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Thread: How did you come out to your SO?

  1. #26
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    i was at home 300miles from now wife we was talking on the phone one night and i just came out with im a cross dresser and her reply was is the all now married 15 years

  2. #27
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    She found my stash and confronted me about it a few weeks later during an argument about something else. Had the usual im not gay talk and its been pretty wonderful ever since.

  3. #28
    Member Gi Gondin's Avatar
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    After two failed marriages I think I got a hang of it. Tell her and tell her fast!

    I probably already mentioned somewhere here in this forum, but Just as we start to date, less than 3 months I told her about my interest for crossdressing. She had some questions but seemed to accept it.

    Next day. Panic. She wanted to have a serious talk. Had a thousand questions. Was very upset.
    Later she recalled her feelings as thinking - ?he is gay and does?t even aware of it?.

    I choose one of the worst answers Possible when asked if I was gay. - ?I dont know.?

    I?m not gay, never had a drop of attraction for any man, but the problem was that I haven?t put much thought about my crossdressing either. I just had the need, the desire. And later found out that lack of thought influenced my self prejudice.

    We got every thing straightened, clarified and 3 years later I have this loving partner beyond my wildest dream. She embraced Gi as her girlfriend and makes sure I am comfortable and do not hold back from mu feelings.

  4. #29
    Miss Judy Judy-Somthing's Avatar
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    After finding this Forum three years ago I started accepting myself being a CDer.

    I felt "I'm a nice guy and loving my wife I should tell her who I am".

    It didn't go well, it's weighing pretty heavy on our relationship, I'm deep in the closet and I don't want a divorce.
    "This is ME" I am not CRAZY, I'm just a GUY who likes dresses!
    Since allot of men dress up in woman's clothing that makes it a manly thing to do!
    Much more fun than fishing.
    I do construction like house building and I love CD-ing, what's the difference?

  5. #30
    Senior Member Angela Marie's Avatar
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    My second marriage here. I told my wife on our second or third date. I didn’t want to hide it; not only for my mental health but also to give her the opportunity to walk away. She had no problems. We have gone to a few outings at a transgender bar. But she decided it was not for her. To each their own. She is understanding and that’s all I can ask.

  6. #31
    Member XemmaX's Avatar
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    Told her first or second date.

  7. #32
    Aspiring Member LIKETODRESS2's Avatar
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    I told here before we even started daiting. We ttook it slow but she was abel to accept me for me and it great

  8. #33
    Member Cacique82's Avatar
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    We?ve been together since 2001, married ?09 and only told her three years ago. She always knew I was into lingerie when she had it on.
    One night I said I wanted to try on her stockings and I said it?s something I have to do. She?s been understanding ever since. I?ve made it a bigger deal than it is to her.
    To gauge her I asked if it?d be ok if I got a nightgown or two (I?d already had a stash for years) she says ?buy ?em-wear what you want?. Pretty much a green light and with as amazing as that is it?s actually difficult sometimes for me to believe she?s that cool with it. Feel very blessed.

  9. #34
    Member XemmaX's Avatar
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    Yeah that's basically it tell early as possible to allow her to walk if she really want open to it in some form or another and less emotional stress for us.

  10. #35
    Member Ameli's Avatar
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    I respect you for wanting to tell your partner. It feels amazing to be open and close to our spouses about our feelings. Just tossing the clothes doesn?t stop the feelings or the fact that you?re gender diverse on some level. I can?t imagine that it would be easy for either of you to have this conversation; it will take months to sort through all this for even strong couples. But it is worth it. I suspect there is a strong chance that your partner feels like you?re not fully open with them as it is. Do you see a therapist? They would be able to help with this situation.

    All the best with this. It?s a tough situation.

  11. #36
    Member Teresa.Smith.VA's Avatar
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    Deleted by Teresa.
    Last edited by Teresa.Smith.VA; 07-14-2021 at 02:15 PM.
    I honor my wife's request that I not post pictures.

  12. #37
    Member jessicabf's Avatar
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    I may have a unique experience. My wife and I have discovered this part of me together. What started as ?playing around? with some of her clothes has become a more intimate bond and discovery we have both enjoyed. Nowadays she is more driver to plan outings, find cute outfits.
    Jessica BF

  13. #38
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    There?s not a simple answer to this. The reality is that people are complex?and women are more so. Your perfectly place intentions and communication may still confuse her. I think that you should avoid telling her until a few things happen.

    1. She knows that you put her and her needs above all else. This is easy, when you?re in love as a younger man and Twitterpatted and all of that. Then couples lose some of that energy and infatuation with each other?and not just the hormones and romance?she goes from being your girlfriend, lover, and best friend?to nearly your sibling. I believe that you have to eclipse this element of your marriage before you go somewhere that is in my view quite selfish and of course also very misunderstood.

    IF you get here, frankly, there?s not a lot you can do to hurt them or break their trust, because they know you love him?they don?t just hear or see it?they know. However, IF you are not here yet?you can?t do this in a short timeframe?you need to prove it to yourself and to her over a long while?so that this isn?t just ?OH, he did all of those nice things, because of his secret??that would suck.

    Now, having stated all of that?I told my wife of 25+ years before we were married. I knew little of what it mean back then, as I?ve always had these leanings and we learned a bit together. Because my wife KNOWS she comes first in all areas of our relationship, she wishes that I?m just as happy and honestly, she?s most happy when I am. After wanting to grown my hair long for my entire life?I finally have it approaching my shoulders, and she?s my biggest fan and supporter?and you know what?this love between us has almost nuked the pink fog?not entirely, but the point is?that it?s an ?us? thing?and not a ?me? thing.

    I believe in prayer?I believe in serving our family and of course the wife?so do what?s best, and things will work out, and you?ll know when to go there?.and yeah, you?ll be scared, but she will support you.

    DON?T GO EARLY?.and I would also say, you should hold on and not risk getting caught?it?s just not worth it, and you could destroy what?s ultimately more important than you wearing a dress!

    Serve?and you?ll be fine.

  14. #39
    Silver Member Kay J's Avatar
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    Told my wife after many years of marriage(42). She said why did you tell me that i said i would be better telling you now then you walking in on me sometime. She said good point! She doesn't want to be involved in it with me but gives me time when i want. She always texts me before she comes home if i tell her and i have morning time from 4 to 8 o'clock and one more thing she said please never go out of the house!! I can live with that and she can to.

  15. #40
    New Member Leanne.cd.uk's Avatar
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    I feel I may be one of the very lucky ones.

    I had been single for just over a year and got together with a long time female friend. She was coming over to mine after work etc... We made the decision to give a relationship a good go. Still together year and half later.

    One day she came round and complained about her bra digging into her. I made a flippant remark to which she replied "it's OK for you, I would like to see you after 8 hours in one!"

    I just replied with pass it here then.

    Proceeded to put it on professionally.

    Yep she said have you done that befor lol.

    Opened up to her saying I couldn't lie and yes I do fully dress etc....

    It took a good few months but she eventually met Leanne and we have been out together.

    She is so accepting its unreal.

  16. #41
    Member SissieScott's Avatar
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    I agree Leanne......It's easier for a SO to process it if it's discussed, rather than *caught*, found out, etc... MOST women feel PURPOSELY not telling is just as bad as a bald face lie! Which instantly compounds the issue.....who did I marry, WHY did they lie, what else have they lied about, why did they sneak around, instead of telling me....*Am I that bad of a SO*??, etc. etc. etc
    An open an honest conversation is a *level playing field*, if caught or outed you will be on Defense mode and will spend more time digging yourself out, than getting your views, thoughts, desire out well enough to be understood.
    "Out of ALL the thing I have lost, it's my mind that I miss the most"

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