They've all been supportive and do not look down on me.
    As far as going out dressed up en femme, I am not quite ready for that, because I know most people will not accept it. However.... I did just recently come out for the first time, although I am not sure if this counts. I went to Scarborough Renaissance Festival and dressed up like a fair maiden. I did this because I knew that there were lots of men who dressed up as women at places like these, so I knew this was my opportunity to shine. I went with it, had fun, and not a single person judged me or even looked at me funny. Hopefully in the future I will be accepted when I go out in public in real clothes and not just a costume.

  5. #5
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    Self acceptance at this point.
    It?s an odd feeling that feels like I?m not fully in control of myself.
    I mean I got woken up at 3am with such strong urges that I ordered a pack of women?s underwear there and then.
    And now I wonder why I did it.

  6. #6
    Senior Member Tracy Irving's Avatar
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    When it comes to crossdressing, I am always challenged when searching for a dress that fits me perfectly. So, I look for skirt and blouse options but have very little coordination ability.

    If I end up doing more than crossdressing, don't even get me started on makeup!

    Weight loss is also becoming more challenging as I age.

  7. #7
    Gold Member Lana Mae's Avatar
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    As a crossdresser, Self acceptance! Can I be the woman I want to be! A transformation proved that I could and here I am a trans woman! WOW! Who would have thought? LOL Hugs Lana Mae
    Life is worth living!
    "Foxy lady! You look so good!!" Jimi Hendrix

  8. #8
    Lady By Choice Leslie Langford's Avatar
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    Finding acceptance from a wife or an S/O.

    I recently did some re-cluttering and came across a collection of old newspaper clippings that I had saved over the years of "Ann Landers" and "Dear Abby" columns dating back to the early 1990's that had dealt specifically with crossdressing. Yes, the writers were generally defending their "hobby" there and were seeking to educate both the columnists and the general public about it, but the overall theme invariably was sadness over their wives' non-acceptance and society's overall disdain for them.

    To some extent we've made some progress in this area, but overall it's still the "same old, same old".

  9. #9
    Member Lori Ann Westlake's Avatar
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    Self-acceptance was my biggest challenge also. To be fair, unlike some others, I don't have a strong urge to go out and mix socially, otherwise I might have other challenges to face! Still, in my earliest days of crossdressing I felt a lot of shame and embarrassment, despite being alone. I can't put this down to anything specific I was "taught" by society--that it's "wrong" for men to do this, that I'd be seen as "gay," or whatever. I can't say I was "taught" anything at all. It was just the simple knowledge that if anyone saw me doing it they'd think I was "weird," "crazy" or whatever, and I'd be ridiculed. I do believe acceptance by my wife later on helped to further self-acceptance. for which I'm naturally grateful.
    Last edited by Lori Ann Westlake; 04-22-2021 at 07:03 PM.

  10. #10
    Gold Member Crissy 107's Avatar
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    Reading over the responses here I have to agree that self acceptance was the biggest hurdle for me in the beginning. It certainly took a long time and then after I got past that was to come out to my wife. That went well in the beginning but sort of went backwards after a while. I have to say that has been my biggest challenge for the past 7.5 years.
    Last edited by Crissy 107; 04-22-2021 at 07:35 PM.
    Crissy

  11. #11
    Struggler with CDing Pixie_94's Avatar
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    Self-acceptance, at least if I followed what I have been told of embracing it as a part of who I am, but if you ask me the same question in other circumstances, I'd say either that I don't know much of what can be good quality and what is better not to purchase.

  12. #12
    Junior Member Jacke's Avatar
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    To echo others, mine is self acceptance. I am a latecomer and am still learning. I am fortunate that my wife accepts, though does not understand. She is not a barrier to me. But I am. Even with her acceptance, I am still hesitant. That and my Covid beard will need to go in order to practice makeup.

  13. #13
    Aspiring Shopaholic BTWimRobin's Avatar
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    Self acceptance was the first hurdle. The next mountain was my wife to accept this part of me. Two years after coming out to her I'm not sure where she stands or whether she even cares.

    Di, do have a link to the article?
    - Robin


    Because life is too short not to.

  14. #14
    Banned Read only Cass42's Avatar
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    Self acceptance and realizing I wasn't like any normal boy growing up liking to wear female clothing at times and later fulltime in my life.

  15. #15
    Miss Judy Judy-Somthing's Avatar
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    I would say My biggest challenge is not to ruin my marriage!
    "This is ME" I am not CRAZY, I'm just a GUY who likes dresses!
    Since allot of men dress up in woman's clothing that makes it a manly thing to do!
    Much more fun than fishing.
    I do construction like house building and I love CD-ing, what's the difference?

  16. #16
    Miss Conception Karren Hutton's Avatar
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    Right now, it's having my wife turn off the TV or change the channel when ever there is anything at all to do with crossdressing.... Like tonight, 1/3 of the way through a Midsomer Murder episode (season 1, episode 2) and you can tell the guy that got murdered was a corssdresser... click.... sigh....
    I reject your reality and substitute my own!:

  17. #17
    Administrator Di's Avatar
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    I appreciate very much everyone taking the time to answer.
    If you are a Genetic Female (Female at Birth) and would like to join us in the F.A.B. Forum, please follow the link.

    F.A.B. Forum Access

    Sherlyn,My beautiful sweet girl
    You forever and always will be my one and only true love . ❤️

  18. #18
    Princess Candice candykowal's Avatar
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    Presenting as a feminine person while living 24/7/365 in fem has to be the toughest thing I had to do in controlling the masculine side, in my younger days.
    Being made up cosmetic wise, more often, whenever I walked out the door.
    It was not an option for me, back in the day, to look like a guy with breasts, I felt I had to be totally female.
    I had a hard time doing things at the spur of the moment...I needed 10 minutes to check myself, change my outfit for the moment, perfume up, or make sure I take a purse with makeup and a razor.
    Today is a bit different as I know what it takes and have only to dress to reminisce, in a 5 hour or less span.
    Shopping, GNO's with friends, or just lounging at home.
    Like Judy, trying not to ruin my marriage as "Husband First" is front and center.
    Candice Coleen Kowal ....all my friends call me Candy!

  19. #19
    Member SirDonna's Avatar
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    Hard question to answer as more "biggest challenges".

    Self-acceptance is the top, but followed closely by anxiety when discussing CD needs and then makeup, which is still a hurdle.

  20. #20
    Platinum Member Shelly Preston's Avatar
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    Di,
    That is a great question.

    I think the answer changes over time.

    I remember finding time to dress was the biggest challenge.

    Then it was stepping out the door.

    Telling family and so it continues until you find yourself in a happy position.

    Self acceptance has always been the biggest, as it affects individuals at every stage of their journey no matter the destination.
    Shelly

    Super Moderator....How to tell your partner......Abbreviations

  21. #21
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    Di,
    I find my biggest challenge is letting go of the guilt. Not the guilt of being a cross dresser but the guilt of what I put my wife through.
    She tells me she is OK with my dressing, she seems to be OK with my dressing but I still think about the damage I am doing such as limiting her friends, her ability to see family just every days things.
    I get the impression from my wife that this perceived embarrassment for her is strictly my problem and she does not feel this way. Just another cross to bear on the journey.

  22. #22
    Senior Member Maid_Marion's Avatar
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    My biggest challenge was accepting help.

    Perhaps my biggest "tell" was that women graciously accept help and men decline.
    If I'm going to present female I need to expect that people expect me to go first while they wait.
    I need to be aware of my surroundings and do my part to make basic courtesies go smoothly.

    Marion

  23. #23
    Aspiring Member SaraLin's Avatar
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    My biggest challenge is <drum roll, please> BALANCE

    as in balancing my inner needs/desires against the outer realities of my life.

    If I could, I'd throw my "him" out, live every day fully in my "her" but my body, my wife, my friends, my *everything* all serve to pull me back towards "him".
    It's a balancing act to stay in the middle - where I don't fall on the rocks to either side.

  24. #24
    Senior Member Karen RHT's Avatar
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    My biggest challenge these days is maintaining my patience while waiting for my wife to hopefully understand the world won't think the worst of her if I join a support group or visit other towns while presenting as Karen. She's fine with me wearing anything I please around the house, but just can't seem to take that next step.


    Karen

  25. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by RainbowDash View Post
    As far as going out dressed up en femme, I am not quite ready for that, because I know most people will not accept it. However.... I did just recently come out for the first time, although I am not sure if this counts. I went to Scarborough Renaissance Festival and dressed up like a fair maiden. I did this because I knew that there were lots of men who dressed up as women at places like these, so I knew this was my opportunity to shine. I went with it, had fun, and not a single person judged me or even looked at me funny. Hopefully in the future I will be accepted when I go out in public in real clothes and not just a costume.
    I did the same thing, only at the one in Houston. Went right before Halloween dressed as a witch. Had a great time. Although my wife wasn't pleased that I choose that outfit for the trip there. I should have changed once I got there instead of driving hours like that, although it's deeper than that.

    I've been trying to wear more women's clothes as I work with few to no one around. Getting used to wearing a bra for the day. I wish I could just wear whatever I wanted when I wanted.

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