A Man's Touch

[Sometimes Steffi]

I'd much rather dress up and be found attractive by a lesbian!

Finally something that I can agree with. After our first appointment, one of my GG therapists told me, "You're gay, but don't worry, it's OK to be gay." I thought that she was wrong, but I decided to put it t the test. Since I was working out 3 days a week, I decided to look around in the locker room to see if I was attracted to anyone. Well, not only was I not attracted to anyone, I was totally repelled i I happened yo get a view of their junk.

So much for the knowledge and professionalism of that therapist.

On the other side, I was out with a group of TG girls at a restaurant in my best girl mode. I started flirting with the GG waitress. We got to talking, and she told me that she was Bi. I half jokingly told her that I could be her best friend. I could be a girl when she felt like she wanted a girl and a boy when she felt like she wanted a boy. I also told her about the Keystone Gala dance in two days and I gave her my "girl card" with a picture of me and my (girl) email address. She said, "How do I contact you?" I gave her my phone number, never expecting anything to come of it. The next day she called me to make arrangements to meet me at the dance. I advised her to wear an evening gown, to not be shown up by the TGs there. We met, and she was all prettied up, and it was a very pleasant evening talking, and a few dances. It didn't turn into anything sexual, which was good. I didn't want to be put in a position to test my marital vows. After the dance, a few of my TG friends asked me who I was with all night. I told them, "I guess she was my date." They were flabbergasted.

[Star01]

Further weirdness since someone mentioned the word lesbian. I am not turned on by hairy macho men but lesbian fantasies with another fully shave crossdresser are alive and well. They have to be smooth like me and dressed fully with wig/long hair and makeup to catch my attention. Go figure.

[CharlotteCD]

The weirdness for me doesn't stop there Star.


For instance, I couldn't be less turned on by the male body. It's simply not attractive to me - I like boobs, bum and hips. I like soft, not hard. Smooth not hairy. That doesn't change when I dress like some people seem to suggest - I am Charlotte 100% of the time, I just present as my male mode. Given that I am non-active transgender, I would therefore identify as a lesbian.

However...

Although I wouldn't want to be with a man in any kind of romantic relationship, or cuddle etc, the thought of un-romantic, purely "mechanical" sex with what society describes as "conventionally attractive" is appealing to me in a hanging out with a mate then saying "Why don't we have sex? Sure, why not?" just like you'd say "shall we play video games for a bit"?

So for me I like the act of sex, not the physical being it's with. Plus, I don't feel any inhibitions as to who it's with - end of the day, sex is sex for me.

I used to think I was bisexual for having these urges/desires of sex with men, but i've come to the conclusion i'm not because it goes no further than the act - It's what happens for the rest of the days, weeks, months and years of your life that defines if you're gay/straight/bi etc.

[rosie09]

Touching with another CD would be great for me.

[DianeT]

The idea that there are straight crossdressers who aren?t gay or at least a bit bi curious is still hard for me to comprehend. I can?t imagine wearing dresses and lingerie and not ever entertaining the thought.

I think you are projecting here. We are obviously a multitude and not one like another. The way I see (and enjoy) crossdressing is an attraction to femininity, not to being female as the yin of a male yang. I am not looking for a partner, whether male of female when dressing. I am just living my own experience, and it isn't a June Cleaver style one.

As for males (hairy or not) being disgusting, I wouldn't say that. And GGs sure think otherwise. And some non-GG members here too.

[Allieboy]

I want to thank everyone for their candor. In my case, i cannot see myself with a man other than in one type of situation. I would have to be in my sexiest lingerie and I would only want to be appreciated for providing him with pleasure. No cuddling no relationship

[Alexis00]

The guys I’ve connected with were friends or friends of friends. Neither relationship went at all as expected.

[dalearden]

As I get older and the testosterone drops, I find myself daydreaming more and more about being fully female. My circumstances prohibit that from ever becoming my reality, sadly. Still, the desire to be curled up next to "my guy" watching a movie or whatever makes me feel almost deprived.

I could written that first paragraph! I am so glad I found this website, cheers to you for the courage to post!

[Jodie_Lynn]

Two things:

1 - Different folks, different strokes.

2 - Don't knock it, until you've tried it!

People are not cookie cutter copies of one another. I know women ( cis- and trans- ) that LOVE hairy men. I also know women who cannot stand it if their guy has too much body hair. There are also men who adore hirsute ladies, and men who want their woman as hairless as possible.

There are CD's, transwomen, and ciswomen who love men, love women, love both. And who cares, as long as no one is harmed. If your thing is to dress lady like and get compliments from guys ( and nothing else! ) then good for you. If you want more, then good for you, too! Unless you are married and your spouse is unaware, in which case, you are a slime mold. Cheaters are cheaters, and doesn't matter WHAT you are wearing!

So why don't we stop classifying and sub-categorizing each other? YOU do YOU, and allow others to do the same.

[Allieboy]

Well said. We should all strive to be whomever we wish as long as your actions don?t harm others - particularly your loved ones

[Christie Camelle]

I could written that first paragraph! I am so glad I found this website, cheers to you for the courage to post!

We're glad you found it, too! We feel what we feel, right? *hugs*

[dalearden]

As I get older and the testosterone drops, I find myself daydreaming more and more about being fully female. My circumstances prohibit that from ever becoming my reality, sadly. Still, the desire to be curled up next to "my guy" watching a movie or whatever makes me feel almost deprived.

I think I understand and appreciate you posting this. I was just daydreaming today about being the "inside" of the spoon for once and how nice it must feel to have a strong man curled up around me.

[cindylouho]

Threads like this remind me of why I'm delighted to have found this forum.

[Alice Torn]

i actually di meet 4 different men, years ago, but no penetration sex. It felt so amazing to model in a dress and heels in front of them!! But, i was also conflicted a lot, but the feelinf a woman gets being admired all dolled up was so great. It was like an escape from grim single male reality, into a dream state, becoming a lady for a while. But, it got out of control and controlled me, and dangerous, to everything else in my life, and i was out of control I was actually mainly just using these men for my own ego desires, and ignoring more important things, like any addiction. So, i had to stop , even though i did keep posting my photos on sies, and receiving positive male attention, and requests to meet, but from men far away from where i lived. The male side of me has a problem, too, as under all the lady things, is a male. I still get pink fog strongly,, but have had to say no to iit, as my life is unmanageable enough without the complications and more complexities meeting men brings. I have to say no more, and get life balanced and healthy in my old age, and face reality.

[Nadia Wren]

My best friend passed away 10 years ago.

When we were in High School, we would kiss in public just to be defiant. There was a couple times that we had what could be considered homoerotic moments, without any touching.

As i get older, I find myself fantasizing about him when I'd like 'A Man's Touch.'

I had a stash when he was alive. My stash has since grown in the years since he passed. There is a lot brought up about getting caught on this site. If there was one person to out me, I wish it was him.

If hind-sight is 20/20, I'd welcome his touch. His widow is the only other person I told about my dressing, aside from my SO. The fantasy's of him have only recently surfaced.

I guess it's good because it is a fantasy and not a regret.

[CrossKimmy]

I've always been a little bi-curious but have never really acted on it. But as I've slid into my 30's, I'm finding myself fantasizing more about being with a man -- mostly on dates and being treated as a lady, but I won't deny I've thought about the other stuff too. Like others, I also find most men disgusting as well, but I can certainly tell the handsome ones apart from the others. I hope this doesn't offend anybody, but I find beards absolutely disgusting along with lot of body hair, so if I was ever involved with a guy he would have to be very well groomed for sure. But on the other hand, I don't know about living with a guy either...

This pretty much explains where I am at currently in my journey. I?ve noticed I?ve blossomed and evolved sexually from straight to Bi but definitely find certain male physiques very hot but mostly in girl mode.

The more I go down this path I find myself lusting for male touch and voice. There is something warm about it for me that fits. I definitely love to be told what to do by a man in the bedroom. I?ve even think about their parts from time to time especially when in girl mode. I?m not sure if it?s the dressing thats allowing me to feel these urges or not but they are intense emotions.

[oh to be rachel]

Never thought much about men sexually, but at a Halloween party where I went dressed as a woman several years ago, I was groped many times from various men. I was completely freaked at the time.

As I roll the events through my head now, I wonder if my reaction was a sign of my vulnerability. What would have happened if someone really pressed it. I don't know what might have happened.

On the other hand, it can suck to be a woman. Some men are total asses. Given me a whole new view of the me-too movement.

[DianeT]

I was always astonished that men could grope women (or men) they didn't know or were not intimate with. It is such a possession of the other human being, such a reduction of her/him to a thing at your disposal. I can't wrap my head around it. Even in private it's rare I grope my wife (I used to do it more when younger), I realized a few years ago that it wasn't an innocent thing to do and try now to tread more carefully. I never did it in public however, because she's not my thing. Groping is a "Man's touch" that most (probably every) women has experienced, especially when younger. Women don't usually talk about these things. But if a group of women starts talking, then you realize (and they sometimes realize too) that they all faced such situations one way or another. My wife revealed to me a few years ago that she was routinely groped in crowded subways, where pervs think they can't be busted easily. When she told me that, many, many years into our relationship, I felt very ignorant of what her life really had been, and wondered how many husbands didn't know either what their wives were going through.

[MissSixties]

Groping is wrong. Never done it in my life , however when i dress up in something nice and go to a gay club and a guy touches me i am not offended, morally wrong but i assume they think well why are you here?
On the subject i have been wanting this next level for a long time now, done the kisses and hugs a little play but want to go all the way, the plandemic slowed the time line up , lockdown and mask wearing is not conducive to doing a lot

[XemmaX]

i had a period of being into this whole exploring shit with men aspect but tbh i also got over it after a while, most were ok but usually ghosted afterwards out of shame i guess. some were kinda too forward and appeared to take the attitude that they could push through boundaries with out asking and this happened quite abit. like clubbing with dudes asking to touch my dress then going up my leg and me thinking yeah easy tiger. yeah also been groped loads. i think a fair few admirers like to do it because they think we are more tolerant than cisgendered women to this behaviour. so after a while i settled back into just being with women and i think thats where i will stay probably for now and definitely for relationships too.

[Jodie_Lynn]

Living as a woman, or going out as one, opens you to a whole new level of experience. You learn quickly, what it means to be vulnerable.

And groping is NEVER acceptable from strangers!

As secondary income, I have a part time job at a convenience store. The other night, while alone, a male customer came in. While I was making a new pot of coffee, this guy grabbed my butt and invited me to 'party' at his place. He was bigger, and stronger than me, so I humoured him and told him I'd love to take him up on his offer, another time.

As quickly as I could, I distanced myself by ducking behind the counter close to the panic button. I was acutely aware that a harsh rebuff of his advances, could lead to violence. I felt very alone, and vulnerable, hoping another customer would come in.

I would just like to inform people that if you venture out, presenting as a woman, that there are possible repercussions! It isn't all about dressing pretty. You might be a black belt in karate, but have you ever fought in heels & a skirt?

That was brought home to me on one of my early evenings our as a woman. I was at a club with friends, when I decided it was time to go home. A male friend offered to escort me to my car. As we walked the block to my vehicle, I told him I appreciated his gesture, but it was unnecessary, as I used to be a cop. He chuckled and asked me if I was a cop in a skirt & heels, looking sexy. I had to admit that he had a point.

Bottom line is, that as a transgender woman, I like the touch of a man.... It validates my femininity.

BUT, if you are a crossdresser, dressing for your own pleasure, you may find the attention of men to be uncomfortable. You have to examine the motives for doing what you do.

[FrannGurl]

Each and every one of us is different, but since my divorce about 10 years ago, I have been dating men and enjoy it very much. I had been with a few before that, but wasn't quite sure how I felt about it until after my divorce. I've even had two long term relationships since then with men that lasted several years. For me, it's not just the physical attraction to men, but the attention and the company. A man who is a gentleman, is kind, affectionate, has a good sense of humor, ect. are all things I find attractive about them. I will definitely say without a doubt though, that I find many of them to be complete jerks who I could do without, which is about the nicest way I can say it on this forum. I'm not a born female of course, but it gives you a good sense of how it must feel to them.

[docrobbysherry]

Jodie Lynn said this:

"BUT, if you are a crossdresser, dressing for your own pleasure, you may find the attention of men to be uncomfortable. You have to examine the motives for doing what you do"

Yes, I dress for own pleasure and am out a lot. And, I'm clear about my motives. When men r pleasant and flatter me, I enjoy it and tell them so. But, if they hang around I quickly and with no uncertainty explain I'm NOT into men! That generally discourages them. It is NOT my fault if they don't understand "No!"

U simply have to be honest and open with the men u meet and not play games with them. That's exactly what I want from the women I'm attracted to as a man!

[Just Dana]

To start: I'm bi; I like women, too! That said, I have very little experience with men and find a far smaller proportion (of men, than women) attractive. But, I would love, love, love to go on a real date with a funny, smart, attractive man who was into me.

Over the years, my interest in men has evolved from something along the lines of Charlotte's take to Christie Camelle's opening comment. I'd take a wild guess that changing hormone levels did have something to do with that!

Dana

[Helen_Highwater]

Three to four years ago I met up with another from the forum in the Gay village in Manchester. later in the evening we ended up in a quiet little pub intent on chatting, sharing experiences, that sort of thing. We were sat at a large table and a decent looking guy, who turned out to be gay, sat just down from us and after a few minutes asked if he could buy us both a drink. Although we declined his offer the three of us got chatting, just general stuff until it came to closing time.

Coats were put on, skirts straightened, hair flicked, and then it came that moment to say our goodbyes. Now this is were it's possible to at least touch on that man/woman thing as I decided to do what many GG's do in such situations, gave him a little hug and a kiss on the cheek. Thanked him for his lovely company and we all went our ways.

So I would say it's possible to experience that man/woman interaction in quite simple ways without crossing what you might feel are boundaries that would make you shudder. It doesn't have to be all or nothing. I present as a woman so I did the womanly thing. A small box ticked.