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Thread: Do you ever feel ashamed or uncomfortable?

  1. #1
    I NEVER go bare-legged! Kimberly A.'s Avatar
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    Do you ever feel ashamed or uncomfortable?

    Hey y'all! For those of you who go out in public crossdressed, do you ever feel ashamed, uncomfortable, nervous or embarrassed? Now me, with as long as I've been doing it, (going on steadily for two and a-half years now), I do not feel that way..... Matter of fact, I feel more comforatable with myself when I go out en femme than when I go out as just plain, old me. LOL Now, I did feel that way the first time I ventured out en femme, but as I kept doing it, it got easier and easier and less embarrassing.

    Like for example, I've gotten to the point now where I don't like to do my grocery shopping unless I'm en femme, or even out to eat, I LOVE CD'ing so much! LOL Anyway, just a random thought and question.
    Last edited by Kimberly A.; 05-17-2021 at 05:22 PM.
    My YouTube channel: Kimberly A.

  2. #2
    Senior Member BrendaPDX's Avatar
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    Hi Kimberly, Great question, yes I do and yes I have. I am getting better like you say, I hope someday to be more like you, I better get out more! Thanks for asking

  3. #3
    Silver Member Sandi Beech's Avatar
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    Kimberly,

    I would not use the term embarrassed, but I do still get a little for lack of better words I would call it hesitant. I am not going out as often as you, but I have been going out almost 5 years now. It is hard to believe it has been that long really. Certainly the confidence and comfort level goes up over time. When I am having a nice interaction with people, the self doubt melts away instantly and that relaxed feeling of being able to be me is something that is hard to convey to those who have not experienced it yet. It can be a wonderful feeling. It seems like that is where you are at now.

    Sandi

  4. #4
    Aspiring Member
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    You prefer to do your shopping en femme. That means you are very comfortable en femme. The more comfortable you are, the less people will notice. the less people notice, the less ashamed or uncomfortable you will be.

  5. #5
    Miss Conception Karren H's Avatar
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    Never! Since I have been going out enfemme in public, I have felt excited and confident and proud.... never ashamed or embarrassed. If I had then chances are I would still be hiding in the closet.

  6. #6
    Senior Member mbmeen12's Avatar
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    Absolutely, I have a very large frame and not of a "normal GG stature".
    Escapism isn't necessarily bad, but is definitely unhealthy in the long term. While helpful in the short term, things will degrade over time. At some point, the escapee will have to face the issue. Things simply blowing over isn't really going to happen in many situations.

  7. #7
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    I always feel self conscious, ashamed, uncomfortable, embarassed.

    Which I shouldn't, because this is who I am.

  8. #8
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    Nope, not since the day that I decided to head out into the world after living in my shell for many years. I'm me, I'm not changing, and it's for the world out there to deal with - and you what - they do!!

  9. #9
    Gold Member Sometimes Steffi's Avatar
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    No, I don't usually feel ashamed, uncomfortable, nervous or embarrassed. In most cases, especially when talking with the public, I feel empowered.

    The only time I feel uncomfortable is when when I have to walk through a crowd of muggles to get to my car, at night. But, I don't think that's what you meant.
    Last edited by Sometimes Steffi; 05-18-2021 at 08:09 PM.
    Hi, I'm Steffi and I'm a crossdresser... And I accept and celebrate both sides of me. Or, maybe I'm gender fluid.

  10. #10
    I NEVER go bare-legged! Kimberly A.'s Avatar
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    Thanks for all your replies, ladies! That was kind of another one of my little ways to get to know y'all a little more and find out how comfortable you all are with with your CD'ing..... I can relate to a lot, if not all of what y'all said, such as the hesitation, (like what Sandi Beech mentioned). Sometimes yes, I'm still a little hesitant to step out en femme and yeah, I do get kinda nervous as well. Not becuase I'm out dressed like a woman, but because of what some person with ill intentions might try to do. Shucks, I've been hit on by guys and some of them even asked for my phone number, which I most definitely denied them and turned them down. LOL..... But that is why I carry a certain item for protection with me in my purse. Not because someone simply asks for my phone number, or hits on me, of course not. But in case someone tries to get physical with me while I'm en femme, I have my protection with me at all times.

    Anyway, that last statement is sorta beside the point. CharlotteCD, you are absolutely right, you should NOT feel ashamed, embarrassed or anything, because your feminine side, like most if not all of ours here, is who you are and you should embrace it, not hide it...... Well, I hide mine from my family, especially my dad because most of my family is very bigoted, especially my dad.

    mbmeem12, I, too have kind of a large masculine frame, but that still doesn't stop me from going out en femme. LOL

    For those of you who said you wish you were more like me...... Well, I'm not trying to really be a role model for anyone here, however I do appreciate that. I feel that we should all be who feel we are meant to be, whether that be just a straight guy who has no desire, whatsoever to crossdress, or a straight, bi, or gay guy who crossdresses, or a woman who crossdresses, (I know there are some out there, it's just not nearly as heard of as a m to f CD'er), or a transgender person..... We live in an ever-growing accepting society and should just embrace who we are. Gosh, I can sound so stupid sometimes and I hope that makes sense! LOL
    Last edited by Kimberly A.; 05-18-2021 at 08:52 AM.
    My YouTube channel: Kimberly A.

  11. #11
    Girliegirl Jillian Faith's Avatar
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    I'm typically comfortable going out but for some reason I get very uncomfortable around certain men, i.e. say the Nordstrom's Ladies shoe department where there are several men sales associates all wearing suits.
    Jill

  12. #12
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    As a six foot male weighing 200 pounds I still look fairly good as a male. As a woman, not so much. Actually, not at all. It's not an issue of being ashamed. I am not ashamed. I do take evening strolls in a safe residential neighborhood to "get it out of my system." I would feel uncomfortable shopping among the masses, no matter how well put together.

    Decades ago I felt ashamed and had a lot of self loathing as I did not understand why I was wore women's clothing. I now realize the problem I have is dealing with the problems other people have about people who are different than themselves.

  13. #13
    Silver Member Elizabeth G's Avatar
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    The first couple of times I went out I felt equal parts terror and exhilaration. That was a long time ago. Now I don?t have any qualms at all. I'm comfortable presenting female and it feels increasingly natural as time goes by. Shame has never been part of the equation.

  14. #14
    Member Just Dana's Avatar
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    I've been out a whopping two times now! I was definitely nervous (serious understatement) both times. However, each time that nervousness faded considerably as soon as I made it through the doorway.

    Any attention embarrasses me, so I will have to figure out how to deal with that aspect of going out. However, as most of you have said, people just don't pay that much attention. Luckily, shame hasn't been an issue.

    Dana

  15. #15
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    Yes, I feel both nearly every time I go out, at least until I've had a couple of positive interactions. The shame element comes from wondering what my wife would think if she could see me. She's not very accepting, although is very slowly coming to terms with it. It makes her sad though that I want to do this. If I've had a couple of good interactions I feel that she'd be less embarrassed, and so the shame and discomfort fades a bit. Until the next time I'm dressed and about to go out through the door, or get out of the car, and those horrible old fears/feelings come back again and again.

  16. #16
    Gold Member Alice Torn's Avatar
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    CharlotteCD, I can relate. i always feel shame and self conscious, uncomfortable and embarassed, because of siblings would jeer and torment me, if they find out, and i was raised old school and anything effeminate in a man was scorned and derided. And i live in a small town where everything gets around fast. I am conflicted until the day i will die about CDing, sadly. I have not gone out in over3 1/2 yrs.

  17. #17
    Gold Member Sometimes Steffi's Avatar
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    While I have been hit on by a couple of guys, I've also been hit on by a couple of GGs. The GGs wanted to kiss, and I hod no problem with that. We kissed.
    Hi, I'm Steffi and I'm a crossdresser... And I accept and celebrate both sides of me. Or, maybe I'm gender fluid.

  18. #18
    Claire M Claire M's Avatar
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    Ashamed .. never. Uncomfortable or nervous ... I still take a deep breath before I walk out my door or step out of my car en femme. The only other time I've feel nervous is having to wait in line in the women's bathroom especially if there is a group of high school age girls as well.

  19. #19
    Senior Member mbmeen12's Avatar
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    mbmeem12, I, too have kind of a large masculine frame, but that still doesn't stop me from going out en femme. LOL
    I still go out! It is just I am fully aware my frame does dont come close to a nat GG which plays off my energy in my mind and situational awareness.
    Escapism isn't necessarily bad, but is definitely unhealthy in the long term. While helpful in the short term, things will degrade over time. At some point, the escapee will have to face the issue. Things simply blowing over isn't really going to happen in many situations.

  20. #20
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    I only ever go out at night. Like you Alice, I was raised old school and the small town I live in has a very traditional way of thinking. I have been to a nightclub in the neighboring city and I'll sometimes stop at a convenience store to get a drink or something, but I don't know that those really count. lol The thought of being recognized or outed is terrifying to me. I need to work on that.

  21. #21
    Silver Member Aunt Kelly's Avatar
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    First off, let me make clear that I am not judging. Most of us are old enough to have had to deal with the widespread abhorrence that most cultures have for people like us. It's almost impossible to not have internalized some of that. The resulting angst positively drips from the posts of so many here. That said...

    Let us never be ashamed of who we are. Such misplaced guilt and shame is toxic to the spirit. Mind you, I'm not advocating that the casual crossdresser shares that with the world (unless they feel like it, of course). There are many valid reasons to keep private our gender identity/expression, but guilt is not one of them.
    Calling bigotry an "opinion" is like calling arsenic a "flavor".

  22. #22
    Member Billie's Avatar
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    I've not felt ashamed. It's tough sometimes, I've had my nails done for almost two years now. I've had all sorts of colors, designs, and shapes. AND there are still times when if someone stares just a little too long at them that I get a little uncomfortable. I've not had anyone say anything negative about them to me, and I have had lots of people say how much they like them.

    There are days were I can just go for it with other things like a women's shirt and bra, which wouldn't seem like much since I wear women's shorts or jeans and panties every day. And other days that I have a harder time feeling comfortable with that.

    I'm just trying to be me and sometimes that's harder to feel comfortable doing.

  23. #23
    Member Teresa.Smith.VA's Avatar
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    Deleted by Teresa.
    Last edited by Teresa.Smith.VA; 07-14-2021 at 02:20 PM.

  24. #24
    I NEVER go bare-legged! Kimberly A.'s Avatar
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    Teresa.Smith.VA..... That's awesome that your wife has been accepting of your CD'ing and has persuaded you to as well!

    And unless I misunderstood you, you said "Try it, you will like it!" Ok, do you mean trying to go on a date while en femme? Cause I mean, I've tried really, really hard before on dating sites to get a woman who will date me as a CD'er and I fail every time. Of course also, please keep in mind that I'm not gay or bisexual, I'll only date women. LOL Anyway, I see that you're from Virginia, of course and I'm from Mississippi..... Now, I know Virginia is a southern state, as is MS and most southerners, (especially MS and AL) are not yet as accepting of an alternative lifestyle such as CD'ing as people in other states are, which is probably the reason why I have such a hard time finding a date.

    I know, I went off-topic from my original post, but still a valid point imho. LOL

    [SIZE=1]- - - Updated - - -[/SIZE]

    Quote Originally Posted by mbmeen12 View Post
    I still go out! It is just I am fully aware my frame does dont come close to a nat GG which plays off my energy in my mind and situational awareness.
    mbmeen12, I do apologize, I misunderstood you. LOL..... I thought you meant that you don't go out en femme, it's cool that you do!
    My YouTube channel: Kimberly A.

  25. #25
    Silver Member Devi SM's Avatar
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    Kimberly, what you relate is just a matter of time to get used improving your make up and dressing skills. The problem is some don't have the many opportunities to dress so few practice.

    I remember the first times I was scared but with some confidence too because a lot of guys saw me before in internet and I received just compliments.

    Then, after my wife knowing about my cding, I started going out dressed very often, even twice a week. Once I invited wife with me but she was reluctant. It took a lot of time to get her going out with me. Watching pics from those days I can, now, understand why she was reluctant, she was actually embarrased of being with me because my attires, make up skills were really poor and I looked like a man dressed.

    Today I'm a tramswoman, I'd been living full time more than two years, we go together most of the time but now she's not embarrased but took some time for her to confess how embarrased she was.

    So one thing is to get used to go out without noticing what people see and other is to improve to really "pass" st least unnoticeable and blend....now I'm in voice feminization therapy because when I reached the point of bleeding, she was embarrased when I open ky mouth, and I could notice heads turning towards me....lol

    Btw, if you feel more comfortable in femme, it says something about being trans. Ever get in therapy?

    I can see here many that would be real happy living as a woman....but I know fears...buy fear is a children of ignorance...

    Devi

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