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Thread: How do you find other "gurl" friends?

  1. #1
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    How do you find other "gurl" friends?

    Hi! My names Lexi and I've been expressing my feminine side for as long as I can remember. Dressing is definitely my favorite hobby, as no feeling in the world can compete with the feeling of a cute outfit, some heels, and makeup (I'm sure you girls can all relate lol). Anyway, I have unfortunately been closeted my whole life so every time I dress, its just by my self. I don't mind being alone but seeing pictures of my online CD friends dressing with other people just kinda makes me jealous. To be clear, THIS IS NOT ASKING FOR A HOOKUP, I just want some girls to have girls night with and stuff like that. So I haven't really dressed since high school, I've been attending UW-Madsion for two years now and not only have I not had the oppertunity/recources to dress, I thought that a CD community would be much more prevelent in such liberal city as this one but that sadly has not been the case. Anyway, as summer is here I think it would be just awesome to find someone else who shares the passion of expressing feminity as we all do. So, where should I look to meet some friends, and before you say online, I have already tried and people want nothing but sex. At least, I have tried all the mainstream websites, if you know any ones with good people such as this one let me know! Thanks!

    XOXO
    -Lexi

  2. #2
    Aspiring Member Sandi Beech's Avatar
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    Hey Lexi,

    Personally, I would not try to meet up with people online. I have been to numerous bars and clubs and it is actually quite easy to meet new people. Granted I am mostly going to LGBT type venues, but that is just to make sure I am accepted. You will not find a lot of crossdressers but you will meet some. Many women are accepting and fairly open to girls night outings. And occasionally you may have men take interest. What you do is up to you, but it is a lot easier than you think. You just have to take that first step of going out. Be friendly and talk to people and they will respond in kind. Usually all it takes is to complement someone to spark a friendly conversation. Good luck with it.

    Sandi

  3. #3
    Isn't Life Grand? AllieSF's Avatar
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    Lexi,

    You want a non-sexual sidekick to meet up with, talk, maybe go out in public or whatever. That is what I understand. So, the rest of what I recommend is based on that.

    The first time I ever dressed with the intention to see how it really feels was with someone I met on-line and took a risk in agreeing to meetup in a local hotel. That risk worked out great for me because I dressed completely with wig, false lashes, makeup and clothes. When I looked in the mirror when done I was flabbergasted to say the least!! I had a smile on my face every time I thought about that moment for the next month. From that moment, I also knew that I had to "Take that show on the road!", meaning I wanted to go out in public dressed as a woman.

    To do that I realized that I needed just the sidekick that you are looking for, and I watched for posts just like yours here on this website back in early 2007. I am lucky to live in the San Francisco Bay area where diversity is the norm and not the exception, from ethnicities, to US and international humans coming here for work and play, to races, to the great and large already existing LGBTQ+ community here that everyone else had at least some knowledge about. Fortunate for me, I met one local member and one who traveled here for business. I did that by just being curious and by reading here just about all new threads and looking for locals who posted here about there experiences and those travelers who came to the area for business or fun. One of those members, Windy Cissy, is still a dear friend of mine who I talked to yesterday. I also tried a few other sites, but only this site seemed to work for me. So, I also recommend that you do something similar here and on any other site that you frequent. It takes work and a bit of luck, but it can work. Also, look for local LGBTQ+ support and social groups in your area at home and near your school. CD groups only will be hard to find, but by meeting people under the larger umbrella will allow you to network to meet people like or almost like you that may be able to help you out. I would also frequent a few gay bars as many are open to everyone, including lesbians, gender queer and CD/Trans people, and straight people. Some have drag show and a lot have dancing. If you don't drink alcohol, all have some sort of limited non-alcoholic beverages. They are fun and they do exist. Also, you should check with your university to see if they have an LGBTQ+ office that is there to help people with their diverse lifestyles and identities. Be honest with them and ask the same question that you asked here.

    I wish you the best and having that sidekick is really a game winner in my experience and more than well worth the effort. Many on this site have done the same thing with a lot of success. For me, those initial steps have led me on a wonderful and fun trip taking one step at a time until I took that big step and accepted that I am a trans woman, a woman, and a proud one. MY story is a unique one and by taking your first steps does not in any way mean you will take a lot more like I did. However, taking the right steps can bring to the place you need to be, that is right for you. You did the next right step by creating this post! Congratulations and enjoy the life that you have left.

    Allie

  4. #4
    Sallee Sallee's Avatar
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    Other any support groups near by Certainly there must be some in Chicago . I agree with you it is hard to meet others even when I was going to a support group regularly it was hard to find time to have a GNO other than on support group nights
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]Sallee

  5. #5
    Silver Member Sometimes Steffi's Avatar
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    I also connected with a local girl here. We met in a local restaurant, both of us en femme. She introduced me to two friends, and they introduced me to two friends and pretty soon I was going out with a dozen friends.

    I've also met up with other girls while travelling for business in Houston (for a makeover) and Denver for dinner and private shopping with about 20 other girls. The girl I met in Denver I had previously met here.

    I met a girl here and we met in Bethlehem PA (both en homme).

    I met several (maybe half a dozen) girls from here and met them FtF here. Some were local and some were here on business or pleasure from out of town.

    I went to the Keystone Conference and met some 500 girls at the conference. Some of those girls I meet there year after year. A few of the girls that I met at Keystone I meet there year after year, for some 10 years now. In fact, one gurl that I met at Keystone was from my home town and graduated the same year as me from the same high school. We were also on the track team together and we had track lockers next to each other. How's that for a coincidence.

    I have met about 40% of the girls on my friends list FtF, plus others that I have met but never friended.

    And I would consider myself an introvert.

    Mostly, be safe, and put safety protocols in place. The first time I meet a new gurl FtF, I always meet in a public place or with other girls that I trust.
    Hi, I'm Steffi and I'm a crossdresser... And I accept and celebrate both sides of me. Or, maybe I'm gender fluid.

  6. #6
    Silver Member Micki_Finn's Avatar
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    You have to go where the dressers are! There must me some sort of LGBTQ group on campus? Or check around town for LGBT bars and clubs.

  7. #7
    Weirdest woman ever! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    What Micki said! I'm a "closeted" dresser. Meaning people who know me, except for immediate family, don't know about Sherry!

    Yet, I've been out to countless T friendly bars, clubs, and events. And, have met hundreds of dressers of all ilks there! Including my T buddy who I go everywhere with! Including overseas!

    I don't worry about going into any club or bar dressed alone, now. But, when was like u, and first begining? It WASN'T HAPPENIN!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  8. #8
    Sunshine Gal AngelaYVR's Avatar
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    Does your city have a bar with drag night? CDs usually like to go to those. And if you go, the key is to be personable and chatty and not to be the wallflower sitting at the bar.

    However, I can say that if your confidence is good then meeting non-wizarding folk at "regular" places may net you a few GG friends as well.

  9. #9
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    When I was in college, there were many trans support groups all over the country. I contacted them and met trans friends that way. Sadly, there are not many trans support groups left, but if you can find one it is a great, safe way to meet others. Otherwise online or at a gay club or event might be your only option; I never found the gay clubs a great way to meet other trans, usually spend the night twiddling my thumbs alone, but everyone's experience is different. There might be a trans inclusive gay group at your college, but you might not wanted to be outed there.

  10. #10
    Exploring NEPA now Cheryl T's Avatar
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    Look for Crossdresser and LGBTQ groups in your area.
    Wear what makes you feel Confident !

  11. #11
    Senior Member mbmeen12's Avatar
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    Bottom of this page are hyperlinks Lexi...
    Escapism isn't necessarily bad, but is definitely unhealthy in the long term. While helpful in the short term, things will degrade over time. At some point, the escapee will have to face the issue. Things simply blowing over isn't really going to happen in many situations.

  12. #12
    Platinum Blonde member Ressie's Avatar
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    In my case, they found me... right here on crossdressers.com. That was 9 years ago
    "You're the only one to see the changes you take yourself through", Stevie Wonder

  13. #13
    Aspiring Member MonicaPVD's Avatar
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    I have found that the Fetlife website offers a chance to meet all kinds of gurls nearby. From the ones who are looking for nsa hookups to those who are looking for friends to hang out with. I know that this website may be off-putting to many, but it is a good start. It's very easy to target a specific area (where you live, for example) and to ignore people who you are not interested in engaging with. I have had success meeting other CDs from my area on there.
    Last edited by MonicaPVD; 06-14-2021 at 07:24 AM.

  14. #14
    Princess Candice candykowal's Avatar
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    I find social clubs the real way to go as you find more sober and respectful people there....usually.
    Walk in to a meeting and check it out. They know ALL the events, all the SAFE places to go.

    Madison Transgender Social/Support Group

    Second & Fourth Fridays of each month from 7-9pm; also first & third Saturdays of each month from 3-5pm

    OutReach has moved to a new location: 2701 International Lane, Suite 101.
    Google MATA for more info and contact links.
    Candice Coleen Kowal ....all my friends call me Candy!

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