So I have been consumed lately with getting up the courage to go out dressed in public. I;m a 60 year of crossdresser, and never have been in public dressed (except for a quick run to and from my car a few years ago). I recently have been listening to crossdressing podcasts, reading Savannah Hauk’s books on crossdressing and realizing I need to validate myself by going out dressed and being seen by others. So, while traveling this week I brought a selection of clothes. I checked into my hotel and changed into black jeggins, wedge sandles, red tank top and my blonde wig and makeup. Once dressed I stared at the hotel door and walked toward it, took a deep breath and walked out the door to my rental car. My plan was to go to a local outlet mall and go to the Hanes factory store (with Bali, maidenform, etc.) I drove there feeling very femme and sexy and when I pulled up, it was 8:00 pm. The store was closing…Ugh!!!. So, not to be defeated I searched for a Macy’s on my phone and found one 15 miles away that was still opened. I drove there and drove around each of its three entrances (was a local mall) looking to see which one was nearer too Macy?s women?s section. Once I selected my entrance, I again took a deep breath, grabbed my purse and opened the car door. My walk to the entrance was a little wobbly (had practiced with the heels but not enough), but I slowed my pace, straightened my posture and took small steps. I opened the door and looked around (I was looking for lingerie) and saw none and realized, oh god, I have to walk across the store!. So I began strutting..swinging my hips a little more with each stride. Finally I spotted the “intimates” section that seemed to be a mile away..
Once i got to that section my heart was pounding and I could feel my chest rising and falling with each breath. But there was a huge satisfying smile on my face. It was late and the store only had a few other women walking around and none seemed to notice me. So I walked through every bra rack..looking at each, holding them up..until i picked two I liked. Then I moved on to panties and did the same, choosing two cute pairs. IN all, I spent about 20 minutes in heaven, shopping as Brandy.
Now, I needed to cross the final barrier of paying for my lingerie and checking out. I looked across the store and saw the cashier’s station and saw a small line there waiting. Should I just lurk around until the line goes down, or go stand in line? I again chose to face my fears and went and stood in line. No one seemed to care or pay attention (again confirming what I have heard in most of the crossdressing podcasts and books). When it was my turn to check out the cashier (her name was Noreen) did everything she could to make me feel comfortable. She talked about how I picked out such cute items, that I might want to consider another bra she directed me to, and told me to come back for the holiday sale (memorial day). I think I responded coherently, but really can’t attest that I did..I just smiled brightly!.
Finally I completed the transaction and strutted out the door..happy in my girl form, proud of this ultimate achievement.
Now I’m ready for the next step! This is me back in the hotel with my purchases!!!!Notification_Center.jpg