Results 1 to 14 of 14

Thread: how far, how fast

  1. #1
    Senior Member Angela1954's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2015

    how far, how fast

    After finally admitting to myself that I am indeed transgendered I have been coming out more and more. Wearing leggings most of the time, in public, the gym, etc. And I wear my denim leggings to work. Transition is not realistic due to my age, family, etc. Right now I'm in a very comfortable place and satisfied with my status. Only my wife knows; but I assume that anyone who sees me in leggings most of the time has an inkling. How many of you have identified as female but stopped well short of transitioning and are you comfortable with your
    Last edited by Angela1954; 07-02-2021 at 06:59 AM.

  2. #2
    Aspiring Member MonicaPVD's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2018
    New England
    It makes me happy to read about your process. I chose a long time ago to not transition and, instead, to lead a double life. It's not something that I'm particularly proud of but it's my reality. I've had some wonderful highs and really bad lows but this is my life. I'm always very much in awe of people who have the courage and/or ability to take that step. You are all amazing.

  3. #3
    Aspiring Member SaraLin's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2017
    Central Fla.
    I was (once upon a time) on hormones and transition bound.
    One day I looked in the mirror and realized that I'd never have enough money to "fix" all the male signs my body was giving off.
    Since the thought of being stuck somewhere between genders terrified me, I stopped. Cold. (this is just me I'm talking about - not a judgement of anyone else)
    Lots of soul searching, bouts of depression, and self hatred ensued before I worked my way through to a workable life.
    I've found an odd "balance point" between reality and desire. I can't say that I'm exactly "comfortable", but it minimizes the drama in my life and it's OK for the most part.

    Panties, always. Nighties every night. Everything else is DADT right now, due to wife's discomfort. I could probably push for a little more, but my love for her and consideration for HER feelings stops me.

  4. #4
    Senior Member GretchenM's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2016
    Denver, Colorado
    Good questions, Angela. Back in late 2012 and early 2013 I was serious about transition and explored it thoroughly before taking any steps in that direction. After that I realized that if I transitioned it would most likely simply reverse things - that is, I would be a woman who sometimes wanted to be more male-like. It seemed pretty pointless and I abandoned that path but have always kept it in my mind as a possibility if things were to change dramatically. Transition is still an option, but I view it less as an emotional choice and more as a choice if and when dysphoria reaches shrieking intensity and my male-like self basically dies. A practical, medical-like choice. Since then and now I am basically living with a non-binary or genderfluid identity and it is amazingly comfortable with very little dysphoria even occurring. I guess I have found the sweet balance where the male-like and female-like identities are compatible and supportive of each other helping each other deal with situations. It is good.

  5. #5
    Little Mrs. Snarky! Nadine Spirit's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
    Quote Originally Posted by Angela1954 View Post
    ......I have been coming out more and more......

    ......Only my wife knows...................
    I am confused, what does coming out mean to you if only your wife knows? Do you think that because you are wearing leggings in public locations that you are coming out? Hmmm..... maybe. Typically coming out means that you are telling people something. You seemed to have made an assumption that everybody that sees you knows that you are wearing clothing items that you purchase from the female side of the store and that somehow that says something about who you are as a human.

    I wore typical female related items, clothes, jewelry, purse, wallet, phone case, nails polished, etc. I did that for years before I ever came out. Coming out was a far different process than wearing feminine clothing items.

  6. #6
    Exploring NEPA now Cheryl T's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    I'm stopped short, but comfortable?? The jury is still out.
    Wear what makes you feel Confident !

  7. #7
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    S.E.Baltimore Co. Maryland USA
    Hi Angela , It sounds like you are a Work in Progress, >Orchid**00**
    Having my ears triple pierced is AWESOME, ~~......

    I can explain it to you, But I can't comprehend it for you !

    If at first you don't succeed, Then Skydiving isn't for you.

    Be careful what you wish for, Once you ring a bell , you just can't Un-Ring it !! !!

  8. #8
    Aspiring Member Brenda Freeman's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Since retiring I have grown my hair out, pierced my ears and like you wear leggings regularly. My wife is fine with it. I do not go further unless I go out to meet friends or just want some girltime at home, then I add make up and breast forms and a dress or skirt. So I am still a crossdresser at times only my wife and certain friends know this, but am also enjoying daily life more.

  9. #9
    Sunshine Gal AngelaYVR's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2014
    British Columbia
    Quote Originally Posted by Nadine Spirit View Post
    Do you think that because you are wearing leggings in public locations that you are coming out?
    I thought it was evident that Angela was doing it at her own pace and to the level that keeps her happy and comfortable. It is not incumbent on anyone to meet ministry quotas.

  10. #10
    Aspiring Member Joyce Swindell's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    Orlando, Fl
    I'm pretty comfortable with where I am m/f. Once retired I will most likely be more balanced outwardly as I'm now presenting 80-90% male. We get out once in a while but I would enjoy more time out.

  11. #11
    Senior Member Angela1954's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2015
    Quote Originally Posted by AngelaYVR View Post
    I thought it was evident that Angela was doing it at her own pace and to the level that keeps her happy and comfortable. It is not incumbent on anyone to meet ministry quotas.
    Thank you for the thoughtful response.

  12. #12
    Member RylieCD's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Yes, i know I am transgender but due to other obligations i do not see pursuing it as an option. So for me it is the double life.

  13. #13
    Aspiring Member April Rose's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2017
    Conflict and its resolution seems to be the theme here. Now that I am alone I have been working with a therapist trying to get a handle on where I stand genderwise. I am interested in the idea of non binary, but at 71 it's such a foreign concept to my generation that it's difficult to claim it as an identity. On the other hand, since I dress in women's clothes most of the time when I am home it creates this conflict with the male Identity I present to the outside world. That conflict is very uncomfortable to me. I am out to some friends and not to others.

    I have been cultivating friends within the trans community: Last Week I spent A day in Provincetown with someone I met on this site and came back with pierced ears. I have been trying to be more open about who I am.

    But getting to a place where I am really comfortable? Not so much.
    Last edited by April Rose; 07-02-2021 at 09:26 PM. Reason: 2nd thoughts
    I am a vessel of the goddess. Let me express my calling to a feminine life through nurturing love and relatedness.

  14. #14
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Las Vegas Nevada
    I admitted to myself I'm transgender in 2019. I started dressing more feminine immediately. Meaning skirts way more often. But still male some times. Over a year later in November of 2020 I took the plunge and was more around 95% of the time wearing female clothes. In January this year I went to nearly 100% of the time only wearing male clothes for dirty work. On Wednesday this week the very last of the male clothes with the exception of the 2 kilts have been removed from my house. The kilts are going to someone so I'm holding them for him. I have yet to even start HRT but that is coming soon I hope. I am back to a regular job starting next week so money will be less of a problem and I will eventually have insurance again. I hope to get things going in the next couple of months. No worries with the job I made them aware from the start.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts

Check out these other hot web properties:
Catholic Personals | Jewish Personals | Millionaire Personals | Unsigned Artists | Crossdressing Relationship
BBW Personals | Latino Personals | Black Personals | Crossdresser Chat | Crossdressing QA
Biker Personals | CD Relationship | Crossdressing Dating | FTM Relationship | Dating | TG Relationship

The crossdressing community is one that needs to stick together and continue to be there for each other for whatever one needs.
We are always trying to improve the forum to better serve the crossdresser in all of us.

Browse Crossdressers By State