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Thread: Watchmaker

  1. #1
    New Member
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    May 2021


    Trying to explain how crossdressing fits into an otherwise straight married middle class life professional life is a bit confusing. We don't understand it so how do we explain it to others?

    I do think of the watch maker analogy- this is just one gear in a complex assembly. It makes us what we are. The good and hopefully not too much bad. Pll that one gear out and others may be glad it's gone, but the watch doesn't work anymore.

  2. #2
    Member MonicaPVD's Avatar
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    Jul 2018
    New England
    There's nothing to explain. Whatever works for you works for you. We spend an awful lot of bandwidth trying to rationalize things because, deep down inside, we haven't accepted ourselves. Bandwidth that we could put to better use living our lives to the fullest, pursuing happiness for ourselves and our loved ones.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member kimdl93's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    There are probably as many explanations as there are cross dressers. For some people, its perhaps a feature and benefit. For others, a fault in the software.
    The women are lovely,
    the wine is superb.
    But theres something
    About the song that
    disturbs you?

  4. #4
    Enby Member Krea's Avatar
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    Feb 2017
    Kent, England. UK
    Trying to explain "why" was difficult when i came-out to my wife, as i didn't really understand it myself.
    Now i have given up trying to understand why and instead consider "where do i go from here?"

    On a lighter note, a few chronologically-themed CDing thoughts:
    CDing is certainly what makes me tick.
    Some people only CD if they have time on their hands.
    Closeted members have to watch for their SO coming home.
    (Sorry - it's the start of the weekend....)

  5. #5
    Platinum Member Karren Hutton's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    South Western PA
    I have not worn a watch in years.... mine all broke and I never replaced them once I got a iPhone. So my analogy is that this thing I have is one of the many Apps that make up me... delete it and the other apps do not care. But I keep on working just with less capabilities ( and not as pretty)!! Almost like going back to a black boring case vs a pretty pink one! Lol.

  6. #6
    Exploring NEPA now Cheryl T's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    A woman asked me once Why?
    I told her I had been contemplating that question for 50+ years and still didn't have an answer. I also said that if I had the definitive answer I could make millions selling books and doing speaking engagements ... and here I am in your living room doing neither.
    Wear what makes you feel Confident !

  7. #7
    Platinum Member
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    Oct 2010
    Western Washington
    As other will surely respond; I do not know why I do what I do! When I first tried to explain myself to my wife I tried some of the traditional bull crap lines I have seen. I like pretty clothes. It relieves stress. Etc. None answer the why question. Why did I start in the first place? Why did I start and still do something that created so much angst and self loathing, etc. The simple answer is I don't know. Frankly, my life would have been better off if I was not a cross dresser.

  8. #8
    Weirdest woman ever! docrobbysherry's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Orange County, Calif.
    Sabine, using your own analogy? Even a broken watch is rite twice a day!

    I think that explains perfectly how a closet dresser's life works!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  9. #9
    Miss Judy Judy-Somthing's Avatar
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    Dec 2015
    Why should girls be the only one have fun.

    At a wedding one time I let out a big laugh. My wife said "what's so funny" I said "Oh nothing".

    The reason why I laughed is, as I looked around the women were dressed up so beautiful with makeup, sexy hairstyles, and they all had different style beautiful dresses.

    The man basically all looked the same like they all went to the same store that had only one style suit in slightly different colors.
    "This is ME" I am not CRAZY, I'm just a GUY who likes dresses!
    Since allot of men dress up in woman's clothing that makes it a manly thing to do!
    Much more fun than fishing.
    I do construction like house building and I love CD-ing, what's the difference?

  10. #10
    Shoes glorious shoes rachellegsep's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    South Africa
    Quite ironic its the source of my pocket money
    In search of muliebrity


  11. #11
    Aspiring Member
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    Jan 2012
    My pet peeve as well. I look at formal orchestras like Andre Rieu's, women in gorgeous shiny satin dresses, bare arms and bare shoulders. And the men? All exactly alike dressed like Penguins. No wonder we dress up.

    Last edited by Ineke Vashon; 05-07-2021 at 04:22 PM. Reason: spelling errors

  12. #12
    Member Lisa516's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2018
    Pittsburgh, PA
    Cross-dressing is grounded in a highly logical and universal desire: the wish to be, for a time, the gender one admires, is excited by ? and perhaps loves. Dressing like a woman is merely a dramatic, yet essentially reasonable, way of getting closer to the experiences of the sex one is profoundly curious about ? and yet has been (somewhat arbitrarily) barred from.
    As many as 43 percent of all people with gender dysphoria attempt suicide in their lives. dont let yourself become part of that very tragic statistic.

  13. #13
    Aspiring Shopaholic BTWimRobin's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2019
    Hi Sabine,

    Welcome to our little community.

    Questions like this make my head spin. I don't believe there is an answer. Just accept it and move on. It's soooo much easier and you'll have more time on your hands to do something girly.
    - Robin

    Because life is too short not to.

  14. #14
    Senior Member GretchenM's Avatar
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    Dec 2016
    Denver, Colorado
    Welcome to the forum.

    There are some excellent theories of how and why all this happens and some are very credible with piles of evidence to support them. Unfortunately, none of them are easy to understand without a lot of background in multiple fields of biology. Humans exhibit the most complex gender oriented behaviors of any animal on the planet and it is one of the most important aspects in our lives, second only to food, air and water. It forms the core of our social lives and how we interact. Gender is not sex or sexual. It is not a thing. It is a process and a behavior pattern that allows us to communicate with each other in very personal ways as well as intellectually.

    The mechanics of its workings are important, but what is really important is getting a handle on the feelings you have because those emotions are the substance of life and what others can understand more easily. You cannot sense the neural networks in your brain adapting and adjusting and developing responses in 1/100 of a second. You can only experience the results of those things. It is like gravity. You can't see it but everything is subject to its effects.

    Communication about your feelings is still hard to do, but through the use of analogies the other person can relate to helps. For example, "When the girl in me appears it feels like I am standing on the top of a hill at sunrise surrounded by multicolored clouds, a gentle warm breeze crossing my skin, ruffling my skirt. Pure emotion. A new day, new hopes, new things to deal with. New things to learn. The Earth awakening." Sure beats talking about neuroscience or behavioral genetics. Those are also very important, even critical. But linking it to feelings is comprehensible to anyone because we all have feelings and many of us feel the same way about the same things that we experience. So connections between two minds becomes more feasible when complexities are stated in terms of feelings. And it works real well with gender matters because gender is, in fact, all about feelings and your sense of self, your sense of who you are as a creature with deep and complex emotions that often define your life and how you live it.

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