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Thread: Do you ever feel ashamed or uncomfortable?

  1. #26
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    I would like to say that feelings of being conspicuous or embarrassed are long gone, but really these can reemerge at any time for me. I managed to get out once in a while during the covid lulls, but lately its been more difficult to do so, and I expect that when I finally do, I will feel the same apprehensions I experienced a decade or more ago.
    Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.

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  2. #27
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    So long as I am not anywhere near my home, I feel perfectly normal and comfortable going out dressed in any setting or environment. If I am close to home, the concern over being spotted by an acquaintance who recognized my car, bumped into me at the store, or something like that is strong. Therefore, I refrain from going out dressed in my town.

  3. #28
    Aspiring Member Alex!'s Avatar
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    This is an important question because I think it reveals a deeper truth about ourselves.

    I would say I am uncomfortable when en femme in public; not ashamed but certainly a bit embarrassed. This is because of two reasons. One is feeling a bit like a fraud while pretending to be a woman superficially. This is exacerbated by an awareness that I actually don't want to actually be a woman and though I get a momentary charge out of being noticed for good reasons, I also would rather blend in and not be noticed at all. Secondly, I am physically uncomfortable wearing a wig, smack on my face, and body shaping stuff. Indeed, in the summer months, I pull back on the CD throttle a but because the heat makes everything worse.

    Why the question is important is that I believe if one is comfortable being en femme in public, that might help confirm that taking the next step is indeed the right decision to make.
    Alex Forbes
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  4. #29
    Aspiring Member Territx's Avatar
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    I always feel self-conscious, ashamed, uncomfortable, and somewhat embarrassed about any "extra" attention I get - but also, exhilarated, composed, comfortable, and serene. After all, there are many parts to my persona and there are also many parts to the emotions I have when I have been out dressed as my "other self".
    I am what I am and also what I am not!

  5. #30
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    I lost any inhibitions years ago.

    I just go out and interact with anyone without any negative feelings at all.
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  6. #31
    Aspiring Shopaholic BTWimRobin's Avatar
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    I tend to venture out in more of a hybrid mode. Each time I go out, I try to push the envelope a little more. While I feel very comfortable with my state of dress I am, at times, self-conscience. I am proud of who I am and try my hardest to display confidence even when I am out of my comfort zone.
    - Robin


    Because life is too short not to.

    It's ironic ... I finally found a group of guys I fit in with. Funny how they all enjoy being one of the girls.

    Wife: Why do you fold your panties? Me: I don't like my panties in a wad!

  7. #32
    Silver Member Devi SM's Avatar
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    Alex, if I can ask, with so many uncomfortably and fears, do you go out or just dress at home?

  8. #33
    Silver Member Geena75's Avatar
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    My initial response would be "Of course I am, all of the above. Otherwise, why would I be concerned about being seen by someone I know." I really appreciate the point of getting away from usual haunts when going out feminized to alleviate that concern. I've been dreaming of an outing and it would be about 10 miles from home to a town where I'm not going to run into anyone who would know me. Were my dream to come true, I wonder how I would feel then? If I do it, you'll certainly find out.

  9. #34
    Aspiring Member Alex!'s Avatar
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    I go out a few times a year as my schedule allows. I dont experience fear, just uncomfortableness and I am hyper aware of my surroundings. But these feelings are no match for the pleasure I experience temporarily letting go of culturally defined masculinity and hanging out with like minded chums.

  10. #35
    Member Julie Slowinski's Avatar
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    The short answer is, no. The honest answer is, sometimes. I think we all have internalized transphobia that rears its head every once in a while. The key for me is recognize that it is happening and have my conscience mind shut down my subconscious with a little ?shut up, you!!? If I?m out and about and I start feeling uncomfortable and self-conscious, possibly because of the people around me, then I get a bit of tunnel vision, where I just focus on what I?m doing. Of course, that?s a great idea if my safety is in question, but that is quite rare.
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  11. #36
    Silver Member Devi SM's Avatar
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    Julie Slowinski, I think you have a huge misconception, we CANNOT control our subconscious or unconcious mind, for that is call that way, it is something buried in areas of our brain that have huge control in our lives but we have no control at all, at least in the way you mention like "shut up".
    I believe what you're talking about is you recognize some areas in your personality that you don't like and try to help yourself saying words like that buy to control you unconcious mind? It's very laughable....

  12. #37
    Girl about Town Jodie_Lynn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CharlotteCD View Post
    I always feel self conscious, ashamed, uncomfortable, embarassed.
    Then don't. If Charlotte is your true expression of self, why would you feel any of those emotions?
    Before you can love another, you must first like yourself

    I Aim To Misbehave

    Labels belong on BOXES, not PEOPLE!

  13. #38
    Exploring NEPA now Cheryl T's Avatar
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    Of course I've felt that way.
    The first few years of going out I was always nervous and afraid. Now I no longer feel that way. This is me, this is part of the whole and I want to enjoy being whole. I spent too many years in pieces and now that they are all put back in their proper places I no longer feel nervous or afraid.
    I don't wear women's clothes, I wear MY clothes !

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