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Thread: Pink Fog Post (my apologies in advance)?

  1. #1
    Member Erin Lafleur's Avatar
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    Pink Fog Post (my apologies in advance)...

    Probably the 10,000th community post about the pink fog but I felt like I had to share with folks who could understand and really, you all are my tribe, so to speak. Nobody else knows about or would understand my private femme life so please excuse the following novel. I'm just now where I've longed to be for decades and it's as gratifying as I always felt it would be. And then some...
    My story is much like almost every member here where my interest began at a very tender age. When the opportunity presented itself at the age of 6-7, I would venture into my mom's panty drawer and try on her panties and slips. It felt wonderful! I didn't know then why it felt so good and still not absolutely clear on why it still does but that really doesn't matter to me one wit. That feeling has never left me and clearly it has become a lifelong passion of mine. There are few things that I find as rewarding and gratifying as my feminine expression and, if it hasn't left me in over fifty years, it probably ain't going to.
    I'm now in a position where I can indulge my passion as often as I care to and that's basically every morning, evening and the entirety of the weekend (I still work for a living, unfortunately). Due to previous living arrangements, dressing was always somewhat of a high-risk proposition for me. I was confined to stealing moments where I felt safe enough to maybe wear panties to bed or under my male clothes but nothing much further than that. A little frustrating to say the least but it was what it was.
    I recently purchased my own place (son has grown up and left the nest) and really couldn't be happier with my newfound freedom. It is incredibly liberating and such a long, long time coming. No more worrying about someone coming home unexpectedly or them finding my hidden lingerie cache. I now have a very impressive panty, bra, and stocking drawer and it's not hidden away under a pile of drab clothes as it had been for almost my whole life. It's proudly front and center!
    I hang my dresses, skirts, blouses, and nighties in my closet without having to stuff them where they are unlikely to be found by others. My heels and wig stands are on the upper shelf. I can leave my bubble bath and lady shavers on the bathtub. I can leave my panties on the bathroom floor and freshly washed stockings over the rail (I don't have to but there is something about that visual that works for me). I can leave my makeup out and my jewelry box on the dresser. I shaved my legs and chest for the first time. Did I say how wonderful it is shaving one's legs in a Lavender bubble bath? I'm sure most of you know!
    I chose my new home carefully in that beyond the usual interior requirements, I had to ensure that my outside patio had sightlines with absolute privacy (I love the outdoors in the summer). I also spent a fair little bit of dough on improving the look of my little piece of nirvana with plants and artwork and it's great to be able to enjoy my morning coffee dressed in nothing more than a bra, panties and nightie and be fully relaxed and calm in doing so. Nobody can see me and there is absolutely no baseline apprehensive feeling that someone could unexpectedly come home and surprise me into a mad dash to avoid an uncomfortable scene. I go outside every evening and have a glass of wine (always ensuring that I wear lipstick for the full feminine wine glass signature ). It feels wonderful to have a breeze gently ruffle my skirt and my past shoulder length hair while folding my arms gently under my breasts and admiring the sunset or moon. It has certainly been worth waiting for...
    I still haven't fully conquered my "baseline" apprehension with being "caught" yet but, I'm getting there very quickly. That is not to say that I am ashamed of what I truly enjoy to my core or that I am doing anything wrong. Far from it. That's definitely not what this thoroughly welcome and newfound freedom is about. I simply prefer to compartmentalize this part of my life and feel absolutely no need or compulsion to explain or justify my choices to anyone. It's no one's business but my own but, on the other hand, I still wanted to share with some one who would understand. Thanks for listening!
    PS: I haven't posted much since I joined several years ago but that doesn't mean that I haven't received tons of valuable information and a kind of passive support in knowing that I'm not alone in this journey. It has sustained me more than you'll know. Also, who knew that hair spray would help in keeping my stay-ups in place (the previous bane of my existence) and that contouring with foundation and powder can provide some of that cleavage that we all desire (and that I still suck at but, early days there)? looks like a Nubra may be the way to go!
    Last edited by Erin Lafleur; 07-12-2021 at 02:41 PM.
    The most common form of despair is not being who you are. - Soren Kierkegaard

  2. #2
    Member Teresa.Smith.VA's Avatar
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    Deleted by Teresa. No picture to prove authenticity.
    Last edited by Teresa.Smith.VA; 07-14-2021 at 01:57 PM.
    I honor my wife's request that I not post pictures.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member
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    Erin, I too share no compulsion to shout from the roof tops to announce to the world that I enjoy wearing women's attire. Yes, it can be a very personal and satisfying affair. You get to control if and when you want to expand your horizons.

  4. #4
    Gold Member Sometimes Steffi's Avatar
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    Hmmm. Shout it from the rooftops... Maybe I should add that to my bucket list.
    Hi, I'm Steffi and I'm a crossdresser... And I accept and celebrate both sides of me. Or, maybe I'm gender fluid.

  5. #5
    Member Gi Gondin's Avatar
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    Congratulations Erin.

    I?m really happy for you. Enjoy this phase of your life and if its your wish to find a partner to share your life, choose someone willing to appreciate YOU, as a whole human being! Don?t settle for less.

  6. #6
    Senior Member GretchenM's Avatar
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    You don't have to apologize for anything. It is a beautiful story. You have reached a major plateau or summit. If it makes you feel whole and comfortable then you have reached a point where the machinery is running smoothly. I wish for you to stay in that realm.

  7. #7
    Senior Member Karen RHT's Avatar
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    No apology necessary Erin, yours is a lovely thought and story. Keep going and keep enjoying.


    Karen

  8. #8
    Member XemmaX's Avatar
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    this is a really cool post and im really happy for you that you found total self acceptance of who you are! go you!

  9. #9
    Member Erin Lafleur's Avatar
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    Thank you all for your kind words.
    As I mentioned previously, this community has been a great help to me in knowing that I'm not alone in this wonderful pursuit and that it's ok to be different. Our journeys, while often different in many ways, seem to follow an often common thread. Many of us started very young, long before we were even aware of sexual or gender differences. It just felt good. Simple as that.
    I think many of us have struggled with this expression with alternately purging and buying (buying is way more fun) and that seems to come with the territory. A necessary evil, it seems. Since finding this site, it has been a great comfort to me to know that I'm not alone and that good and decent people can support one another from all parts of this gloriously diverse world. It's very affirming for me and clearly many others. In the future, I will try to be more of an active participant as I really have always understood the value of this community but chose to learn from you all without really adding much in return. It's almost kind of selfish in a way.
    At any rate, thank you again for all of your help over the years. It has really helped me to reach and thoroughly enjoy the freedom and expression that I have waited for decades to be able to unapologetically and confidently live.
    The most common form of despair is not being who you are. - Soren Kierkegaard

  10. #10
    Gold Member Lana Mae's Avatar
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    You go, Erin! Good for you! Best wishes on your journey! Hugs Lana Mae
    Life is worth living!
    "Foxy lady! You look so good!!" Jimi Hendrix

  11. #11
    Senior Member Nikkilovesdresses's Avatar
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    Really enjoyed your post Erin, thanks for writing. I'm happy for you- how exciting to have your own nest, and I relate strongly to the joy of being outside in a dress- god how I envy women that feeling of air moving between your thighs. I waft around outside early in the morning or late in the evening. Yesterday I experienced something new, the feeling of warm morning sunshine on my butt, as I bent over doing some weeding, wearing a short dress. Might sound dumb, but I never sunbathe - too fearful of melanoma - so it was a novelty.

    I wish you all the best in your new home.
    I used to have a short attention spa

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