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Thread: Perspective

  1. #1
    Yendis Sidney's Avatar
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    Perspective

    Had conversation with wife this morning. For those who are unaware I have a very supportive wife. So I wake up this morning, pour a cup of coffee and go out on our covered patio to watch and hear the rain fall that I love to do. Twenty minutes later my wife follows and comments what a gloomy day it was. I commented to her how life giving rain (water) is and without it most life would die. How without rain animals whould have no food to eat and die and guess what would happen to us. She agreed but says she still doesn't like it. I celebrate the rain. Not 40 days and 40 nights of it though. I get us another cup of coffee and tell her I want to ask her a question. I wear and fill a B cup bra. I have breast and it is obvious. I do not take hormones or blockers. Doctors say my breast are there as a result of the many meds I take daily to keep me alive. God bless those meds. She lovely teases about how when I'm braless my headlights are on high beam. It doesn't bother her that I have boobs or being out in public with me. I am not out to many people but I think many of my friends have some sort of idea I walk to a different drummer. So I ask her if my meds didn't make my boobs grow and I told you I wanted to get a boob job what would you reply be. She got a real serious look on her face and thought for a bit and then replied. She said, Sidney, you just really confused me. I love you no matter what. Your boobs were caused because of medical reasons. So it sort of like if you were in a wheelchair, no embarrassment. But if there were no boobs and you wanted a boob job I think I may look at it differently. Now I'm a little confused. She likes and enjoys my boobs caused by medically necessary meds but not sure how she would feel if I just wanted a boob job or to get one to enhance what I now have. I just needed to express her and my thoughts and ask the thoughts of you girls.

  2. #2
    Member Lori Ann Westlake's Avatar
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    Well, I can sort of see what your wife is saying, Sidney. She still loves you even if health problems or other events beyond your control (such as aging) alter your appearance, perhaps other aspects of you as well. You can't help those changes, after all. But she's not so happy if you actively choose to make changes away from the "you" she's known and loved and become comfortable with. Does that make sense? I wouldn't worry about it anyway. Just be grateful for the good wife you have!

  3. #3
    GG Dutchess's Avatar
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    Accepting the situation and being glad the meds keep you alive and she has her husband with her is totally different from liking and enjoying B cup breasts on you or on anyone . Totally different.

    I hope I dont see alot of comments being harsh about the wife because not everyone is into this. It in no way makes them bad or a bigot or anything . Just because they love you doesn't mean they are going to wholly embrace everything . Many people are simply not into it but are willing in some cases to support their spouse or other relative .
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  4. #4
    Super Moderator char GG's Avatar
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    I think that you should take the gift of acceptance the way you are and be happy. Don't play "what if" with her.

    Like Dutchess says, in her mind, the two things are probably totally different.

  5. #5
    Gold Member Crissy 107's Avatar
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    Yes I agree totally different, not even close. Your wife accepts you the way you are and part of it is your boobs are caused by meds that keep you alive.
    Take her very good level of acceptance and leave it at that.
    Crissy

  6. #6
    Administrator Di's Avatar
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    Agree with everyone so will not repeat what was said.
    Your wife loves you for you and is accepting,
    Why even go there? ….I doubt you’re considering breast augmentation at age 76 .
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  7. #7
    Exploring NEPA now Cheryl T's Avatar
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    I understand her point. I know my wife would feel the same.
    Whatever occurs due to some medical issue is beyond your or her control and it's accepted as such.
    Your "decision" to have implants is a choice that she would be uncomfortable with.

    If you lost your leg in an accident she would accept it due to circumstances, but what if you chose to have a leg amputated to be like someone else? I know it's not exactly the same but it's the concept I'm presenting.
    Wear what makes you feel Confident !

  8. #8
    Senior Member GretchenM's Avatar
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    Like you, Sidney, I grew a pair probably about the same size as a result of prostate cancer treatment. They work fine for me with a bra. It is called gynecomastia. In some it happens naturally, in others it is a result of medical conditions or medications. I kind of look at my "headlights" as my reward for going through the cancer treatment and having my hormones totally messed up for nearly a year.

    My wife doesn't mind them because, like your wife, it is just something that happened. But she draws a line at much enhancement of them. That is definitely over the boundary fence. She is tolerant of my need to sometimes express the female-like aspects of my total identity, but she does not want to see it or be involved in it. "Maybe someday." That's OK with me.

    So, my recommendation is to forget about the enhancement idea and just make the most of what you have. I think we have a tendency to think that if you do not show prominent breasts you really aren't expressing the full femaleness we sense in ourselves. Look around. There are a lot of gorgeous, very feminine women who do not have prominent breasts. I think our view of that requirement is perhaps a bit of a fixation on a stereotype that says those big hooters are necessary. They are not. What is necessary is not the look, but the personality.

    And by the way, my love of rainy days is exactly like you describe. Love them dearly and out here in most of the West there are definitely not enough of them.

  9. #9
    Feminaut Julie MA's Avatar
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    Spousal acceptance and perspective are a mystery. But my not supportive wife once said if I dressed as a kink, that was ok. She just doesn't want me to want to be a girl. I think they fear the person they married will no longer exist. They also fear what others will think of them, having married a man with feminine desires and characteristics. Women fear the unknown and instability.
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  10. #10
    Aspiring Shopaholic BTWimRobin's Avatar
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  11. #11
    Gold Member alwayshave's Avatar
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    My wife is very accepting, if not encouraging. I have some extra breast tissue due to weight gain. But if I said I was getting a boob job, I know she would put her foot down.
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  12. #12
    Aspiring Member April Rose's Avatar
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    I think it would have confused and upset me if my late wife told me she wanted breast enhancement.
    I am a vessel of the goddess. Let me express my calling to a feminine life through nurturing love and relatedness.

  13. #13
    Yendis Sidney's Avatar
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    I want to clear up a misunderstanding in my original post. I am VERY happy for the breast nature or my medicines have given me. I do not want breast augmentation. It was a hypothetical question. Years ago my wife and I were sitting on the patio in our nightgowns. I had LARGE forms under my bra. She looked and me and said "Oh hell no, I'm the woman of the house and no one living here is going to have bigger breast than me". Well I went and changed to my natural me and returned and she said thank you. I know my place and I'm fine with it. Hopefully that clarifies things.

  14. #14
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    A lot of hypothetical questions burden the listener with a scenario that may be beyond thier imagination at that moment. The answer to a hypothetical question may be quiite different than the response to a real life situation. Don't be too concerned.

  15. #15
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    Hi Sidney , Be careful and don't rock ihr boat or you may get thrown overboard by the Captain,

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  16. #16
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    I checked your age and your a bit older than me; although not by much. Fifty years ago my wife and I said the "I do's." I suppose one could label your medication induced breasts as falling under "for better or worse, sickness and health." It may also fall under "shit happens!" I think you threw your wife a curve ball. Obviously, your breasts did not develop overnight. She had time to adjust, Now, you're throwing a "what if" at her. I don't know if I would have some instantaneous quip or comeback.

    Your second comment (#13) concerning removing your unnatural breast enhancements may suggest some limitations on acceptance and her comfort level. Maybe a woman is willing to endure her husband's interests as playing "dress up." There may be a "line in the sand" for some that a husband should not cross. If the husband is going to adopt mannerisms normally ascribed to a woman, and, add enhancements to the breast and hips, and, don a wig, and do the full makeup, then is he asking his wife to accept the loss of her male? If you're acting like a woman are you asking your wife to engage in some sort of pseudo lesbian relationship. That may be a "kink too far" for some women.

    I am sure every last one of us mull the "what if's" and "could have been" in our minds.

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