How does your SO support, or better yet, encourage your CD?

[Aka_Donna]

My last query was "successful", i.e., 3 pages of responses, so I thought I'ld take another stab at creating a subject that others might read as a lengthy and comprehensive library of good personal experiences.


I'll start it off: For me we've moved from "don't do this" to "don't show me" to "ok, I'll play show me."

Our practice is to end the night in relaxed mode. She'll get into comfy clothes and if I'm pre-occuppied with something remark "hey you haven't changed yet".

Today this practice is described as "nightly eye candy". What an encouraging comment.

I'm not a good story teller. So many here are much more skilled in telling. So

What's your story?
How does you SO encourage your CD experiences?

[Misiokaku]

Hello SirDonna
I am not crossdressing "typically". For me it is all about the hair. I am 39 and dreamed of having long girly, then feminine hair for my whole life. Well after 11 years I finally told my girlfriend. My SO found out about my "hair fetish" maybe 8 years ago and I told hair the half truth and started growing my hair. She didn't like the fact and I liked my long hair but it wasn't what I wanted. Last year we had severe problems but one thing I told her was the whole truth about my desire to to have hair like... A typical woman, long, styled, colored, layered just beautiful. I cut my hair prior to telling her. Since I know my own hair will not be what I desire I bought a! Very expensive! Wig... But just beautiful. She helped me to choose it. first she was not convinced and confused but after lot of talking she now fully understands a knows that this is a part of me and I told her with hair like this I feel like myself finally. Now I have ordered the next one and again she helped me to choose and also this one was very expensive but she knows how important this is for me and for her it was also kind of a priority. So now I can't wait for the next one. I wear the first one as often as possible in my free time... Just at home. To small city. But I told her that for a longer vacation somewhere away I want to go with the long hair. And she was accepting but the pandemic crossed my plans. So right now no new plans.
I also told her about wanting to have earrings. so this is something I want to try when the new wig arrives, but just clip earrings. I also told her about maybe wanting to "try" women clothes but this was a little bit too far. Maybe I will get back to this topic one day. But as of now with the hair I am happy!!

[Charla]

It’s not so much CD as it’s acceptance of my transgender state. I came out to my wife about 2 years ago. She agreed to my throwing out all my male underwear and gave me recommendations on panties and jeans and bras. She’s been accepting of my HRT regime and the weekly routine of washing bras and panties. We’ve done mani and pedi sessions together.

[Elizabeth G]

My wife didn't sign up for this and only found out about it after the fact (let's not get into that here). When she did find out at first it was a question of whether or not our marriage would survive. Over the intervening five years things have come quite a ways. She still prefers not to see me fully dressed, though she has. My clothes are kept in the open in my closet and in a shared bureau. My wife is fully aware of when I'm dressed, which is several days each week. When discussions of eventually moving when we reach retirement age come up she always states that we have to make sure I have space and time to dress. She knows I have no men's underwear and is fine with that. I also keep my toenails painted and she's good with that. As a matter of fact when my 20 month old granddaughter noticed my toenails recently my success reaction kind of surprised me. Rather than ask me to cover them around her my wife commented about it being nice that my granddaughter would grow up thinking it was totally normal.

Those are just a few of the ways she has shown her support and I am thankful for her everyday.

Progress has been slow but steady. My wife has come quite far and I appreciate it every day.

Elizabeth

[kimdl93]

My SO story doesn’t end well, so I won’t repeat it again here.

[Kat42]

She puts up with me/she, but absolutely no encouragement/participation. I asked for a small favor at a most tender moment. NYET! Not happened, not likely gonna happen...

[kayegirl]

Well, not exactly encouragement, but my wife knows. I have no male underwear whatsoever, wear nighties every single night. All of my clothes are kept in plain view, the only items that are not are my forms and wigs. She knows that on the days when she is at work, I will be full enfemme, even leaves notes asking Kaye to do some shopping or domestics. Most of my day to day clothing is from the ladies side of the shop, BUT, and it is a big but, she has no desire to participate at all.

[erica2054]

Same problem. I get no support

[Jillian Faith]

My ex wife was very much like Connie's wife one minute taking me shopping the next ridiculing me for being a CD. My current wife was very slow coming to acceptance but once she got there she has been wonderfully supportive, shopping online for me, going out as girlfriends to shows, shopping and lunch.

[alwayshave]

My wife is supportive. I told her when we were dating prior to moving in. She has bought me things, helps me with my feminine movements, gives me her opinion and goes out with me dressed.

[Jannis]

I underdress every day. I wear panties 24/7, camisole, knee high stockings (leggings in winter) and keep my hair shoulder length. I get mani/pedis with painted toes. My wife will make an appointment and sometimes we go together. She does not say anything about the underdressing, but complains about my hair from time to time. She likes a slightly shorted hairstyle. That is as far as we have gone thus far. I wanted pierced ears to wear earrings and she is starting to warm to the idea. After that, I don’t know what comes next. I do try to buy unisex tops and shorts in summer, but unless I go full mode I am stuck at this point. What would you suggest?

[Gi Gondin]

Great topic SirDonna! I believe SO support is crucial to achieve our potential, not only in crossdressing, but in many aspects of our life? work, spiritually, family relationships, hobbies, study goals, etc?

I have an amazing girlfriend and have told some experiences we had together. But I?ll share a new detail of our relationship that will show her encouragement.

For more than 10 years she meticulously prepares new years resolutions and have them written down by december 31st. Since we have been dating, she asks me if I want to participate in some resolutions and I have for the last 3 years. She takes this process very seriously and checks and works towards this goals in a weekly basis. There are usually from 7 to 12 goals, varying from weight goals, academic, financial and leisure. Just for example this year we have a minimum 130 days of reading for at least 30 minutes, at least 130 days of exercise, etc?

But what made this year very special is that we have a separate list of new years resolution for Gisele. That was her idea and I loved. We discussed things that we would like to achieve by the end of the year and put this list below. I cannot be happier with my girlfriend and in love with someone so special. Its like she reads my mind and knows me better than myself. Very thankful.

Gisele?s new years resolution - 2021

1. Have a full enfemme trip
2. By a breast plate
3. Reduce waist by 3 inches
4. Have little oscillation in Giseles interest to dressup. ?No blackouts?
5. Finish hair laser removal treatment.
6. Exercise focused on getting a more feminine body. (Waist, butt, hips,?)
7. Take a self makeup course.

Its a short list but for me is very important. We check at least 2 times por month and already have nailed 2 and 7. Have 3, 4, 5 and 6 ongoing as expected. And for number 1 we?re waiting for covid recedes to plan this trip.

As always I hope that this helps to inspire others and bring some joy!

Keep safe,
Gi.

[Connie D50]

My wife has taken me on a roller coaster for over 40 years. "show me" To "lets go out shopping (dressed)" to "stop it" to "It's ok" Now repeat this 10 times in 40 years that is my wife. (life)

[Alexis00]

My wife has taken me on a roller coaster for over 40 years. "show me" To "lets go out shopping (dressed)" to "stop it" to "It's ok" Now repeat this 10 times in 40 years that is my wife. (life)

Mine was a lot shorter but went from accepting to experimenting with me to questioning to accusations. But there was a lot going on in her head.

Divorced for years but learned recently she is now supportive but convinced I will transition to full time and become a wife. Full time for me is limited to a few days of vacation but many women seem to believe all CD’s want to transition. Despite many talks to the contrary.

[TamT]

I hid my CDing from my wife until she found a dress hidden among my things. Back then, about 20 years ago, I tried to get her to understand the situation, but she never accepted it. We had couples therapy and she left after a few sessions because the therapist did not give her hope that I would change, and that it was I who should be in therapy, because she was convinced that I wanted to transition. We are still together and have children, but the subject has always bothered her and she scoffs at some situations. She is always wondering if I have done something to myself when my skin has reacted to something in the environment, as if I had worn makeup for a moment during her absence.

[SissieScott]

My wife has taken me make-up and clothes shopping, she has bought things for me, I wear nighties to bed, and there have been times she has asked if I will be sexy and waiting for her when she gets home (like this morning ).
Going shopping with her is great because I can get her input on stuff that looks good on me, and stuff she may want to see me in.

[cubbyd12]

My SO tolerates it. Never any encouragement, no helping in anything.

[cdinmd206]

My now ex SO was tolerant at first and even bought me my accessories, like purses, ear rings, jewellery and would do my makeup. After a few years she did not want to go out with me to clubs anymore and I found out she was having affairs. After the divorce I found out she thought I was messing around with other CDs and that is why she was stepping out.

[Cheryl T]

The encouragement I receive is in the form of constructive criticism.
When we shop for clothes or I wear an outfit I will be given her honest opinion whether positive or negative. It's never a put down, just simply her opinion and why it looks good or not.
I do the same for her in all cases.

[JTChance]

I had it easy. Married a theater major in her undergrad. She said "The day you tell me what to wear is the day I'll tell you what to wear. Plus, you're better at fashion. Let's go shopping."

It helps that our measurements are almost identical except for the extra 6" of legs I get to brag about.

[Natalie5004]

support? Just barely tolerates it is more like it.

[ShelbyDawn]

Well, she filed for divorce and now I don't have to care what she thinks...

[Jacke]

My long response was lost in the posting because I had to sign in again. Short version, she has bought makeup for me, shopped for dresses and underwear. She has shared with me some clothes she inherited. Only a few fit, but her willingness to give them to me is encouraging. I can dress at home when I want. She still does not understand, but she knows it is still me under the clothes so she is fine with it. I am so fortunate to have had her in my life for 50 years.

[Joyce Swindell]

My wife buys me cloths, panties shoes, makeup....etc. Basically when she's shopping for herself she always has Joyce in mind as well. She once ordered matching night gowns for us. Pretty awesome!. If I stay in my man cloths after we are finished with our day for the evening. On occasion she will ask "aren't you going to put your night gown on?" If I'm wearing something that was hers she refers to me as a bitch if she feels that I look better in it than she did. (she's just joking around) She will also give me her honest opinion if something looks bad or good.

I'm such a blessed person

[Teri Ray]

After the "big talk" my wife has been very supportive. I am quite sure that she may not fully understand why I have this desire but then neither do I. We shop together frequently. When shopping we find things that we believe the other would like. My wife buys me things on occasion. My wife chooses not to see me fully dressed with a wig and make up but does not mind me showing her a new item on me and how it looks. We have agreed on my dressing boundaries and to that extent my wife is mindful of asking when I might want a "Teri" day. Like others have stated I feel I am very lucky to have such a wonderful thoughtful wife.