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Thread: Where do you find encouragement?

  1. #1
    Senior Member Geena75's Avatar
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    Mar 2013

    Where do you find encouragement?

    Thinking mainly of very part time crossdressers in this.

    I'm presently in a very restrictive situation, like quite a few others have experienced, and have been primarily been dressing vicariously through others' posts or by writing. I've noted that I find encouragement in this 'peculiar pastime' from certain sources.

    Of all things, I like F1nnst3r on twitch or youtube, primarily because he dresses because he finds it 'fun,' at least he says so. Plus, Rose is cute as all get out.
    Another is Heidi Phox's page, particularly her perspectives. She makes it sound more reasonable and lessens the 'odd' feeling.
    And, of course, this site.

    Where do some of you find encouragement?

  2. #2
    Miss Conception Karren Hutton's Avatar
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    Aug 2005
    South Western PA
    I encourage myself primarily. But I do like both your choices to watch once in a while. I would swear that F1nnst3r is in it just for the money!! And I love to visit Yoya Fabulosa and Juliette Noir.

    And I love Pittsburghs own Amy Vodkahaus. Has a local transformation studio.
    Last edited by Karren Hutton; 05-01-2021 at 01:19 AM.

  3. #3
    Aspiring Member jacques's Avatar
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    Sep 2008
    East Yorkshire UK
    hello Geena,
    I started dressing when I was very young. For decades I thought I was the only cross dresser in the world (and did not know it was called "cross dressing"). I fell lucky to have found this group. It must be so much easier for young cross dressers these days - there is this group, there are tutorials on the web, there are beautiful dressers who post blogs and pictures, and there are crossdressers (not just "female impersonators") who are very public (such as Grayson Perry, Eddie Izzard and Rufus Wainwright). That is truly marvelous!
    stay healthy,
    luv J

  4. #4
    Enby Member Krea's Avatar
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    Feb 2017
    Kent, England, UK
    I'm not inspired by "high-profile" people, as the experiences of the rich and famous have little relevance to the lives that most of us live.
    My inspiration is primarily what i find right here on this site.
    Several members in particular, plus one past member, have truly inspired me and gently challenged my mindset (in one case not so gently ) to the extent that i have made progress that would have seemed impossible when i joined this community four years ago.
    I have never yet met any of you in person, altho i hope to, but i greatly enjoyed talking with some of you during the zoom chats earlier this year. Hearing and reading the experiences of each of you has really encouraged me. Thank-you.
    Last edited by Krea; 05-02-2021 at 01:26 PM. Reason: clarification

  5. #5
    Banned Read only
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Having lived through that situation and the associated guilt and shame , I found most of my strength came from the forum , which then extended to joining a social group . Just talking and meeting others makes it gradually more acceptable , knowing I'm not the only one with feeling this way .

    Now I've been fulltime for over three years I hope I can pass on and encourage others to consider their options and make the right choices because I know how cruel and devestating it can be at times .

    I'm not sure how helpful the people on social media sites are because some are sponsored and some live more of a celebrity lifestyle , consider would you like to be in the limelight like some of those and how happy would your wife and family be ?

  6. #6
    Weirdest woman ever! docrobbysherry's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Orange County, Calif.
    I receive my inspiration from all my dresser friends I've met in person over the years and still see at T events near and far.

    As far as Sherry's looks? I've developed my transformation techniques over my many years of dressing. And, I still learn new tricks from girls here and elsewhere. But, I have NO interest in completing with online T personalities. I only compete against myself!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  7. #7
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Western Washington
    There is a lot of value in this forum. Until I stumbled upon this site, although I knew I was not alone in this world, there was no outlet to express myself. I think the only scripted presentations out there for some time was something like the "The Jerry Springer Show." It was either "try to guess if the person was female or male" or some stupidity of confronting your girlfriend to find out she was actually a he and all hell would break out.

    With the advent of the internet I do peruse Youtube or stand alone tasteful websites that depict cross dressers and have some valid narratives. There are some ladies on this forum who have links to such sites. I do have like Heidi Phox's and Monika's sites. I do enjoy reading blogs of girls going about daily business/adventures en femme. I do on occasion go to "Google" and input word combinations, e.g., "Crossdressing Brides." I do have to admire how attractive those ladies are. It sort of reminds me of "what could have been." When my awakening occurred in the 1960's I had a very negative view point of what I was. Children of the 1950's and 1960's took a mental beating being different.

    I don't know at my age if I would use the term "encouragement" anymore. It is more an issue of finding I am not alone.

  8. #8
    Aspiring Member April Rose's Avatar
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    Oct 2017
    I like Natalie Wynn's "Contrapoints" on you tube. Topical and witty.
    I am a vessel of the goddess. Let me express my calling to a feminine life through nurturing love and relatedness.

  9. #9
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    I have had two main sources of encouragement. This forum is my first, but my greatest help cane from the ladies who worked at my favorite dress shop. It is a shop that is a few levels above your run of the mill stores. For the extra money I pay, the quality is better but the real difference is in the knowledgeability of the sales staff. They taught me what looks good on my nonstandard body shape and why, how to mix and match, and the difference between fashion and real style. Thanks to them, who I now count as friends, my confidence is through the roof when I dress and go out in the world.

  10. #10
    Gold Member alwayshave's Avatar
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    Dec 2011
    Washington, DC
    I find it right here in this forum.
    Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".

  11. #11
    Exploring NEPA now Cheryl T's Avatar
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    Feb 2006
    I found my first inspiration and encouragement in some of the old magazines and papers that were around in the 70's and 80's before the Internet came to be.
    After that I found it here with all you lovely ladies.
    After coming out to my wife I found it after joining a support group and being able to interact with others face-to-face.
    Now I'm still here and I find that encouragement in the forums and also from my loving wife.
    I don't wear women's clothes, I wear MY clothes !

  12. #12
    Senior Member TheHiddenMe's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2016
    Metro East area near St. Louis, Missouri
    Multiple places.

    I was always ok with knowing I was a CD, so that wasn't an issue.

    Then a long time ago I met Renee. I kind out outed myself (broad hints) and she helped me dress for the first time. 35 years later she still supports me.

    The next was the internet, both blogs and this forum. I read about people going out and living to tell about it, and decided if they can, I can.

    Then I decided to get my nails done to go out dressed a couple of days. The nail tech Cailee was genuinely excited for me. The next day my Sephora MUA Julie taught me how to do makeup and Sales Angel Falon helped me find my favorite dress. I also met my friend Karla then and my friend Michelle about 6 months later. They and the team at Dangerfield in Melbourne give me tons of acceptance.

    Never thought that would happen, but they all bring me joy.

  13. #13
    Junior Member Teresa.Smith.VA's Avatar
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    May 2021
    Deleted by Teresa.
    Last edited by Teresa.Smith.VA; 07-14-2021 at 02:02 PM.

  14. #14
    Aspiring Shopaholic BTWimRobin's Avatar
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    Apr 2019
    I get my encouragement right here on the forum.
    - Robin

    Because life is too short not to.

  15. #15
    Senior Member mbmeen12's Avatar
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    Feb 2012
    I too use this site and Fet life for my wide side...
    Escapism isn't necessarily bad, but is definitely unhealthy in the long term. While helpful in the short term, things will degrade over time. At some point, the escapee will have to face the issue. Things simply blowing over isn't really going to happen in many situations.

  16. #16
    Senior Member Angela1954's Avatar
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    Feb 2015
    I find my encouragement on this site. Even though I identified as trans I still internalized some of the stereotypes. This site has shown me that, like the rest of the population, we come from all backgrounds and defy the boxes society places us in.

  17. #17
    Aspiring Member Georgina's Avatar
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    Sep 2005
    N. Ireland
    I am fortunate in that I don't need encouragement. I decided many years ago that I work in male clothes and after work female clothes. That means from finishing work until breakfast the next morning I wear only female clothes. Skirts and dresses only, with full underwear but no make up or wig. and a nighty in bed.

  18. #18
    Life is more fun in heels Genifer Teal's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Photos and the compliments they get give me encouragement. Each time I go out gives me more encouragement. It's easy to get hung up thinking I don't look good enough. Looking at photos reminds me I've got a lot of things going for me. Every time I talk to new people and have friendly conversation I'm encouraged to do more. Showing someone a few photos and hearing their compliments really helps. I guess photos provided more encouragement in the beginning but even now when I feel a slump or like during this covid-19 of being trapped indoors mostly it's easy to forget we still got it so to speak even after you add on the covid-19 lbs. Then I look at a photo and realize I still look okay.
    Last edited by Genifer Teal; 05-04-2021 at 11:02 AM.

  19. #19
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    S.E.Baltimore Co. Maryland USA
    Hi Geena , I don't have to find it , It finds me, >Orchid**OO**
    Having my ears triple pierced is AWESOME, ~~......

    I can explain it to you, But I can't comprehend it for you !

    If at first you don't succeed, Then Skydiving isn't for you.

    Be careful what you wish for, Once you ring a bell , you just can't Un-Ring it !! !!

  20. #20
    Struggler with CDing Pixie_94's Avatar
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    Aug 2017
    Costa Rica
    Actually nowhere. What I rather find is discouragement everywhere.

  21. #21
    content cindychan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Somewhere very rainy and grassy.
    I'm not a big fan of wasting time so I figure that I might as well dress up while I can and enjoy it. Knowing that my life is finite encourages me to do things that make me feel happy which includes crossdressing
    Bored? Try wearing a pretty dress. It's fun.

  22. #22
    Member FrannGurl's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2016
    I get my encouragement from a few female friends of mine which I came out to over the years and I feel really thankful for it, as well as my older daughter who encourages me. "Be you" she will say to me now and then. I also get my encouragement here, by reading everyones posts, even if I don't post too often myself.

  23. #23
    Miss Judy Judy-Somthing's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2015
    Here and only here!
    "This is ME" I am not CRAZY, I'm just a GUY who likes dresses!
    Since allot of men dress up in woman's clothing that makes it a manly thing to do!
    Much more fun than fishing.
    I do construction like house building and I love CD-ing, what's the difference?

  24. #24
    Junior Member Janet Devon's Avatar
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    Nov 2020
    Northern Indiana
    I find it important to point out that people find whatever they are looking for. If you look for encouragement, you will find it. If you look for discouragement you can find that too. I find a lot of encouragement on this site. I also find encouragement in my pictures. Even doctored pictures can and do offer some. They show me that if I would have accepted myself 30 years ago. I would have made a lovely young lady. So even though I look ok today, I would have been even better then. Somehow I like that.

    It helps to know so many other normal people have the same drives that I seem to have without being all around weird.

  25. #25
    Silver Member Maria 60's Avatar
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    Sep 2010
    When I came here and felt as I was talking to people in the same boat but rowing in different directions but at the base we all had the same foundation. This site completed me, made me more confident and felt I was getting answers not from a doctor but people with real life experiences.
    I will never forget when I had just joined here and maybe a month into it and it felt so good to be able relate to people with the same problems.
    My confidence was so high that I was driving and there was a road block ahead and I was wearing a skirt and pantyhose and usally I would have freaked out. When I reached the road block a male and female police approached my car and when they looked down and seen my skirt they made a small reaction, I had so much confidence that I looked them both in the eyes and told them " I'm a crossdresser is this going to be a problem". They looked at each and said no they didn't see a problem and told me the road ahead was closed and witch wat to devert.
    That was what this site did, that was the first time anyone else besides my wife seen me like that and I owned it with confidence.
    Well I guess you know where my heart is.

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