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Thread: Are your spending habits in control?

  1. #1
    Member CharlotteCD's Avatar
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    Are your spending habits in control?

    I have a limit on what I spent on a single piece of clothing. I don't spend over ?15 on anything because I can't justify spending on something that i'll never wear outside. There have been exceptions for my wig, which was ?100 or so.

    Recently I added up how much I have spent in the last 6-7 years, and it came to just over ?2500. It's crazy how much i've spent in recent years, especially when I think about how many items of clothing i've bought and then thrown away 6-12 months later. I probably only own ?400 of the clothing i've bought.

    I still find myself looking for more clothes, even though it is 70-80% likely that they'll be binned in at some point in the near future.

    Seeing the other thread about one of our members keeping 25 of an item, it doesn't seem like I have an addiction to buying clothes or hoarding. I do however feel that I need to cut back a bit.

    Anybody else think they've found themselves overspending, addicted etc?

  2. #2
    Gold Member bridget thronton's Avatar
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    I have to really like something to spend more than $50 on an item - but I still do several times a year

  3. #3
    Silver Member Sometimes Steffi's Avatar
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    I'm on a budget. No cash;no spending. Since I'm in a DADT relationship, I don't use credit cards for Steffi because my wife does the bills. Think, "You bought what? For how much?" If I'm going out of town, I do charge the hotel an conference cost and reimburse the house in cash.

    But, just like in real life, I have a small "emergency fund", in case something extraordinary come up. But, I still have to repay the emergency fund, or there's nothing left for the next emergency.
    Hi, I'm Steffi and I'm a crossdresser... And I accept and celebrate both sides of me. Or, maybe I'm gender fluid.

  4. #4
    Senior Member Maid_Marion's Avatar
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    I easily have two dozen pairs of jeans. My waistline has dropped from 29 and 25 and I'm keeping the old ones just in case I have difficulty keeping a thin waistline as I get older.

    I had a stroke twenty years ago. I've been constantly working on my balance and coordination since then.
    After a couple of years of walking on high heels my balance and coordination is better than it has ever been!

    I've just taken up golf and all that work has paid off! I've been practicing my swing and learning to coordinate my whole body!
    I've been buying used clubs on ebay. Which is just like buying clothes, finding the ones that fit my needs. There aren't a whole lot of short golfers out there that need to buy clubs right now.

    I consider it retail therapy.

    Marion

  5. #5
    Miss Conception Karren Hutton's Avatar
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    I do not have a budget...... thanks to a lifetime of saving and investing. I added it up once and it was in the tens of thousands. All worth every dime. Do not get me wrong I do not throw money away frivolously but dropping a couple hundred on clothes is not an issue. And I also like to use cash

  6. #6
    Gold Member Lana Mae's Avatar
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    Like most of us, I have too many clothes!
    I have a $50 limit on items but reserve the right to exceed that if I really, really want an item! Of course the wigs and breast forms exceed that limit! There have been a few clothing items as well! That said, nothing gets bought until the bills are paid!
    Hugs Lana Mae
    Life is worth living!
    "Foxy lady! You look so good!!" Jimi Hendrix

  7. #7
    I can only be me Samm's Avatar
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    Addicted? Yes. My wardrobe is confined to a small closet, and a couple of dresser drawers. I don't overspend on anything. I shop thrift stores and clearance racks, and my wigs are no more than $65.00.
    That said, I would like to make the investment in a better wig someday. And by that, I'm talking like $100 - $150 .... maybe.

  8. #8
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    No set budget for me I have learned that buying higher quality items not only fit and look better they seem to last longer. It would scare me if I added up the cost of my girl side but what the heck also it makes me feel good when I donate like new clothes at the local goodwill. Off topic but I wonder what the ladies that buy my donated clothes would think if they knew they came from a crossdresser.

  9. #9
    Aspiring Member April Rose's Avatar
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    I don't seem to have that problem. I was worried that after my wife died I would go crazy with clothes shopping, but it just hasn't happened. I guess a lifetime of dealing with tight financial straights has developed into habitual frugality. i am spending a little more on better quality, but I still won't buy anything unless I can coordinate it with an outfit or a piece I've already got.

    My entire wardrobe fits in two relatively small closets, and three dressers.
    I am a vessel of the goddess. Let me express my calling to a feminine life through nurturing love and relatedness.

  10. #10
    Senior Member BrendaPDX's Avatar
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    Addicted, Yes! Over spending, no. Hoarder, yes. I have too many women's cloths, way more women's cloths than my men's cloths. I almost always go to thrift or second hand stores, never really worried about overspending, I just run a little tight that way.

  11. #11
    Aspiring Member Star01's Avatar
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    I am a conservative spender (my wife would add that I?m cheap). Money isn?t an issue, I have investments I haven?t even touched, a good retirement and I get a 10% VA disability for hearing damage working on the flight deck while in the service. That is $142 per month to do with as I please. I still have $1k left from a stimulus check that is mine to spend. Nevertheless, my wife pays the bills so if I take $500 of my own money and don?t show her what I used it for there will be questions. It?s not like she stands over me and demands accountability for every penny of my money. It?s just that if I take out $500 all at once she will expect to see a new guitar or piece of recording gear or a camera lens or something to show for it. She wouldn?t demand answers but red flags would go up if she asks and I appear uncomfortable trying to explain what I spent it on. Wives have that radar thing where they know right away if we try to avoid discussing something. What I sometimes do is stash change away until I have a few hundred bucks that she isn?t aware of. For example, I junked an old van that the salvage yard gave me $150 for that I pocketed and still have $40 left over that will go towards feminine clothing. If I play my cards right there is always $10 or $20 left over that I can tuck away.
    Last edited by Star01; 05-18-2021 at 10:01 AM.

  12. #12
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    I would concur it seems totally crazy to continue spending when I darn well know I'll never be able to wear everything I have purchased. I was rummaging through over twenty Xerox paper reams boxes looking for a pink nightie. There was tons of panties and bras and hosiery that have never been worn. Yet, I continue to buy more. I talked to my therapist about buying habits. It's called "retail therapy." If I did have the opportunity to hang dresses in the closet and put undergarments in draws I'd probably cut down on my buying. Until then it's buy, buy and buy some more. Yesterday I received three panties for my "collection" in colors that I did not already have. Today I got an email from Kohl's that my order for three panties in new colors has been shipped.

    As to the dollars amounts. I don't know? My wife and I are spending our kids inheritance. Any out of control buying habits can be an issue of contention in any marriage. It is a legitimate issue for a wife to raise. In the past I viewed buying femme clothing as less injurious than using alcohol or drugs; legal or illegal.

  13. #13
    Aspiring Member Alex!'s Avatar
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    I admit that I spend a decent amount for quality, but only on items that I will wear in public. So, a wig, styled by a professional; makeup; and clothing. That said, there are inexpensive ways to enhance an outfit, like costume jewelry, scarves, and so forth.
    Alex Forbes
    Faux Femme
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  14. #14
    Gold Member Alice Torn's Avatar
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    t way too much from 2005 to 2017, t to quit cding. I went broke in 2014, and wished i had not spent it all.
    IT TAKES A REAL DRESS TO WEAR A MAN.

  15. #15
    Sort of a n00b Pixie_94's Avatar
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    Yes, that's more under control than ever before! I'm broke, but for other reasons. Even if I had any money, I doubt I'd try go to any clothing store and even less to shop online (no idea of how to do it).

  16. #16
    New Member CallMeHeather's Avatar
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    I am the breadwinner and my SO encourages my dressing, so I thankfully don't have to worry about hiding my purchases... but when I get the urge to shop, there's not a lot of self-control. When I see something cute or sexy and it's in my size, I buy it. Since I know this about me, I try to avoid being around my favorite stores (not too much of a challenge during COVID)- and also try to stay away from their web sites if they offer online ordering.

    My biggest issue now is I have more outfits than we have places to visit at the moment. We are both SOOOOOO over this pandemic; some great local spots permanently shut down, restaurants both under-staffed and with hardly any customers (hate being the only people eating). And yet my outfit collection grows; hope they don't go out of style before I have a chance to wear them in public!

    Makeup is another story- while I have got all the basics and have developed a process and a style, I still have either weak or unexplored areas (eyeliner, lashes, brows) and sometimes I'll buy several different products mostly for experimental purposes. I often don't know whether the problem is the product or the technique, so I end up with a bunch of different products that I've only used once or twice before moving on to something else.

  17. #17
    Silver Member
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    Is my spending in control? It depends on your point of view. I have spent a lot over the years and continue to do so but not at the expense of my comfort or eventual retirement.

  18. #18
    Isn't Life Grand? AllieSF's Avatar
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    As a crossdresser I had no budget and bought what I wanted when I saw something I liked, mostly thrift stores, Craigslist and eBay. Once I started HRT I completely stopped buying clothes, wearing what I had. My only big purchases were for my full time casual wardrobe, shorts, Tshirts, tops and some jackets. I believe that my dysphoria was somewhat satisfied by buying the way too many clothes, some that I have yet to wear.

  19. #19
    Member Lilly Diadem's Avatar
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    I haven't bought anything since Jan 2020.
    I have lots of clothes and shoes some of which I hardly wear, so there is a considerable investment there.
    There is still enjoyment to be had in looking for new things but generally it is limited to online 'window shopping' these days as I don't need anything else.
    Some of the shoes that I bought over a decade ago are starting to deteriorate in particular a pair of patent flats are peeling on the outside and the lining is breaking down - the are Clarks shoes so were not cheap but nothing lasts forever. There is a thought at the back of my mind to replace these but I have other flats so it is not necessary.
    I cleared out all of my makeup earlier in the year most of which had been hardly used so my SO saved a decent amount of money by not having to buy some items she was running low on and nothing got wasted.
    I decided that the days of full transformation are long gone for me, so the brief flirtation with wigs and makeup in late 2019 was the last time I'll do that.

    On a slightly different note everything will go at some point before I die if I have the luxury of being able to make the timing right so there is nothing for the SO to sort if she outlives me or nothing for anyone else to deal with after my demise.
    Lots of Love Lilly xx

    Not me in the avatar but the lovely Jenny Powell who I loved so much

  20. #20
    Member Happilymarriedguy's Avatar
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    I don't have a budget for my female clothing, but I usually don't spend over $50 for anything.

    I shop sales and clearance, and there are times I see something I really really really want, but it is more than I am willing to spend so I just don't get it.

  21. #21
    Junior Member JuliannaS's Avatar
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    I'm very frugal. Only buy cheap stuff on sale.
    JuleS.

  22. #22
    Senior Member TheHiddenMe's Avatar
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    Like many, I have more clothes than places to wear them.

    Fortunately, my wife and I are financially comfortable (ok, very comfortable) so the issue for me is not whether we can financially afford it (yes), it's whether I can psychologically afford it--can I justify mentally what I'm buying. I went out today and tried on a very cute formal dress, by a label I like (Vince Camuto) that was 80% off and selling for $28. It was really cute and I can easily afford $28 but I tell myself I am unlikely to be going to a place where I would wear this dress. So I has on it.

    I shop at thrifts and stores like Nordstrom. At Nordstrom, I prefer the discount racks (same with Macy's). I'm also fortunate (putting it mildly) my GG friend Michelle purges her wardrobe from time to time and gifts me her set asides. We are similar sizes so her stuff generally fits me.

  23. #23
    Gold Member alwayshave's Avatar
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    Crossdressing is such a minor part of my budget, I don't think it's out of control.
    Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".

  24. #24
    Member Ameli's Avatar
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    I always buy more when I’m not able to dress. I use shopping for femme items as a way to fill the void when I’m unable to feel fulfilled by dressing. Of course, the best solution is to dress more! ❤️

  25. #25
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    Pretty much under control, but that has not always been the case. I think there is a phase one goes through where buying your own things evokes a measure of euphoria. For a person with a compulsive streak, that can become a very expensive means of gratification. I bought many an item that looked good on the model, but plainly didn?t suit my physique. Disposing of half a closet of ill-advised purchases has helped me keep my enthusiasm under control.
    Our only truth is narrative truth, the stories we tell each other and ourselves, the stories we continually recategorize and refine. Such subjectivity is built into the very nature of memory. Oliver Sacks

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